This wasnât the first time she had heard from Marlene. It was easy to ignore the first owl, the sting of those final moments still far too fresh. The second time she nearly responded. Her heart still ached when she thought of Marlene, even through the anger that never seemed to really subside. But she refrained, instead choosing to dwell on that anger. No one ever chose her, not even the people who were supposed to. No one ever stayed.
On a purely rational level, she knew that she was being unfair. She knew that Marlene had lost everything that night. She knew that everything she had once counted as constant had been ripped away from her, that she had been forced to relearn who she was. But Aila refused to accept that Marlene hadnât known that she would have stuck by her through the whole thing â if not as her girlfriend than at least as her friend. She could have accepted that⊠probably. Probably she could have accepted that. Â
But what she wasnât sure she was willing to accept was this. She wasnât sure she was willing to let Marlene back in just to have her remind Aila that she wasnât good enough as soon as things get hard again.
Marlene hadnât given her much of a choice though â the postscript on her letter had made it pretty clear she wouldnât take no for an answer this time. And the thought of Ashâs reaction if Marlene made good on her threat and showed up at the WWN was enough to get her to agree.
âThis is fine,â she said softly, pulling out her wand and tapping it against the mug.  âIâve got it.â She paused, unsure of what to say. Talking was what she was good at, but she felt lost here.  âYou doing okay?â
Marlene wasnât under the impression that her and Aila were on good terms. Sheâd been in a dark place, and had in a lot of ways pushed people away she thought she could save from the pain. It wasnât something Aila seemed to get, and at some point Marlene had to accept it.Â
Maybe thereâd still be rough edges around the two of them, but Marls at least wanted to try and reach out again. maybe they couldnât fix it, but they were going to at least try.Â
Marlene settled back into her seat when Aila fixed her drink herself. She wasnât usually this nervous around people. Marlene didnât really care what people thought of her, or at leas she hadnât. Now though even as she settled there was a weird feeling in the air. Like two people who werenât about to agree but didnât want to fight anymore.Â
Marlene certainly didnât want to fight anymore.Â
âBetter than I was,â Marlene said truthfully enough one of her hands absently rubbing at her neck almost to hide one of the scars there. Sheâd gotten into the habit over the last year when she was nervous, and although she tried to break it, it seemed to follow her. It may be a stretch to say she was doing well but she was doing better. A lot of the first flames had been doused but it didnât mean that Marlene was suddenly picture perfect. She was at least a lot calmer than she had been.Â
âHow are you?â Marlene said knowing fully that the other probably wasnât doing well. Marlene knew that sheâd been in - well the fight. Still it felt right to ask, and it seemed to be at the level they were at this point. Almost strangers.Â
That was a little painful for Marls to think about, but it was what it was.Â