xLuba

Book Wyrm Habitat. Slyther-puff. Soft-hearted ball-buster. Devouring books, over analyzing life, just a hurricane of untamed thoughts.

[xandraluba]

You know what one thing that bothers me about being in therapy?

Being happy because of the happiness or success of others isn’t valued as highly as being happy for oneself.

But like, sure I’m content getting through the day to day, but seeing my loved ones succeeding? Being healthy? Getting joy from watching others thrive? That’s the shit.

We had this analogy when we were doing couples counselling a couple years ago, that when he was in survival mode, my partner’s mental health was in the basement. It’s where he goes to isolate and so others don’t have to ‘deal with his moods’ except that he was constantly forgetting that we live in the same house. And he was accidentally leaving traps for me to fall into the basement with him. And when I would find myself down there, I would be looking for him, looking for a light, looking for the stairs.. but he had made the space so cluttered it was impassable.

When my partner was on the cliff of alcoholism and trying to dig himself out of C-PTSD, OSI, and moral burn out, he had created a LABRINTH of that basement. And as much as I tried to remain on the top floor, I still lived with him and checked on him in the basement but I would get lost down there. How could I possibly be happy when my favourite person in the world is so miserable?

It always feels like a cop out now when people ask how I’m doing and I say that I’m great and go on to explain how well my partner is doing. But damn, I’m fucking proud of him. He’s nearly 6 months sober. He’s so much healthier and happier now, how could I NOT be happy??

[mysweetoddbird]

i actually do think too much emphasis is placed on regret rates in the trans community despite said rates being absurdly low. like even if regret rates were at 90% id still support access to gender affirming care because i think people have the right to do whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies. regret is the price you pay for autonomy man get over it.

[djarin]

Wow. So, when? Since our, uh, rookie season. Since your rookie season? No, it's not true. Since before that. Not helpful.

(insp.)

[xandraluba]

New hobby alert! But it’s a slow and steady one.

So a few months ago my therapist challenged me to use my creative side more. I had been complaining about how I’ve got a bit of “trope fatigue” and that some of the books I’ve been reading could have been so much more enjoyable if they did x/y/z differently. So she said “why don’t you start writing for yourself?”

I’ve told her about how journaling has been really helpful in the past (literally had a *pretty little journal to write my messy little thoughts*). We’ve talked about how my wild imagination can be really great, when it’s not fuelling my rampant anxiety but now she’s suggested that when my anxiety is starting to get ahead of me, I should go back to writing a story.

I’ve never actually tried writing anything. But I used to have this thing I did as a kid: I would make *soundtracks* for stories. Sometimes they were my own form of fanfiction, sometimes it was literally matching a song to the vibe in a chapter of a book I was reading. I did it a lot when I was a kid (before the age of smartphones and iPods) and burned CDs for soundtracks, and I started doing it again a few years ago with SJM’s Silver Flames and House of Earth and Blood. It’s weirdly cathartic and makes the experience more immersive.

So over the past few months I’ve actually started brainstorming and building character profiles, general storylines, and writing out specific plot points.. it probably won’t turn into anything more than some pages with random thoughts, but it is absolutely more enjoyable than I thought it would be.

I’m definitely not rushing myself with this one. But every once in a while when I have that spark of inspiration, I’m going to write it down. It’s been fun building characters’ personalities and digging a little deeper than I usually do.

[lamardeuse]

I don't watch the Pitt, but since there are a lot of fans of the show on here I thought I'd mention a local Nova Scotian invention is going to be featured on the next episode! Very cool.

N.S. medical invention making its Hollywood debut

[diversegaminglists]

International Women's Day

Reminder that includes all women.

[studentlifeproblems]

[moon-covey]

[faebirdie]

this is funnier the earlier in march you reblog it it

[ari-shipping-stuff]

✨ it’s march ✨

[f-i-t-z-s-i-m-m-o-n-s-deactivat]

😔 it’s march 😔

[kuhuchan]

Baby it’s March🤡

[xandraluba]

So I’m doing a slow reheat

Every time I have a really bad day I watch the next episode of Heated Rivalry. But I’ve been saving my next episode for when I really need it.

I had finished Scott’s episode and know the best episodes are coming, so I’m saving them but still thinking about them A LOT. How did I not clock the [pretty obvious] parallel between Scott asking Kip to stay, and Ilya asking Shane to stay in the next episode?

Like I know we all realize that Ilya prepared to have Shane over. He stocked his fridge with ginger ale and foods appropriate for Shane’s “macrobiotic diet”. But what about the fact that in the previous episode Scott has this whole monologue about how he’s too intense, and he can’t have what he wants outside of his apartment, so he’s asking Kip to stay in his safe space.

Ilya does the EXACT SAME THING and convinces Shane to *stay*. He does it by teasing/bullying Shane and not communicating well, but let’s give the Bi a break, english is his second language.

[xandraluba]

Brimstone, an utter disappointment.

This was honestly just a 2-star read.

Did I finish it? Yes.

Was the pace good? Mostly, yes.

It just sort of felt like I was reading on autopilot. Suddenly I was at 40%, then 64%, then 86% and I kept thinking “did I miss something?” Nope. There was a lot of political nonsense, a lot of interpersonal conflict, and a WHOLE LOT of shortcuts. Yeah, Saeris still had to do 60% of the work, but she still gets most of the answer from a literal cheat sheet.

But barely anything was explained. How did those runes actually “seal”? What are null blades made of? What is Madra? What is her connection to Belikon? Why can’t he be killed like any other Fae? How did she use the shape of Silver City to create a rune that gives her magic? Why did we immediately start nicknaming him after learning Kingfishers true name? Why not just stick with Kingfisher if you’re going to not use his full proper name? And I thought those names were sacred, rarely used unless during a ceremony? So why is she just freely saying his full name?

So much dumb. So little intrigue.

[pottedfrog]

Getting into The Pitt has been interesting, because on one hand it very much feels like a show that wants to show the importance of good platonic mentorship within medicine, and is fairly light-handed with it's relationships and romances

And then on the other hand they pull the most fanfiction "walked in on my attractive boss shirtless, let me address your gun shot wound, it's our little secret" - stunt I have ever seen with my eyeballs and it's great

[da-pitt]

[cbartonscoffee]

Love how this episode feels like a love letter to nurses. How in the amidst of a series whose overall mission is to recognize and uplift healthcare workers they found the space to shine a light in this particular community who takes the short end of the stick more often than not.

Every nurse got it's moment, a scene to show a different side of the profession and the job they do that doctors don't. Be that Princess supporting that kid's sister when Javadi messes up, Dana and Emma taking care of Louie while everyone else tries to keep moving, Kim knowing exactly what Whitaker will need without him saying his orders or Donnie knowing how to best suture that guy's wound.

And it's also how they all support each other. It's how people keep calling out Donnie's diet or how Princess checks up on Perlah and offers her support. It's in all the little conversations they have between them, their own network running parallel to the doctors'.

I just think it was an amazing thing to show, and an incredible choice to use this episode in particular, given that Louie's death means it'll stay with us.

[xandraluba]

Exactly this. Was “debriefing” with my partner after the episode, as we do, and we realized how this episode was deliberately focused on how crucial the nurses are. We couldn’t tell you a single advancement in any doctor’s storyline, but we knew exactly what happened with the nurses.

Bonus points to Whittaker (I think) who said “Always listen to the nurses, they run the ER, we just try to stay out of their way"

I’m not saying nurses are heroes or geniuses, we just tend to be practical and pattern-minded, and doctors can get set in their ways and predictable.

It’s our job to anticipate what they’ll want to do next, and make sure that it gets done. We’re planning and follow-up. We get shit done, that’s why the nurses are always the ones “running places”.

[mysharona1987]

[depsidase]

[guardian-angle22]

BAD BUNNY performing the Super Bowl LX Halftime Show.

[xandraluba]

He had a very sexy glow up. Anyone else remember the douchey pink hair?

[kosmogrl]

[manwhorewednesdays]

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".