My Decay

19 - active 2025!! 3d blog

[x-acid-xx]

Introduction

tw - ed / ana

looking for mutuals with my disorder, I FOLLOW BACK ANY ED BLOG!

so im a depressed goth chick with an unhealthy desire to be as small as possible because maybe then ill be finally happy after a life of being bigger then my siblings and friends.

I've been taken down a few times before but ig I'll try again. I write these blogs to try and cope with this fuck ass disorder. I've been scared of food and eating since i was 13 and learned about eating disorders in my school health class.

Your telling me i can look like one of these skinny models if i don't eat?? and i might die??? count me in.

So in other words the American school system failed once again, or maybe I'm just born to be disordered.

Either way I'm here to write about my daily life and struggles with this all.

Stats Below ▽▽▽

height : 5'5 / 165 cm

hw : 150 lbs / 68 kg / bmi 25

cw : 104.4 lbs / 4X kg / bmi 18

gw : 99 lbs / 44 kg / bmi 16.5

ugw : 85 lbs / 38 kg / bmi 14

i don't want to look like this. I think I'll only be happy when my upper body has no fat left to lose.

[dextr00]

[silentomenbunny]

[lightndaintyy]

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i don't know what to do anymore, living is so hard. i wish i had a friend. i wish i had more then just my boyfriend. i dont want to put everything on him. i know he cant handle the weight i carry. ive tried to give it to him before. but its mine. no one else is going to know how to let it crush you just enough to stay passive.

it hurts,

i wish i could share it. i wish i could afford therapy, counseling, anything. i wish i could afford medication. i wish i knew how to get on that path. i wish i knew how to reach out.

i wish i had a mother. i wish i had a father. i dont know how to live. i dont know how to speak. i spent my whole life learning to stay silent. and now im an adult who isnt able to hold small talk with a coworker. how do you make friends. how do you speak. no one will try with me long enough to let me learn to talk to them. please i just want to be your friend. i dont know how to connect with people.

my room is a mess and my body hurts.

my mind is war and i cant find breaks between battles. my thoughts are so loud i cant hear the world outside it. i want to enjoy what little life i have left.

i dont know how

i wish i could talk to someone, i wish i knew how.

[x-acid-xx]

i really want to die

[vntilim4llb0nez]

i love it when my friends see my waist and go "omg i wish i was that sk!nny"

like yeah b!tch ik you do

[x-acid-xx]

stay toxic in my own mind fr

[x-acid-xx]

Oh how I rot

[x-acid-xx]

i really need a warm hug right now

[fsasha32]

love this pic

crazy ate 113 today, burned 134 wtf

[x-acid-xx]

i love when he picks me up like I'm nothing, it's so validating.

[ghoul1sh-girl]

Thinspo that I like

[pearlescent-rocks]

Do you think the monkeys on the bed gave a fuck about what the doctor told them? No. They kept jumping.

Keep going. Lock in twin your gw is near.

[dietcocacolaqueen]

lowk need friends

[sfmonstar]

eye twitching when i see a “low calorie recipe!!” and it’s over 200 calories

[x-acid-xx]

I need to get small enough to wear this in 22 days :')

[x-acid-xx]

why'd i choose to fast when i just got a bunch a groceries. now I can't even eat my low cal food oml..

[skinscals]

IF YOU EVER START SHAKING AND/OR YOUR CHEAST STARTS TO FEEL FUNNY, EAT. EAT EAT EAT EAT!!! YOUR BODY IS FAILING AND IT WILL FAIL ON YOU. YOUR SIZE AND WEIGHT DOESN'T MATTER. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE REGARDLESS OF YOUR SIZE.