EXO fanfic- No Way To Go Home
Chapter 20- Where The Stars Fall
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(excerpt)
As the sun set, it looked like an illuminated drop of golden paint dipping into the water, and before it became completely sunken and drained the pool of the orange-brown it had dyed on the lake surface, the creak of the wooden floorboard rattled Luhanâs attention and he turned to see an old man walking towards him.
Luhan realized his initial worry of not being able to recognize the man was uncalled for, that even if the man didnât carry that bouquet of purple flowers which Luhan had asked of him, Luhan would still know this man was the one he was waiting for. The man approached Luhan warily, a little too slow, and Luhan didnât know if it was because of the limp in his left leg or because the person at the table with the purple flowers wasnât the one the man was expecting. Luhan got up from his seat when the man came over, and the two men stood across the table from each other. The man took a while to assure himself that the Iris flowers on the table was the same kind of purple as the Hydrangeas in his hands before he finally sat down. The man didnât know where to look. He stared at the marks and stains on the table, then the tea sets, book and flowers, darting his eyes across Luhan, turning to the sun that had already set, looking for the someone he was expecting to meet.
The waiter couldnât have come at a better timing to disperse the uneasiness. It didnât help that there wasnât a menu but at least it gave time for Luhan to observe the man across him. His ashen face was almost the same shade as his gray hair. On his impassive face, Luhan tried to imagine the man in his younger days. Those expressions of mischievous eyes and sheepish simper should fit in nicely but somehow they never seemed to find a place next to those scars that had faded. Most of the time, the manâs lips were pressed tightly together with its corners turned down, his eyebrows drawn, and his face crinkled up with lines hardened from too much frowning and too little smile. The man didnât give his name when he responded to Meiâs search notices on the forum. He was a stranger, but not unfamiliar. And Luhan had this feeling in his bones that perhaps he might have already read the manâs story somewhere.
In the end the man did not order anything and the way he chewed his lips until it blanched hinted that he was more eager for questions and answers. That was when the man finally made eye contact with Luhan. The pair of cold, barren eyes burned with a silent fervor and it sparked a sudden thought in Luhan when their eyes met.
âYou are?â The man asked.
âYou areâŠâ Luhan asked almost simultaneously, a question at first became a name he tried to recall from the book. With eyes still on the man, Luhan shuffled through the pages of the book until a triangular piece of brown paper slipped out from between and landed on the table.
âSehun⊠Oh Sehun.â The man said his name like the seventeen he was when he first met Yixing.
âSehun?â Luhan repeated quietly to himself, having to bite his lips to stop them from quaking uncontrollably.
The amulet had been left between the pages like pressed flower- dry, wrinkled and on the verge of crumbling into ashes- conjuring up memories of that particular day, while its mummified carcass could now only bookmark those memories that had been immortalized in paper and ink. Luhan picked up the amulet and held it before Sehun. Sehun took the amulet over and stared at it for a long time, his expression probably a more accurate depiction of ambivalence- an amalgamation of dazing shock with comforting surprise; hopefulness with a worry of the unexpected.
âWhere is⊠Zhang Yixing?â Sehun finally asked, looking back up at Luhan, pointing to the empty seat and extra cup on the table. It wasnât at all surprising that with just two mere occasions of meeting Yixing and after all these years of not seeing him, Sehun could tell that Luhan was not Yixing. Maybe Sehunâs desire to see Yixing had always been this strong that he had already etched a mental picture of Yixing in his head and even imagined how Yixing would look like as he aged. Sehun didnât want to forget, and how could he possibly forget the man who came up to him when he was lying among the dead waiting for his end to come. Yixingâs appearance was a miracle; it was almost angelic. But the way Sehun said Yixingâs name, it sounded bitingly foreign on his tongue. This was because Sehun never had a name- never a name for his prayers all these years, never a name for him to look for and thank the one who had saved his life. And now this name sounded bitterly stinging to the ears too, and Luhan couldnât mention the name without being overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions and sentiment attached to each syllabus. Luhanâs expression might have spoken a lot and he saw Sehunâs face sink heavily just like his, frown lines creeping up on every inch of his skin, outlining around tight lips and bleary eyes. Finally, Luhan understood why Yixing had always said that he and Sehun looked alike, because, at this instance, they really do look alike, wearing that similar torn expression of how they wanted to see Yixing again, so badly.
Luhan poured the two teas, one in each cup. He meant to give the sweeter and lighter one to Sehun, and Luhan would keep that acrid bitterness of regret to himself. However, Sehun reached for the darker one and downed the snuff-brown fluid in a gulp. That was lifeâs strange arithmetic. The least expected happened, the unheralded turned up, and the most awaited words of gratitude never said and heard. Luhan thought that perhaps Yixing already knew before him who was coming, and while lamenting over the fact that Yixing would never meet Sehun again in this lifetime, Luhan prayed that at least Yixing would have met and united with his other brothers, somewhere.
âIs Zhang Yixing coming?â Sehun tried again, looking expectantly at Luhan with eyes shimmering more of a plead than a question.
Everyone wants to know the ending. Not knowing that the ending- even though it hasnât been written down with indelible ink on hard paper- will always be the same. Some people will never come back. Some people will never meet again. And thatâs how the story ends.
The sky darkened to a deep, nostalgic shade of blue, brown and purple before the first few stars appeared. Moments later, a handful more spangled the dark cloak. They werenât just random scatter across the sky, but rather, they seemed to have picked up a formation behind the lone wilted tree, rendering it a little less forlorn by growing golden leaves out of its scraggy branches. The still lake glimmered with a sheen like that of a piece of black glass, tracing a perfect replica of the tree, stars and the sky above. It was as though two worlds really existed at the same time- exotically analogous yet distinctively exclusive- vaguely demarcated by the boundary of sky and water that was seen by the eyes but never existed in reality. The stars had found their way back home in the sky, and the gleaming lake was where the stars fall back to the living world- the closest they could ever get to those who they had lost and missed. Luhan found himself looking searchingly up to the sky and back onto the lake, looking for that brightest star. He still didnât answer Sehunâs question. He just didnât know how. He didnât know how exactly to tell Sehun that even though Yixing couldnât be here, he actually wasnât too far away.
In the end, Luhan poured two fresh cups of the tea and pushed them towards Sehun, telling him that when dawn meets dusk and when two worlds come together, perhaps, there exists a parallel universe too- at another place, in a different time- where there is a story, a never-ending one, of them, together.
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