a crease between his brows appeared as she continued with her answer, he knew where this was goingâin tears. between the two of them, he was the cry baby, not her, so he really disliked it when she cried and he hated it even more that the reason behind her tears was her ex-boyfriend, who did nothing good to her even just once.
he honestly regretted asking her that question.
so he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, he opened his mouth to tell her whatever people think of them didnât really matter, but he knew thatâs something she really didnât need to hear; it was a hollow statement, a very empty one; so he shut his mouth close.Â
she cared about what people think about them, and he didnât blame her at all for that. no matter how people proclaim they donât care about anything, they always cared, even just a little part of them. in fact, finn actually cared what other people thought of them because it bothers his girlfriend. peopleâs opinions always bothered him since sometimes it reaches the point that they try to get involved into businesses they shouldnât mind due to the opinions they are pushing onto another person.
a lot of people had opinions about what he and crimson had done, they tried to get so involved with their shit, not knowing that he and crim were real fucking people too. they committed mistakes, hurt a lot of people, involving themselves. there is always going to be collateral damage, the consequences of one action.
âi canât wait for the day where weâd both laugh at the shit we went through just to be together.â he told her with a smile on his face, as he locked their eyes together.
he didnât feel any ounce of surprise when she threw that question his way, it was really a no brainer for finn, âyes.â he had a girlfriend of two years, and two more exes, before crimson, but he never felt anything for them at all. even with mia (the girlfriend of two years), with mia it was because they felt forced to be together since they were the ones left in their friend group who werenât a couple. finn stayed with her because it seemed to be the sensible thing to do. mia was his first everything, first kiss, first girlfriend, and obviously that meant he lost his virginity to her too. he had no idea how to walk away from that even if he wasnât really into her at all.
then crimson cooper came like a fucking comet crashing onto him, leaving a gaping hole the size of a black hole in his world; and everything made sense, things finally felt right even if the means of it were all so wrong. before all thisâthem being together officiallyâit felt like god was making a sick joke on him. he finally felt that connection, that love filled with so much passion and romance, and it was on someone who seemed like wouldnât be his at all.Â
âi really had no idea what falling in love felt like before you,â there were tears in his eyes now, but he blinked them back and he let out a breathy laugh to ease the constriction in his chest. âiâve never even really wrote poetry before you, i only started writing poems and shit when i started feeling shit for you.â he licked his lips and really looked into her eyes, âi thought it was just a joke that it would hurt, falling in love, and god, fuck, it does hurt. falling in love hurts like hell. falling for you hurts a lot.â he chuckled, to play off the seriousness laced with his confession. âbut when i reached your arms, it was all worth it. the hurt eased down, happiness and love surrounded me.âÂ
he cleared his throat, âso yes, crim, yes, youâre my first love and my only love. cheesy i know, but hell, thatâs the truth.â he guided her hand against his chest, where sheâd feel his hear beat the most. âunder my hairy chest, that heart beats for you.â he joked and continued, âand under you, that dick throbs only for you.â he laughed and he leaned in to peck her lips, âyou got that, cooper?âÂ
one of the many reasons why she loved finn was his ability to make her sour mood disappear in a matter of mere seconds, right now was no exception as she laughed at his jokes before nodding as an answer to his question. before finn, the concept of being in love and having a companion who understands you blindly was way out of reach to her, but sitting on top of him and looking into his blue eyes, she knew she finally had that one person in her life and that she needed no one else.
running a hand through his dark hair, she pushed it back so she could see his beautiful face, the thoughts in her mind running rapidly. âiâm sorry,â she blurt out unexpectedly. the flashbacks of finn going through literal hell because of her inability to break up with aj, her ex, had stuck with her throughout their relationship and she knew she hurt finn during those times. those were the darkest times and the only light she had was finn, her finn, even though he was hardly hers at the time.Â
âi hurt you, i know. the way we got together was something youâre not comfortable with and neither am i. us going to a motel every sunday after church hurt you, i hurt you. us making out secretly, behind everyone's back, hurt you. us fighting over that jackass hurt you. us fighting over your freak of an ex hurt you. us âbreaking upâ during those times hurt you. us making eachother jealous hurt you,â she rambled on, almost as if she was reminding herself how much pain sheâd caused finn.
crimson was able to handle all the scrutiny that fell upon her but having to hear people attack finn made her blood boil. he wasnât innocent in the scheme but in a way, he was. deep down crimson knew she seduced him and put him in this difficult position, it was all her fault and she knew she had to live with it. she also didnât blame his friends' girlfriends for siding with mia throughout the whole ordeal; sheâd messed up and would have to face the consequences.Â
it was very rare to see crimson opening up about her mistakes, however, she wrapped her arms around finns neck and repositioned herself so she was straddling him again, for once wanting him to open up about how much sheâd hurt him. silence took over the dark room and for a few seconds, all you could hear was the tv in the background. looking down at the promise ring on his hand, her eyes trailed their way back to his and she smiled the softest smile only he had the luxury of ever seeing.Â
âthe first time we went to church together, i made a promise to god that iâd never lose you. weâve committed a huge sin but it was for something we both wanted; love. finngean james abrams, i promise on my life, iâm never going to leave you. even when youâre playing those stupid video games, or when youâre too tired to have sex, or when you tell me youâre using a condom, or when you get mad at me for being jealous, or when you get mad at me for ruining your car. iâll be here.â without a second thought she leaned in and pressed her lips against his, kissing him passionately.Â