She didn’t want to be treated as the victim, and so, L would not do such a thing. But the poor detective was finding it difficult to know how to react. Her biggest concern seemed to be not wanting to upset him, but his biggest concern was her wellbeing. He shouldn’t be a focal point in this messed up situation at all.
“Don’t worry about me, Near. What I think right now isn’t important” he insisted. Would she believe him? Who knows. There was no point in telling her that she shouldn’t hold in whatever she was feeling; for a start, it was hypocritical of him, but not only that, he knew she would continue to do so anyway. He could read it on her face. She was determined not to let this messed up turn of events be the be all and end all of her life. For that, he admired her, but at the same time he was concerned for her. While she insisted now that she would be alright, how far down the line would it be before an inevitable break down? L didn’t know Near well enough to know whether or not she would suffer such a thing, but it had happened to so many others when trying to deal with trauma.
Hearing about what the boy did to her made his fists clench, and while he had an overwhelming urge to embrace her at that moment, he held back. He merely placed a hand gently on her shoulder and shook his head. He didn’t know what else he could say. He could tell her he would be there for her, but what advice could he give? Not only that, but he didn’t want her to think he was pitying her. Far from it. He just wanted to make sure she was alright.
“And you still don’t wish to name names?” he asked, gently. “I just need to be sure, that’s all”
L couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t say, but then, he had never experienced anything like that, so of course he wouldn’t understand.
“If I tell you the names, you will go after them. While I believe in justice, I am scared they will do this again. L, I am not sure I can face those who hurt me after this. I am not as strong as others, and if they do not get punished they may hurt me once more, or even worse next time.” Near slowly twirled a curl around her small finger.
L was a kind man, a strong detective and Near admired that dearly. How lucky was she to know such a man who stood in the name of justice. For so long she dealt with many issues, but she wanted to try to be like him, or even better. If she could live in his name that would be an honor. Generally, Near was smart, intelligent beyond her years, but physically she was mainly disabled. With that being said, she was scared of the others hurting her. That was terrifying. Near blinked a few times, before resting her forehead against his shoulder. Near felt as if she was blessed to know this man, and she truly was. Whispering against him, she felt her own breath touch her own face because it bounced off him. “I really hope you know I appreciate your help.” Sincerity was true and strong in her voice.
Swallowing a harsh lump in her throat, she closed her eyes, hoping this would be the right thing to do. “If you must know my assailants, I can tell you, but I am worried about the consequences.” Her voice shook softly because she was scared, terrified. Those boys didn’t do the worst to her, plus Near recalled their threats. L wouldn’t let her hurt though, so Near hoped. She opened her eyes and inhaled slowly. His shirt smelled good, and it brought her comfort. Everything was bringing her to a new point of uncertainty. L would handle this, she was sure of that. Softened gray hues were focused before her and she lifted her head. Near felt eye contact was crucial now. Slowly, she tilted her head, fingers went to trace his lips and then around the corners of his eyes where they creased.