conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 24 (masterpost here)
Damian: oh good, you're finally here.
Tim: yeah usually you're out doing shit like an hour earlier, what were you doing?
Jason: playing tech support for Ra's
Damian: oh god, what did he want now?
Jason: he was trying to figure out how to mute uncle Dusan's number
Dick: isn't Dusan... his son?
Jason: he doesn't like him very much.
Damian: *snickers* ok well now that you're here i can finally do... this!
Damian: as you know, a game has been invented that you're all invested in with varying levels,
Tim: -oh my god it's a fucking league days thing.
Tim: no, no, it's fine. i'm gonna fucking crush this but i need you to know i'm going to hate every second of it.
Jason: why did you have to wait for me to play, i'm literally the only member of the family who can't participate because i already know everything.
Damian: -well if you'd let me fucking EXPLAIN,
Damian: this league days entry is very special, in that Jason didn't write it. i did.
Dick: -you clearly just want to tell us something and are using the game to do it, so we-
Tim: -s obviously going to be true,
Damian: well maybe it is and maybe it isn't, you have to figure that out.
Jason, amused: alright, i'll bite, give me the line.
Damian: *clears throat* 'this morning, i had a very interesting catch-up with my mother, during which i learnt some very important information...'
Jason: that's so- *laugh* that's so vague Day, the fuck did she tell you?
Damian: well Akhi, as you know, my mother and i talk quite often, and equally as often you are the subject of conversation,
Jason: -because i'm cool and you want to be like me-
Damian: -because you piss me off and she and grandfather are the only other two that truly get it. anyway, this morning we happened upon the subject of your resurrection and coming to be at the league.
Jason, audibly confused: okaaay...?
Dick: like- like when he got put in the lazarus pit?
Damian: no no Grayson, before that. you see, when Jason first came back to life it was unaided by any kind of magical assistance. grandfather is still pissed off he doesn't know how he did it.
Jason: yeah i just kinda dug my way out, but i don't remember anything after that. why the fuck is this relevant?
Damian: well i was talking to mother about it, and as it turns out, you were wandering around Gotham in a comatose-state for twenty-eight minutes before a league member found you and took you back to the compound. after mother found out, she had the tech experts go back and scrub all footage of you during this time from the city security cameras. she did however, keep a copy on file. i am now in possession of this footage.
Jason: riiight...? so what- is this just you having footage of me wandering around like a dumb zombie and thinking it looks funny?
Damian, innocent: no no, there's another reason it's interesting. speaking of- Timothy Jackson Drake, you've been quiet for quite a few moments now; do you have anything to put in here...?
Tim: *slowly* i... am not completely sure... why i would be of interest to this conversation.
Damian: well that's not very good sportsmanship is it? Jason, shall i send you the footage?
Jason: what the fuck is going on?
Damian: i am sending it over to you all, if you would like to pull up your screens and take a took,
Jason: why am i watching this- it's just me walking ar-
Dick, laughing slightly: wait. wait.
Tim: ok so i'm actually quite glad that this is coming up in conversation because it's been on my mind for a while-,
Damian: yeah so Drake fully came across Jason in his newly-resurrected state and upon watching him stumble down the street took a photo and then walked away.
Dick: OH, MY, GOD. *cackle*
Dick: *wheezing* HE JUST- HE JUST TAKES A BITE OF HIS HOTDOG AND WATCHES YOU DRUNKENLY WALK INTO A TELEPHONE POLE-
Tim, seriously: i have felt. so unbelievably bad about this for the past three years Jason, you have no idea.
Jason: what the fuck. you knew i was alive? YOU FUCKIN' KNEW BRUCE WAS BATMAN YOU COULD HAVE CALLED HIM!
Dick: *hysterical laughter*
Jason: DICK SHUT THE FUCK UP
Tim: I- I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY YOU-
Jason: W- OH BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS?!
Tim: w- i mean maybe? i thought it could have been a cosplayer? or something?
Jason: A COSPLAYER. COSPLAYING BRUCE WAYNE'S DEAD SON.
Tim: THIS CITY'S FUCKED I DON'T KNOW-!
Jason: NO WHAT'S FUCKED IS YOU TOOK A PHOTO.
Tim: I- I LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY!? I DON'T KNOW- LOOK I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY YOU AT FIRST, AND BY THE TIME I REALISED IT WAS YOU WERE ALREADY BACK AS RED HOOD AND I- I THOUGHT YOU'D BEAT ME UP IF YOU KNEW!
Jason: you.... little bitch.
Jason: i fucking- i knew it,
Jason: i fucking knew you'd been after the Robin gig from the beginning,
Jason: ALL THAT BULLSHIT ABOUT IT NOT BEING YOUR CHOICE, ABOUT IT BEING FOR BATMAN, FOR THE GOOD OF GOTHAM,
Jason: YOU FUCKING LITTLE. BITCH. i cannot believe i told Damian to go easy on you when he first showed up here. i mean you fucking- *slight wheeze* YOU TOOK A PHOTO-?
Jason: YOU ARE A TRAITOR TO THIS FAMILY AND THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU IM SHOOTING YOU IN THE DICK WITH A RUBBER BULLET.
Tim: ARE YOU FUCKING- DAMIAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Damian: *sounding pleased* maybe you shouldn't have eaten the last of the vegan bacon this morning.
Dick: *coughing, gasping for breath* oh my- oh my god i love you all so much, you make me so happy,
Tim: DICK HE'S GOING TO KILL ME-