HARDEST OF HEARTS ;

❝ face it, tiger. you just hit the jackpot. ❞ independent MARY JANE WATSON roleplay blog. 616 (adaptive); mainly mcu based. multiverse. mun & muse, 18+. oc/crossover friendly! SELECTIVE. tagging #xmjwatson. fc: mary kate wiles.

[xmjwatson-blog]

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                                              He’s not sure what to think anymore, the shock of                           the confession was beginning to make him feel                           numb. “You’re not supposed to know — no one is.                           Especially   not   you.”   Peter’s   words   are   quiet,                           confused little whispers to himself rather than to her.                           Of course he doesn’t mean it in a ‘I can’t trust you with                           this information’ way; she’d be the one to trust of anyone.                           But, with her aware of his alter ego, it made it so much                           harder to protect her — if she was anything like Gwen,                           she’d try to ‘help’ him, get in the middle of it.                              From the way she speaks, though, it sounds like she’s                            been carrying his secret with her for longer than he’d think                            possible. And she didn’t say anything, didn’t try to bring it                            up until now, didn’t even press questions against the bruises                            and cuts she’d run her fingers across when they lay in bed                            together at night. Maybe she was capable of continuing to                            stay out of his way, let him do his own thing, as long as he                            just… didn’t lie anymore.                                                Or maybe his mind was just trying to make                                               it seem okay to want to still be with her.                               ”… you… saw me? When?” Brown eyes flick up from staring                             into his lap quickly to stare into green ones. “… you’ve known                             the whole time?”

[xmjwatson-blog]

       ❝ I know.  Which  is  why  I  didn't  say  anything, genius, ❞        she  says  and  her  tone  is light, almost mocking in a way        that  she  makes  endearing.  She rests a hand against his        cheek  still, thumb caressing  gently  as  she  tries  to  calm        him.   When   he   looks   at   her   --  brown  eyes  wide  with        genuine  surprise  --  her green ones roll and she even has        the gall to laugh. Unable to resist, she kisses him. 

                  ❝ You're so dumb, ❞ she tells him, parting away and shaking                   her  head ( making  their  foreheads graze against each other ).                   Mary Jane knows what he's considering -- maybe he's trying to                   decide if he can actually  trust  her.  Maybe he's trying to think of                   some  convoluted  way  to  lie  to  her  "for  her  own protection".                   Maybe  he's  considering  her  temper and maybe he  wasn't so                   sure  if  someone  like  her  could  be  trusted  with  a  secret so                   sacred. ❝ Duh,  Pete.  Of  course I did. I was here about a week                   before you decided to flash one of my videos with your sneaking                   back into your room. I avoided you back then just as much, tiger. ❞

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                          This is surreal. Surreal in a way that makes his                           heart sink in his chest in a panic that he hadn’t                           ever wished to feel again. It’s stemmed from the                           fact that now that she knows, she might try and                           get in the middle of it, and he can’t have that. He                           can’t lose the woman he came to love when he                           was sure he’d never let himself experience it                           again. She was the one to piece together the                           remains of his shattered heart.                                        He wasn’t sure if he could take another fall.                             It’s like he’s drowning in his own barrage of                            thoughts. Peter leans against the soft touch of                            her hands despite his mind telling him to get up                            and leave her while he still could. But there’s a                            part of him, the part of him that’s allowing himself                            to slump against her, that’s almost relieved. How                            much easier would it be for them knowing that she                            knew almost everything about him? He hadn’t                            allowed this kind of solidarity in… god knows how                            long. And, boy, did he need it.                            When he finally speaks his voice comes out cracked                            and weak, “h - how long.. how long did you know?” 

[xmjwatson-blog]

       Her own breathing  is steady. The rage has dissipated        and  the  spark  of anger is exactly what she needed to        quell   the   flames.   Mary   Jane  now  with  still  hands        steadied  his  shoulders.  It  was  a  shock for him, she        knew,  and  she  gave  him  room  to breathe it in. From        what  he'd  just  said  ---- Gwen knew too and it doesn't        take  an  Oxford  scholar  to  put  the  pieces together to        know the added weight of guilt it gave him.

                 It was one thing to be Spider-man, she supposed, and have                  his  girlfriend  die  at  the hands of a villain he'd been fighting                  but   for   her  to  have  known?  The  responsibility  becomes                  ubiquitous now and the weight levels her quick temper.

             ❝ Oh,  come  on,  tiger.  Did  you really think our aunts would               have had to go through  all  that  if I knew there was a boy my               age next door? I've  known  since I got here, Petey. Sort of. ❞               Her  voice  is  gentler  now,  the  tone  mothers  might use for               lullabies.  ❝ Your  room  was  right  across  from  mine.  You                weren't exactly sneaky when you snuck back in your house. ❞

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                                     There’s a point when she’s yelling and accusing                                      him that he almost just wants to shut himself off.                                      Just for a bit, until they’ve both calmed down and                                      weren’t so hell-bent on using words as weapons                                      to wound each other with.                                       Paper thin walls and cranky neighbors to boot make                                      him uneasy as she continues on. He’s got nothing                                      more to say now — he doesn’t dare. If there’s one                                      thing he’s learned from dating stubborn girls it’s that,                                      in the end, they were going to win. Win what? He                                      wasn’t so sure. But win they would. Even if the small                                      victory ended up in another noise complaint.                                       He’s about to turn and walk into another room for a                                      breather when she says it. She’d been talking so fast,                                      or at least it felt fast and overly shrill, that he almost                                      doesn’t   catch   it.   Spider-man. Her   boyfriend   as                                      Spider-man.  His  arms  hang at his sides while his                                      mouth gapes open and closed like a fish out of water.                                       ”M - M … M…” His stuttering is a product of his                                      nervousness and utter confusion. It was impossible                                      that she knew — she couldn’t /know/, right? “M - Mary                                      Jane… what… what are you going on about? I’m not —                                      you’re not… I’m not…” Peter isn’t sure how convincing                                      he’s being considering her can’t even manage a full                                      sentence. “I - I don’t… understand.” He’s feeling dizzy                                      now, so he slumps into a pile on the floor, brown eyes                                      settled to stare into his hands rather than up at her.

[xmjwatson-blog]

        ❝ Peter---- Peter, come on, man, ❞ she says          and she follows suit and as he slumps to the          floor, she's on her knees all the same.

                She  puts  both hands on each side of his face and                 her  touch  gentler  than  she  had  been. Her words                 retain   the   sharp   edge  but  she's  soothing  now,                 somewhat  calmer  with  all  the  poison  out  of  her                 chest.  The venom had festered for too long, hidden                 in lies  of  "it's  okay"s  and "I'm fine"s that now when                 she was free of that.

            Fear  lingers  now,  however,  as  the "what if he pushes             away?"  question  starts  to  loom its ugly head. Still, she             knows she has been too angry.  Inasmuch as fire burns,             it   must  also  be  the  warmth  that  the  hearth  of  home             provides.  And  isn't  that  what  she's  been  trying  to do?             Keep   the  boy  safe  since  no  one  else  would  so  she             might as well.

                     ❝ Can the bull for the papers, honey. You can stop lying                      to me now. Please, Peter. Please, please stop lying to me. ❞

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                                   This always happens. Time and time again.                                    He wants to call her on her irony — she was                                    the one who claimed she couldn’t handle                                    having the same fight again — but he knows                                    he’s on thin ice enough as it is anyways                                     ”It’s not about trust! I trust you ten times over.                                             I wish it was just about that.”                                     He shoves his hands deep within his pockets                                    and looks up to blink away a few stray tears.                                    Her tone makes him feel small, makes him                                    want to curl up in on himself. It’s too hard when                                    she reacts like this. He’s not exactly known for                                    knowing the right thing to say. It always escalates.                                    ”You wanna know who else knows? Gwen. But,                                    oh, right, slipped my mind,” he motions to lightly                                    tap his own head, “she’s six feet under.”                                      It’s her cruelty that draws it out of him, because he’s                                     just as flawed as her and keeping himself together                                     with a life as tragic as his own is hard enough without                                     her screaming at him over things he can’t control.                                                           ”I’ve lost too much.”

[xmjwatson-blog]

        ❝ God, here we go ——          Here we go with the Gwen card !           Here we go with the guilt ! ❞

              It is not simple contained cruelty that bursts forth               from  her  as  tears burn through green eyes and               run  down  her  cheeks,  painting her cheeks with               the black of her eyeliner and mascara.

                   And  he's  right. And so was she. This has happened too often                    and  it  always  ended  up  the same way and Mary Jane hated                    cliched  endings. Maybe it's  time  to  play  more  than  just  the                    girlfriend and break off the one role she's been so determined                    to  keep  until  now.  She  gestures  frantically,  red  hair  nearly                    fuming and she's yelling in this apartment she calls her own.

        ❝ You  think  you're  the  only  one  who's lost somebody ?          Hell,  my  mom's  dead  too  but  you  don't see me putting          the weight of starving children in Africa on my shoulders !

              Gwen  dying  wasn't your damn fault and I'm sick of you using that girl               as a cop out excuse to keep lying to me ! And I'm so done -- I'm done,                I can't do this. I can't keep  doing this dance with you when I know my                damn boyfriend's doing the  cellblock  tango  out there with real guns                and real thugs and real murderers as SPIDERMAN.

                            What if I lose you, Peter ---- have you ever thought about that ? ❞

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                                    He opens his mouth to make a retort but ends up                                     closing it before he manages to say anything. The                                     whole situation is just frustrating on all ends. He’d                                     love to come clean with her, just pour open his heart                                     and let her in. Hell, it’d be good for him. But — Gwen.                                     Peter had become much too in love with Mary Jane                                     to ever want to risk putting her in harms way. It was                                     better to just… lie.                                       Peter drags a hand down his face before finding his                                      voice, much softer now, “isn’t it enough that I’m absolutely                                      smitten with you? I’d do anything for you, MJ — but this is                                      something I have to keep to myself.”

[xmjwatson-blog]

        ❝ Okay, okay, okay, so just----         Just let me get this straight. ❞

              Her  bright  green eyes are burning and she speaks               with a cruel mocking tone, bitter laughter echoing at               the back of her throat, and she shows him no mercy               she knows he deserves.

                    But damn it all, she hadn't counted on it being this                     hard; and why show mercy she has never known                     herself?

        ❝ You expect me to lie down and take your shit          and   trust  you  while  you  prance  around,  not          trusting me. ❞

                 She knows it's a cruel card to play and she knows                   it  isn't  true.  But  she  is  too  filled  with  too  often                   swallowed  spite  to stop now. Her anger gets the                   better of her. 

                      ❝ And  even  having  the  gall  to  lie  to  my  face --              day  in   and   out  --  and  who  the  hell else knows what              you don't tell me ? I can't do this, Peter. I can't do this ! ❞

[xmjwatson-blog]

"I'm not letting you walk, I'm going to carry you."

        ❝ God, Pete, you're making too         big  a  deal  of this, it's not like I         broke my f---- ❞

                 and she makes the mistake of putting                  weight  on her ankle and she would've                  toppled  over  if  she  hadn't hung on to                  him by the arm.

                            ❝ Sweet Streisand, that stings ! ❞

[thefeminineending]

Yet now, they hate me, and why? Because I am excellent.

Ben Jonson, Every Man in His Humour, IV. v (via thefeminineending)

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                                    “Maybe if you trusted me for once we                                     wouldn’t have to fight. You’re n o  t  the                                     only one who gets hurt, MJ!”

[xmjwatson-blog]

        ❝ Oh, trust you ? Oh that's rich.

                 How the hell do you expect me                  to  trust you when you've never                  given     me     any     goddamn                  reason to ? 

                    All you do is lie to me, Peter, and                     expect  me  to  swallow  it up like                     some  good  little girl. Well tough                     shit,   Sherlock,   'cause   I'm   not                     buying it ! ❞

[dreamer-and-crazy-blog]

Talented Mary Kate Wiles in selfportraits short film(x)

Thanks kenzimalikov <3

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

❝ we can't keep having this same fight. ❞ ( xmjwatson bc i miss u. )

Sentence Meme || [Fighting/Arguing Edition]

                               ”I don’t know where to go from here.” He rakes                               a hand through his hair and heaves a shaky                                sigh, trying to contain his previous anger, “you                                                             don’t listen.”

[xmjwatson-blog]

                  ❝ And what do you want me        to  listen  to,  Peter ?  Your  phoney        excuses that you're stupid enough        to think I fall for ? ❞

[abracabadass]

Mary Kate Wiles for Hidden Treasures Topanga Photo by Jason Flynn

[missroseofrp-blog]

Mary Kate Wiles as Princess Anna at the LeakyCon 2014 opening Ceremonies

Photos from her Instagram, @mkwiles

[dongwookss]

[xmjwatson-blog]

Lydia's never had anyone say they love her just the way she is. She's always too much, or not enough. Too crazy, too energetic, too wild. Not serious enough, not studious enough, not good enough.

Lizzie Bennet, The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick

[yeezusquote]

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

xmjwatson

[virtusaraneaarchive-blog]

                               ”You’re going to love me.”                                           There’s a twinkle in his                                           eye that makes it obvious                                           how much he’s dying to tell                                           her more.

[xmjwatson-blog]

       ❝ Are you assuming I don't already ? ❞                            ❝ ---- That hurts, Petey. ❞

                It  is  spoken  in  jest as a well practised eyebrow arches                 in enquiry and carmine tinted lips are posed as a playful                 smirk. The girl is  curious,  that  much  is certain, but she                 dons her usual confident charm of "cannot be fazed".