Good jokes and stellar blowjobs.

Maika Dillon Monroe 25. Actress. Kiteboarder.

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What’s your biggest insecurity?

Wow. We’re really going there. Not being good enough. And I mean that in every sense it could possibly mean: at work, for my family, relationship-wise. It’s a pain in the ass.

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stefgaga·:

You’re beyond welcome! I watch a lot of horror (and wonder why I’m an insomniac) and I’ve really never seen anything else like it.

I completely understand. Horror’s super entertaining and fun to watch, but then it has that ability to keep you up an extra few hours questioning every little sound. I personally love the fact that at the end of the day, we’re running from a sex demon, but the movie makes it so much more. It's kinda funny. 

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Don’t tell me lies, who's the last person you talked to and do you think they are attractive?

Is this like talked to in person or just in general so texting counts? I’m really lame so @joekcery was the last person I talked to in person. He’s okay, I guess. Not my type. Last person I texted was my cousin ‘cause she’s coming to visit so I needed to confirm when I had to get my ass to the airport to pick her up. And, I mean, she’s pretty but she’s also my cousin so… 

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stefgaga replied to your post: Did you get any nightmares from filming It Follows...

It was an amazing film!

Thank you so much! That’s super sweet of you. I’m glad you liked it. 

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Did you get any nightmares from filming It Follows or was it easy to disconnect as an actress?

I didn’t, no. I’d always been a fan of the genre so that kind of thing doesn’t scare me too much. Plus it’s a lot different to experience as an actor step by step than it is to watch it as a full movie. When you see how everything is done, it makes it a little less scary.

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dayaxxcole·:

If anyone wants a black miniature schnauzer named Noon, you can have him. He literally hates me. Today he wouldn’t acknowledge my presence until I used his full name. I’m totally kidding, but having someone around who might actually care about me would be nice. I like to think I’m the best dog mom ever, he’s just a sassy little boy. Anyway, how is everyone else doing today? @hwlandstart

Don’t even trick me like that because I’m always down to steal any and all dogs. My goal in life is to just live on a giant piece of property with a shit ton of dogs. You can be the second best dog mom ever because I have to put myself as the best. I’m pretty great. Nothing’s gone too crazy or annoyed me so I’d call that a good day. How are you aside from the whole Noon debacle? 

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hqmorley·:

I was recently listening to this podcast and they were talking about a book where the author wrote her “yes” list. A yes list is a list of things you will always say “yes” to, and it got me thinking. What would be on mine? Some examples she provided were: more sleep, extra fries, peppermint tea, etc. I think I would always say yes to..being a big spoon during a nap, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, petting dogs, and kicking the football around in the backyard. What would be on your yes list? @hollywoodland-hqs

That’s actually really interesting. Do you remember what podcast it was? I feel like everyone’s yes list has to include more sleep and extra fries. I mean, who actually says no to either of those things? Mine would probably be terrible movie nights with my boyfriend, Chinese food, dog cuddles, and a trip to the beach. If I could have all of those things in one day, I could die happily. 

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brieslarson-x·:

This press tour I feel like has been drowning the life out of me. I still get confused over what I can and cannot say when I get asked questions, what was on Captain Marvel and what is on this movie… I’m even afraid to say the name, it’s like my very own Voldemort, I can’t get bipped by the Marvel snipers! Hi, my name is Brie, and I’m permanently exhausted, but a very happy camper. How’s your day going? @hollywoodland-hqs

It must be really difficult being a part of a movie series or tv show. You never know what part is fair game and what should be kept a secret. I don’t know how you do it. Please stay safe and clear from the Marvel snipers! I’d cry. I feel like the permanently exhausted, but a very happy camper vibe pretty much describes my life as well. My day’s been pretty good. Not too entertaining, but chill so I like that. 

[hollywoodland-hqs]

Honesty Hour!

Send me an anonymous question and I have to answer honestly, no matter how embarrassing!

Please remember: You have to send out to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who reblogs. If you reblog on multiple characters, you have to send an ask from each of your characters who reblogs to each person. (Don’t reblog the meme if you cannot send outright away.)

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↳ INSTAGRAM: @maikamonroe​ uploaded a new photo:

On this day, 27 years ago, the reason I have neck problems was born! 💁🏼💛 @uncle_jezzy (@joekcery)

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thatspaulson·:

So with the next season on American Horror Story being called AHS: 1984, and paying homage to the 80s slasher movies (I still can’t confirm if I am in it or not ) It got me thinking what classic horror cliche character would you be? The main girl who survives to the end? The boyfriend who dies after almost getting to second base? The killer? The mom who doesn’t believe anything is going on? I am also curious on who you think I would be.

@hollywoodland-hqs

If you aren’t in it, I’ll probably cry. AHS wouldn’t be AHS without you. The Final Girl cliche is very close to my heart, so I’d like to say that’s who I’d end up being in real life. Though I also think I would be that dumbass that talks back to the killer and winds up being killed automatically. I’m a mix of both. You definitely seem like final girl material. You could kick ass and you have the brains to outsmart the killer. 

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kennykjennerx·:

I can’t believe Coachella is already over again and part of me really isn’t willing to go back to normal weekends, let alone a normal week again. I dont know how to wear more than a bikini, or be anywhere but approximately 500 meters away from a pool right now. Does anyone feel like continuing the Coachella experience with me? 

I didn’t attend Coachella at all this year so I’m definitely willing to continue the experience with you. Obviously it won’t be the real one, but I’m sure you could make a Coachella away from Coachella work perfectly. Plus not wearing more than a bikini and being close to a pool is basically my dream life. 

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joekcery·:

You do not. It would never be super important to call Uber, really. Right? Such a supportive boyfriend.

Damn. You can’t just let me take the credit. I think if the driver was doing something fucked up or illegal, it’d probably be super important to call Uber. See, at first I was offering the award but now you don’t get that award anymore because you’re not giving me all of the credit. You lose. 

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ffszef·:

We sure do! I’m hoping in my next life I get to be a pilot, because that would be so awesome. Oh man, maybe I should be a total jackass instead. What do jackasses do? Use the word bitch all the time? Talk shit about your boyfriend in front of you?

You know, you could still become a pilot in this life. That one you don’t actually have to wait for. You shouldn’t become a jackass. Though that pretty much seems like what jackasses do. You should be fully prepared for my inner jackass to come out in response. You wanna fight, Efron? We can take it outside. 

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Texts 📲 Grant

Grant: Sorry, sorry. Took a bit of a detour. Things have happened in the past few days and I needed to clear my head. I'm making my way there soon enough.

Maika: What's going on?? You okay?

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richiemadden·:

McDonalds? Im ashamed for you.

Did I not just say good food? Come on. McDonalds is only delicious when you’re drunk. 

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queenxofxroses·:

We can totally promote that together. I know some things they dont need to know.

I appreciate your support in my world holiday mission. Honestly. I think my parents would think I was going crazy if I started confiding in them in anything too personal.