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Kaleidoscope
She had a stained glass window for a heart - a shoebox for a chest cavity, and a kaleidoscope for a soul that would reflect its light back at me. Depending on the day, she shone different colors. She had a handful of favorites that she kept locked inside her cupboards. Sheâs got drawers in her stomach, yeah she knows how to swallow her pride, but it get compartmentalized in the crawlspaces, and builds up inside. She says sheâs fine, but she lies, so she keeps sunglasses on to try to hide her eyes. And at night, she stays out of the shadows - itâs one of the only times that her true color shines. She says, ÂYouâre talking about me like you know what I mean, but you know nothing about leading that kind of life. ÂBaby doll, my heart is as black as my lungs are. I keep bitterness in these cabinets next to all my bad habits - you either find faith, or lose it - you either had it or have it - Well I have had it! So I wear my smile on the good days that I keep in these baskets, wear my grimace facing life without the opiate for the masses. You pop your god like these pills that I take to bear the circumstances - Whatâs the difference? I called out to your god, but he never listened. You call it praying, well Iâm just wishing that things couldâve been different. She says her daddy didnât want her, so she squanders to be the mother/father figure for her daughter. A piece of clay recreating herself as a beautiful basin from the situation that she was placed in - build for retaining life - a feat manufactured without the proper water or the potter And her heart it cuts like a knife! Itâs priceless and itâs as hard as a diamond, but sheâs been selling it for nickels and everybodyâs been buying. So now thereâs cracks in the basin, the way thereâs cracks in the basement - the one that daughterâs daddy beat her in when sheâd dare to face him the way thereâs cracks in the cement that she can dig her high heels in while she waits for another customer to pour his water in. She says her momma was a little bit crazy, a little lazy, a little biased towards the media mainstream. Prone to fainting or naming it fainting when sheâd pass out after blazing just after papa came home late for the hazing. The alcohol made him crazy! Thatâs when I started praying, praying, praying, but nothingâs changing, changing, changing, so thatâs when I started blaming, blaming, blaming, weâre all on our own, the stars are empty, thereâs no hand out there to save me, save me, Save me. She loved Vogue, and American teen magazines, almost as much as she loved vomiting to try to match the model women that sheâd she on the movie screens. Says, ÂI believe that she loved me, and maybe itâs a fantasy, but I believe that she cared for me the way she cared for her methamphetamines. Donât tell me I need saving! You point those fingers so righteously, all these people pushing for me to practice their piety well, I gave your god a chance to save me, so thank you kindly, greatly, but itâs just me and my baby, me and my little girl - us against the world, well Sweet dreams, daughter! Iâm gonna be your mother! Iâm gonna be your father! So every time another man just like her father bought her, she spent the nickels on diamonds for her daughter. She had prisms for eyes - and one time she took off her mask, and let me inside. I paid her for her time, told her that she was valuable and she replied, ÂOnly as valuable as the next man in line. Well I came to tell you that youâre beautiful. I think youâre lovely. I think that youâre made for more than youâve settled for. She said, ÂAll of them tell me they love me. I used to dream, I used to have big plans, I used to believe that there was something out there that was bigger than me, and that he would take care of me, and that I could grow up to be whatever I wanted to be, but I guess itâs too late for me, so I started selling my dignity to give my daughter that dream, and to make it a reality I used to dream! I never meant to quit! So whoâs to blame for this bullsh- Shh, shh, girl, I will not even mention it. The hands that weâre dealt - I donât understand. And I donât have all the answers, and I donât know all the plans. I just wanted to tell you that youâre beautiful, I think youâre lovely, I think I know love that loves the unloving. ÂYeah! You told me your god was gorgeous, but I just canât see it! I want so badly to see color! I want so badly to believe it! I keep an ounce of hope inside one dresser drawer in my chest! Every now and then, it grows, if watered, to a seedling, at best One time, it grew and stretched through the cracks into the next, but I just canât make it blossom, cause I just canât make myself forget and now thereâs nearly nothing left Sheâs got a kaleidoscope soul, but sheâs got grayscale lenses, sheâs got rod-iron bars to keep up her defenses. Sheâs got all of her emotions hung up on hooks in her closets, sheâs got little hints of happiness tucked away in her lockets. Sheâs got high hopes of heaven stapled to the doors of her cabinets, she wraps the hopes up in packets of personal baggage to mask it. Sheâs got angels singing to her from the lips of ballerinas in a music box that she keeps locked behind a door thatâs cemented to a heart of rocks, but if you knock long enough, they say that door could be opened. Hereâs to hoping until then, I wanted you to know that youâre beautiful. I think youâre lovely, I think I know love that loves the unloving. I think youâre still loved, I still think itâs true. I still thereâs more hope out there for you. Yeah I think youâre beautiful. I think youâre lovely. I think you could know love that loves the unloving.
How to love your introvert 1. We introverts are not always the best at breaking the ice, so in order to get the ball rolling, we often have to resort to tactics that may seem obscure to your average extrovert. This may include subtle clearings of the throat, gentle hand gesturing, and numbers placed carefully into routine conversations where they normally do not belong. 2. You may be asking yourself âHow can I be sure that Iâm speaking to an actual introvert and not someone simply masquerading as oneâ, well, here are a few tell-tale signs. If the person wraps their arms around your shoulder as theyâre introducing themselves to you for the first time: Probably not an introvert. If the person uses the words âunwindâ and ânightclubâ In the same sentence: Probably not an introvert. If the person attempts to engange in any conversation whatsoever about the weather and they are not from Minnesota: Probably not an introvert. 3. To set the record straight, I do not hate people. But I do get pretty damn tired of them sometimes. Just pretend for a second that my desire to socialise could be equated to my desire to exercise. This means that a quick jog around the block would be a lot like catching a cup of coffee with a friend, bar-hopping with buddies would be like finishing a 6-minute mile, and my senior prom was a little bit like running the iron-man in the middle of August. Now you see, I donât hate talking to people any more than they hate a little bit of exercise but you wouldnât challenge an Olympian to a marathon after he just finished a race. Understand that when I tell you I canât hang out tonight, I just came back from a poetry jam, maybe itâs not because I hate you, maybe itâs because Iâm tired. 4. There will be many times when you will be uncomfortable in my silence, unsure of how I am feeling. Understand, that just because I do not wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see does not mean that it beats any softer than yours. Do not confuse the stillness of the lips with the rhythm of apathy. Do not confuse the sound of words rattling off, 80 beats per minute, with the music of an actual conversation. Just because I cannot commit the act of small talk does not mean I donât have huge things to say. Just because I find peace within myself does not mean I could ever stop wanting to love so hard, because 5. We introverts are not always the best at breaking the ice, so we often have to resort to tactics that may seem obscure to your average extrovert this may include subtle clearings of the throat, gentle hand gesturing, and writing an entire poem just to say 6. I love you more than quiet trips to the library. I love you more than cancelling Friday night plans. Baby, Baby, I love you more than Tumblr. But when the world is shouting far too loudly for us to hear our own voices, and when these words cling far too tightly to my own chest. I just want you to know that I love you, I love you, I love you.
Kevin Yang, How To Love Your Introvert (via cloudyskiesandcatharsis)
Coffee Break
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Someday youâre gonna look back at all the progress youâve made and be so glad you didnât give up when you felt like that was your only option.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
Bracelet made from upcycled weapons of conflict from Cambodia such as bullets, bombshells, and other miscellaneous accessories of war.
To learn more about the project:
http://www.purplebuddhaproject.com
â Donât get mad. Donât get even. Do better. Much better, become so engulfed in your own success & happiness that you forget it ever happeneâŚ
http://twitter.com/goodquoteco (via kushandwizdom)
âAnd theyâre gonna love you anywayâŚâ
Neil Hilborn-Â âBallad of The Bruised Lungâ
Quote from Neil Hilbornâs new book, Our Numbered Days. Check it out at the Button Website!
âThat those we call friends lend strength to our backbone, when standing alone is something they can never let us do. Because they pack their bags, ready to travel with us past everything we go through. Preparing to shine in the dark places.â
Shine by Shane Koyczan (via pandora-fandoms)