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yesterdaysprint

The Brooklyn Citizen, New York, September 24, 1899

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Chapter 9: Identity in Digital Spaces

For this week, we were tasked to observe a friend for a day and take notice of the difference between their offline and online behavior.

What were your observed interactions between his/her offline and online behavior? My friend is usually the type who is very active on Twitter. She would tweet at least once or twice every hour on a good day about the randomest things. She would usually do this on her rant account, and occasionally on her main account. The day I observed my friend, she had been very busy with org work so she was not able to go online as much. She hardly tweeted anything but she did take an insta story at one point during the day. Offline, it could be observed that she had been tired after getting home late the night before for rehearsals. She powered through the day but only checked Facebook for updates about school work.

Does his/her online behavior match his/her offline identity? To what extent? In general, since Twitter is the kind of platform that offers a relatively more honest avenue for expression (as compared to Facebook or Instagram), her online behavior with regards to that is very much similar to her offline identity. She regularly tweets about her interests, i.e. musicals, kpop, anime, etc. and is not shy to express her opinions and emotions about it through there. With Facebook, she shows a version of herself that is more "family-friendly" given that her parents, siblings, and relatives will be able to see her online activity so the glimpse of her identity there is more limited. With Instagram on the other hand, although it is also in its on way limiting with regards to the identity of my friend that it is trying to illustrate, the photos being posted and the stories being shared, are little bits and pieces of herself that she places on her profile. Although they do not really fully encapsulate her, it can be enough to show a bit of her personality, interests, and how she is as a person in general. The only difference perhaps, is the taking into account of the words unspoken. Frustrations throughout the day are not and do not necessarily have to be told to friends and sometimes the best or most suitable catharsis for it is through ranting in her private twitter rant account.

Are there any striking similarities/differences in terms of yours and your friend’s online and offline identities? What are they? There are several striking similarities between my friend's online and offline identities, mainly because her personality type isn't really one to "fake" an identity if it isn't really her. She is honest to a degree with her posts and I think she is a prime example of how this generation is breaking away the stereotypes brought forth by early 2012-2017 or so where they see kids today living Insta-lies. Although the perspectives social media can offer with regards to showing people's identities are incredibly limited, which is completely understandable, it is still very much evident that the friend I'm seeing offline who loves playing guitar, who is an avid theater fan, who has a good ear for Kpop music, and is overall just a really dorky person (in a good way), is the same version I can observe online.

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Three actions to address certain issues: 1. Work harder towards believing in myself more by starting (and committing) to doing the little things such as graciously accepting words of encouragement and compliments instead of pushing them away. 2. Loosen up a bit and don't take life too seriously. 3. To not be so hard on myself all the time

Note: This action plan has been forwarded to the people who have contributed to the Johari Window and I have assured them that I will do my best in working towards these goals.

What struck you most from the exercise? What struck me the most was how similar their insights about me were to each other. Upon analysis, I figured that it can be attributed to the fact that because they are a few of my most trusted friends, the version they see of me is more or less the same because of the way I act or simply am around people I am comfortable with. The sincerity of this is hinged on the fact that I do not feel the need to put up a formal facade around them because of the so-called walls that were there before and were broken down over time. Here, the looking-glass is more honest and stripped from preconceived notions and first impressions. The context varies from that of those with my parents, teachers, or even my siblings. The same goes for the meaning and the social structure or setting. Yes it still has the unavoidable and underlying tendency to do it achieve personal goals, be consistent, or conform to societal norms; but the inferences that result are infinitely different because of the fact that tim has molded it with a more experienced hand.

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Chapter 5: Uncovering the Unconscious

What struck me? Touched, moved, disturbed me?

This week’s readings and discussions took a turn that I had not seen coming. Freud’s Psychosexual Stages elicited two kinds of emotions in me: utter confusion and repugnance. His whole perspective on the pre-domination of the sexual fantasies at an incredibly young age leading to the Oedipus conflict and identification just felt too off for me and overall just really disturbing. What moved me in the lesson however was the reading about the Ghosts in the Nursery and how easy it is for people, even us, to become victims of circumstance that can in turn greatly shape the way we interact with the world and the given stimuli that life presents us with.

What did I learn this week? About myself? About others?

In this week’s episode on Understanding the Self, I have come to realize the following “Oo nga noh” moments:

- I soften my anxiety about most things with rationalization as a defense mechanism.

- I have the tendency to sweep most of my emotions under a metaphorical rug and that is perfectly normal for a lot of people.

- When people are drunk, much of how they respond to random claims directed toward them are observable under the various defense mechanisms presented, i.e. denial or projection. The list can now be something I can reference to when observing my drunk friends and I am the sober one in the group.

= The Ghosts in the Nursery was a haunting story but it also made me more aware of how one’s traumatic past can greatly affect how we deal with our present circumstances. It not only allows me to be cautious with my own experiences but with others as well. This in turn, serves as a reminder for me to be more understanding of people.

How can I apply this learning in my life?

Often when it comes to hearing about seemingly scandalous or sordid news about other people, we tend to be so quick to judge. We are all guilty of this. But the lesson I learned from Ghosts in the Nursery is that these people are also victims of circumstance - they are victims of a past that they had no control over. The only difference is that we evaded that kind of life because we had been fortunate in this lottery of birth. But if it had happened to you or me or perhaps your best friend, would we be able to handle it differently? Would we have handled it better? Or worse? Would we have been able to break the cycle or allow it to devour us whole? Beyond all these what-ifs however, I realize the importance of safe spaces and how important it can be to let ourselves serve as that safe space as well, for everyone we know has their own battles they are facing as well.

Think of a past intrapsychic conflict - how big was the id, ego, and superego in that conflict? What defense mechanism did the ego use in that situation to cope?

CONFLICT: dealing with an immature friend who does tantrums like a child during fights

Id: roast her because I know that she was in the wrong

Ego: “let her be and just nod because you’ve dealt with this situation before and you know that no amount of comebacks or arguments you throw at her (no matter how good) will not really change how she is as a person”

Superego: “if you constantly give in to your fear of confrontation and you continuously let her have her way even if she’s in the wrong, then she will continue on with the rest of her life with her head held higher than everyone else and you are not doing her, yourself, or anyone else she might have a conflict with in the future, a favor. Make her see that she is being unreasonable in a professional and calm way.”

Defense mechanism of the ego: suppression, isolation/intellectualization, projection (after)

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How might knowing the ABC's of your basic emotions be applicable in your life?

Knowing one’s basic emotions in and out allows an understanding of the self and how we react to any given stimuli. In recognition of this, we are able to take a look at how they are interconnected with our personalities and moods, as well as how we cope with daily living. They allow us to assess what fills us with dread, what moves us into action, what hampers us, and probably most important of all, what keeps us going.

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chapter 1.2: the week’s reflections

a few questions

what struck me? touched, moved, disturbed me?

I found myself looking back on my classmate’s varied interpretations on how our local, global, and hybrid identities have come to influence who we are, how we behave, what we like or dislike, and they were all insightful in their own curious little ways - from the little skit about racial jokes to certain stereotypes and how they have come to lay brick in our view of diversity all the way to the amusing yet impressive rap performance about how not everything makes sense. It became a small little reminder of how each of us experience everyday completely different from the rest and that it stems from a whole complex system of reasons.

what did i learn this week? about my self? about others? how can i apply the learning in my life?

On January 28, I went to the rally protesting the lowering of the age for criminal responsibility. It was the first rally I ever attended. The words “CHILDREN ARE NOT CRIMINALS” were written in bold on a piece of paper I held proudly, indignantly as we shouted the words “Ang tao, ang bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban!” at the top of our lungs. Being there felt so surreal. It was a new feeling to me, using your voice to protest instead of hearing it in the form of a frustrated conversation with a friend. I looked at a few of my blockmates who stood next to me all throughout and I saw the same anger. In fact it was the same one you could see in the faces of every single person who showed up on that day. And it was from this momentary observation I took in the midst of the protest that I realized how much I admired these people - most of whom I have never even met or talked to before - for the way they shake in defiance at every single injustice that they see. The courage they have to be standing there and fighting for the voiceless was a courage I hope to constantly unearth in me.

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chapter 1.1: an introduction and a list

the bioecological systems that influence who i am:

Around 900 kilometers away from my hometown, I, a first year college student am now currently residing in the country’s capital city and studying in Ateneo de Manila University with a Development Studies major where I hope to make a difference in the world someday.

my microsystems

My blockmates, classmates, and friends

My profs

My orgmates

my mesosystems

friends + teachers

my sister + friends

my blockmates + classmates + friends

my exosystems

my mom’s workplace (she’s a nurse instructor in a college)

the school administration who makes and enforces rules and regulations

the Philippine government