the 1975

synthetic apparitions of not being lonely // morgan / 21 / australia //

[xthe-1975x]

sorry I sort of just abandoned this blog. I really want to try get back into it (albeit it, probably very slowly) but life has gotten so hectic that I had to step away for a while. Here is a little update:

1. I got glasses (apparently things in the distance shouldn’t be blurry, only took me 19 years to work that one out)

2. Work is killing me with shifts and really ruining my mental health at times. Had a breakdown a few months ago and really struggled for a while but I’m ok now.

3. Sort of fell in love with Post Malone very fast

4. Sleep disorder is absolutely kicking my ass and it’s never been this bad. My dex barely works and I sleep an average of 14 hours a day. Don’t really function anymore outside of work, I sort of just sleep and walk around like a zombie (hence why I don’t blog much)

5. My supervisor that I am very attracted to is still great. Nothing has happened but recently in the last week he has been on holiday and has invited me out walking late at night a couple of times (he does this with others as well) and the second time we went driving for a while at night which is my favourite thing ever. When he dropped me off he told me he enjoyed my company.

6. Just finished season 7 of Law And Order SVU and I’m still going strong 💪🏻

[bob-belcher]

[xthe-1975x]

me: i wish someone liked me

someone: [likes me]

me: i must fake my death and lie low for ten years

[soljua-deactivated20180215]

reasons i haven’t replied back:

- i’m socially exhausted - i don’t have the time right now - i don’t know how to reply - i have a bad memory and got distracted - i’m having a depressive episode and don’t have the energy to socialise

not reasons i haven’t replied back:

- i’m ignoring you just because - i hate you - i’m fed up with you - i don’t want to be your friend anymore

[xthe-1975x]

asked a old man if he had a rewards card (like I do with every single customer) and he was like “no but I wouldn’t mind being rewarded by you 😉” and I honestly think it’s time to quit, bye I’m outta her, I didnt ask for this

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[xthe-1975x]

I’m working deli tonight and honestly I don’t think I have ever been so paranoid about my hair before. It’s braided and I’m going to be wearing a cap but damn like? It’s down to my butt, I could never work around food all the time because I’m so damn stressed that I’m going to be dropping hair everywhere

[xthe-1975x]

My manager always gives hi fives. It’s his thing, if you aren’t looking happy he will give you a hi five, if you have done a good job he will give you a hi five and when he is just walking past, he will hi five. Today when I walked into work we were passing each other and he hi fived and then held my hand and cupped it and started gently rubbing it and ??? my heart can’t handle this please don’t do this to me (I ended up turning the hi five into a hand hold when he dropped me off and he cupped my hand again and I can’t handle this why did I do that to myself ?)

[xthe-1975x]

sorry for literally never posting. work has been kicking my butt and I simply don’t have time to keep up with the 1975 as in depth as I used too. I usually work Mon-Friday and then usually get called in 1 day of the weekend and the other day is my rest. Juggling 6 days a week of work (usually 5 hour shifts) and a sleep disorder is fine, but it means I usually only have around 3-4 hours free every day and that’s spent playing with my cats and just doing absolutely nothing. I may pick this blog up again, I’m just not sure when that’s going to happen. With the number of staff rapidly dropping and the warm weather and the lead up to Christmas, work is only going to get more hectic from here :))))

[xthe-1975x]

mmm love when I’m presenting with symptoms that can be linked to serious problems but the doctor is like “it’s because you have swapped pills, this is normal” even though I have swapped pills multiple times and this has never happened. Literally all she did was say “have an ultrasound” which is easy in theory but I need to wait a week and then wait longer for results? Doesn’t stop me stressing less because I’m almost positive that there is actually something wrong with me?

[xthe-1975x]

Got called into work again at 6am and I was like “it’s ok, we have enough staff, it won’t be stressful because we aren’t on person down”. My manager gets to work and sees me, realises that she needs to pay me and the sick lady for another day and cancels someone’s shift so I’m a person down again :)) cool beans lol love life and I love stress

[xthe-1975x]

I get called in at 7am to do a 9 hour shift. It’s all good because I get a 1 hour break and then 2x15 minute breaks. I get to work and manager is like we can’t call anyone else in so you are 1 person down and “you have 2x30 minutes and you need to take them at 11 and 1 or you won’t be getting them” even though that makes no sense with the roster and then they tried to take my 15 minute breaks like? No? I’m entitled to them and also fuck you im coming in and doing you a favour, I’m 1 person down and I can’t even take my breaks when I want?

[xthe-1975x]

nothing like song good old speed to wake you up in the morning :)))

[xthe-1975x]

yesterday I worked 11-2pm and then stayed back unpaid until 3:30pm to do this stupid induction thing with 133 questions. I get home at 3:30 and at 3:39 my phone rings to come in and do close from 5:15-9:15. All good. I love money and my fav manager was closing. Get home. Shit night sleep and my phone starts ringing at 6am. It’s cash office lady, front end supervisor is sick and they need me to work her shift on top of my already existing shift so now I’m working 7am-4pm. Cool beans.

[xthe-1975x]

this is now my favourite corner ✨

[xthe-1975x]

my mum has had this rocking chair in her bedroom since I was real little. It belonged to my great grandma so she obviously didn’t want me to sit on it/break it because she didn’t know how strong it was since it was so old. A week or so ago she mentioned having to throw it out because there isn’t any use for it but there isn’t space for it in the house either and it’s too weak to use. I was like “if it’s going in the bin, I want to sit on it at least once. I have seen it here all these years and have never been able to use it” and I sat it in front of my record player, sat on the chair and it held me perfectly, no signs of breaking and now I have acquired a rocking chair and have elevated my grandma status even further and I’m not even mad💁🏼

[marci1900]