Half a bedbug

Xen. A good birb. Procrastinator extraordinaire, posessor of ever-changing hyperfixations. Filling the Ivanhoe tag with new content is my life’s goal.

[anarchopuppy]

call it what u will, identifying with an animal is one of the most ancient and universal human experiences. the oldest known depiction of a human has a lions head. i am being dead serious when i say there are few things in this world more normal than being a furry

[1ilium-candidum]

Morning Fog, 1909 - oil on canvas. ― Józef Rapacki (Polish, 1871-1929)

[starlightomatic]

hey. why do we blame people for having low self-esteem. why do we assume people just woke up one day and decided to hate themselves and not that they were taught to hate themselves by peers, parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures

[starlightomatic]

maybe "uwu i love myself" will not be enough in a world that still teaches people to hate themselves. maybe we start there?

[starlightomatic]

if i'm told that i'm lazy, ugly, unattractive, slovenly, and wasteful because i'm fat. if i'm told that i'm lazy, inconsiderate, rude, slovenly, and gross because i have adhd. if i'm told that i'm rude, cold, and immature because i'm autistic.

then i might start to believe i'm lazy, ugly, unattractive, slovenly, wasteful, inconsiderate, rude, gross, cold and immature!!!!

giving myself affirmations in the mirror won't be effective and won't be enough. why should i believe myself over the world? it's not convincing. and even if i do succeed in convincing myself, i'll be subjected to the barrage again as soon as i step out the door.

we need to stop situating the issue in whether i'm giving myself affirmations in the mirror, and situate it in the ableism, fatphobia, etc that i and so many others are subjected to.

[starlightomatic]

and "go to therapy" is also not sufficient because it still does not remove that messaging, and also, it often perpetuates it!! come late or miss sessions because of adhd and depression? you're slapped with lazy, inconsiderate, and rude all over again. not even a net positive for self-esteem!

[starlightomatic]

and like yes, putting effort into rejecting these narratives is good and worthwhile. but humans are social creatures and are wired to care about what others think of them, and that's not a personal failing.

[futurefishy]

Omg thank you for articulating this! another reason why "go to therapy" doesn't help in my experience is that (at least in the UK) "go to therapy" gets you CBT. a therapy entirely focused on the idea that your thoughts are irrational/unhelpful and that challenging and changing them will fix the problem.

But my thoughts about myself did not appear out of fucking nowhere! a lot of the thought challenging in CBT is based on looking for evidence for the thought, with the presumption that negative thoughts are irrational, so you won't find any. BUT I HAVE A SHIT TONNE OF EVIDENCE! THATS WHY I HAVE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES! I have a lifetime of evidence of my peers calling me ugly and unlovable for being fat. I have a lifetime of evidence of peers thinking i'm weird and off-putting and unlovable for being autistic. Being persistently bullied in every education environment i've ever been in, and at my first job, and in every club I've ever been part of is a lot of fucking evidence. And no amount of "I love myself uwu" will counteract that I am constantly told by the world that I shouldn't.

I have a psychology degree, and in the course of that, we addressed the influence of systemic oppression on therapy all of once. It was an off-hand "well if someone is in financial trouble, stress management exercises probably won't fix it" like yeah, no shit.

It's not irrational for me to take what I've been constantly told about myself to heart. It's fucked up that people think that way, but at a certain point it's hard to convince myself that everyone else is wrong and I'm right. CBT makes me feel like I'm being fucking gaslit.

Fun fact I learnt the other day: experiencing peer rejection (like bullying) makes your brain respond more negatively to rejection in the future. It literally, physiologically starts to hurt more. The paper I was reading didn't make this connection, but that implies to me that RSD/rejection sensitivity is not just an inherent part of ADHD and autism, its a result of persistent social and societal rejection. Something something we don't know what autism/ADHD looks like without trauma.

[starlightomatic]

yes, thank you for this. i can't meet the expectations of functionality other people have of me, so trying to convince myself that i can won't work because it's clear i can't. instead i need to frame it as "my worth is not defined by my functionality." but this would be a lot easier if the people around me didn't get nasty to me when i can't meet their expectations. also if i was allowed to use autism and adhd as reasons instead of just thinking "i didn't get this done because i suck."

[3liza]

watched some video about a shitty kid yesterday and caught myself thinking "my god the kids these days are out of control" and praise the Lord I immediately reflexively scolded myself like "you were exactly this stupid when you were 13, stupider probably, here's a memory of you doing and saying something so completely terrible because you were a kid and kids don't know better" you cannot let up your vigilance even for a moment, you must constantly fight against age related conservatism and never stop internally interrogating your reactions

[arnaerr]

I can't stop making chickens

[stuckinapril]

Daily affirmations

[teddy-stonehill]

I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.

[teddy-stonehill]

[elodieunderglass]

I can confirm that most birds have a detectable amount of wiring behind the eyes - blinking lights and buttons and sliders and frizzy things that spark and chirp and beep. They also have a lot of soul that can communicate with ours because the programming is fairly compatible. Vultures are clever and curious, swans are clear and lawful, chickens have a lot of personality, caged parrots are dissociated and disinherited and frankly worrying, falconry-trained birds of prey are tremendously businesslike.

And owls are absolutely lovely beasts with their own irreplaceable validity. but they are basically stuffed with polyester fiberfill. They have one button, like a child's toy dinosaur that opens and closes its mouth when you press the back of its head. And it isn't even a sophisticated electronic button it's just a lever that rocks back and forth to make the claws open and close. I think they may have actually evolved independently from sponges. Their skulls simply exist to create holes that funnel sound and light, and as a place to hang a giant hinged beak. An owl is just an empty tube like a windchime that the wind whistles through, and you can drop meat down it. They use the meat to generate feathers, and then emit the bones in pressed little packages like those machines that flatten a penny and stamp it with the logo of a theme park. I think that's the gist of it - most birds are electronics of varying levels of sophistication, but owls are just a system of levers and pulleys. No elevator music in those skulls, just the wind echoing through empty caverns of slightly irritating design. Absolutely fantastic.

[tanuki-kimono]

Colorful pidgeons fluttering among cherry blossoms kimono (that purple ground is so pretty!), paired with a matching obi in more pastel tones.

[tanuki-kimono]

Adorable antique outfit, pairing a lovely mokuren (magnolia) kimono, with an obi depicting a plump niwatori (chicken) on the back, and cute hina (chick) upfront.

[hortensius-deactivated20240909]

this animal

[depsidase]

[kardds-arts]

i love this picture so much i drew it too

[they-bite]

emperor palpatine is so fucking cringe dude he doesn’t even have a court jester

[they-bite]

besides vader

[a-simple-moisture-farmer]

how could you leave this in the tags

[birdblues]

Variable Sunbird

[tanuki-kimono]

Most formal outfits for upper ranks samurai - Sokutai and Ikan formal court dress

(as worn by upper-ranked samurai of the Edo period - great charts by Nadeshico Rin). You can find more about samurai ranks and their regulated attires under the tag "samurai kimono".

The Sokutai

束帯 Sokutai is the most formal attire worn by Edo period samurai of the 4th rank and above.

It first appeared during Heian era as a ceremonial court dress worn by 公卿 kuge (nobility/Imperial court) and 殿上人tenjôbito (courtiers/court official​s). Usage was kept well into Edo period by both the Imperial court and the Tokugawa shogunate.

The intricated garb includes:

冠 Kanmuri - hat, with distinctive 垂纓 suiei "tail" hanging in the back. Materials could include silk, lacquer or horsehair and were strickly regulated

袍 Hô - a round-necked robe with large boxy sleeves. Colors and patterns were strickly regulated.

Shown here is a pattern used by the Shôgun, the 葵に丁子唐草 Aoi ni chôji karakusa (cloves with arabesques, and hollyhock leaves - which is the Tokugawa crest)

笏 Shaku - flat ritual sceptre

平緒 Hirao - a wide flat braid wrapped around the body with ties left hanging up front. Colors and weaves were strickly regulated

(飾)太刀 (Kazari)-Tachi - (mock) long sword for ceremonial use

表袴 Ue-no-bakama (or omote-bakama) - white overpants, shorter hakama pants worn over the aka-ôkuchi

赤大口(袴) Aka-ôkuchi(bakama) - red underpants, a tad longer than the overpants

下襲(の裾) Shitagasane(no-kyo) - visible train part of an inner robe worn under the 袍 hô. During Edo period, train lenght got up to 1丈 (around 3 meters/10 feet).

襪 Shitôzu - a type of ancient socks (construction is different than tabi - they don't have a sole for ex.)

石帯 Sekitai - leather belt used in ceremonial court dress, covered in black lacquer, and decorated with stones and jewels

The Ikan

衣冠 Ikan - while still very formal and worn by Edo period samurai of the 4th rank and above, ikan looked much more simpler than sokutai.

First used for nightime duties (夜間宿直) in Heian era, it gradually came to be worm during daytime too. From Muromachi period and onwards, it had become the work uniform of the Imperial court.

Like sokutai, it uses the hô+kanmuri, and wearers were allowed to carry kazari-tachi. Yet, note how the pants differ from sokutai ones: those are large bouffant pants called 指貫 sashinuki (or 奴袴 nubakama).

You can also note that wearer here is not holding a shaku scepter: it's a folded 檜扇 hiôgi (formal folding fan made of cypress also of Heian history. Those were unpatterned as painted ones were for women).

[tanuki-kimono]

Samurai's ranks and dress code in Late Edo period

AMAZING reference chart put together by Nadeshico Rin, showing the different attires worn by the men of the buke class in and about Edo Castle. OP stresses the chart is by no means exhaustive - but it helps picturing things SO MUCH!

For easier reading, I have adapted the chart with english translation. Rin has also created illustrations detailing each attire, I'll translate those in coming days under the tag "samurai kimono".

You'll find the transliteration below cut:

The court ranks - Mibun 身分 or Ikai (位階)

Find more about the exact titles here.

一位 Ichii (First court rank)

三位 Sanmi (Third court rank) and 四位 Shii (Fourth court rank)

Goi 五位 (Fifth court rank​)

Omemie ijô 御目見 以上, the "upper" vassals allowed to request audience with the shogun

Omemie ika 御目見 以下, the "lesser" vassals (not allowed to request audience with the shogun)

Rin does not mention the second court rank (二位 Nii) so I am not sure where this one is supposed to go ^^;

The clan/families - Kamei 家名

徳川将軍家 Tokugawa shôgunke (Tokugawa Shogun clan)

尾張徳川家 Owari Tokugawake (Owari Tokugawa clan), 紀伊徳川家 Kii Tokugawake (Kii Tokugawa clan), 水戸徳川家 Mito Tokugawake (Mito Tokugawa clan), 徳川御三卿 Tokugawa gosankyo (Secondary Tokugawa branch clans: Tayasu, Shimizu, and Hitotsubashi)

三奉行 Sanbugyô, & 下三奉行 Shimosan bugyô (magistrates, governors)

旗本 Hatamoto (general term for upper-rank vassals of the Tokugawa)

御家人 Gokenin (general term for lower-rank vassals of the Tokugawa)

Outfits TPO (Time, Place, Occasion)

第一礼服 (大礼 など) Daiichi raifuku (tairei nado) - Most formal outfit worn during State/important ceremonies, etc.

礼服 (正月など) Raifuku (Shogatsu nado) - Formal outfit, worn for events like New Year, etc.

通常礼服 (節句など) Tsûjô raifuku (sekku nado) - Regular formal outfit, worn during seasonal festivals, etc.

平服 Heifuku - Everyday outfit

Type of outfits

Rin has released separated charts detailing the different costumes. You'll find them translated here in coming days.

束帯 Sokutai - old ceremonial court dress, first worn by Heian nobility. Attire includes the 笏 shaku (flat ritual sceptre), and 冠 kanmuri hat.

衣冠 Ikan - old ceremonial court dress, much more simpler than sokutai

布衣 Hoi - "plain" 狩衣 kariginu (which were informal clothes worn by the nobility from the Heian period and onwards)

素襖 Suô - ceremonial dress of the lower-ranked samurai

直垂 Hitatare - ceremonial court robe​

狩衣 Kariginu - patterned kariginu (informal clothes worn by the nobility from the Heian period and onwards)

大紋 Daimon - 直垂 hitatare with large family crests

直衣 Nôshi - everyday robes which were first worn by males of the imperial family during Heian era, and then spread among nobility, etc.

長上下 Naga Kamishimo - outfit pairing a sleeveless ceremonial robe called 肩衣 kataginu, with trailing pants called 長袴 nagabakama

半上下 Han Kamishimo - outfit pairing a sleeveless ceremonial robe called 肩衣 kataginu, with ankle lenght pants called 半袴 hanbakama

[expressions-of-nature]

by Devill Photography

[fellowshipofthenoodles]

Tolkien is having his first ever egg. It’s. Not going well.

[fellowshipofthenoodles]

TOLKIEN IS A SNAKE. HES MY SNAKE. MY PET SNAKE. AUTHOR JOLKIEN ROLKIEN ROLKIEN TOLKIEN IS NOT BIRTHING AN EGG