If I wanted to look for you
I couldn’t.
The vibrant memories
The touch you left.
I wondered if you wondered.
But then again, I know you don’t.

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If I wanted to look for you
I couldn’t.
The vibrant memories
The touch you left.
I wondered if you wondered.
But then again, I know you don’t.
I still fucking want you…but the reality is you’re no good. I would kill for a moment in your arms, but you don’t even notice that.
Love is an interesting illusion, but I keep reaching for it.
Craving the feelings that I can’t describe from someone who doesn’t even mean it.
Another conquest to mark the board for you.
Guess that’s nothing new.
Things I can’t say.
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I keep avoiding having to deal with personal family matters.
If I don't deal with them, they aren't real.
But another holiday rolls around where I have to feel shitty.
I'm not sure I'm capable of connecting. I'm not sure if it's because the memories create arguments or if maybe I'm being a little difficult.
I always thought there would be time. I thought my dad would still be here and I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Now it's the reality and I'm not sure I'm handling it well. There isn't much time and I have to deal with it because he isn't here to.
I make it seem like nothing riles the surface, but seeing this image makes me feel sick inside.
We are all human and soon we will be in that same position.
So why can't I connect?
I thought I would have connected when I forgave the wind.
I guess that's just a dream.
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