There was nothing I could do, indifference
Ensnaring wrists like the closing of a circle
When the light bled out of the room
And shimmering particles of dust stirred,
Something like torn, like bullet-hole bleeding and still
Wanting anything to distract, or to numb
So deciding the most irresponsible thing I could do
Was probably the most pragmatic, and at least,
The more interesting option
We’re not thinking about outcomes anymore
So in resisting and delaying, at last
I’m entering the moment in full
After you collapsed me into parts
And teased out each peculiar fragment
I said the stamp had been stripped
At this point I suppose I’ll go along with anything
Like that girl they called peas and chips
Behind the bar, it was my fortress
Drowning out the marauding cries,
I didn’t need to chase the streets to make myself come alive
Enter just to leave a trace
As if in passing I could separate out those particles
And they’d tremor in my wake
Like the ghosts of hands, touching
When we’d spoke about laying on
A folded piece of paper did not lay down the directions
Of how to perturb and exaggerate
Doesn’t toll like the songs
Like the softness of winter footsteps
I’d wanted to merrily tread
Between what was laid open to me
And that which had no consequence
Just a faint bruising beneath
And a smell, like a peach in sun too long
Flies were doing those diagonal dips
As if entrapped in some iambic dance
I’m an entirely ridiculous human being
That the reason I kicked him out was because of his busy hands
Fumbling my magic bag. And not because of all those other
Or because she’d lost my crystal
And I’m not one to be responsible
For writing an ode to one singular, reprehensible being
I suppose I’m addressing the fractured mirror
And how sick I am of mirrors
And the very idea of surface and depth
I can feel the cold beginning to creep in
I’d always struggled to articulate
Something there aren’t the words for, of course
Hammering through every little reality TV box
They were on rotation, and shifting cubically
Islands with no in-between
But I’d always just wanted those in-betweens
As if the gaps manifested their forming
Their coming and departing
And I wanted to be in that stab-wound intensity of it all
The blipping the bleeping and the humming
What are you so afraid of?
If the greatest reassurance became the greatest terror
Spirited on whatever’s churning me up and the familiar fuzz
Slinging hooks through them all
Just to wrench them off again
Because no, curling my tongue and kissing you
Planting softly and those small, strange sounds escaping
Doesn’t even really feel like anything
You act all little and innocent, yeah
But you’re a proper nympho
Are we always just arriving at this point
It’s all so fucking boring
So I swing a punch now and again, because I go by many names
But you won’t call me Judy
Yeh, I’m sure she likes you too
Then I ready myself for that mad laugh
That shatters decibels and reminds me,
I really must dislike myself on a cellular level
Oh yeah she’s racy alright, you seen them shorts? My god, here comes trouble. Double trouble more like, who’s that she’s with fuck me she’s a bit of alrite aint she fu-cking ‘ell girl you’re dangerous
I’m exhuming a corpse right now
Because I’m either vacant
Because I tipped both sides of the scale just through being alive
The very existence of a portal designates what’s here and posits another side
There’s nothing to be afraid of
vaporwave
amandla
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass