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21+ | she/her | futch (best term for me) | writer
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lottienat (yellowjackets) | caitvi (arcane)
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(Thank you @crimsonprose for beta reading this while my OG beta is having their ass beaten by life.)
Natalie
The walk home that night was quite possibly the longest of Natalie’s life. Every step felt as though her organs had been replaced by lead weights. The heaviness was so overwhelming it caused her to drag her feet. The guilt ate away at her with every sluggish thud of her boots. Her body begged her to turn back, to apologise for leaving the same woman she loved and hated in equal parts, to ask Lottie to promise she wouldn’t hurt her again - and in an ideal world - say something that could make Nat believe her.
By the time Nat finally made it through the door to her apartment, she dropped to her knees, the tears she had held back on the endless journey home now falling liberally.
She tried to remember everything Lottie had done, tried to justify her own actions. Part of her hated Lottie even more for turning her into a person capable of that evening's actions and walking away the way she had.
Before Nat had noticed, she had managed to even the playing field. She still beat herself up for her comment regarding Lottie’s father. But she could chalk that one down to the initial shock of such a betrayal. But the way in which she callously plotted to sleep with Lottie without giving her so much as a glance, only to leave in the end… well, that she simply couldn’t find an excuse for.
No matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she told herself that what she did was justified - that Lottie deserved to hurt the way she had - she couldn’t control what was left of her heart shattering as the visual of Lottie curled up in her bed sobbing herself to sleep blurred her excuses to insignificance.
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As the days rolled by, Nat remained in a daze. Relentlessly replaying every action, every word, every thought in a desperate attempt to decipher her own feelings.
Even now, while setting up her stream for the first time in what felt like months - her money dwindling to a dangerous degree - she remained torn.
Part of her couldn’t help but love Lottie. God, she missed her. She missed everything about her. Her touch, her laughter, her kisses, her voice, her texts just to check in and show interest in Nat’s day, her effortlessly small gestures that made her swoon.
No matter how many times she wished she could just forget, she still remained tethered by the ghost of Lottie’s lips on her own. She had hoped hurting Lottie would bring her a sense of comfort, that the revenge would have been sweet. Unfortunately the revenge was nothing short of bitter, it stung her throat and tainted her tongue as it ate its way through her day by day.
She was still left wondering if Lottie even felt the same way, if she was hurting like she had been, if she had ever felt the things Nat had finally become brave enough to put into words. For all she knew Lottie could have been unaffected and moving onto the next. Meanwhile, Nat continued to stew.
Lottie hurting her was one thing, but the thought that she had never cared for her - that she used her completely without a shred of emotion sat heavy on her chest.
Apparently Nat’s love for Lottie was unconditional, because after everything, after all the pain and lies, Nat still ached for her.
It wasn’t as though Lottie had made it very hard to fall, she had seen every ugly side of herself, every scar, every grotesque wound she carried around from day to day. Lottie had even glanced into her closet crammed full of skeletons and still returned the very next day with a smile on her face and Nat’s go-to coffee order in hand.
No matter how badly Lottie had betrayed her, had hurt her beyond words, she still couldn’t shake the urge to reach out and beg her to never hurt her again, to promise she could rebuild their trust from the ground up.
She took a heavy breath, blinking away her tears and glancing at herself in the camera to ensure she looked as though she hadn’t rotted in bed for the past god knows how many days.
Although she was most certainly not in the mood to touch herself in any way shape or form, she needed the money. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been faking orgasms on stream since her first night with Lottie anyway, how hard could it be?
Once she decided she looked presentable enough, she clicked the button to begin her livestream.
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Lottie.
By some miracle Lottie managed to drag herself to and from her classes upon receiving a warning email about her lack of attendance over the past few weeks.
Although she made it into the lecture halls, she may as well have stayed home. She spent the majority of her classes inside her head overthinking and dwelling in her misery.
She missed Nat more than she had ever thought possible. She had hoped that after that night together she might have been given the chance to explain herself and apologise. Even after Nat left the way she did, a small part of her hoped Nat would decide she had made Lottie suffer enough, that she had paid her penance and would finally be able to prove herself trustworthy.
It seemed that was not going to be the case but a girl could dream.
She checked her phone religiously for days on end, praying to see Nat’s name pop up with a call, a text, anything. Unfortunately the notification never appeared - not that it deterred Lottie from continuing to pull out her phone every hour on the hour just in case.
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“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t seriously still be sulking over Nat.” Jackie snapped after the fourth brunch in a row that consisted of Jackie essentially talking to herself - Shauna only offering the odd grunt of acknowledgement.
Lottie simply shrugged and poked at her food.
Realising her harsh tone wasn’t going to get a response so easily she continued to pry more gently this time. “I know you loved her, Lot, but you can’t just stew over her forever.”
Lottie peered up at that, quick to set the record straight. “I didn’t love her past tense, Jackie. I love her now. I’m sorry my misery is coming between you and your brunch but I can’t help how badly this hurts. You don’t think I wish I could just move on? You think I haven’t considered that already?”
Jackie blinked a couple of times, stunned into silence as she contemplated her next words carefully. She glanced across the table at her girlfriend who hadn’t even bothered to look up from her book, seemingly having checked out of their conversation long before Lottie’s outburst.
Never had she seen Lottie this sad for this long over anything. In fact, Jackie had become more accustomed to the version of Lottie that seemed unfazed by most things, that never seemed to care for anyone enough to waste time being upset when they left - or, in most cases, when she left them.
It swiftly became clear to Jackie that of course Lottie did allow things to bother her, just as strongly, if not more so than the average person - that she didn’t possess a gift that caused her not to care, but a curse that made her excel in bottling emotions up and keeping them to herself.
Lottie returned her attention to sliding her food across her plate with the tip of her fork and stared blankly as though she hadn’t just emotionally burst in front of Jackie’s very eyes.
A hand ceased her fork’s movements and she glanced up to the owner of said hand. Jackie held a gentle smile as she ran her thumb soothingly over the back of her hand until she eventually dropped the fork.
“I’m sorry.” Lottie breathed, “I just… I can’t move on Jax. I just can’t.” She shook her head with a sigh before confessing, “I miss her so fucking much.”
Lottie thanked God herself for allowing her to seemingly run out of tears at this very moment, saving herself from further embarrassment.
“I know… I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just hate seeing you like this. You won’t let us help.” Jackie cooed, continuing to run her thumb over the back of Lottie’s hand.
Lottie shook her head once again as she swallowed thickly, trying her best to remain stoic and maintain what little composure she had left. “There’s nothing you can do. She hates my fucking guts and I’m over here with nothing but love for her. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“Have you tried talking to her yet?”
“That night at the club. She came home with me. She didn’t even look at me, wouldn’t even take her clothes off.” Lottie confessed, her face downturned as she blinked away tears at the memory.
“After… I tried to talk to her. She just left. I thought maybe after that she might reach out, that maybe she would feel like she got even in some fucked up way.” Lottie swallowed the bile rising in her throat once more before adding. “I’d do anything to just tell her I’m sorry, to tell her that I love her.”
“I-“ Jackie stuttered, clearly lost for words.
“Jesus fucking christ.” Shauna groaned, slamming her book down on the table so harshly their cups rattled.
Both women jumped simultaneously at the abrupt interruption, staring wide eyed at the culprit.
“You said you want to tell her you're sorry and that you love her, yes?” Shauna questioned.
Lottie slowly nodded her head, still somewhat stunned. Partly because Shauna was actually listening to their conversation and party due to the jump scare.
“Okay… and did it ever occur to you that you could just… do that?” Shauna stared, her voice making the idea seem a lot more simple than it had within Lottie’s mind. “For a smart girl you’re being a real dumb bitch right now.”
Okay, ouch. Lottie visibly shot back in her seat as though the verbal lashing physically whipped her. It wasn’t like Lottie expected Shauna to sugarcoat it - hell - Lottie couldn’t remember a single occasion where Shauna opened her mouth with the intention of tip-toeing around someone's emotions. Maybe she was being a “dumb bitch” and only Shauna would be capable of insulting her in such a loving way.
“Well- I-“ She stuttered in response. “It’s not that simple.”
Shauna rolled her eyes briefly as she returned her attention back towards her book, speaking as she located her previously abandoned page. “Of course it is. Just tell her and live happily ever after or move the fuck on. At least then you know where you stand.”
With that, Shauna returned to her page, leaving Lottie and Jackie staring blankly at her for a long moment before glancing back towards each other. Jackie offered nothing but a shrug, leaving Lottie to decide whether to take Shauna’s advice or not.
She figured it couldn’t hurt, it wasn’t like things could possibly get worse. Although the closure would bring peace in the long run, part of Lottie knew that once she admitted her feelings she could no longer take them back.
If Nat were to deny her apology - and worse still not reciprocate said emotions - Lottie wasn’t sure she could survive such devastation.
In the end Lottie knew her options were misery or the slightest chance of happiness.
“Okay.” Lottie finally whispered, now playing with the rings on her fingers anxiously.
Jackie sighed a breath of relief. “Okay thank god. I wanted you to make your own decision but I can’t pretend this isn’t your best… only option.”
Lottie nodded along, already mentally wondering what the hell she was going to say to Nat given the opportunity.
“There is one… little problem.” She mumbled regretfully.
Jackie raised a brow and awaited Lottie’s next confession.
“Well… after that night at the club, I was really hurt. She never text or called afterwards. I figured she got her pound of flesh, that she really did hate me and never wanted to see me again. So… I deleted her number.”
Jackie weighed up the options in her head before coming to a conclusion. “You know where she lives though. You could just go over there and speak to her face to face.”
Lottie’s eyes widened at the thought, her body thrumming with anxiety. She rapidly shook her head in protest. “Fuck no. No way. She’d probably slam the door in my face before I said hello. Nope. Not doing that.”
“Hmmm…” Jackie tapped her pointer finger against her bottom lip as she conjured up any other means of communication. The lightbulb visibly switched in her head. “Well you know her socials right? Just DM her.”
Lottie could just DM her.
She contemplated the idea for a while before nodding in agreement.
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Lottie spent the next several days composing a message for Nat in her notes. She had managed to pluck up the courage to paste the messages into their DM’s on several occasions but never found the courage to hit send.
She figured Nat having not blocked her was somewhat comforting.
The message itself had gone from a simple “I love you. I’m sorry.” All the way to over a thousand words of drivel, detailing every moment they had spent together right down to every emotion she had felt since.
Writing the messages themselves had been equal parts heartbreaking and cathartic.
Part of her knew this limbo was comforting. At least this way Lottie could still hope they stood a chance, hope that Nat once felt the same way even if those feelings had now changed.
She had wondered a handful of times if everything they had shared had been completely fabricated in her own mind. Maybe Lottie had thought they were more than they actually had been. Recalling the day they bumped into Nat’s friends in the mall didn’t help reassure her.
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Tuesday hit Lottie like a freight train.
She had been sitting on her couch, continuing to fill her notes with emotional nonsense when a notification popped up at the top of her screen.
Her heart leaped into her throat as she hovered her thumb over the email titled. “TatianaCums is Live.”
Her brain frazzled as she contemplated clicking on the email and opening up the live stream, if only to see Nat once again.
The last thing she wanted was Nat to see her join the stream by some miracle and feel even more used and disgusted by Lottie than she already did.
She knew that as long as she didn’t message, there was no way Nat would see she had been watching. Maybe she was some kind of emotional masochist because she simply couldn’t resist. She needed to see her. Not for any form of sexual gratification. She needed to see her again if only to punish herself some more.
She anxiously awaited Natalie’s arrival, staring blankly at her guilty reflection on the black screen.
Holding her breath, Lottie watched the screen light up, her heart in her throat as her eyes basked in the pixels illuminating her screen.
Lottie’s heart ached so violently at the sight of her she wondered if a heartbreak could have a body count. She hit mute before Nat had the chance to open her mouth, knowing that hearing her voice would be her undoing.
Instead she watched silently as Nat began putting on a show. She could faintly see her chest shaking, jumping up and down as trembling hands ran between her thighs.
Now moving on autopilot, her thumb reached out around her phone to unmute the stream, if only to put the final nail in her own coffin.
She could hear a faint, muffled sniffle crackling through her speakers. Lottie had heard just about every noise Natalie’s vocal cords could muster. These whimpers were far from sexual.
Was she… was she crying?
Lottie’s heart lurched from her chest as she pulled her phone closer, watching closely as Nat’s chest began rattling more vigorously, her hand vibrating between her legs.
She faintly registered a hiccup as Nat attempted to steady her breathing.
Unlike previous times Lottie had tuned in, she no longer felt indulgent. Now her only feelings were sadness. Pure, unfiltered devastation.
She was the cause of this. She broke the only woman she had ever loved and there was nothing she could do to soothe her.
For the first time in Lottie’s life she decided to be brave. If she couldn’t do it for herself she could surely do it for Nat.
She took a deep, steadying breath and switched tabs to glance over her most recent message she had composed with the hopes of plucking up the courage to send it to Natalie.
It was now or never.
As she read through her notes her doubts doubled. Suddenly every word seemed wrong, unworthy.
Before she could second guess herself and lose what little courage she had, she copied the message and reopened the stream.
Her muscles tensed as she opened up the donation tab and decided to donate the smallest amount. The last thing Nat needed was to feel bought again.
She could hear Nat’s unsteady breathing in the background, her voice wavering as she spoke. The sounds of Natalie's pain alone were enough to steal her own anxieties. Even if Nat didn’t feel the same way, at least Lottie could pray she could give her the closure she deserved. At least this way Nat would know she had always wanted her for much more than just sex.
The very moment she hit send her brain whirred savagely as she returned fully to the stream and witnessed Nat’s hand freeze along with her breathing.
Fuck. This was a bad idea. I should have just left her alone.
Nat leaned forwards slightly, reading the message across her screen, her chest still unmoving.
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WholeLotOfLesbian:
I know you probably don’t want to hear from me but I just have so much I need to say and I need you to hear it. After this, I swear I will never contact you again.
I want to start out but saying that I need you to understand that when I saw you I didn't see what you think I saw. All I thought, all I saw, was the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on.
And yes, I hoped it was you, I won’t ever deny that. But I swear to you, part of me truly believed it couldn’t be possible. I couldn’t believe that out of all the people in the world I stumbled across you in that shitty club that I know we both can’t stand.
Then I got to know you and I knew there was no denying it any longer, it just felt too late to say anything. I swear to you on everything I love, if I could go back in time and be less of a coward I would. It’s all I think about.
And yes, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to leave, but it wasn’t for the reasons you think. It was because I learned you were somehow even more beautiful on the inside, with a heart of solid gold. I know it was selfish but you are the most incredible, resilient woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing and god knows I couldn’t risk losing you.
I told you things I never told anyone, things I never even admitted to myself. You stayed with me even then, even after I told you things I swore I would never tell a soul, things I didn’t believe someone could accept. Yet there you were, looking at me like I wasn't broken but was somehow even more enthralling than you first thought.
A part of me worries I will never love someone else after you. Because I do. I love you so deeply that those words seem trivial. I still live with that same worry. I don’t think I’ll ever love like this again and I simply couldn’t move on without letting you know.
I know I broke your trust, I know I was a coward. But I swear to you, if you let me I will spend every single day rebuilding that trust.
I’m sorry.
P.s fuck I’m sorry this shit got hella long but I had far too much to say.
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Lottie could no longer remain seated. She stood abruptly, pacing around the room with her phone still in hand, watching anxiously as Nat continued to read through her donation.
She tried her hardest to seek comfort in the fact that Natalie was at least taking the time to hear her out.
Not being able to see her face was leaving her to imagine the worst.
Before Lottie could spiral any further, the screen went black.
She halted her pacing, now stiffened and remaining in place. She blinked at the blank screen for a moment before the realisation hit her. She was gone.
Her eyes began to burn as her organs sunk to her feet, taking her body with them. Her knees hit her plush carpet, hands meeting the stains Natalie had made when launching their meal across the room.
One glance down and it was over. Her tears flowed in angry sobs. Her blood curdled as she curled in on herself, her heart bursting from her chest and splattering across the rug, adding to the carnage.
That was it. Her worst fears came to fruition. She would never see or hear from Natalie again. It felt as though her heart was breaking all over again as she sobbed into the carpet. Losing Nat once was hard enough, but losing her again - for good this time - well, Lottie wasn’t sure this was something she could ever recover from.
A heavy thudding at her door ceased Lottie’s cries of agony. Her head shot up as she listened closely for further information. All she received was another loud series of thumps to her door.
She pulled herself up onto unsteady legs, wiping her face of stray tears and carding through her hair. She didn’t even need to look at herself to know her efforts to seem normal would have been fruitless.
Trudging towards the increasingly frequent banging on her door, she glanced at herself in the mirror beside her entryway. She looked like a complete wreck.
She couldn’t find it within herself to give one single fuck, given the way her chest was physically agonising. So, with a heavy sigh, she sluggishly yanked her door open.
Lottie’s lungs abandoned her as the sight of peroxide blond hair greeted her. She blinked over and over, as though her eyes must be deceiving her. The woman remained hunched over, hands on her knees and panting for breath.
“N-Nat?”
Finally the woman looked up, mascara running down her reddened cheeks.
“Did you… did you run here?” Lottie couldn’t think of anything else to say. She was really here. Her Natalie was here. This had to be a good sign right?
That or Nat was seconds away from unleashing hell on her.
Either eventuality she would relish, if only to hear her voice again. At least if Nat was angry she had to care.
Nat completely ignored Lottie’s pointless question to ask her own, one far more pressing and important.
“You- you love me?” Nat wheezed, still catching her breath.
Lottie didn’t spare a moment before responding. “Fuck yes, so much.” She breathed.
Without dawdling, Nat shot forwards, pushing Lottie through her door as her lips pressed hurriedly to hers.
The thumping in her ears was so loud she failed to hear Nat kick her door shut so harshly the paintings scattered across her walls rattled. She continued to guide Lottie further into her apartment, her hands pawing her hips.
Now Lottie was almost positive she was hallucinating as her dreams came to fruition. If it wasn’t for the twinge of pain sparking from Nat’s nails clawing at her hips she would have been sure she had forgotten her meds.
As Lottie was pressed up against the back of her couch, her mind returned to a less fussy state.
“Nat-“ Lottie mumbled against her lips. “W-wait.”
Nat pulled back in an instant, pushing herself away slightly with anxiety seeping into her features.
“I want to. I just…” Lottie stuttered, trying her hardest to hurry her thoughts along and ease Nat’s stress. “I don’t want it to be like last time.” She admitted.
Natalie’s brow furrowed in confusion before easing with the realisation of what Lottie was implying. She shook her head rapidly, swallowing her thick saliva.
“I’m so sorry. I- I swear the moment I left-“
Lottie interrupted before Nat could go any further. “No. No, don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She took a hesitant step forwards, reaching her hand out to gingerly run her thumb across Nat’s defined cheekbones. “I deserved that and so much more.”
“You didn’t. Just because you hurt me… it doesn’t make it okay.” Nat’s eyes remained downturned, unable to handle her shame.
“Hey,” Lottie cooed, tilting Nat’s head upwards to meet her gaze. “I promise. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should never… I- Nat I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I know.”
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. I meant what I said. I want to earn your trust back in any way I can.”
“I’m here aren’t I?” Nat whispered, as though that answered everything. The crease in Lottie’s brow informed Nat she needed to elaborate. “I already forgive you.”
“You do?” Lottie’s voice wobbled, her eyes stinging with unshed tears.
Natalie nodded in response, leaning forwards to rest her forehead to Lottie’s.
“I do too by the way.” Nat hushed. “I love you too.”
Lottie’s head recoiled slightly, her eyes darting between Nat’s, so desperately trying to decipher any deception.
None came.
She shot forwards in an instant, reconnecting their lips in a kiss so fierce it threatened to burn them both alive.
“I missed you so much.” Lottie murmured against Nat’s lips, both women eagerly dragging their hands across one another.
“I missed you too. So so much.”
As though moving on autopilot, the women stumbled towards Lottie’s bedroom, earnestly ridding one another of their articles of clothing one by one, revealing new expanses of flesh to explore all over again.
Lottie walked Nat backwards until her thighs made contact with the edge of the bed. Instead of pushing, Lottie guided.
They kissed all the way up to the top of the bed, until Nat’s head was resting upon her pillows with her arms encircling her shoulders, keeping their bodies flush.
Moving across Nat’s cheek, Lottie dragged her lips, occasionally placing open mouthed kisses across Nat’s jaw, down to her neck, nibbling lightly.
A hand grasping at her strands urged her on as she kissed lower, swiping her tongue across Natalie’s clavicle, humming at the salty taste, relishing in her lover.
Her lavishing persisted as she moved lower, leisurely slithering her tongue across the tops of Nat’s breast until her journey reached its first desired destination.
Lottie’s eyes flickered upwards, taking in the woman below her. Never in all her life had Lottie felt so much relief. Nat was here, under her, looking at her like she hung the stars with parted lips and hooded lids.
Their eyes stayed locked as Lottie opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, sensually dragging it across hard pink nipples. She pursed her lips as Nat’s breath stuttered, sucking lightly as she bared her teeth and tugged at the metal bar piercing.
“Lottie-“ Nat breathed, her voice oozing with longing.
“I know, baby. I’m right here.” Lottie soothed as she made her way across Nat’s chest and towards her left nipple. “I’m not going anywhere. Never again.”
Nat’s back arched as Lottie continued to shower her tits in affection, her fingers carding through brown curly locks, holding her close.
As Nat’s nipples became too sensitive to continue, Lottie relented, deciding to travel lower, licking at the antlers spanning across Nat’s ribs, lower to her navel, and applying a chaste kiss to each and every flower scattered along the way until she settled between her thighs.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how you taste, how you sound, how soft you are. Please. I want to taste you.” She confessed, her mouth leaving trails of saliva along the meat of Nat’s thighs. “I want to worship you.” She whispered reverently.
And god, was that the truest words Lottie had ever spoken. This was now her alter, and Lottie her disciple. She was more than ready to drop to her knees and cherish every second.
A gentle yet demanding tug to her hair tore her lips from their ministrations.
“But I want to worship you.” Nat argued, her voice coming out far more whiny and tender than she had anticipated.
Lottie’s canines peeked out from between her lips as she grinned. “I think we can make that work.”
She shuffled back up Natalie’s body, still applying an obscene amount of kisses to any inch she managed to miss on her way down.
“You want me on top?” Lottie questioned, her lips now hovering mere millimetres from the blonde’s.
“Yes please.”
“Okay my love.”
Just as Lottie’s muscles engaged - ready to assert her position - she was halted.
“Say it again.”
Lottie couldn’t help but huff out a gentle laugh, her smile almost reaching her ears. She bent lower, her mouth returning to Nat’s with a quick peck.
“My love.” Lottie whispered earnestly, “I love you.” She kissed Nat’s lips once again. “I love you.” One to her nose. “I love you.” One to her cheek. “I love you.” One to her chin.
Natalie giggled, and that sound alone reached into her chest and picked up every shattered piece of her heart, taping it back together so carefully the cracks hardly showed.
“Okay, okay.” Nat chuckled, her dimples on full display. “Now get your pretty ass up here.”
Lottie chuckled along as she placed one last slow kiss to Nat’s plush lips before finally turning around and straddling the blonde's face, her hands splayed on top of the ink dappled across her ivory torso.
Nat’s arms encircled her thighs, pulling her lower until her hot mouth eagerly lapped at her wet folds causing Lottie’s breath to hitch.
“Fuck I missed your mouth.” She confessed as her thighs quivered.
She could feel more than hear Nat’s contented hum in response, refusing to remove herself from her place between Lottie’s legs.
Nat’s lips then wrapped around her clit, sucking her bundle of nerves into her mouth as her tongue flicked lightly, fanning the flames roaring in the pit of Lottie’s stomach, causing a needy high pitched whimper to tumble from her parted lips. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she momentarily lost herself in the mind-bending sensation of her lover's tongue lapping at her cunt.
The sounds Lottie made were nothing short of wanton. Her throat reverberated as the moans rose, her hips moving on their own accord.
As her eyes returned to the front of her skull, she glanced down, drooling at the sight of Nat’s neatly trimmed pubic hair sticking to one another with slick.
It was at that moment that Lottie remembered why she was here in the first place. She sank lower, wrapped her arms around Nat’s thigh as her body laid flush against the woman below her.
She took a greedy deep breath in through her nose, moaning at the musky aroma she had yearned for all this time. Her mouth salivated at the scent.
She could feel her pussy beginning to ache as Nat remained unrelenting, her tongue lapping eagerly at her clit before forcing its way deep into her cunt, humming as her walls quivered around her wet muscle.
Lottie was more than aware she wouldn’t last much longer with the way Nat was devouring her whole.
Burying her head between Natalie’s thighs, Lottie flattened her tongue and slurped at her slick gluttonously, provoking a guttural moan from the woman below her. The vibrations sent delicious tingles from the base of Lottie’s spine, all the way down to the tips of her toes, causing them to curl as she ground herself down harder, almost suffocating Nat in the process.
It wasn’t as though she seemed to mind. Nat’s hands held her closer still, burying her face in Lottie’s cunt, her nose teasing at her entrance as her tongue returned to diligently massage her clit.
Lottie retracted herself from Nat’s cunt to cry out into the room as her thighs shook.
“Fuuuuck.” She whined pitifully. “I- I can’t focus with you doing that. Feels so fucking good.” She sobbed, permitting herself another brief moment before returning to the task at hand.
This time she dived in with focus, trying her damndest to ignore the throbbing building rapidly in her core, the knot in her stomach fraying as it coiled tighter and tighter.
On one particularly determined stroke of Lottie’s tongue, Nat’s head dropped to the pillow below her, her panting breath fanning against Lottie’s pussy as she whined, her hips jutting upwards, encouraging Lottie to repeat the motion.
And repeat she did. Lottie honed in on her sweet spot with the accuracy of a trained sniper, swishing her tongue expertly from side to side and sucking her pulsating clit into her mouth as she went.
“Yes. Yes. Fuck.” Nat moaned, rolling her hips, smearing herself across Lottie’s face. “Just like that. Fuck, you make me feel so good. No one… no one makes me feel like you do. God, your mouth drives me fucking crazy!”
Lottie hummed in response, loudly sucking at her pussy, ravenously lapping at her juices.
Nat was close. Lottie could tell by the way her thighs began to quiver and shake around her head, clamping and unclamping as she neared her release.
As though reading Lottie’s mind, determined to fall from the precipice together, Nat reattached her mouth to Lottie’s sensitive cunt.
She jumped at the stimulation, her body jolting forwards slightly before being pulled back by deft, greedy hands, forcing her pussy to meet Nat’s eager tongue.
The room filled with increasingly obscene sounds, whimpers and moans, slurping and grunting as they feasted on one another until the dam broke.
Neither woman could manage to continue their work as their thighs simultaneously tensed, trembling violently as they settled for humping desperately against each other's faces, prolonging their shared ecstasy until neither of them had the energy to continue.
Nat’s head flopped back onto the plush silk pillows with a huff, her breathing laboured as her lungs searched for much needed air.
Lottie rested her head upon Nat’s thighs, humming contently as she smiled to herself, feeling happier than she had in months now that the weight of her secrets was lifted and Nat had returned to her.
“Lot,” Nat mumbled, her voice raw with exertion. “I miss you.”
Lottie couldn’t help but giggle as she sluggishly shuffled around the mattress until she was laying on her back with Nat at her side, perched up on her elbow. Nat trailed her fingers across the expanse of her stomach.
Unable to remove her eyes from the woman she loved, Lottie basked in Nat’s beauty, her eyes raining down on her favourite features from her pretty eye lashes all the way to her plump lips.
She reached for Nat’s chin, unable to resist the temptation to kiss the gorgeous woman she adored.
“I love you, Natalie.” She whispered devoutly.
“I love you too, Lottie.” Nat hushed in return, burying her head into the crook of Lottie’s neck and breathing in her perfume.
“Please tell me you're going to stay.” Lottie inquired hopefully, hesitantly.
“Well you have a lot of making up to do.” Nat hummed against her throat. “So I should probably stick around and see if you can redeem yourself.”
She tore herself from her hiding place to smile cheekily at the brunette below her.
Lottie couldn’t help but roll her eyes and pulled Nat closer, settling into her warmth.
Needed a little writing warmup, so I present to you:
Stonerjackets
(Yellowjackets pre-crash stoner headcanons)
Nat: The most seasoned of the Stonerjackets (obviously). Constantly rolling the joints, rolling the blunts, packing the bowls. NEVER holds up or breaks the rotation; smokes while she rolls. Gets the most shit from everyone else when she does end up coughing, even though she coughs the least out of the Stonerjackets.
Van: Has hung out with Nat often enough that puff-puff-pass is second nature, no matter how deep into a conversation she is. Can roll a joint if needed. Equally funny when stoned and when not, but does voices more when baked. Will accidentally steal a lighter from time to time.
Tai: Almost never coughs because every hit is taken with calculated precision to ensure it. Won’t let how baked she is show, so her usual tells are how red her eyes are and how long she lets herself stare at Van when she thinks no one is looking. Makes sure no one hogs the piece/joint/etc.
Jackie: Lightweight; starts talking louder when stoned. “You know what we should do, you guys?” and never follows through (usually for the better).
Shauna: Gets cuddlier (with Jackie especially) when stoned. Sometimes gets writing inspiration and has to jot it down right then and there or she WILL forget.
Travis: Has a dedicated jacket he wears when smoking and hides in it the bushes at home so his dad won’t suspect. Likes to blow smoke rings just to poke them. Tries to out-smoke Nat and rarely does. Won’t realize how baked he is until he stands up/sits down.
Lottie: Good at making it seem like she’s smoking more than she actually is. Does a French inhale nine times out of ten. Usually the one pushing for a spliff instead of a joint. Brings the snacks because she almost always gets the munchies.
Misty: Wasn’t invited, but overheard the plan and insists she won’t tell anyone as long as they let her have some. Talks a mile a minute to anyone who will listen (and some who won’t) after one (1) hit and three uninterrupted minutes of coughing.
Laura Lee: Here for the camaraderie. Doesn’t partake, but does end up getting hotboxed half the time and gets very giggly.
Mari: Will babysit a bong if that’s what’s being passed around; has heard “How much are you getting paid?” (“To babysit that bong!”) a million times and still gets confused. Says “This isn’t even that strong” while also forgetting what she was about to do/say.
-
Tag list (thank you!)
@jackiesnats , @totalpyjamacat , @xthesweetdreamerx , also gonna go out on a limb here and tag @bug-gribble
Needed a little writing warmup, so I present to you:
Stonerjackets
(Yellowjackets pre-crash stoner headcanons)
Nat: The most seasoned of the Stonerjackets (obviously). Constantly rolling the joints, rolling the blunts, packing the bowls. NEVER holds up or breaks the rotation; smokes while she rolls. Gets the most shit from everyone else when she does end up coughing, even though she coughs the least out of the Stonerjackets.
Van: Has hung out with Nat often enough that puff-puff-pass is second nature, no matter how deep into a conversation she is. Can roll a joint if needed. Equally funny when stoned and when not, but does voices more when baked. Will accidentally steal a lighter from time to time.
Tai: Almost never coughs because every hit is taken with calculated precision to ensure it. Won’t let how baked she is show, so her usual tells are how red her eyes are and how long she lets herself stare at Van when she thinks no one is looking. Makes sure no one hogs the piece/joint/etc.
Jackie: Lightweight; starts talking louder when stoned. “You know what we should do, you guys?” and never follows through (usually for the better).
Shauna: Gets cuddlier (with Jackie especially) when stoned. Sometimes gets writing inspiration and has to jot it down right then and there or she WILL forget.
Travis: Has a dedicated jacket he wears when smoking and hides in it the bushes at home so his dad won’t suspect. Likes to blow smoke rings just to poke them. Tries to out-smoke Nat and rarely does. Won’t realize how baked he is until he stands up/sits down.
Lottie: Good at making it seem like she’s smoking more than she actually is. Does a French inhale nine times out of ten. Usually the one pushing for a spliff instead of a joint. Brings the snacks because she almost always gets the munchies.
Misty: Wasn’t invited, but overheard the plan and insists she won’t tell anyone as long as they let her have some. Talks a mile a minute to anyone who will listen (and some who won’t) after one (1) hit and three uninterrupted minutes of coughing.
Laura Lee: Here for the camaraderie. Doesn’t partake, but does end up getting hotboxed half the time and gets very giggly.
Mari: Will babysit a bong if that’s what’s being passed around; has heard “How much are you getting paid?” (“To babysit that bong!”) a million times and still gets confused. Says “This isn’t even that strong” while also forgetting what she was about to do/say.
-
Tag list (thank you!)
@jackiesnats , @totalpyjamacat , @xthesweetdreamerx , also gonna go out on a limb here and tag @bug-gribble
so I wrote this wilderness cannibalism lottienat fic the other day, which I'm really proud of (but read the tags first!) ...
but I started writing a different lottienat cannibalism fic first, set in the adult timeline, and it's a lot more comedic (at least, I think it is?).
decided to post it here instead of ao3, if anyone is interested. there's no smut because I never got that far.
Lottie had been complaining about their mailman for a long time. Every day when Nat got home from working at the bike shop, it was the first thing she had to hear about.
“He yelled at Flower again,” Lottie would say, meaning their two-year-old chihuahua, whom Nat refused to call Flower and had named Spike instead.
The dog’s name was only one of many long-standing disagreements between them. Lottie also believed that Pearl Jam had been better than Nirvana, that they for some reason needed a thousand useless decorative pillows on their bed, and that burning sage would rid the house of “bad energy.” Lottie believed a lot of things, in fact, that Nat could only shake her head at. Lately, it had been about the mailman.
“I’ve tried to keep her in the house when he comes around,” Lottie would say next, lowering her chin in that way that said she meant business. “But I swear that man is varying his route on purpose just to terrorize our dog.”
And every day, Nat would try not to roll her eyes, because she was almost sure Lottie had been exaggerating. They had lived in the same house for almost five years, and she had never once had an issue with Mr. Kowalczyk. He had always seemed like a nice enough man to her.
That only changed once she came back from her annual weekend trip to the motorcycle mechanics convention, and she finally saw proof with her own eyes. She sat her helmet down in its usual spot beside their front door and immediately saw Spike, looking pathetic in her fluffy purple dog bed. A tiny little chihuahua-sized cast covered one of her legs, and her pouty eyes shot up at Nat as she walked in the door as if to say, “Where the fuck have you been, Mom? Lookit what they did to me!”
“Lottie!” she called out, panic rising in her chest. She could smell something cooking from inside the kitchen, and the scent somehow seemed both familiar and not familiar at the same time. Definitely not one of her wife’s usual dishes.
The kitchen door then swung open, and out walked Lottie, wiping her hands on an apron decorated by tiny moons. She smiled at Nat and said, “Hi, baby,” but her smile quickly faded as her eyes fell down on Spike. “I told you our mailman was a menace,” she said next, shaking her head.
“Jesus fucking christ, Lottie! Is she okay? Why didn’t you call me? Did you at least call the police or something?”
Nat didn’t even notice she was swinging her arms around like a maniac until Lottie calmly crossed the room and took her hands, stilling her motions. “Natalie…” she said.
“Natalie…” was all she ever had to say, in that silky-smooth voice that sounded like the slow-drip of honey, and Nat immediately felt her limbs go a little weak. She looked up and found Lottie with a soft smile on her face, eyes full of tenderness and compassion.
“I promise you, Flower is fine,” assured Lottie.
“You mean Spike,” corrected Nat, with a half-smile back at her.
Lottie let out a little huff, almost imperceptible, along with the quick eye-roll that ever-so-briefly gave away her true feelings regarding their on-going battle over the dog’s name. But as quickly as all that had appeared, her expression shifted back to monk-like status, and she was all kindness and patience again.
“Our dog is fine,” said Lottie, giving her hands a squeeze before dropping them. “The vet said she’ll heal quickly. I didn’t call you because I saw no reason to worry you when you were that far away from home. I didn’t call the police because… well… since when have they helped anyone? Let’s be honest.”
“So, what?” asked Nat, furrowing her brow. “He’s just going to get away with it? What did he do to her anyway? Did you see it happen?”
Lottie seemed to cringe inwardly at the question, like just thinking about it made her angry all over again. “Don’t worry,” she then said, cracking her neck reflexively. “I took care of it.”
And something in her eyes changed. Something sparked behind them, like fireworks had gone off. Her voice deepened. Her smile went crooked.
Not a lot about her wife surprised her anymore. Shit, they had both seen each other at their best and their worst more times than she could count. But she hadn’t seen Lottie get that look in her eyes for so long, it literally gave her chills for a second.
“What do you mean you ‘took care of it’?” asked Nat, not even bothering to mask her suspicion.
Lottie shrugged, feigning innocence and doing a terrible job at it. “You really don’t need to worry about it, I promise. Our dog just needs to rest, and we…” Taking Nat’’s hands again, she flashed a softer smile and started tugging her toward the kitchen. “We need to eat. You must be famished after such a long flight… and that ride home. C’mon.”
Nat had failed to notice before— she’d been too distracted by the sight of their dog in his tiny cast to even care. But, once Lottie turned around to open the kitchen door, her eyes were immediately drawn to the bareness of her wife’s ass, covered only by apron strings and a purple lace thong. Nat heard herself breathe out, “Holy fucking christ” and dragged a wide-eyed gaze up her muscular back. The band of a matching purple lace bra was the only thing obstructing her view from the naturally tanned skin she had just spent three long days missing in agony.
“Nice to come home to?” asked Lottie, who nonchalantly moved to the stovetop to stir some vegetables, knowing full well the answer to that question by now.
In the meantime, Nat sat down at their kitchen table, never once taking her eyes off her wife. “Three days is a long time to be away from you,” she agreed, smiling slyly. “But you don’t usually greet me dressed quite like… this… unless you’re trying to distract me from finding out about something you’d rather me not know.”
Lottie made a noise at that and turned to shoot her a look of disbelief. “I would never do such a thing. Name one time…”
“Two years ago,” interrupted Nat, clearing her throat. “I came home from the shop, if you will recall, and you had set up a candlelight dinner ‘for no reason at all’. Sound familiar?”
With a warmer smile, Lottie leaned against the stove and said, “Ah yes. The day I brought Flower home,” with enough nostalgia in her voice to power a period piece.
“You mean Spike,” corrected Nat, trying to hide her amusement.
Another quick eyeroll followed from Lottie, but she turned back to the stove before Nat could see the rest of her expression. “Whatever,” she said. “So I may have used my feminine wiles that one time…”
Nat chortled at that, interrupting her once again. “Feminine wiles? Really? That’s what we’re calling it?”
She was trying to rile Lottie up on purpose, of course. It was an on-brand part of their relationship that stretched much farther back than just their marriage. But it wasn’t working as well this time. Lottie stiffened a little, but she otherwise appeared unbothered by the barb.
In fact, she even let out a smug little huff of laughter and said, “Call it what you will. Whatever you choose to call it will not change the effectiveness of the ploy.”
“So, you admit it’s a ploy,” said Nat. She reached for an apple from the fruit bowl in the center of the table. As her arm stretched out, she noticed a small card. A recipe card.
Since when had Lottie collected recipe cards? She usually clipped them out of magazines, piled them in the junk drawer, and promptly forgot about them.
“Maybe I was just trying to make sure you had something to look forward to,” offered Lottie, still keeping watch over her pot of steaming vegetables. “I knew I would have to tell you about Flower’s injury as soon as you came home, and I knew how much it would upset you. But I also knew we had nothing to worry about— that she would be fine in a few weeks— so… why not provide a distraction? What harm could it do?”
And then she turned back around to face Nat with one eyebrow seductively raised and said, in a voice that sounded as smooth as expensive whiskey, “Are you saying the ploy doesn’t work anymore?”
Now it was Nat’s turn to let out a huff of laughter, because— Lottie had her on that one.
It worked every fucking time, and Nat already knew it would probably work this time too, but that wasn’t the point.
“Lottie,” said Nat, her smile still twitching in amusement. “What did you mean when you said you ‘took care’ of the mailman?”
“Oh, are we still talking about that?” said Lottie, eyes widening in feigned surprise.
Nat let out another laugh and shook her head. She had two fingers on the recipe card. In one swift motion, she picked it up and showed it to Lottie. “What’s this?” she asked.
“A recipe card,” Lottie replied, looking at Nat like this fact should be obvious, even though Nat could see her trembling a little beneath the facade.
“This isn’t your handwriting,” Nat pointed out, glancing at it for dramatic effect before looking back at her. “It’s way too chicken scratch. You write with big loops. And I have never once seen you with a card like this. This is like… some serious housewife shit, Lot.”
“Am I not a housewife?” asked Lottie, who looked a little offended.
Nat tried not to laugh at that, shaking her head instead. “You are a wife who spends time in the house. I’ll give you that much.”
Lottie grabbed the nearest towel and snapped her on the arm, saying, “Oh, you!” But they both ended up laughing, even though Nat was still rubbing at the sting on her arm a few minutes later.
“I borrowed the recipe from Shauna,” Lottie then confessed, after their giggling subsided. “I… had never cooked a roast before.”
Nat’s eyes shot up in surprise. “Shauna? And… since when do you roast meat? I thought you said grilling was the only healthy solution to eating meat.”
“Well, I…”
“Was Shauna over here?” asked Nat next, still fiddling with the card.
Lottie nodded, but she looked increasingly uneasy about this line of questioning. “Yes, Shauna and Misty both came over to help me.”
“Wait, Misty was here too?”
Another uncomfortable nod from Lottie followed. “Yes,” she said, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “We had a… girl’s night.”
“You had a girl’s night.”
“Yes.”
“With Shipman and Quigley.”
“Yes, why should that come as such a surprise?” asked Lottie, rolling her eyes a little. “We see them all the time.”
“By choice?” retorted Nat.
“Very funny,” said Lottie. But she did not look the least bit amused at this point.
“Lottie,” said Nat, as she stood up from the table with a sigh. “How soon after I left for my trip did Mr. Kowalczyk break Flower’s leg?”
As Nat crossed the small space to their refrigerator, she saw Lottie swallow a lump in her throat. She put her fingers around the handle to the freezer, but didn’t open right away. She was waiting for Lottie to answer first.
“It happened Saturday, right after you left,” Lottie told her. It was obvious she was being honest. She might occasionally use her so-called ‘feminine wiles’ to distract Nat from the truth on a temporary basis, but neither of them could keep a lie from each other for long, and Lottie had a particular face she made when all her pretenses fell away.
She was wearing that face right now. That hangdog expression that made her eyes a deeper shade of brown and caused her lower lip to push out and tremble a little.
“And when did Shauna and Misty come over?” Nat asked next, still flexing her fingers around the freezer handle.
“That night,” admitted Lottie. “Saturday night.”
Nat opened the freezer, and her eyes met with exactly what she had feared. Stacks and stacks of neatly wrapped meat. It looked like Lottie had merely splurged at the deli, but Nat had a strong hunch this haul had not been store-bought.
She was pretty sure she was staring at Mr. Kowalczyk. Or, at least, parts of him. For a brief second, she wondered if Misty and Shauna had taken portions home with them to lighten Lottie’s load. It made the most sense, but she could only really deal with one horror show at a time. Whatever Shauna and Misty did in their own homes, she decided, was their business. This was her home, however. The one she shared with Lottie.
There was no way in hell she could just… let this drop without at least getting a few fucking things straight. Was there?
She shut the freezer door and spun around, but she didn’t look at Lottie right away. She needed to be able to think without looking at that face. Lottie may have thought that standing half-naked in an apron would do Nat in, but she had to know that the sad-deer look was twice as powerful and even harder to resist.
“Is that our fucking mailman, Lottie?” she asked, flaring her nostrils.
Lottie hesitated. But after a few long seconds ticked by, and Nat still hadn’t looked up at her, she finally said, “Do you really want to know?”
“Jesus, please do not do that answering a question with a question bullshit right now,” groaned Nat, still avoiding her eyes. “Are you literally roasting our mailman in the same oven we bake pot brownies in?”
Lottie took a step away from the oven, closing the gap between them a little. “If you really want to know,” she said, voice sounding solemn, “I will tell you whatever you want. You’re my wife. I wouldn’t keep that from you.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” said Nat, and she either made the mistake of looking up or made the brilliant choice to look up, depending on one’s point of view.
Lottie smiled at her, and it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud after weeks of rain. It really wasn’t fucking fair, that someone capable of cannibalism could pull that kind of reaction out of people.
“If you want to know, I will tell you,” Lottie said again. “But you should know you also have the option of not knowing.”
“Did you at least consider calling the police? Or his… fucking boss maybe?”
Lottie nodded without hesitation. “Of course,” she promised. “But when I looked into what that would entail, it became very clear what little effect any of that would have. At best, the postal service would have fired him, while the police did nothing. At worst, he would’ve kept his job, while the police still did nothing. Could you really have expected someone like me— someone like the wife you’ve known all these years— to sit on my hands while this man… no, this lunatic… was allowed to continue to roam the streets and traumatize other people’s pets?”
With each new level of passion she reached in her monologue, she took another step closer to Nat, until finally, she towered over her like a ten-foot goddess. Looking up into her earnest eyes, in fact, it was hard not to see flashes of Lottie’s former self. Flashes of other times she had towered over her— both in the decades before they had crossed paths again— and in the years since.
Nat had always found herself swallowing hard under that gaze. But she had also never allowed Lottie to get away with bullshit either, so she squared her jaw and gave her wife her best do-not-fuck-with-me look. “So, you’re telling me, it was either this or no jail time for the creep who broke our baby’s leg?”
“That was the consensus I came to with Shauna and Misty, yes,” said Lottie, with a simple but brazen nod.
Nat backed up a little, eyes wide. She pointed to the oven door. “Were you going to let me eat that, without even telling me…”
“Oh, no, baby, no!” Lottie promised, shaking her head. She took hold of Nat’s arms and locked eyes with her. “The steamed veggies are for you. I thought they would cleanse you after your trip. We both know you eat more sugars and starches when you travel.”
“Okay, so… more Mr. Kowalczyk for you then? That was your plan? Lottie, do you realize how much meat is crammed into that freezer? It would take you months…”
“It’s just that… it’s evidence, obviously,” interrupted Lottie. “And it’s not like I haven’t done this before. It’s not like I’m excited to do it again, but…”
“But it would take you months,” Nat repeated, flaring her nostrils.
“So what if it does?” said Lottie with a shrug, having clearly resigned herself to this fate long before Nat had ever arrived home. “Even if it takes me all year, it will have been worth it to me to rid the world of that man. It was justice for Spike.” And with her last words, she raised her chin up to indicate how little she regretted her weekend choices.
“You mean Flower,” corrected Nat, smiling sheepishly. “Or whatever. She can have two names. But, jesus christ, Lot… you’re not the only one in this marriage who’s done this before, you know? You don’t have to do this alone. I’m your fucking wife, even if you do piss me off sometimes, and I wouldn’t have exchanged fucking vows with you if I wasn’t prepared to, you know… never let you suffer alone.”
And, as her eyes moved to the oven door, Nat did make a face of disgust. But she still meant every word. Who was even to say she wouldn’t have done the same thing in Lottie’s place? She tried to imagine how she might have reacted, seeing someone hurt their precious dog, and it just kept turning out exactly the same as it had for Lottie: with a dead man hidden somewhere.
Nat would have just buried him, of course, but…
Lottie had taken a different route, and now there was at least fifteen pounds of mailman meat in their freezer. There was really no easy path backwards at this point.
Nat nodded, indicating she had made up her mind, and she started shrugging out of her leather jacket. She draped it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “We’re going to need wine,” she said. “I love you, but I am not doing this sober.”
“You don’t have to do this at all,” reminded Lottie.
But Nat could only shake her head and smile. “Have you not been listening to a fucking word I’ve been saying, Lot? Next time you want to kill someone, please come find me first. I don’t care if I’m on a trip to Miami or on the goddamn fucking moon, you call me and get my advice before you call Shauna or Misty. I mean… are you fucking serious?”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have called you.”
“Or at least call Taissa or Van instead of Shauna or Misty. Jesus, Lot… I just…”
“All right!” laughed Lottie, throwing her hands up. “I get it. Perhaps this could have been handled with a little more… forethought.”
“Well, it wasn’t,” said Nat, with a resigned sigh. But she was still smiling, despite it all.
She was still smiling and shaking her head as she said, “Just… get the fucking wine and be ready to take that apron off. You’re going to owe me. Big time.”
But Lottie merely laughed at that. “Is that a threat of punishment or reward?” she asked, reaching into the cabinets for the wine.
things I won’t let ai take away from human writers
em dash
“not x, not y, but z”
short sentence stacking as a stylistic choice
none of these belong to ai. these are all what human writers have been writing since day one, way before ai was invented. ai was trained to mimic how human writers write — so em dash, not x not y but z and short sentence stacking would never have been used by ai at all if ai hadn’t learned and mimicked them from human writers.
no, you are not “fighting against ai” by accusing every work that has em dash, not x not y but z or short sentence stacking in it as ai-generated, you are helping ai harm the writing community by engaging in witch hunt and scaring human writers away from creating/sharing their works for fear of being wrongly accused of using ai.
speculations, accusations and ai witch hunt harm the writing community as much as ai does, if not more.
one of my favorite things about Van as a character is that she CAN be catty and mean and tease the other yellowjackets but when push comes to shove she is consistently one of the FIRST people to jump to the defense of the other yj if someone is treating them poorly. she teases mel for latching on to Shauna but is also the first person to cover her up from the eyes of the team when Shauna scares her so bad she pisses her pants.
We talk a lot about the duality of the characters (Nat caring deeply for everyone but also being deeply selfish, Shauna refusing motherhood but it still being one of the few things that brings her true joy that we see, tai rejecting violence to the point of creating an alternate personality that craves it, Jackie pretending to be straight when we all know she’s gay) but I think that van’s duality of being someone who can be mean at times while still being one of the kindest characters on the show is one of the best contradictions the writers have built