✱ 雪豹, 山的鬼.

────⠀ ♯⠀ 𝗂⠀ 𝖺𝗆⠀ 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘭𝘦 ⠀𝖺𝗇𝖽 ⠀𝗎𝗇𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗒. ⠀𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇. ⠀𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗴𝗲. ⠀𝖾𝖺𝗍.

[xueba-o]

xiao yuxin; boy. student. vampire. ghost of the mountains. the study of codependence, love, loss of self, the struggle of shifting from beast to man and leaving your homeland.

explores triggering themes of; slight body horror, implied homophobia, gender dysphoria, self-harm, and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♯   ⋮   read the prologue. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♯   ⋮   go to the main blog.

[xueba-o]

✰　﹐　in RESPONSE TO, @likelimbo's JESSE　⊃

as soon as jesse says it, all hopes of regaining his form as a magnificent snow leopard and ghost of the mountains and guardian of the snow get thrown out the door. it's far too obvious in the way his face drops, and the air surrounding them changes.

jesse is embarrassed. and that fact, somehow, embarrasses yuxin as well. jesse was just a juvenile. a twenty-something kid who had only discovered this major thing about him a few years ago. this whole gig was them trying to discover themselves and push themselves to the limit, anyway. how could yuxin dare to ask him what he could do if ... essentially, he couldn't even do anything anymore?

"self-heating and awesome stuff... riveting information. really glad you're considerate enough to not wreck my place." yuxin mumbles, a teasing and knowing smile on his face as he begins to hum; thinking of any information that he could tell caishen. for one, he needed to one-up him. he needed to seem so cool that jesse would be jealous. there wasn't exactly any specific reason for it, but yuxin wanted to seem cool, and he wanted jesse to be excited again about learning about himself.

"well, i can heal others with my blood. i can also camouflage into my surroundings... make the weather around me a lot colder, even snow sometimes." he goes on and on to list all of his abilities; none that he could do now, of course. it was all in the past. the past him. one that jesse might never get to meet - but being depressed about his lack of change could come after jesse went home. "oh - i also could communicate with others telepathically. let's try it." he hums, closing his lips to show that he really isn't speaking, looking at the other in front of him.

in a few moments, he speaks: using his mind instead of his mouth, hoping that the other can hear him. "well, can you hear me? you can do it, too, you know. with others like us."

[xueba-o]

✰　﹐　in RESPONSE TO, @likelimbo's JESSE　⊃ cw: mention of suicide (jokingly).

okay, it's not like yuxin wanted to read these ancient scriptures either. they were older than he was - and that was hard to do most times. he was old. but he had memorized these scriptures centuries ago, their words seeping through his skin and hooking onto his brain like claws, their meaning translating themselves every time he re-read them. and although jesse was a bit ... lacking, so to speak, in the reading-to-figure-out-what-the-hell-is-going-on part of their training, he did provide the occasional entertainment when he wasn't whining about it.

but this time, he was whining. or more like ... complaining. had the young tiger been alive a thousand years ago, he might've seen yuxin complaining about the same thing. but he had to be calm - cool and collected. an elder to jesse.

"taking in knowledge from the ancient scriptures can help us control our innermost urges. it can give us the tools to accept our inner beast - embrace the man within us, good or bad." god - what the hell was he even saying? his eyes stayed trained on the silk scroll, eyes scanning the already-read fabric for any new information. anything he might've missed in the - i don't know, 2000 years he's been alive.

and honestly, he really did give it a good shot. after spewing some more philosophical nonsense to jesse who was most definitely no longer listening, yuxin tossed the scrolls to the side, dragging his hands down his face with a tired groan.

"alright! no - you're right, jesse. we should change it up! hours of reading will get us nowhere except you to dreamland and me to suicide. let's go, up up!" he says, rushing the last part, as if fully confident and knowledgable of what he's doing.

"let's harness your powers. maybe that'll trigger me to change, okay? alright ... so! give it to me: what can you do?"

[neonsbian]