XNSPEAKABLE

"Poetry will feed my heart, like blood." (Mahmoud Darwish)

[xnspeakable-blog]

Forever apologetic,

Me, with the once-childlike eyes,

Always 'sorry',

Sorry for asking,

Sorry for doing,

Sorry for being.

I always knew I'd never be enough for them,

But I never thought I'd never be enough for you too.

[warag-3nb]

بصٓبْر ينتظر و الصبر مٓلّه .. -طلال الرشيد ..

Patiently waiting while patience grows impatient ..

[xnspeakable-blog]

I should be used to your absence.

I should be used to your leaving,

Your goodbyes,

Your silence.

I should be used to being a footnote in the story of your life.

I should be used to this bursting pain, frustration, resentment

And God knows, how hard it is to vent at nothing

But air, cold like ice

You’re not even around

To cushion the blow.

[xnspeakable-blog]

Feel like my life is slipping through my fingers like sand - Whilst you selfishly skip to the beat of your own drum. I can't sleep tonight. I'm in the mood to set my heart on fire.

[alexandraelle-deactivated201511]

You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.

Mary Oliver, Wild Geese (via alexandraelle)

[xnspeakable-blog]

1. Nothing has made me feel so low in a very long time, as the agitation in your voice when I’m talking.

2. I am not your liability.

3. I wish I didn’t have to do everything [by] myself all the time.

4. I am tired of being independent.

5. 3:41am is not a healthy hour to be awake.

6. I can’t stand how easily you fall asleep whilst I’m falling apart.

7. I can’t stand long distance relationships.

8. “All the women in me are tired.” (Nayyirah Waheed)

9. There is a boulder called self-doubt; it has sharp edges.

10. Life is being on the outside looking in.

11. 3:50am is no better.

12. My shoulders are heaving from the weight of my mind.

13. I am tired.

14. I am deeply frustrated.

15. The worst silence is when the internal screams just become white noise.

16. I am tired of having to do everything myself all the time.

17. I am now fluent in the art of ‘let me numb the feeling of missing you’.

18. I hate that voice.

19. I dream of leaving everything and being free from these bonds.

20. Dear tomorrow, I refuse to make the effort unless you do too.

Night.

[xnspeakable-blog]

The day has been relentless, And the night will not let me sleep.

[ironedout]

1. If he’s going to leave, nothing you do will stop him. Not if you make yourself softer, warmer, gentler; not if you stay up all night mapping out his escape routes. If he leaves, let him go. 2. There is always going to be someone out there who thinks the worst about you. You’re going to believe them, but don’t. Listen: you are more than someone’s opinion of you. You are more than schoolyard gossip and petty rumors. You are not the worst thing you have ever done, or the worst thing you have ever said to someone. We all make mistakes. Learn from them, but never let someone use them against you. 3. You are your only competition. Strive to be the best version of yourself, not an image of someone else. 4. Be proud of yourself. Remember the nights you crumbled under the weight of your pain, and the mornings you fought to open your eyes, and won. Remember how you put yourself back together, brick by brick; remember the ache in your shoulders as you laid each stone. Remember that life is often the more difficult choice, and that it takes a special kind of bravery to choose it anyway. 5. Hold on. Even after the longest, coldest winter, spring will come. 6. There is always going to be someone out there who thinks the world about you. You’re not going to believe them, but they will, and I hope one day you can find it in yourself to finally listen.

Therapy Takeaways 5.0, by ironedout (ramblings #24)

[xnspeakable-blog]

Had I not died several times Of pain and loneliness, I would have not perfected The art of living.

Ghada Al Samman

[xnspeakable-blog]

Looking at you, it occurred to me I could sit around all day Wearing nothing but your kiss.

Shane Koyczan

[bashuraah]

[xnspeakable-blog]

I won't glorify or romanticise heartbreak, for me it was a kind of death and I was forced to keep living.

Warsan Shire

[layaloooo]

Your love taught me, how love changes the map of time. It taught me that when I love, the Earth stops spinning. - Nizar Qabbani

[xnspeakable-blog]

I bled into this relationship, Only for you to tell me That I am not allowed to feel the pain of my wound.

xnspeakable

[xnspeakable-blog]

Melancholy is a part of me Like air Sometimes I forget it’s there But I swear it keeps me alive. Melancholy keeps me grounded Reminds me to look into the beggar’s eyes, To kiss the hands of children, To be taken aback by the colours of the sky And smile, unashamedly, to myself Because in sadness, you resort back to the soul; And you seek complete refuge in God.

xnspeakable

[xnspeakable-blog]

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

Paulo Coelho

[xnspeakable-blog]

Looking at you, it occurred to me I could sit around all day wearing nothing but your kiss.

Shane Koyczan