❝ 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞.

[wylain]

𝐰𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐜𝐤.  𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 &. 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞.  

inspiration taken from the novel, show and headcanons. due to changes made in the show, wylan is 20+. please do not follow me if you’re underage.   written by yana.

[stlowens]

Mary Oliver, from “Invitation.”

[weusedtobegiants]

Unteachable, that’s what I was.

Christa Wolf, from Cassandra; A Novel and Four Essays, tr. by Jan van Heurck

[wylain]

❛ do you mind explaining it once more?… i,   um…  ❜ wylan’s eyes shifted away from jayce and to his blank notebook that he hid from view.   ❛ i just need it explained a second time,   i promise.   ❜   /   @arkhayn  ❨ 𝐣𝐚𝐲𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬 ❩ 

[qaradise]

*acts innocent but thinks about riding the fuck out of you*

[wylain]

@perilgrip

[megairea]

There are such things as ghosts. People everywhere have always known that. And we believe in them every bit as much as Homer did. Only now, we call them by different names. Memory. The unconscious.

Donna Tartt, The Secret History, 1992 (via megairea)

[reg1ment]

there’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. can we kiss

[wylain]

@perilgrip​​

[luthienne]

The fact that I was able to give a name to the pain, the fact that it answered to its name, gave me a breath of air. One day it must be over. Nothing lasts forever.

Christa Wolf, Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays (tr. Jan van Heurck)

[wylain]

isenborn​.

eyes cold as ice catch wylans face — he notices how the nerves sift through wylans facial expression. matthias was more terrified than he had ever been in his entire life, though admitting to it was pointless, there was nothing wylan could say or do that would calm his nerves, or ease his mind. ❛ what is it you fear? ❜ he asks, ❛ is it your father? or is it death? ❜ death always lingered in every aspect of their lives, it was why they spoke the words: no mourners, no funerals. ❛ neither you nor i have a thing to be fearful of wylan. ❜   that was a lie. he’d feared the worst for nina, she’d been getting better, but what if this was the calm before the storm.

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟.   𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭.   𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟,   and probably anyone who knew of him.   but they had been the first people to accept him,   for every fault that he had,   they never judged him for it.   ❛ i’m done being afraid of him… ❜ wylan’s voice grew quiet, but defiant.  his father had proven many times that he would rather be rid of his child than see him thrive in a passion he desired,   even if that passion was far out of reach,   he wanted to make sure that wylan would never take anything that was is.   ‘as long as it takes people to forget i had a son. ‘  those words replayed endlessly in wylan’s head.   he had wanted to be forgotten as well.   he wanted to forget wylan van eck had ever existed.  but now,  he wanted to exist to spite his father,   he wanted to scream aloud and curse his father’s name for all his crimes.   wylan knew his vengeance was tied into what the crows wanted and needed for their own purposes.   

❛ i used to fear both… my father and death… i think i fear failure mostly… and well, losing the people i’ve come to love like family…. some more than family… ❜ his voice trailed off silently,   he hoped that matthias didn’t catch the last part,   but he felt no shame in admitting it.   wylan offered him a smile,  his cheeks were touched with a soft pink,  though it held some sadness in it’s form,   ❛ you’re right… we don’t have anything to be fearful of… and nina, i— ❜ his words cut off,  he stopped himself before they tumbled clumsily out of his mouth with no way of stopping.   he wanted to be sure they were right when he heard them and offered them to matthias,   ❛ nina is strong.  she is perhaps one of the strongest people i’ve ever come to know… she will get through it… and well, we all will.  ❜ wylan managed another smile,   he hoped this one didn’t carry the sorrow that the last one did.   it was hard,  under the circumstances..    but he did his best to smile like everything would be okay.

[wylain]

sovrenyi​.

❛ obviously, you’ve never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜​

𝐰𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐲,   𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫.   𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲,   alekasander’s face did not invite a welcoming into mirth.   ❛ well, that seems like a very ridiculous analogy…  ❜ wylan muttered,   intending to keep it below a whisper.  but it had escaped such wants.   ❛ i— well…. how was i to know how a thirteen year old girl would react?….  it wasn’t my intention to hurt her feelings… i mean obviously, i’ve never been a thirteen year old girl.  ❜ wylan sighed deeply,   now feeling regretful that he had possibly hurt the little girl’s feelings.

[wylain]

swetewyn​.

   ❛     love  does  the  damndest  things  doesn’t  it  ?     ❜     wry  crescent  moons  ,    fingertips  press  in  ,    bittersweet  laugh  .    a  pause  ,    presses  glossed  tiers  shut — returns  to  smile  laden  by  teeth  .    her  humor  is  not  at  him:  and  more  so  at  what  flutters  out  of  him  .    the  subject  itself  ,    the  tiny  pinprick  sized  spark  it  bothers  inside  her  for  him .    a  thoughtful  hum  ,    she  leans  in  on  one  elbow  ,    cocks  a  brow  high  up  .  

       ❛     not  at  all  what  you  need  it  to —  who  broke  your  heart  ?    ❜    

𝐰𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝,   𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐭.   𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.   𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝… 𝐧𝐨,   though perhaps it was less rare than he expected.   love had alluded him for so long he wasn’t quite certain if he could make heads or tails of what it truly felt like.  would he feel it like the rush of a cool wind over his skin?   or would it sneak inside his heart,  like a familiar scent that came and go so often that it made him comfortable.   he sighed softly,   his mind once again overworking when it could provide the simplest of answers.  he knew he had pondered far too long now to push out a disappointing answer that would leave their conversation dry,   and longing for something more.  he opened his mouth to speak, but the words felt lodged into his throat.   as if he might need to throw them up rather than spit them out.   another soft breath was taken in and he met her gaze,   ❛  does it need to be a who? … ❜

it was easier to question with a question.   how would he explain the situation of his father?   he felt the anger and sorrow rising in him like a flood.   he knew if he let those words spill from his lips,  he may need to confront more than just his overwhelming emotions. ❛ i could list many things as well as people who have let me down… but i think it’s more than that… it’s a matter of allowing someone to judge your worth based on how they feel about you… less about love, i suppose… or perhaps it’s all about love… ❜ he paused.   he flushed believing that he had started ramble on too much, about nothing.

[starwarsrebels]

# grisha grin

[wylain]

❛ my father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜

❨    @wrayith​​ asked :    ❛   ✐  —   𝐑𝚨𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝚨𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  . . .  accepting . . .

[wylain]

❛ it’s not given to people to judge what’s right or wrong.    people have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken,    and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜

❨    @sovrenyi​ asked :    ❛   ✐  —   𝐑𝚨𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝚨𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  . . .  accepting . . .

[wylain]

❛ i was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜

❨    @perilgrip​ asked :    ❛   ✐  —   𝐑𝚨𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝚨𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  . . .  accepting . . .

[wylain]

❛ all i wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜

❨    @swetewyn​ asked :    ❛   ✐  —   𝐑𝚨𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝚨𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  . . .  accepting . . .

[wylain]

perilgrip​.

push him further, a voice in his head told him, make him want you like you do him. he loved watching wylan nervously wriggle with emotions with his flushed face — that expression sent his heart racing, exciting him to the core… wylan was far too much fun for jesper to even comprehend. ❛ teasing you? ❜ he parrots, questioningly. no, he wanted nothing more than to press his lips to the pink cheeked merchlings. ❛ testing you, is all. i didn’t think you’d be able to do it — merchling. ❜ running his tongue of his lips. ❛ though — quite a disappointment knowing that you backed down from the challenge. i know we would have both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. ❜  why did his heart betray him, why were his eyes giving away emotions he’d rather keep hidden they softened upon the merchlings eyes blue as the zemeni skies, beautiful sky blue. he wanted wylan to keep staring at him with those wide eyes, though he wasn’t sure how his body would react if he did.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬….  𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.    𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.   the words peppered through unkept silence.  the conversation showed no signs of dying, unless wylan felt that itch of bravery creep back into him.   so much so that he would somehow elevate himself high enough to feel his lips touch jespers.   the thought alone left him breathless.   jesper’s lips were perfect.   that would always remain his first impression of him.  even now they way they seemed to slightly pursue as if he was tempting wylan forward.  however, much like a stone statue, wylan wouldn’t budge.  there was an unspoken fear that he felt in  his chest.   this feeling of longing… would it fade away with the gratification of what he desired?   or would it only make him more desperate to be in the presence of jesper.  his thoughts kept turning themselves over, as if the solution was somewhere underneath all of the musing.   ❝ oh.  ❞  wylan hadn’t meant to express it—it was a soft gasp at the softening features of jesper.   saints, why is my chest on fire.  wylan nudged himself slightly forward,   only to bring about the more prominent height difference.  ❝ i wasn’t backing down. ❞ he stared up at jesper, his eyes not settling on either eye—bouncing back and forth as if he’d find a different reaction in them.   he paused waited for the laugh, the silence to burst with he sound of jesper’s voice.  but nothing came, just the satisfaction that maybe he might be able to see jesper’s face redden for once.  he decided instead of clumsily trying to reach jesper’s height,   he would have jesper meet him half way.   his heart felt like it might burst from his chest like the bombs he crafted.   he grabbed hold of jesper’s collar and pushed up on the tips of his toes to press his lips against jesper’s.   something felt as though it erupted inside of his chest,   and he wondered briefly if he might survive jesper.  the feeling was so intense that his whole body went hot and cold.  but all he could think about was how soft jesper’s lips felt against his own, and how his body seemed to melt into his.