seen from Sweden
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Being Social
One of our projects was to make an activity that invited people to be social, and what better way to be social than to hang out with friends, or maybe even would-be friends! Our group decided to organize a little get together over food in Regis 3rd Floor and we had a great time just talking about how everyone was doing.
BINHI Experience
Our Binhi experience was to go to a nearby church community. There we met a few families and we stayed with them for most of the day. At first, I was apprehensive because it was a new, unknown area of Manila and I didn’t enjoy the prospect of being away from safe spaces, but it turned out pretty well. The families there we actually very nice and fun to be with. Initially, there was some distance between us students and the families, but over time, we got to know each other better and they even told us some of their life stories. Overall this experience was very positive and it’ll leave a good impression on me for quite a while.
When I saw the people there, I found that they were focused on different things from us students. Of course, since they were moms with families, their priorities were mostly on the future of their children. In comparison, we students were focused on mainly our studies and at times the happening that involved the school. For them, it was okay if they didn’t get high paying jobs, and it mattered more to them that they got to spend time together as a family, or at least for the family we were with. For the mom, it really hurt her when her first two children left their family behind for greener pastures and she hopes that their youngest child will turn out better and care for her when she’s older. As for us, we talked more about studying and what schools she could send her youngest to and how scholarships could be achieved.
Chapter 9: Identity in Digital Spaces
For this week, we were tasked to observe a friend for a day and take notice of the difference between their offline and online behavior.
What were your observed interactions between his/her offline and online behavior? My friend is usually the type who is very active on Twitter. She would tweet at least once or twice every hour on a good day about the randomest things. She would usually do this on her rant account, and occasionally on her main account. The day I observed my friend, she had been very busy with org work so she was not able to go online as much. She hardly tweeted anything but she did take an insta story at one point during the day. Offline, it could be observed that she had been tired after getting home late the night before for rehearsals. She powered through the day but only checked Facebook for updates about school work.
Does his/her online behavior match his/her offline identity? To what extent? In general, since Twitter is the kind of platform that offers a relatively more honest avenue for expression (as compared to Facebook or Instagram), her online behavior with regards to that is very much similar to her offline identity. She regularly tweets about her interests, i.e. musicals, kpop, anime, etc. and is not shy to express her opinions and emotions about it through there. With Facebook, she shows a version of herself that is more "family-friendly" given that her parents, siblings, and relatives will be able to see her online activity so the glimpse of her identity there is more limited. With Instagram on the other hand, although it is also in its on way limiting with regards to the identity of my friend that it is trying to illustrate, the photos being posted and the stories being shared, are little bits and pieces of herself that she places on her profile. Although they do not really fully encapsulate her, it can be enough to show a bit of her personality, interests, and how she is as a person in general. The only difference perhaps, is the taking into account of the words unspoken. Frustrations throughout the day are not and do not necessarily have to be told to friends and sometimes the best or most suitable catharsis for it is through ranting in her private twitter rant account.
Are there any striking similarities/differences in terms of yours and your friend’s online and offline identities? What are they? There are several striking similarities between my friend's online and offline identities, mainly because her personality type isn't really one to "fake" an identity if it isn't really her. She is honest to a degree with her posts and I think she is a prime example of how this generation is breaking away the stereotypes brought forth by early 2012-2017 or so where they see kids today living Insta-lies. Although the perspectives social media can offer with regards to showing people's identities are incredibly limited, which is completely understandable, it is still very much evident that the friend I'm seeing offline who loves playing guitar, who is an avid theater fan, who has a good ear for Kpop music, and is overall just a really dorky person (in a good way), is the same version I can observe online.
Three actions to address certain issues: 1. Work harder towards believing in myself more by starting (and committing) to doing the little things such as graciously accepting words of encouragement and compliments instead of pushing them away. 2. Loosen up a bit and don't take life too seriously. 3. To not be so hard on myself all the time
Note: This action plan has been forwarded to the people who have contributed to the Johari Window and I have assured them that I will do my best in working towards these goals.
What struck you most from the exercise? What struck me the most was how similar their insights about me were to each other. Upon analysis, I figured that it can be attributed to the fact that because they are a few of my most trusted friends, the version they see of me is more or less the same because of the way I act or simply am around people I am comfortable with. The sincerity of this is hinged on the fact that I do not feel the need to put up a formal facade around them because of the so-called walls that were there before and were broken down over time. Here, the looking-glass is more honest and stripped from preconceived notions and first impressions. The context varies from that of those with my parents, teachers, or even my siblings. The same goes for the meaning and the social structure or setting. Yes it still has the unavoidable and underlying tendency to do it achieve personal goals, be consistent, or conform to societal norms; but the inferences that result are infinitely different because of the fact that tim has molded it with a more experienced hand.
Chapter 5: Uncovering the Unconscious
What struck me? Touched, moved, disturbed me?
This week’s readings and discussions took a turn that I had not seen coming. Freud’s Psychosexual Stages elicited two kinds of emotions in me: utter confusion and repugnance. His whole perspective on the pre-domination of the sexual fantasies at an incredibly young age leading to the Oedipus conflict and identification just felt too off for me and overall just really disturbing. What moved me in the lesson however was the reading about the Ghosts in the Nursery and how easy it is for people, even us, to become victims of circumstance that can in turn greatly shape the way we interact with the world and the given stimuli that life presents us with.
What did I learn this week? About myself? About others?
In this week’s episode on Understanding the Self, I have come to realize the following “Oo nga noh” moments:
- I soften my anxiety about most things with rationalization as a defense mechanism.
- I have the tendency to sweep most of my emotions under a metaphorical rug and that is perfectly normal for a lot of people.
- When people are drunk, much of how they respond to random claims directed toward them are observable under the various defense mechanisms presented, i.e. denial or projection. The list can now be something I can reference to when observing my drunk friends and I am the sober one in the group.
= The Ghosts in the Nursery was a haunting story but it also made me more aware of how one’s traumatic past can greatly affect how we deal with our present circumstances. It not only allows me to be cautious with my own experiences but with others as well. This in turn, serves as a reminder for me to be more understanding of people.
How can I apply this learning in my life?
Often when it comes to hearing about seemingly scandalous or sordid news about other people, we tend to be so quick to judge. We are all guilty of this. But the lesson I learned from Ghosts in the Nursery is that these people are also victims of circumstance - they are victims of a past that they had no control over. The only difference is that we evaded that kind of life because we had been fortunate in this lottery of birth. But if it had happened to you or me or perhaps your best friend, would we be able to handle it differently? Would we have handled it better? Or worse? Would we have been able to break the cycle or allow it to devour us whole? Beyond all these what-ifs however, I realize the importance of safe spaces and how important it can be to let ourselves serve as that safe space as well, for everyone we know has their own battles they are facing as well.
Think of a past intrapsychic conflict - how big was the id, ego, and superego in that conflict? What defense mechanism did the ego use in that situation to cope?
CONFLICT: dealing with an immature friend who does tantrums like a child during fights
Id: roast her because I know that she was in the wrong
Ego: “let her be and just nod because you’ve dealt with this situation before and you know that no amount of comebacks or arguments you throw at her (no matter how good) will not really change how she is as a person”
Superego: “if you constantly give in to your fear of confrontation and you continuously let her have her way even if she’s in the wrong, then she will continue on with the rest of her life with her head held higher than everyone else and you are not doing her, yourself, or anyone else she might have a conflict with in the future, a favor. Make her see that she is being unreasonable in a professional and calm way.”
Defense mechanism of the ego: suppression, isolation/intellectualization, projection (after)
Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal is something kept daily that lists some of the things that you are grateful for in the day. I’ve decided to try making one and seeing if it helps me find positivity in everyday life. So here goes: - I’m grateful for my family for keeping me grounded even though I am far away - I’m grateful for my friends who have made being alone in a foreign place more bearable and even enjoyable - and finally, I’m grateful for the internet not dying while i was making this post :D
The Experiencing Self Vs The Remembering Self
So for our Social Sciences class, we discussed about the difference brought about by the experiencing self and the remembering self. Our professor said that these selves tend to contrast the information they get and that is why experiences are can be drastically different from how we remember. I realized that this is kinda true, since last Thursday I went and donated some blood with my friend. It wasn’t the first time I’d donated (it was my second), but the memory of a large needle going into you while you’re conscious isn’t exactly happy or cheery by any standards. So as we were waiting for our turn to donate, I was kinda hesitant to donate again because of the pain and maybe a slight fear of needles. When it got to be our turn, I steeled myself for the needle and the pain that came with it, but I was surprised by just how (mostly) painless it was. Of course there was some discomfort (since there is a needle in your arm and everything). This difference between the experiencing self and the remembering self causes a rift in how we react to stimuli. Maybe your day has been going great so far but your remembering self remembers that you woke up to find that your dog had barfed all over your bed while you slept and it ruined your day. I think that this is a great way of distinguishing how good or how bad your day has been. Like has it really been a bad day, or was it just 5 minutes of bad on a relatively okay day? Is it really a bad memory, or just a few bad moments?
