ulder ravengard scholar

that's mx. wyllstarion to you. are baldur's gate 3 players the devil? discuss. if you call me white i will kill myself in front of you. i follow from @taohun

[wyllstarion]

like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

[wyllravengards]

im so normal about him

[aeona-ao3]

The Wyllstarion horrors inflicted on @karlachian's tav, Avalina, in their first run (and all runs thereafter) deserved to be immortalized forever.

[wyllstarion]

and you know what. perhaps every moment of peace taken from me. every person who looked at me like i was crazy when i said well i don't know what game YOU'RE playing but they ARE trying to get married in front of me. all of that? worth it. for this.

[wyllstarion]

We are naught but pawns in the wyllstarion dating game

no one in this world better suited to receive this missive than me. what fundamentally everyone must understand about my presence here is that i had never once interacted with baldur's gate 3 fandom outside of dak-wai delights. this [vague gestures at my posts]. happened mostly organically. because. my first playthrough of this game. was SET on letting me know how bad wyllstarion wanted to have insane gay sex. like. really quite dire. rousing call from the halls of my house: shoutout to avalina my first tav my strongest soldier. all they ever wanted to do. was live peacefully with their wife (karlach) and periodically turn into a sheep (wild magic sorcerer). instead. every single wyllstarion thing that could happen happened. astarion would NOT shut up about how handsome wyll is and how bad he wants to drink his blood. wyll would NOT leave astarion's hair alone. like constant flirting. constant bickering. i didn't even get the astarion bite cutscene like i think he was just doing insane experiments on wyll instead. the culmination. of the last quest i did before i started progressing plot. i.e. ansur. was them setting up a dinner date with each other. and NOT INVITING ME THE MAIN CHARACTER. "cheap brown ale and a fresh hunk of venison???" "ohohoho i'm a snob about aleee but i'd still like your companyyyyy" "can we please. fucking do what we came here to do."

like good for them i fucking GUESS. LEAVE ME OUT OF IT ! you want to fuck each other so bad you're making it everyone else's problem and i simply did not. sign up for that. but ultimately i am the one on tumblr dot com. logging on and making deranged posts about them. so i think they won this one.

[diosapate]

wyllstarion-induced hysteria

[ririarts]

I miss them <3

[wyllstarion]

remember rat king

[wyllstarion]

so the bit with this one is what happens when tav is a speedrunner and does not want to do the cazador questline, thereby leaving astarion in the sewers to hallucinate the dastardly rat king. and also wyll ravengard. it's ostensibly very silly because astarion is posited as jughead from riverdale but also i was kind of going crazy style in the doc. unfortunatel y. i don't know how if i can ever finish it . because of the terrors

[wyllstarion]

remember rat king

[pitchburgh]

good or not, would anyone else WANT your url?

MANY people would want my Tumblr handle

a small handful of folks might want my Tumblr handle

I'm the only one who wants my url (positive)

Honestly? I don't even want this url myself

Voting ended onJun 1

[wyllstarion]

me in the trenches as i often am. hand up to my screen: wyll ravengard. do you know. what it means. to be a man who knows he is from a narrative. you can't be a memory of a memory you're just a man. you can't put yourself there. because. the thing is. heroes are for tragedies. and i need you to live. you do not have to be good you do not have to walk on your kne e s[the fucking void gets me]

wyll ravengard: can anyone else hear that. because i can't. i'm too busy being subsumed by the role i have cast myself in alone with my strength doomed to my philosophy. anyways. dolor!

astarion cunning action dash action dash kicking you KILLING YOU because he was too busy doing fuckall on the other side of the map and now we've entered battle mode:

[diosapate]

i have dead wife flashbacks about francesca ravengard too like ulder is nottttt special

[ulderravengard]

hey

[diosapate]

[ulderravengard]

counselor florrick what do you mean i can’t mobilize the mercenary class of baldur’s gate to run personal errands. this is a matter of my honor and the great pillars with which i am sure you’re familiar. courage insight justice strategy and not taking shit from a “tumblr user”

[gyrovagi]

the stupidest circle of hell is when you're like oh this ship is SO obviously supported by canon surely everyone must talk about it and then you find out the dedicated popular yaoi is some total bullshit

[gyrovagi]

thank you everybody who's ranted in the tags i love hearing about people's haterisms in fandoms i'm not a part of. feed me more

[lollipopsie]

every time wyll's story progresses gale has to come in like "I'm so glad I'm smart enough to have chosen not to be a warlock ☝️". like okay man. one of us has a nuke in his chest and i'm pretty sure it's not mr warlock over there. but the fuck do i know.

[jakemorph]

the only “v” “tubers” i care about are the “root vegetables” i grow in my “vagina”. to all the haters who saw this post early on patreon and told me not to post it: kill yourselves, sincerely this time

[eastgaysian]

its like i always say. all roads lead to wyllstarion. including, perhaps especially, the roads that seem at first glance to lead away

[wyllstarion]

read my 40000+ word wyllstarion fanfiction boy