(Thank you @crimsonprose for beta reading this while my OG beta is having their ass beaten by life.)
Natalie
The walk home that night was quite possibly the longest of Natalie’s life. Every step felt as though her organs had been replaced by lead weights. The heaviness was so overwhelming it caused her to drag her feet. The guilt ate away at her with every sluggish thud of her boots. Her body begged her to turn back, to apologise for leaving the same woman she loved and hated in equal parts, to ask Lottie to promise she wouldn’t hurt her again - and in an ideal world - say something that could make Nat believe her.
By the time Nat finally made it through the door to her apartment, she dropped to her knees, the tears she had held back on the endless journey home now falling liberally.
She tried to remember everything Lottie had done, tried to justify her own actions. Part of her hated Lottie even more for turning her into a person capable of that evening's actions and walking away the way she had.
Before Nat had noticed, she had managed to even the playing field. She still beat herself up for her comment regarding Lottie’s father. But she could chalk that one down to the initial shock of such a betrayal. But the way in which she callously plotted to sleep with Lottie without giving her so much as a glance, only to leave in the end… well, that she simply couldn’t find an excuse for.
No matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she told herself that what she did was justified - that Lottie deserved to hurt the way she had - she couldn’t control what was left of her heart shattering as the visual of Lottie curled up in her bed sobbing herself to sleep blurred her excuses to insignificance.
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As the days rolled by, Nat remained in a daze. Relentlessly replaying every action, every word, every thought in a desperate attempt to decipher her own feelings.
Even now, while setting up her stream for the first time in what felt like months - her money dwindling to a dangerous degree - she remained torn.
Part of her couldn’t help but love Lottie. God, she missed her. She missed everything about her. Her touch, her laughter, her kisses, her voice, her texts just to check in and show interest in Nat’s day, her effortlessly small gestures that made her swoon.
No matter how many times she wished she could just forget, she still remained tethered by the ghost of Lottie’s lips on her own. She had hoped hurting Lottie would bring her a sense of comfort, that the revenge would have been sweet. Unfortunately the revenge was nothing short of bitter, it stung her throat and tainted her tongue as it ate its way through her day by day.
She was still left wondering if Lottie even felt the same way, if she was hurting like she had been, if she had ever felt the things Nat had finally become brave enough to put into words. For all she knew Lottie could have been unaffected and moving onto the next. Meanwhile, Nat continued to stew.
Lottie hurting her was one thing, but the thought that she had never cared for her - that she used her completely without a shred of emotion sat heavy on her chest.
Apparently Nat’s love for Lottie was unconditional, because after everything, after all the pain and lies, Nat still ached for her.
It wasn’t as though Lottie had made it very hard to fall, she had seen every ugly side of herself, every scar, every grotesque wound she carried around from day to day. Lottie had even glanced into her closet crammed full of skeletons and still returned the very next day with a smile on her face and Nat’s go-to coffee order in hand.
No matter how badly Lottie had betrayed her, had hurt her beyond words, she still couldn’t shake the urge to reach out and beg her to never hurt her again, to promise she could rebuild their trust from the ground up.
She took a heavy breath, blinking away her tears and glancing at herself in the camera to ensure she looked as though she hadn’t rotted in bed for the past god knows how many days.
Although she was most certainly not in the mood to touch herself in any way shape or form, she needed the money. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been faking orgasms on stream since her first night with Lottie anyway, how hard could it be?
Once she decided she looked presentable enough, she clicked the button to begin her livestream.
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Lottie.
By some miracle Lottie managed to drag herself to and from her classes upon receiving a warning email about her lack of attendance over the past few weeks.
Although she made it into the lecture halls, she may as well have stayed home. She spent the majority of her classes inside her head overthinking and dwelling in her misery.
She missed Nat more than she had ever thought possible. She had hoped that after that night together she might have been given the chance to explain herself and apologise. Even after Nat left the way she did, a small part of her hoped Nat would decide she had made Lottie suffer enough, that she had paid her penance and would finally be able to prove herself trustworthy.
It seemed that was not going to be the case but a girl could dream.
She checked her phone religiously for days on end, praying to see Nat’s name pop up with a call, a text, anything. Unfortunately the notification never appeared - not that it deterred Lottie from continuing to pull out her phone every hour on the hour just in case.
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“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t seriously still be sulking over Nat.” Jackie snapped after the fourth brunch in a row that consisted of Jackie essentially talking to herself - Shauna only offering the odd grunt of acknowledgement.
Lottie simply shrugged and poked at her food.
Realising her harsh tone wasn’t going to get a response so easily she continued to pry more gently this time. “I know you loved her, Lot, but you can’t just stew over her forever.”
Lottie peered up at that, quick to set the record straight. “I didn’t love her past tense, Jackie. I love her now. I’m sorry my misery is coming between you and your brunch but I can’t help how badly this hurts. You don’t think I wish I could just move on? You think I haven’t considered that already?”
Jackie blinked a couple of times, stunned into silence as she contemplated her next words carefully. She glanced across the table at her girlfriend who hadn’t even bothered to look up from her book, seemingly having checked out of their conversation long before Lottie’s outburst.
Never had she seen Lottie this sad for this long over anything. In fact, Jackie had become more accustomed to the version of Lottie that seemed unfazed by most things, that never seemed to care for anyone enough to waste time being upset when they left - or, in most cases, when she left them.
It swiftly became clear to Jackie that of course Lottie did allow things to bother her, just as strongly, if not more so than the average person - that she didn’t possess a gift that caused her not to care, but a curse that made her excel in bottling emotions up and keeping them to herself.
Lottie returned her attention to sliding her food across her plate with the tip of her fork and stared blankly as though she hadn’t just emotionally burst in front of Jackie’s very eyes.
A hand ceased her fork’s movements and she glanced up to the owner of said hand. Jackie held a gentle smile as she ran her thumb soothingly over the back of her hand until she eventually dropped the fork.
“I’m sorry.” Lottie breathed, “I just… I can’t move on Jax. I just can’t.” She shook her head with a sigh before confessing, “I miss her so fucking much.”
Lottie thanked God herself for allowing her to seemingly run out of tears at this very moment, saving herself from further embarrassment.
“I know… I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just hate seeing you like this. You won’t let us help.” Jackie cooed, continuing to run her thumb over the back of Lottie’s hand.
Lottie shook her head once again as she swallowed thickly, trying her best to remain stoic and maintain what little composure she had left. “There’s nothing you can do. She hates my fucking guts and I’m over here with nothing but love for her. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“Have you tried talking to her yet?”
“That night at the club. She came home with me. She didn’t even look at me, wouldn’t even take her clothes off.” Lottie confessed, her face downturned as she blinked away tears at the memory.
“After… I tried to talk to her. She just left. I thought maybe after that she might reach out, that maybe she would feel like she got even in some fucked up way.” Lottie swallowed the bile rising in her throat once more before adding. “I’d do anything to just tell her I’m sorry, to tell her that I love her.”
“I-“ Jackie stuttered, clearly lost for words.
“Jesus fucking christ.” Shauna groaned, slamming her book down on the table so harshly their cups rattled.
Both women jumped simultaneously at the abrupt interruption, staring wide eyed at the culprit.
“You said you want to tell her you're sorry and that you love her, yes?” Shauna questioned.
Lottie slowly nodded her head, still somewhat stunned. Partly because Shauna was actually listening to their conversation and party due to the jump scare.
“Okay… and did it ever occur to you that you could just… do that?” Shauna stared, her voice making the idea seem a lot more simple than it had within Lottie’s mind. “For a smart girl you’re being a real dumb bitch right now.”
Okay, ouch. Lottie visibly shot back in her seat as though the verbal lashing physically whipped her. It wasn’t like Lottie expected Shauna to sugarcoat it - hell - Lottie couldn’t remember a single occasion where Shauna opened her mouth with the intention of tip-toeing around someone's emotions. Maybe she was being a “dumb bitch” and only Shauna would be capable of insulting her in such a loving way.
“Well- I-“ She stuttered in response. “It’s not that simple.”
Shauna rolled her eyes briefly as she returned her attention back towards her book, speaking as she located her previously abandoned page. “Of course it is. Just tell her and live happily ever after or move the fuck on. At least then you know where you stand.”
With that, Shauna returned to her page, leaving Lottie and Jackie staring blankly at her for a long moment before glancing back towards each other. Jackie offered nothing but a shrug, leaving Lottie to decide whether to take Shauna’s advice or not.
She figured it couldn’t hurt, it wasn’t like things could possibly get worse. Although the closure would bring peace in the long run, part of Lottie knew that once she admitted her feelings she could no longer take them back.
If Nat were to deny her apology - and worse still not reciprocate said emotions - Lottie wasn’t sure she could survive such devastation.
In the end Lottie knew her options were misery or the slightest chance of happiness.
“Okay.” Lottie finally whispered, now playing with the rings on her fingers anxiously.
Jackie sighed a breath of relief. “Okay thank god. I wanted you to make your own decision but I can’t pretend this isn’t your best… only option.”
Lottie nodded along, already mentally wondering what the hell she was going to say to Nat given the opportunity.
“There is one… little problem.” She mumbled regretfully.
Jackie raised a brow and awaited Lottie’s next confession.
“Well… after that night at the club, I was really hurt. She never text or called afterwards. I figured she got her pound of flesh, that she really did hate me and never wanted to see me again. So… I deleted her number.”
Jackie weighed up the options in her head before coming to a conclusion. “You know where she lives though. You could just go over there and speak to her face to face.”
Lottie’s eyes widened at the thought, her body thrumming with anxiety. She rapidly shook her head in protest. “Fuck no. No way. She’d probably slam the door in my face before I said hello. Nope. Not doing that.”
“Hmmm…” Jackie tapped her pointer finger against her bottom lip as she conjured up any other means of communication. The lightbulb visibly switched in her head. “Well you know her socials right? Just DM her.”
Lottie could just DM her.
She contemplated the idea for a while before nodding in agreement.
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Lottie spent the next several days composing a message for Nat in her notes. She had managed to pluck up the courage to paste the messages into their DM’s on several occasions but never found the courage to hit send.
She figured Nat having not blocked her was somewhat comforting.
The message itself had gone from a simple “I love you. I’m sorry.” All the way to over a thousand words of drivel, detailing every moment they had spent together right down to every emotion she had felt since.
Writing the messages themselves had been equal parts heartbreaking and cathartic.
Part of her knew this limbo was comforting. At least this way Lottie could still hope they stood a chance, hope that Nat once felt the same way even if those feelings had now changed.
She had wondered a handful of times if everything they had shared had been completely fabricated in her own mind. Maybe Lottie had thought they were more than they actually had been. Recalling the day they bumped into Nat’s friends in the mall didn’t help reassure her.
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Tuesday hit Lottie like a freight train.
She had been sitting on her couch, continuing to fill her notes with emotional nonsense when a notification popped up at the top of her screen.
Her heart leaped into her throat as she hovered her thumb over the email titled. “TatianaCums is Live.”
Her brain frazzled as she contemplated clicking on the email and opening up the live stream, if only to see Nat once again.
The last thing she wanted was Nat to see her join the stream by some miracle and feel even more used and disgusted by Lottie than she already did.
She knew that as long as she didn’t message, there was no way Nat would see she had been watching. Maybe she was some kind of emotional masochist because she simply couldn’t resist. She needed to see her. Not for any form of sexual gratification. She needed to see her again if only to punish herself some more.
She anxiously awaited Natalie’s arrival, staring blankly at her guilty reflection on the black screen.
Holding her breath, Lottie watched the screen light up, her heart in her throat as her eyes basked in the pixels illuminating her screen.
Lottie’s heart ached so violently at the sight of her she wondered if a heartbreak could have a body count. She hit mute before Nat had the chance to open her mouth, knowing that hearing her voice would be her undoing.
Instead she watched silently as Nat began putting on a show. She could faintly see her chest shaking, jumping up and down as trembling hands ran between her thighs.
Now moving on autopilot, her thumb reached out around her phone to unmute the stream, if only to put the final nail in her own coffin.
She could hear a faint, muffled sniffle crackling through her speakers. Lottie had heard just about every noise Natalie’s vocal cords could muster. These whimpers were far from sexual.
Was she… was she crying?
Lottie’s heart lurched from her chest as she pulled her phone closer, watching closely as Nat’s chest began rattling more vigorously, her hand vibrating between her legs.
She faintly registered a hiccup as Nat attempted to steady her breathing.
Unlike previous times Lottie had tuned in, she no longer felt indulgent. Now her only feelings were sadness. Pure, unfiltered devastation.
She was the cause of this. She broke the only woman she had ever loved and there was nothing she could do to soothe her.
For the first time in Lottie’s life she decided to be brave. If she couldn’t do it for herself she could surely do it for Nat.
She took a deep, steadying breath and switched tabs to glance over her most recent message she had composed with the hopes of plucking up the courage to send it to Natalie.
It was now or never.
As she read through her notes her doubts doubled. Suddenly every word seemed wrong, unworthy.
Before she could second guess herself and lose what little courage she had, she copied the message and reopened the stream.
Her muscles tensed as she opened up the donation tab and decided to donate the smallest amount. The last thing Nat needed was to feel bought again.
She could hear Nat’s unsteady breathing in the background, her voice wavering as she spoke. The sounds of Natalie's pain alone were enough to steal her own anxieties. Even if Nat didn’t feel the same way, at least Lottie could pray she could give her the closure she deserved. At least this way Nat would know she had always wanted her for much more than just sex.
The very moment she hit send her brain whirred savagely as she returned fully to the stream and witnessed Nat’s hand freeze along with her breathing.
Fuck. This was a bad idea. I should have just left her alone.
Nat leaned forwards slightly, reading the message across her screen, her chest still unmoving.
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WholeLotOfLesbian:
I know you probably don’t want to hear from me but I just have so much I need to say and I need you to hear it. After this, I swear I will never contact you again.
I want to start out but saying that I need you to understand that when I saw you I didn't see what you think I saw. All I thought, all I saw, was the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on.
And yes, I hoped it was you, I won’t ever deny that. But I swear to you, part of me truly believed it couldn’t be possible. I couldn’t believe that out of all the people in the world I stumbled across you in that shitty club that I know we both can’t stand.
Then I got to know you and I knew there was no denying it any longer, it just felt too late to say anything. I swear to you on everything I love, if I could go back in time and be less of a coward I would. It’s all I think about.
And yes, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to leave, but it wasn’t for the reasons you think. It was because I learned you were somehow even more beautiful on the inside, with a heart of solid gold. I know it was selfish but you are the most incredible, resilient woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing and god knows I couldn’t risk losing you.
I told you things I never told anyone, things I never even admitted to myself. You stayed with me even then, even after I told you things I swore I would never tell a soul, things I didn’t believe someone could accept. Yet there you were, looking at me like I wasn't broken but was somehow even more enthralling than you first thought.
A part of me worries I will never love someone else after you. Because I do. I love you so deeply that those words seem trivial. I still live with that same worry. I don’t think I’ll ever love like this again and I simply couldn’t move on without letting you know.
I know I broke your trust, I know I was a coward. But I swear to you, if you let me I will spend every single day rebuilding that trust.
I’m sorry.
P.s fuck I’m sorry this shit got hella long but I had far too much to say.
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Lottie could no longer remain seated. She stood abruptly, pacing around the room with her phone still in hand, watching anxiously as Nat continued to read through her donation.
She tried her hardest to seek comfort in the fact that Natalie was at least taking the time to hear her out.
Not being able to see her face was leaving her to imagine the worst.
Before Lottie could spiral any further, the screen went black.
She halted her pacing, now stiffened and remaining in place. She blinked at the blank screen for a moment before the realisation hit her. She was gone.
Her eyes began to burn as her organs sunk to her feet, taking her body with them. Her knees hit her plush carpet, hands meeting the stains Natalie had made when launching their meal across the room.
One glance down and it was over. Her tears flowed in angry sobs. Her blood curdled as she curled in on herself, her heart bursting from her chest and splattering across the rug, adding to the carnage.
That was it. Her worst fears came to fruition. She would never see or hear from Natalie again. It felt as though her heart was breaking all over again as she sobbed into the carpet. Losing Nat once was hard enough, but losing her again - for good this time - well, Lottie wasn’t sure this was something she could ever recover from.
A heavy thudding at her door ceased Lottie’s cries of agony. Her head shot up as she listened closely for further information. All she received was another loud series of thumps to her door.
She pulled herself up onto unsteady legs, wiping her face of stray tears and carding through her hair. She didn’t even need to look at herself to know her efforts to seem normal would have been fruitless.
Trudging towards the increasingly frequent banging on her door, she glanced at herself in the mirror beside her entryway. She looked like a complete wreck.
She couldn’t find it within herself to give one single fuck, given the way her chest was physically agonising. So, with a heavy sigh, she sluggishly yanked her door open.
Lottie’s lungs abandoned her as the sight of peroxide blond hair greeted her. She blinked over and over, as though her eyes must be deceiving her. The woman remained hunched over, hands on her knees and panting for breath.
“N-Nat?”
Finally the woman looked up, mascara running down her reddened cheeks.
“Did you… did you run here?” Lottie couldn’t think of anything else to say. She was really here. Her Natalie was here. This had to be a good sign right?
That or Nat was seconds away from unleashing hell on her.
Either eventuality she would relish, if only to hear her voice again. At least if Nat was angry she had to care.
Nat completely ignored Lottie’s pointless question to ask her own, one far more pressing and important.
“You- you love me?” Nat wheezed, still catching her breath.
Lottie didn’t spare a moment before responding. “Fuck yes, so much.” She breathed.
Without dawdling, Nat shot forwards, pushing Lottie through her door as her lips pressed hurriedly to hers.
The thumping in her ears was so loud she failed to hear Nat kick her door shut so harshly the paintings scattered across her walls rattled. She continued to guide Lottie further into her apartment, her hands pawing her hips.
Now Lottie was almost positive she was hallucinating as her dreams came to fruition. If it wasn’t for the twinge of pain sparking from Nat’s nails clawing at her hips she would have been sure she had forgotten her meds.
As Lottie was pressed up against the back of her couch, her mind returned to a less fussy state.
“Nat-“ Lottie mumbled against her lips. “W-wait.”
Nat pulled back in an instant, pushing herself away slightly with anxiety seeping into her features.
“I want to. I just…” Lottie stuttered, trying her hardest to hurry her thoughts along and ease Nat’s stress. “I don’t want it to be like last time.” She admitted.
Natalie’s brow furrowed in confusion before easing with the realisation of what Lottie was implying. She shook her head rapidly, swallowing her thick saliva.
“I’m so sorry. I- I swear the moment I left-“
Lottie interrupted before Nat could go any further. “No. No, don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She took a hesitant step forwards, reaching her hand out to gingerly run her thumb across Nat’s defined cheekbones. “I deserved that and so much more.”
“You didn’t. Just because you hurt me… it doesn’t make it okay.” Nat’s eyes remained downturned, unable to handle her shame.
“Hey,” Lottie cooed, tilting Nat’s head upwards to meet her gaze. “I promise. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should never… I- Nat I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I know.”
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. I meant what I said. I want to earn your trust back in any way I can.”
“I’m here aren’t I?” Nat whispered, as though that answered everything. The crease in Lottie’s brow informed Nat she needed to elaborate. “I already forgive you.”
“You do?” Lottie’s voice wobbled, her eyes stinging with unshed tears.
Natalie nodded in response, leaning forwards to rest her forehead to Lottie’s.
“I do too by the way.” Nat hushed. “I love you too.”
Lottie’s head recoiled slightly, her eyes darting between Nat’s, so desperately trying to decipher any deception.
None came.
She shot forwards in an instant, reconnecting their lips in a kiss so fierce it threatened to burn them both alive.
“I missed you so much.” Lottie murmured against Nat’s lips, both women eagerly dragging their hands across one another.
“I missed you too. So so much.”
As though moving on autopilot, the women stumbled towards Lottie’s bedroom, earnestly ridding one another of their articles of clothing one by one, revealing new expanses of flesh to explore all over again.
Lottie walked Nat backwards until her thighs made contact with the edge of the bed. Instead of pushing, Lottie guided.
They kissed all the way up to the top of the bed, until Nat’s head was resting upon her pillows with her arms encircling her shoulders, keeping their bodies flush.
Moving across Nat’s cheek, Lottie dragged her lips, occasionally placing open mouthed kisses across Nat’s jaw, down to her neck, nibbling lightly.
A hand grasping at her strands urged her on as she kissed lower, swiping her tongue across Natalie’s clavicle, humming at the salty taste, relishing in her lover.
Her lavishing persisted as she moved lower, leisurely slithering her tongue across the tops of Nat’s breast until her journey reached its first desired destination.
Lottie’s eyes flickered upwards, taking in the woman below her. Never in all her life had Lottie felt so much relief. Nat was here, under her, looking at her like she hung the stars with parted lips and hooded lids.
Their eyes stayed locked as Lottie opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, sensually dragging it across hard pink nipples. She pursed her lips as Nat’s breath stuttered, sucking lightly as she bared her teeth and tugged at the metal bar piercing.
“Lottie-“ Nat breathed, her voice oozing with longing.
“I know, baby. I’m right here.” Lottie soothed as she made her way across Nat’s chest and towards her left nipple. “I’m not going anywhere. Never again.”
Nat’s back arched as Lottie continued to shower her tits in affection, her fingers carding through brown curly locks, holding her close.
As Nat’s nipples became too sensitive to continue, Lottie relented, deciding to travel lower, licking at the antlers spanning across Nat’s ribs, lower to her navel, and applying a chaste kiss to each and every flower scattered along the way until she settled between her thighs.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how you taste, how you sound, how soft you are. Please. I want to taste you.” She confessed, her mouth leaving trails of saliva along the meat of Nat’s thighs. “I want to worship you.” She whispered reverently.
And god, was that the truest words Lottie had ever spoken. This was now her alter, and Lottie her disciple. She was more than ready to drop to her knees and cherish every second.
A gentle yet demanding tug to her hair tore her lips from their ministrations.
“But I want to worship you.” Nat argued, her voice coming out far more whiny and tender than she had anticipated.
Lottie’s canines peeked out from between her lips as she grinned. “I think we can make that work.”
She shuffled back up Natalie’s body, still applying an obscene amount of kisses to any inch she managed to miss on her way down.
“You want me on top?” Lottie questioned, her lips now hovering mere millimetres from the blonde’s.
“Yes please.”
“Okay my love.”
Just as Lottie’s muscles engaged - ready to assert her position - she was halted.
“Say it again.”
Lottie couldn’t help but huff out a gentle laugh, her smile almost reaching her ears. She bent lower, her mouth returning to Nat’s with a quick peck.
“My love.” Lottie whispered earnestly, “I love you.” She kissed Nat’s lips once again. “I love you.” One to her nose. “I love you.” One to her cheek. “I love you.” One to her chin.
Natalie giggled, and that sound alone reached into her chest and picked up every shattered piece of her heart, taping it back together so carefully the cracks hardly showed.
“Okay, okay.” Nat chuckled, her dimples on full display. “Now get your pretty ass up here.”
Lottie chuckled along as she placed one last slow kiss to Nat’s plush lips before finally turning around and straddling the blonde's face, her hands splayed on top of the ink dappled across her ivory torso.
Nat’s arms encircled her thighs, pulling her lower until her hot mouth eagerly lapped at her wet folds causing Lottie’s breath to hitch.
“Fuck I missed your mouth.” She confessed as her thighs quivered.
She could feel more than hear Nat’s contented hum in response, refusing to remove herself from her place between Lottie’s legs.
Nat’s lips then wrapped around her clit, sucking her bundle of nerves into her mouth as her tongue flicked lightly, fanning the flames roaring in the pit of Lottie’s stomach, causing a needy high pitched whimper to tumble from her parted lips. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she momentarily lost herself in the mind-bending sensation of her lover's tongue lapping at her cunt.
The sounds Lottie made were nothing short of wanton. Her throat reverberated as the moans rose, her hips moving on their own accord.
As her eyes returned to the front of her skull, she glanced down, drooling at the sight of Nat’s neatly trimmed pubic hair sticking to one another with slick.
It was at that moment that Lottie remembered why she was here in the first place. She sank lower, wrapped her arms around Nat’s thigh as her body laid flush against the woman below her.
She took a greedy deep breath in through her nose, moaning at the musky aroma she had yearned for all this time. Her mouth salivated at the scent.
She could feel her pussy beginning to ache as Nat remained unrelenting, her tongue lapping eagerly at her clit before forcing its way deep into her cunt, humming as her walls quivered around her wet muscle.
Lottie was more than aware she wouldn’t last much longer with the way Nat was devouring her whole.
Burying her head between Natalie’s thighs, Lottie flattened her tongue and slurped at her slick gluttonously, provoking a guttural moan from the woman below her. The vibrations sent delicious tingles from the base of Lottie’s spine, all the way down to the tips of her toes, causing them to curl as she ground herself down harder, almost suffocating Nat in the process.
It wasn’t as though she seemed to mind. Nat’s hands held her closer still, burying her face in Lottie’s cunt, her nose teasing at her entrance as her tongue returned to diligently massage her clit.
Lottie retracted herself from Nat’s cunt to cry out into the room as her thighs shook.
“Fuuuuck.” She whined pitifully. “I- I can’t focus with you doing that. Feels so fucking good.” She sobbed, permitting herself another brief moment before returning to the task at hand.
This time she dived in with focus, trying her damndest to ignore the throbbing building rapidly in her core, the knot in her stomach fraying as it coiled tighter and tighter.
On one particularly determined stroke of Lottie’s tongue, Nat’s head dropped to the pillow below her, her panting breath fanning against Lottie’s pussy as she whined, her hips jutting upwards, encouraging Lottie to repeat the motion.
And repeat she did. Lottie honed in on her sweet spot with the accuracy of a trained sniper, swishing her tongue expertly from side to side and sucking her pulsating clit into her mouth as she went.
“Yes. Yes. Fuck.” Nat moaned, rolling her hips, smearing herself across Lottie’s face. “Just like that. Fuck, you make me feel so good. No one… no one makes me feel like you do. God, your mouth drives me fucking crazy!”
Lottie hummed in response, loudly sucking at her pussy, ravenously lapping at her juices.
Nat was close. Lottie could tell by the way her thighs began to quiver and shake around her head, clamping and unclamping as she neared her release.
As though reading Lottie’s mind, determined to fall from the precipice together, Nat reattached her mouth to Lottie’s sensitive cunt.
She jumped at the stimulation, her body jolting forwards slightly before being pulled back by deft, greedy hands, forcing her pussy to meet Nat’s eager tongue.
The room filled with increasingly obscene sounds, whimpers and moans, slurping and grunting as they feasted on one another until the dam broke.
Neither woman could manage to continue their work as their thighs simultaneously tensed, trembling violently as they settled for humping desperately against each other's faces, prolonging their shared ecstasy until neither of them had the energy to continue.
Nat’s head flopped back onto the plush silk pillows with a huff, her breathing laboured as her lungs searched for much needed air.
Lottie rested her head upon Nat’s thighs, humming contently as she smiled to herself, feeling happier than she had in months now that the weight of her secrets was lifted and Nat had returned to her.
“Lot,” Nat mumbled, her voice raw with exertion. “I miss you.”
Lottie couldn’t help but giggle as she sluggishly shuffled around the mattress until she was laying on her back with Nat at her side, perched up on her elbow. Nat trailed her fingers across the expanse of her stomach.
Unable to remove her eyes from the woman she loved, Lottie basked in Nat’s beauty, her eyes raining down on her favourite features from her pretty eye lashes all the way to her plump lips.
She reached for Nat’s chin, unable to resist the temptation to kiss the gorgeous woman she adored.
“I love you, Natalie.” She whispered devoutly.
“I love you too, Lottie.” Nat hushed in return, burying her head into the crook of Lottie’s neck and breathing in her perfume.
“Please tell me you're going to stay.” Lottie inquired hopefully, hesitantly.
“Well you have a lot of making up to do.” Nat hummed against her throat. “So I should probably stick around and see if you can redeem yourself.”
She tore herself from her hiding place to smile cheekily at the brunette below her.
Lottie couldn’t help but roll her eyes and pulled Nat closer, settling into her warmth.
Before I discovered your fics I had never watched Yellowjackets OR Arcane and now I think I’ve read an absurd amount of Lottienat and Caitvi fics. Basically what I’m trying to say is that you inadvertently helped alter my brain chemistry and I DO NOT wish to return to who I was before
I’m honoured!! Both altered mine too so I really feel that
I’m okay. I had a hemiplegic migraine. It’s like a stroke without the aftermath. My eyes are still fucked tho. RIP. Luckily the fic is written so I dont need to stress about it.
I’m alive. Had the most insane month or so. Right after I finished writing the last chapter I was rushed to hospital. I think the ao3 curse has got me 😰😣I will finish this fic before I die dw lol
I can’t stop thinking about how you’re gonna wrap up everything in the last couple chapters. That ending of that last chapter had me shooketh. I feel sympathy for Lottie but at the same time Nat is such a diva for that power move
You will find out very soon. I have finished writing and added to the doc for the beta to work their magic
