˖° ༘: for your latest vlog, you decide to prank beyonce, your real strict and overprotective wife by coming home smelling like another woman with fake hickeys all over your neck and chest.
˖° ༘: strict older!wife beyonce x black!fem!you.
˖° ༘: i would totally do this but… i’d be so fcking scared😭😭
“y’all better appreciate this,” you whispered dramatically to the lens. “because if i disappear after today… mind your business.”
you snorted at your own joke before grabbing your keys. your subscribers loved these videos.
cooking pranks. ignoring my wife for twenty four hours prank. calling bey by her first name for a whole day. pretending to forget your anniversary.
every single time, the comments were flooded with people laughing about how your wife somehow managed to look intimidating without raising her voice.
“she don’t even gotta yell. i’d confess to crimes ian even do.”
“beyoncé got that disappointed mama look mastered.”
“(name) please stop stressing that woman out.”
the prank requests had only gotten crazier from there but today? you might’ve finally lost your mind.
you climbed into your car, locking the doors before digging through the shopping bag sitting in the passenger seat.
inside sat a cheap makeup palette and a bottle of floral perfume you’d grabbed from the mall earlier. you flipped the visor mirror down.
“this is either about to be cinema…” you muttered “…or my funeral.”
you laughed before dabbing the dark pink makeup along your neck. “a little blending…” a couple tiny smudges. another mark near your collarbone as you leaned back.
from a distance… it looked convincing. maybe too convincing.
“oh she finna kill me haaaaaaaa!!!!”
you reached for the perfume next. one spray then another. the sweet scent immediately filled the car.
“yeah…” you immediately scrunched up your face. “i don’t even smell like myself no more.”
exactly what you were going for. you picked up your camera. “so today’s prank…” you grinned. “i’m coming home smelling like another woman.”
you pointed toward your neck.
“i put some fake hickeys too, just for the helll of it!” you shrugged. “and we’re just gonna see what my wife does.”
by now, your confidence had disappeared. the cameras inside were already recording. there was no turning back.
you unlocked the front door.
you kicked your shoes off.
“da baddest is homeeee!!!”
a voice echoed from the kitchen.
you swallowed. fuck, here we go. bey looked up from the counter, wiping her hands on a towel.
“there you are.” her smile appeared almost instantly. “traffic?”
“yeah.” you set your purse down casually. “it was too damn bad.”
she walked over without another word like always. every time you got home, she’d greet you with a hug. only… she stopped halfway.
her nose twitched and the usual smile disappeared.
you kept your face as neutral as possible. “you good baby?”
she looked at you then closer then she leaned in again. “what perfume is that?”
“hm? what u talking about”
“that.” she gestured toward you. “you don’t own that.”
“i sampled something earlier.”
she wasn’t convinced. not even a little bit. her eyes slowly traveled upward.
your neck & your collar then she froze.
“oh, that’s what we doing.”
you nearly busted out laughing. instead, you bit the inside of your cheek.
“what?” she didn’t answer as she just kept staring then quietly asked, “come here.” with her finger.
she gently turned your chin.
“(name)…” her voice had gone dangerously calm.“i’ll ask you nicely.” she met your eyes. “who the fuck been sucking on you?!?!?”
you almost folded right there.
“i said… who the fuck been sucking on you.”
she held up a hand. “don’t ‘bey’ me.” another long look then she noticed one near your collarbone.
“…you got more.” you nodded before remembering you weren’t supposed to.
“you leave this house smelling like you.” she took another step closer. “you came back smelling like somebody else.”
“and now you got whatever this is.” you stared at the floor to stop yourself from smiling.
she noticed although you tried your best to hide it.
“no i’m not baby i swear.”
she started pacing. “you know what…” she laughed once but she didn’t find a fuck thing funny.
“i’ve been in this kitchen cooking, waiting on my wife and apparently, my mfckn wife had other plans.”
“baby, don’t be like that…”
“nah hell tfk nah.” she grabbed her keys from the bowl by the door. “i’m actually gonna leave before i say some, ion wanna say.”
your eyes widened. “leave? beyonce giselle knowles, stop playing with me frl!”
“yep, i’m playing right now just like you been playing in my damn face.” she opened the front door. “i’m finna go for a drive.”
“you obviously need time to think.”
she looked over her shoulder. “and i need a minute before i start asking questions i don’t wanna hear the answers to.”
you couldn’t do it anymore.
you burst out laughing. she blinked tryna fond the joke.
“i can’t…” you were practically bent over. “oh my god, i’m holllinnn!”
“what.” you pointed toward the bookshelf. “the camera.”
“the one hidden right there!!” you laughed again as her eyes followed your finger. she spotted the tiny blinking light then another then another and slowly everything clicked.
the perfume. the makeup. your terrible acting.
she closed the front door, locked it and set her keys down and walked over.
“so this a damn prank?” she folded her arms. you nodded rapidly. “i bought the perfume today!”
“the marks are makeup, i swearrrrr daddyyyy!”
without saying a word, she reached up with her thumb and rubbed one of the fake marks. pink makeup smeared across her fingertip. she stared at it for a second before looking back at you.
“…girl.” you covered your mouth. “i’m sorry!”
she stepped closer, still looking at the pink makeup on her thumb before shaking her head.
“cheap ass makeup.” you burst into another fit of laughter, nearly doubling over. “i told y’all it’d look real!”
she reached over and smacked your ass, making you jump.
“that’s for stressing me out.”
she grabbed the front of your hoodie, pulling you back toward her before pressing a quick kiss against your lips.
“and that’s because i thought i was really about to lose my damn mind.”
you smiled into the kiss before pulling away with the biggest grin.
“you was really finna leave me??!? all this?!?!!”
“you don’t love me?” she rolled her eyes so hard, the camera definitely caught it. “girl hush.”
she leaned in and kissed you again, this one lingering just a little longer before pulling away.
you giggled, wrapping your arms around her waist.
she sighed dramatically, resting her forehead against yours for a second before looking straight at the nearest camera.
“and y’all…” she pointed directly at the lens. “quit giving my wife these dumb ass ideas.”
you peeked around her shoulder, smiling at the camera.
“they gon’ ask for part two.”
“they ain’t getting one.”
“well they can ask somebody else.” you laughed so hard your stomach started hurting. “they love pranking you!”
“they love seeing me get worked up.”
“because you be acting crazy!” she looked over at you with the most offended expression.
“i smelled another woman’s perfume on my wife and found fake marks all over her neck. what exactly was i supposed to do?”
“don’t push it, (name).” you immediately threw your hands up, trying not to laugh again. “okay, okay!”
she wrapped an arm around you anyway, pulling you into her side before looking back at the camera one last time.
“video over because (name) got on my last nerves.”
“you still love me though.”
“y’all heard that? she still love me!”
beyoncé kissed the top of your head with another dramatic sigh.
“yeah… now turn these damn cameras off & go get innat bed before i do it to you infront of this camera.”
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