yeah

Im alex and im out!

[vladtheunfollower]

men be like: why do you have that boundary 🤔🤔 are you feeling okay 😭🙏

[x---pink---x]

also hey im gonna try not to get serious with any of my friends. sometimes i feel like after what happened with my one best friend (long story, tragic and abusive and honestly just messy)  i tend to think about dating anyone i get close with and idk i really need to make important friendships rn but also

me and one of my new old friends have a joke rn that were dating. and its been funny to make public jokes about it because ooooh someone might say something to us lol but like she also sends me personal heart emojis and bitmojis  and its funny idk idk idk. also i said something about her future husband and she responded with “my future partner...” and like does that mean u like girls because you said you were straight?? not that it matters but like??? and i feel like more then once she just grabs my hand and holds it. (but shes the very cutesy adorable friendly type so it really could just be her being nice) anyway like i said thats probably all in my head because i just assume that all friendships are more then that and thats my problem (thats also how i found out i was bi lmao). plus im not in any shape to date anyone right now, i need a therapist tbh but i cant handle that rn lmao. 

(i will however have all the causal sex that i want because hello im human and just because im emotionally empty doesnt mean im sexually empty (anymore))

[x---pink---x]

sort of back to this tumblr now because whatever was bothering me, isnt now (lmao lets just say...crisis probably averted) ^_^ ive been seeing my friends a lot more and hanging out with one of them in particular in person and thats been awesome <3 my other friend who actually reached out to me first tends to video chat me all the time and thats been funny too lmao ^_^ i love these people

[x---pink---x]

so officially officially officially i made a new tumblr where im just going to rant about the very personal things i have going on right now. im all good, no worries! i just wanted a more anonymous/private place to talk about my life ^_^ and wanted to explain why this tumblr would probably be a loooot less active (not that it was super active before but still)

peace out!

[x---pink---x]

Did alex make a mistake? Probably!!!

How big was this mistake?? Tune in next week to find out!!

[x---pink---x]

Turns out alex only probably made a minor mistake but its only Tuesday!

[x---pink---x]

Honestly honestly honestly more then anything else its so important for me to make some friends right now. More important than relationships and more important than panicking about going to college or trade school or whatever (that i cant afford anyway), and family and...ect . Im going to get a job and start building back up what i had with my friend group back in the day and then ill worry about all the things i normally worry about (anxiety problems lmao).

I need people i can ACTUALLY talk to and that support me thats why im deeming it the most important thing rn.

[x---pink---x]

My new friend also started talking about how he wants a best friend he can have kids with. Like buy a big house and everyone moves in and we all take care of the children like some weird commune type situation and honestly im here for that. Everyone plays a part, everyone has love for the cute babies and for each other

While stuff like that makes me nervous he makes a good point, you could have so many people in your kids life that love them and Thats kinda awesome

[x---pink---x]

My new old best friend told me I deserve better and to only be around people who respect me and honestly❤❤ thats so sweet of him hes!!! Right!!! And how that means doing what I want and being pretty much the same person but just changing the people im around maybe or the situations i allow myself to go through.

I missed him a lot❤ we always talked about what was bothering us and tried to give each other the best advice (at 15-18 too dear god). I missed looking out for each other and being happy for each other!! I missed having friends! Im with my people again!!❤

[x---pink---x]

Barely awake for 45 mins and i was crying like a baby and fighting with my sisters and my mom.

[x---pink---x]

Did alex make a mistake? Probably!!!

How big was this mistake?? Tune in next week to find out!!

[awed-frog]

This is both amazing and profoundly irritating - the exact writing equivalent of that thing artists do - you know, how they’ll mess up anything that’s on expensive paper and planned in every single detail but get them doodling during a boring lesson and suddenly they’re Michel-bloody-angelo.

[x---pink---x]

Was panicking about something a few days ago. Dont think i need to panic anymore but who knows, right? Im gonna just not think about it until i have too lmao off to the beach in 5 days

[x---pink---x]

Why would anyone want to date an artist/writer/poet? Being a muse or whatever is not always fun or at least i cant imagine.

I do poetry. And i write about things that are extremely personal and close to me. I literally feel so much anxiety when posting my stuff about people i know irl. Like i made one private account THEN another one. Just in case they ever found anything i wrote about them.

Dont date an artist, they will tell you and the world exactly how they feel about you

[x---pink---x]

Was convinced for 30 seconds that i had appendicitis because my right hip area was in so much pain and i got dizzy out of no where. I love anxiety and i love learning about my body every month. So fun.

[vladtheunfollower]

men be like: why do you have that boundary 🤔🤔 are you feeling okay 😭🙏

[x---pink---x]

Casually asking friends i havent talked to since 2015 medical advice because of course

[x---pink---x]

So like for a year now? Ive been having weird dreams where im pregnant or have a baby(like off and on not ALL the time. Enough for me to notice ) In none of the dreams do i give birth but now after last night ive had two dreams where basically someone lets me know my kid was born.

But i dont understand because…i would be the one..who births…the child(right?)??? So like….why am i getting that call??

I do not understand why i have these dreams so often

[x---pink---x]

Not that im someone who believes this but what (introducing crazy alex, hi) if my dreams are telling me I'm infertile?

Like in one dream im trying to get into this oasis that only pregnant women are allowed in and i sneak over and just hope they dont figure out that im not.

Also The dreams where im never the one to give birth but still end up with a kid.