she knows how to rock 'n' roll

WYATT ELIJAH CLARINGTON. wyatt clarington. cook. currently living in a new york state of mind. tonight i'm gonna have myself a real good time tenant of woodmere apartment complex where i live with my cat, clarence. also the roommate. engaged single as fuck. don't stop me (cause i'm having a good time)

[rosemaisie-blog]

Aw shucks, Wyatt. That’s like, super nice of you, but it’s okay. I’m super bad with dates, too (hence forgetting my own birthday) and the only thing I really wanted was a quantum physics particle accelerator. Lots of zero’s on that price tag.

[wyattforit-blog]

Yeah, I don’t really know where to get a quantum physics particle accelerator around here, especially not for a reasonable price. I could probably pick you up a science themed calendar or planner of some sort - does that count as an acceptable gift?

[jackiehenderson-deactivated2016]

True, I loved those movies! Martin Freeman was amazing. Indeed I have, since I was 18. I just haven’t really been around but I felt like it was the right time after Henrietta’s passing.

[wyattforit-blog]

How lame would it make me sound if I claimed the books were better? Then again, the books often are. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not too good with ages. You could tell me you were eighteen or that you were twenty five, I would believe you either way. The since I was 18 part suggests that you probably aren’t eighteen anymore. Please enlighten me -- how many years have I failed to properly introduce myself to you?

[rosemaisie-blog]

That supremely awkward moment when you’re so stressed out and busy that you forget your own birthday. Shoutout to Mama Whitacre for reminding me that twenty five years ago yesterday, I decided to destroy the world with my presence.

[wyattforit-blog]

Happy belated birthday, Whitacre mini. I’m horrible with dates, but would totally have gotten you something if I had remembered.

[dria-stjames-deactivated2016052]

… What the hell. You’re telling me someone actually fell for that?

[wyattforit-blog]

I was surprised too. Though I’m not sure they actually fell for it - I hope not, at least. Maybe they thought it was cute, maybe they knew him. I’m hoping there’s a reasonable story behind why they actually left with Sparkles.

[herosmythe-blog]

What the hell kind of Easter is that?…sounds like you work at some kind of creepy fun house or you live in Halloween town. Also, Edward Cullen is gross, so no thank you.

[wyattforit-blog]

Wish I had all the answers, man. Wait, no. I take that back. I think I would actually prefer not to know what was going on with that guy. Edward Cullen is borderline creepy, but I think I prefer that over his counterpart: mister borderline pedophile.

[cadehummel-deactivated20170209]

People are dedicated to franchises. Though something like that sounds like an overkill. Even when that series was big, I didn’t imagine something like that happening.

[wyattforit-blog]

I didn’t imagine something like this happening either. It was horrifying and in my ideal world, I never have to see anything like it ever again. 

[stayliquid]

I guess this means you weren’t #teamedward?

[wyattforit-blog]

Robert Pattinson makes it worth it to be #teamedward. Creepy guys in bars? Not so much.

[evansowen-blog]

Was this an actual person or a lunatic?

[wyattforit-blog]

An actual person, I’m afraid.

[polkadottedmari]

Oh god, please tell me this is a fucking joke.

[wyattforit-blog]

I wish I could...

[jackiehenderson-deactivated2016]

That does sound like a pain. I was always more of a Harry Potter fan. Not hardcore though. Nice to meet you Wyatt.

[wyattforit-blog]

Harry Potter wasn’t too bad, though Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit totally outruns all. So, Jackie Henderson. Been staying here for long?

[jackiehenderson-deactivated2016]

Wow, I thought that movie was dead by now too. Why did you watch it? I’m Jackie by the way, I don’t believe we have met.

[wyattforit-blog]

Right? It’s not supposed to still be out there. Would never put myself through watching Twilight again. Once was more than enough. We probably haven’t, no. I’m Wyatt.

[wyattforit-blog]

At this point in my life, I have seen a lot of scary stuff but not scary enough to prepare me for what happened yesterday. First off, I thought Twilight was dead by now. Apparently not. Secondly, applying glitter to your face and putting in fake fangs is not cool. It’s a disgrace. Thirdly, going home with the Edward Cullen wannabee is just weak. Have some pride in yourself.