YachtPirates

I’ll finish what the orcas started

[yachtpirates]

made a house in classic minecraft

don’t play on laptops this took like half an hour

tried creating some humans to live inside but they kept jumping into the lake instead

[yachtpirates]

is there a song that goes smth like photoSYNthesis AAAAAAAAAAAAA or am i imagining it?

either way it’s stuck in my head & wont go away

[yachtpirates]

where the fuck is my relish

[yachtpirates]

20 bucks is too much for a baja blast pie. i could use that money to buy at least 15 cans of baja blast at the local bodega or perhaps i could buy 12 cans and a premade pie crust

i did neither and yet the fridge is still home to copious amounts of mountain dew

all you need is a recipe for key lime pie, a premade crust (making one from scratch is too much effort for what’s essentially caffeinated oobleck), a can of baja blast, eggs, and half a carton of whipping cream or one of the small ones if you can find it

just follow the recipe for that key lime pie but replace the lime with baja blast, then prepare for complete taste bud bajamicide because this shit’s irredeemably vile

if you’re feeling fancy you can dye the whipped cream. i took the liberty of writing “baja blast” on the pie since it’d be impossible to tell what it is otherwise. it smells like somewhere rfk jr would take his children

it should work with all other flavors of mountain dew if you’re just as fucked in the head as i, or you could even extend it to pretty much any beverage since we already live in hell

i ate at least 3/4 of it by the way, i may be a terrible baker and perhaps a little bit masochistic but at least i don’t waste food

[yachtpirates]

holy shit 2 posts in one day this must be important

Not much is known about Apesh, but one thing’s clear: he’s evil as fuck. the only image i found of him that isnt ai slop clearly ripping off the blue ninja turtle depicts this waste of oxygen completely in the nude, but i’ve included a censorship bar, not that it’ll spare your eyes in any way at all.

only crayons are suitable for depicting such an evil being since crayons are the most evil of the art supplies.

beside him are wise words from Djehuty (thoth), though don’t raise shell and go after innocent turtles, if you have any carapacity for turtle violence there’s something deeply deeply wrong with you. instead scale it back a bit and maybe scute over so we can all take turns disparaging this evil evil being

🐢EDIT drop some fun facts about apesh in the comments if u want, or just make some up. nobody will know the difference

[yachtpirates]

here’s a portrait of Bastet! it’s heavily inspired by the wikipedia composite image bc i can never get cats right. tried my darndest but it’s still a little wonky, particularly the sistrum

i’ve got a few more coming, egyptian deities are great for practicing painting people while staying far away from faces, lest i give myself horrendous night terrors

[yachtpirates]

made a lil lego tardis! ignore the windows, i forgot rulers existed

it should theoretically be able to light up but i haven’t got the proper batteries yet

reposted w alt text, i’ll do better at including it in the future

[yachtpirates]

Throwback to the time i carved a pepper like a jack-o-lantern, wish i added a nose but i’d have to go back to 2024 to fix it

[yachtpirates]

Might as well share some old art, i think i did this one last summer? not sure though

they’re meant to be chrysanthemums but painting’s not my forte (which is totally cool and kinda what i want since i think everyone should pursue hobbies they’ll be bad at, it’s good for the ego)

frame’s a super lucky thrift shop find, fits the painting as well as those shoes fit paul mcgann

[yachtpirates]

Figured I’d post some of the silly goobers I’ve found round town

#2’s a beaver, sorry it’s so blurry (phone camera isn’t great at a distance) i saw a baby too but the pics i got were even worse so idk if ill post it

[yachtpirates]

Lil painting of Sobek! Since he’s the god of appetite he can be here to remind yall to eat something and to remind me to prime the canvas and get better at brushstrokes. i’m not that great of a painter yet but that’s a-ok

just don’t ask him why they found all but one of the pieces Osiris was cut into