his soft lips against hers sent a cool shiver up her spine as he effortlessly flipped them over, her body straddling his while her hand held the back of his neck, guiding him against her mouth. the frown on her face was a result of him pulling away from her causing the feeling between her hips to pause at his question. usually, she’d reply with a quick no but looking into his eyes, crimson knew he deserved a good explanation.
“no,” she started off, finally sitting down between his legs and grabbing a hold of his hands, “being with you made me realize how toxic that relationship was. i loved the idea of it all; dating someone popular and becoming the it couple.” tears threatened to fall but crimson blinked them away, not wanting to cry over him. there were only two things she’d cry over; her parents and finn. “he made it seem like everything was my fault, all the fights. everyone thought i was the psycho. i lost many friends cause i kept chasing that idiot, that’s why i hardly have friends.”
crimson tried to smile but failed, instead, she looked down at their intertwined hands. “he fucked my life up. that entire year i focused only on him, that’s also why i get so excited when anyone shows any interest in me, it’s cause i’m not used to it. i know you hate it when others flirt with me but finn, i swear, i wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. i’m just not used to people hitting on me.”
once the first tear fell, crimson couldn’t hold them back anymore and she broke down in front of finn, a rare occurrence. “the fucked up thing is that i don’t even feel guilty for cheating. i just wish people knew that he was an asshole, maybe then i wouldn’t be the slut that cheated.” she wiped away the few tears and let out a quiet giggle.
“i got you though and that’s all i need. you make me happy,” she smiled genuinely and leaned in to kiss him passionately. finn knew all about her history with her ex however crimson wanted him to know that he was her real first love, not him. “you’re my first love. the one i’m scared of losing. the one i’ll gladly marry before graduation.”
finn had no reason to feel threatened, he was the one for her. although they’re a product of infedilitey, crimson considered cheating a big sin, still she gave up her morals to be with him because she was in love. his private and secluded demeanor drew her in and made her fall in love. “am i your first love?” it was a question she knew she probably won’t like the answer to but still, she wanted to hear it. her brown eyes locked on his blue ones this time.
a crease between his brows appeared as she continued with her answer, he knew where this was going—in tears. between the two of them, he was the cry baby, not her, so he really disliked it when she cried and he hated it even more that the reason behind her tears was her ex-boyfriend, who did nothing good to her even just once.
he honestly regretted asking her that question.
so he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, he opened his mouth to tell her whatever people think of them didn’t really matter, but he knew that’s something she really didn’t need to hear; it was a hollow statement, a very empty one; so he shut his mouth close.
she cared about what people think about them, and he didn’t blame her at all for that. no matter how people proclaim they don’t care about anything, they always cared, even just a little part of them. in fact, finn actually cared what other people thought of them because it bothers his girlfriend. people’s opinions always bothered him since sometimes it reaches the point that they try to get involved into businesses they shouldn’t mind due to the opinions they are pushing onto another person.
a lot of people had opinions about what he and crimson had done, they tried to get so involved with their shit, not knowing that he and crim were real fucking people too. they committed mistakes, hurt a lot of people, involving themselves. there is always going to be collateral damage, the consequences of one action.
“i can’t wait for the day where we’d both laugh at the shit we went through just to be together.” he told her with a smile on his face, as he locked their eyes together.
he didn’t feel any ounce of surprise when she threw that question his way, it was really a no brainer for finn, “yes.” he had a girlfriend of two years, and two more exes, before crimson, but he never felt anything for them at all. even with mia (the girlfriend of two years), with mia it was because they felt forced to be together since they were the ones left in their friend group who weren’t a couple. finn stayed with her because it seemed to be the sensible thing to do. mia was his first everything, first kiss, first girlfriend, and obviously that meant he lost his virginity to her too. he had no idea how to walk away from that even if he wasn’t really into her at all.
then crimson cooper came like a fucking comet crashing onto him, leaving a gaping hole the size of a black hole in his world; and everything made sense, things finally felt right even if the means of it were all so wrong. before all this—them being together officially—it felt like god was making a sick joke on him. he finally felt that connection, that love filled with so much passion and romance, and it was on someone who seemed like wouldn’t be his at all.
“i really had no idea what falling in love felt like before you,” there were tears in his eyes now, but he blinked them back and he let out a breathy laugh to ease the constriction in his chest. “i’ve never even really wrote poetry before you, i only started writing poems and shit when i started feeling shit for you.” he licked his lips and really looked into her eyes, “i thought it was just a joke that it would hurt, falling in love, and god, fuck, it does hurt. falling in love hurts like hell. falling for you hurts a lot.” he chuckled, to play off the seriousness laced with his confession. “but when i reached your arms, it was all worth it. the hurt eased down, happiness and love surrounded me.”
he cleared his throat, “so yes, crim, yes, you’re my first love and my only love. cheesy i know, but hell, that’s the truth.” he guided her hand against his chest, where she’d feel his hear beat the most. “under my hairy chest, that heart beats for you.” he joked and continued, “and under you, that dick throbs only for you.” he laughed and he leaned in to peck her lips, “you got that, cooper?”