Ana Diary 🖤🦇

she/her | 28 | cw: 164.91lb | gw: 100 lb | Chronically Ill neurodivergent

[xwoundedwingsx]

Any older ana girlie's have heart issues ? I've been on and off for over 20 years now and suffer with atrial fibrillation, chest pains, and breathless.

[saddi3grl]

[uhmnothx]

Me: ⭐️ving myself to loose weight

My friends/family: have you lost weight

Me: … 😏

[starvingtoperfectiontobethin]

Yes yes i have

[xwoundedwingsx]

just realising my therapist for the neurospicy and cptsd is not well versed on eds is super awkward. Spent a good 10 minutes with her telling me to drink protein and nutrient shakes rather than my safe foods 😐

[xwoundedwingsx]

I just don't understand how average people enjoy feeling full after eating, no matter the portion size, that disgusting, gluttinous, bloated feeling is just unbearable for me.

[xwoundedwingsx]

Anyone elses periods just disappear completely almost straight away once they start restricting again?

Still get cramps, but it either never arrives or 2 light days with nothing much.

[xwoundedwingsx]

Mildly irritated that I didn't access 90'/00's an@ forums when my eating disorder was at its peak.

Your girl was eating crackers and working out 3 times a day! Would have never dropped the ball back then...

[xwoundedwingsx]

Do you ever think?

"Man, I'm really bad at this @na thing".

[xwoundedwingsx]

Started a job where I can freely overexercise as we have targets and are on our feet all day, and I get praised for being faster than everyone else. I know it means I'm still a slave to my ed, but it sure feels good.

[xwoundedwingsx]

Gained 3 pounds back because of my period, and now I want to ✨️cease to exist ✨️

[xwoundedwingsx]

super nervous for the holidays and eating around family and friends, would literally rather put my head in an oven.

[xwoundedwingsx]

Allocating time to eat something small, but being so exhausted from not eating that you lose all interest. Can't quite figure out if this is a win or not?

[xwoundedwingsx]

Eating next to nothing but the weight isn't shifting? I'm not small either, so why the hell is it not falling off???

Advice from my @na guys and girlies is much appreciated!

[xwoundedwingsx]

Food I can give or take, but alcohol is my calorie downfall...

[xwoundedwingsx]

Can't believe I used to look like this and then let myself gain 80 fucking pounds... I don't condone anything but I'm telling you now that that binge ain't worth it TRUST ME

[xwoundedwingsx]

I am so damn sick of being the fat one in every group, feeling the pity when they look at me, so glad they don't look like me...

[xwoundedwingsx]

Actually eating and then getting that tight, nauseous feeling is pure fucking garbage 🤮🤮🤮