Ask the G Spot Anything! Responses
During Sex Week, the G Spot asked the Yale-NUS College student body to ask questions about gender, sexuality, feminism and LGBTQIA+ issues anonymously, so they could ask real people with real experiences questions they’ve always wondered about.
Thanks to everyone who submitted a question! A group of us got together to respond to the questions based on our knowledge and experiences. Here they are!
Responders: A, B, C, D, E, G, J, V (not their real names)
Q: IUDs. Are they actually safe? Does it make your period better or worse? If I don't want to take the pill is it a good form of birth control? What kinds of risks and side-effects does it have? Is it worth it given those side effects?
C: (IUDs, or intrauterine devices, are T-shaped rods inserted into the uterus by a doctor. It remains in the body until removed by a doctor. The insertion and removal are quick and simple procedures that are relatively non-invasive.)
1) IUDs are safe! And they are becoming more recommended by healthcare professionals because of their extremely high effectiveness (about 99% effective at preventing pregnancy, for more info check out https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control-options/iuds) and low risks. IUDs are safe for adolescent women and older women, even if they have not had children. Much of the stigma around IUDs comes from the 1950s, today’s IUDs are very safe, highly recommended by healthcare professionals, and extremely effective at preventing pregnancy.
2) There are different kinds of IUDs, and they can have different effects on your period. The copper IUD (sometimes known as ParaGard) uses no hormones. With the copper IUD women typically report no change to their period, but some women do report that their periods get heavier. This depends woman to woman, uterus to uterus. Hormonal IUDs (two common ones: Mirena, Skyla) release small amounts of the hormone levonorgestrel. With hormonal IUDs it is common for period flows and cramping to decrease significantly within a few months of use and to remain low (if not go away completely!) until the IUD is removed. With either kind of IUD, after removal, periods would return to normal.
3) IUDs are particularly great if you don’t want to take the pill, because once they’re inserted they are maintenance free for years! Different IUDs have different years of usage, but they range from 3 to 12 years before they must be removed. Typically the hormonal IUDs are effective for 3 or 5 years (Skyla and Mirena respectively), with the copper IUD safe to leave in the uterus for 10-12 years. They are more effective than the pill, and you don’t have to remember to take the pill daily. However, take note that they do not protect against STIs or STDs.
4) As with any medical procedure or medication there may be side effects, but these are extremely rare. Besides effects to your period (see above): there may be some discomfort when the IUD is initially inserted, like a very strong period cramp. There is also a risk that your uterus may expel the IUD, this is rare, and not very dangerous, but it would no longer prevent pregnancy until it was replaced. As with any hormonal birth control there may be effects to mood, acne, headaches, and weight (but compared to the pill the amount of hormones released are quite low and remain mostly localized around your uterus, meaning typically less severe side effects!). There are also extremely rare side effects that include infection and perforation of the uterus (0.01% chance).
5) As with any birth control, it is about making the decision that seems right for you and your needs! The IUD is an implanted form of birth control, and thus requires careful consideration with a healthcare professional. The IUD has been proven to be very safe, with low risks of side effects, and is over 99% effective. Research shows that IUD users have the fewest amount of problems and the highest continuation rate of any other category of birth control.
6) IUDs are available in Singapore, and can be obtained at a General Practitioner or hospital. They may cost between $400-$500, though this could be more cost effective over the course of 3-12 years than buying pads/tampons/birth control pills every month!
Q: Where can I get birth control pills? Where can I get the morning after pill?
C: Birth control pills and the morning after pill must be prescribed by a doctor, and the woman wanting the pills must be present at the appointment. Birth control pills and the morning after pill are available at the University Health Centre (UHC), and with a prescription may be purchased at the pharmacy there. The UHC offers two kinds of hormonal birth control pills, Combined Oral Contraceptive (Microgynon) and Progesterone-only Oral Contraceptive (Norethisterone). The combined hormone may be around $7 per month, and the Progesterone only pill may cost less. The morning after pill, or Emergency OC (Postinor), can also be acquired with a prescription, and would cost $9.34 + GST. These pills, and possibly other brands of birth control pills as well, can also be acquired at polyclinics from GPs, or hospitals (like KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital, or Singapore General Hospital). At these locations the cost may be higher due to the cost of consultation ($80-$90 in total).
Q: Are there non-pregnancy related reasons to be on birth control?
C: Not every woman using a form of birth control is sexually active or using it to prevent pregnancy! Birth-control pills, IUDs, or other methods of hormonal birth control can be taken for period regulation, lessening of cramps, or even minimizing acne.
A birth control pill helps lower several hormone levels, which regulates menstrual periods. This reduces acne and excess hair growth, and is often the solution to irregular menstrual periods. Birth control pills are also used to treat endometriosis (cramps and pelvic pain caused by the menstrual cycle) by temporarily preventing periods from occurring at such a high rate.
Q: Can I catch STIs from oral sex?
V: YES YOU CAN. Some STIs are more likely to be transmitted through oral sex, some less. If you think you have caught an STI through oral sex, and you have a sore throat, you might want to see a doctor.
G: Some symptoms don’t show up immediately though, so you should be careful or get tested regularly if you’re sexually active.
V: Yes, so the conclusion is to USE PROTECTION!
B: It depends a lot on the STI! The risk is relatively low for HIV (low compared to other sexual practices, but it doesn’t make it nonexistent!), but very much real for other STIs. (You can read more about STIs on this link: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/transmission.html# ). This is not a very textbook-appropriate answer, but I remember attending a sex-ed workshop in which they told us “the best option is to use protection, but most people will not use protection for oral sex, so here are some things that can be done to minimize the risk as much as possible: don’t perform oral sex on someone if you know you might have cuts in your mouth, for example if you’ve recently been to a dentist, and if you’re doing it to someone with a penis, avoid coming into contact with the ejaculate. Also, take extra precaution if you’re having intercourse with someone whose sexual history you are not aware of.
Q: How do I have pleasurable anal sex?
A: Relax and use lots of lube! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not secrete sufficient fluids so you need to make sure that it’s lubricated sufficiently. Most importantly, you must make sure to have cleaned yourself beforehand to avoid accidents!
Also, you need to learn to use your anal muscles and relax/control them. For the first few times, you might feel like shitting but don’t worry, it’s probably just a sensation and nothing will probably happen.
It might take a while before you can get over the anxiety and fully enjoy anal sex, but don’t see it as a goal to achieve but a process to experience with your partner!
To find out more, check out these links:
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/how-be-better-bottom-guide-gay-and-curious-men
http://m.blogher.com/beginners-guide-awesome-anal-sex-0
B: It’s really really important to remember that going straight from penis-in-anus sex to penis-in-vagina sex can be very dangerous for STDs, so make sure your partner gets a new condom (same applies if you’re using dildos). The same applies with oral sex - never ever do it right after anal sex if you didn’t use a condom (and you really should use a condom, because unprotected anal sex is the sexual practice that puts you at highest risk of HIV).
Now for the enjoyment part, you might need some preparation, i.e. use fingers and/or a small dildo first to get used to the feeling and to dilate the muscle of your anus. However, I remember reading a blogger saying that she found anal stimulation with a finger very uncomfortable, but enjoyed it with a penis - mysteries of the human body! (or, possibly, not-so-mysterious inconveniences of nails) Like A said, the key is using a lot of lube, taking it slow and communicating with your partner. You might want to try being on top the first time so that you can control the situation. You might also find out that anal sex just doesn’t feel pleasurable for you and that’s okay! There’s a sort of social expectation that queer men must like anal sex but sexual orientation and sexual practices are not interdependent things. :)
Q: if you have a family member whom you are pretty sure is gay but isn't admitting it (and this is having a pretty bad effect on the said person's life - loads of lying, secrets etc.), what should you do? I personally am okay with it but I know certain family members won't be.
D: You should wait until said family member is comfortable enough to come out to you by their own volition. In the meantime, you could drop hints that you are an awesome human being who does not think that homosexuality is wrong or abnormal. That way, even if said family member isn’t actually gay, they would know that you’re an awesome human being. Knowing that one has a family member who is accepting is very helpful not only in helping one to come out, but also in being comfortable with oneself.
J: Assuming that the person really is gay, and you think the person is hiding this sexual orientation because they’re afraid of reactions, just try to relax around them. Casually dropping hints that you’re supportive doesn’t hurt! But also remember that the person might get really defensive if they notice this- especially if they’re still struggling with their identity as well. This is the part where you judge how best you can be available, but not nosy!
A: From personal experience, only my sister and my cousin know about my sexual orientation. It is definitely really helpful to know that someone in the family is accepting. I don't know how closeted or comfortable your family member is, but I know if someone at home said something empowering or accepting of LGBT people when I was still closeted, it would have meant so, so much to me. You don't have to force them to come out but just let them know you're there for them. I'm sure it will help strengthen your relationship!
Q: I have a fetish for shaved female genitalia. Should I seek counselling?
G: You probably don’t need to seek counselling... but fyi hairlessness is a patriarchal construct; porn and media has normalised female hairlessness. It is fine to have a fetish for shaved female genitalia. But as long as you and your partner are okay and comfortable with it, it should be fine.
J: Not really- all you need to make sure is that the person you’re with is okay with it. Fetishes are as personal as anything else about your sexual orientation, sexuality, or sex life! (As long as your fetish is not about killing people or something ‘cause then you definitely should get counselling... there’s the law and all that fuss you know)
B: I would also add that it depends on whether this fetish is an obsessive thought, i.e. if it causes you problems focusing, etc., or basically if it somehow prevents you from going through your daily activities normally. This applies to everything about sexuality really - it’s all good as long as it doesn’t hinder other aspects of your life or harm someone else (...well, unless they’re into that). In that case, you might want to talk to a counsellor or a sexuologist. But otherwise, you’re fine! Fetishes and kinks are not inherently bad things, and the only reason why people feel some are “weird” is that they’re not socially seen as the norm, whilst other fetishes have become normalised -- for example, attraction to female breasts is technically a fetish! There are couples who find it erotic to shave each other’s genitalia, so this could be a way to express your fetish with a partner.
Q: Why does one's sexual attraction seems so interlinked with the private parts when both are 2 separate things. E.g. A lesbian feels disgusted by a man's private part, or a gay [man] does not feel comfortable with the vagina. Is it because of subconscious gender identity placed into us which is why we often associate the vagina to a woman and a penis to a man? And as such, we are made to feel a sense of aversion to the private part of the gender we are not attracted to?
B: Personally I think it’s more a matter of associating genitals with sex and sexuality, which naturally makes the genitals of someone you’re not sexually attracted to unpleasant to see/think about. Even though I’m attracted to guys, I don’t fancy seeing penises of strangers in inappropriate contexts (DON’T SEND UNREQUESTED DICK PICS GUYS). So I’d say maybe this is the reason for the example you put forward. It’s also something very personal - I know straight guys who are very squirmish about vaginas and gay guys who are not. To quote a gay friend of mine: “I love vaginas, they’re really cute, I just don’t want to have sex with one”.
V: I’ve thought about this too! My conclusion is that genitals are generally not very pleasant things you know -- they secrete/excrete bodily fluids which are things people usually avoid. So when a specific genitalia is associated with your own pleasure, it becomes sexually attractive, but if it isn’t associated with your pleasure it’s just another thing that produces bodily fluids (which are kinda gross). Just my take on this, I’m sure there are different reasons why.
D: I’m gay and I don’t feel uncomfortable with the vagina. I simply have no reaction to it. I think it varies from person to person and it’s quite a huge generalization to say that one’s sexual attraction is interlinked with the private parts.
Q: Where can I get Paul J's handphone no+ is he attached? He's so cuute <3 <3 also how does The G Spot approach something as tough and ambitious as intersectionality?
D: He’s attached to Mariah Carey.
J: He’s very willing to meet you, just hesitant to make the first move. Next exco meeting, can?
V: Regarding intersectionality, I never saw it as something tough and ambitious but as a necessity. If your feminism does not includes women of minority races, who is it for? If your feminism does not include gay women, who is it for? If your feminism does not include transwomen, who is it for? If your feminism does not acknowledge that men are victims of gender norms, is it really equality?
A: I think we look at approaching intersectionality in terms firstly of acknowledging that we cannot talk about a lot of the issues we focus on in isolation. That is why instead of having separate groups for queer issues and feminist issues, for instance, we were set up as a group that focuses on all these different issues. Also, beyond acknowledging intersectionality, we try to collaborate as much as possible with different groups, be it student organisations, college administration or community NGOs. This is so that we can highlight how the things we are concerned about are not merely a “G Spot” issue but an issue that extends beyond what people would generally associate with gender and/or sexuality. Lastly, intersectionality can’t be discussed or understood just from us organising events or saying that intersectionality matters. Hence, what we aim to do is to generate and encourage discourse and reflection in our community through the events we organise, the posters and publicity we put up.
Q: What is the difference between being objectified and being sexually empowered?
G: As a viewer or observer, it can sometimes be difficult to differentiate between the two. But I think the key difference is where the power lies in the situation. If the person who seems objectified has power in the situation, then you can say they’re sexually empowered. I would say that objectification is characterised as being powerless. But then again, if you’re an observer, if can be hard to see these nuances in the situation.
V: I think the key is to think in terms of consent. Did you consent to being viewed sexually? If not, you are probably more objectified than empowered. If yes, you are probably more empowered than objectified.
E: I think it all depends on how you feel about the way people treat you. If you feel that you are being treated as a commodity, or only for sexual pleasure, and if you feel that people have no regard for your personality or anything else about you, then you are being objectified. If you feel that the way you dress/speak/act/behave is a reflection of your respect for your sexual needs and desires, and are comfortable expressing that in the way that you dress/speak/act/behave, then you are probably sexually empowered.
Q: Where do you draw the line between what is considered playful and artistic crossdressing (as in the case for drag performances), and what might be offensive to the experiences of transgender people? As an example, take the recent first-year gender breaking norm exercise: what would have been appropriate and what would have been deemed offensive?
G: Personally, I feel like there is no clear line between what is offensive and what is deemed acceptable. I suppose something can veer into the realm of offensive if you crossdress in a manner that caricatures and mocks the transgender community. Also, it depends on the context or situation where you are crossdressing as well. Crossdressing as Caitlyn Jenner for a Halloween party is very different from crossdressing for a gender breaking norm exercise in school. Drag is for an event, while the experiences of trans people are lived and experienced everyday.
D: If you do it with the intent of making people laugh at the fact that you’re crossdressing, it is offensive. It is not so much about how you crossdress, but how you portray yourself during the activity matters a lot. Of course, no one would be able to tell what is really in your mind, but it would certainly manifest into your actions while you’re crossdressing. For example, I found it distasteful when people exaggerated their crossdressing and their mannerisms, making a huge spectacle out of themselves. What would’ve been appropriate would’ve been to do the whole exercise without acting such as to fish for laughter (to do so felt very much like mockery to me).
B: With regards to the gender bending exercise, I feel it’s important to remember we’re given so few opportunities in our daily life to play with gender and break social norms that people might go a bit overboard with it because it’s their only chance to experiment with a different gender expression. So I wouldn’t be too harsh on the people who exaggerated mannerisms or presentation -- I’ve seen it as a sort of cathartic moment, and in my class discussion it felt like everyone was aware of the implications and complexities of the exercise. A lot of professional crossdressing (i.e. in drag shows) is exaggerated to mock the concepts of masculinity and femininity themselves, not to mock people. However, I must point out that neither me or any of the other commentators are trans*, so we’re not the most qualified people to answer this question. There’s no hard-line between what might be considered a playful experiment and what could be seen as mocking the experience of trans* individuals, and where someone might see a liberating occasion to be able to wear something or act in a way they’re normally not allowed to, another person might see a mindless perpetuation of stereotypes. A famous drag queens such as RuPaul has been criticized for putting forth a commercial version of drag and for making offensive comments towards trans people on her show, which goes to show that even the drag community can sometimes be problematic. To quote Dean’s Fellow D (not the D in this post)’s presentation from the Performing Gender talk: “Before you make any grandiose statements about drag, I hope you consider the different modalities of how each drag queen performs, from this gender theory lens. Simply donning clothing that reifies the gender binary in a heterosexist and cisnormative way isn’t doing any radical work. I hope you see that excellent drag is about so much more than that.” In the Singaporean context, the local drag queen Becca D’Bus is someone who performs in a way that is radical and challenging to the audience. In conclusion, we struggled a lot with this topic because we can’t speak for trans* individuals and how they might have experience the CSI exercise, and because ultimately it’s an open question; we hope that the discussion that ensued at least served the purpose of making people reflect on it.
Q: Are people born gay or are they influenced by their environment into being gay?
V: I personally believe that people are born gay and sexuality lies on a spectrum, but that being said, the environment matters too. For example, if someone is born VERY GAY, no matter what environment they are in they will still be gay. If someone is born slightly gay, then they may be socialised by heteronormative society to behave as if they are completely straight. I don’t think people suddenly *turn gay* but instead they come to realise and accept the gayness in them.
A: I remember being asked this question at a university interview, and it freaked me out because I was still closeted then. What the professor told me after I stumbled over it was, “the question to ask is not whether someone is born or influenced to be gay, but why it matters how or why someone is gay.” At the same time, it is still an interesting question to explore and I would suggest that it is probably a complex mix of genetics and environmental influence. On a more sociological level, it might also be interesting to consider what being gay means - is it merely a sexual orientation or does it also come with cultural, historical and sociological meanings that a gay person accept as part of their identity?
B: Also good to remember that sexuality is fluid! You might identify as something for a while, and then realize that your preference has changed. I personally really didn’t like beans and chickpeas for the first 17 years of my life, and now I love them. Sometimes the same happens for who you’re sexually attracted to as well - it doesn’t mean that the environment “turned” you gay (or bisexual, or whatever other orientation), it’s something natural. And like V was saying, being in an accepting environment might help you recognize some homosexual tendencies that maybe would have gone repressed otherwise.
G: There’s a possible distinction between sexual orientation and sexual behaviour as well! Perhaps environment does not really influence sexual orientation, but heavily influences sexual behaviour. For example, you could identify as bisexual but your environment is such that you end up dating almost exclusively someone of the opposite gender. This doesn’t mean you “turned” straight or anything, it’s just the circumstances you are in.
Q: Why is it wrong to use the word 'faggot'?
D: The word “faggot” carries with it a history of oppression, and it is quite offensive to refer to someone using a term that has been used to refer to people who have been unfairly subjugated across history. Even though the word “faggot” doesn’t actually mean anything to me, the tone it is usually used with makes me feel very uncomfortable. Even if you use “faggot” to your gay friends in good fun, I feel that it is insensitive to reduce an unsavoury word (that has been used to bully and oppress) into something of a joke -- it’s like the real experiences of the oppressed are being invalidated.
A: The word “faggot” has a lot of historical baggage, having been used as a term associated with violence and hate against the gay community just several decades ago. It was used to dehumanise and justify the violence against gay people because they are viewed in some way as being not as human as straight people. Also, there are some suggestions that the word “faggot”, which refers to a bunch of twigs that are meant for burning, was used to refer to heretics and homosexuals who were burnt at the stake, though there is no concrete evidence to suggest that this is really how the word “faggot” was associated with gay people. Regardless, the point is that this word means a lot to gay people. When you call a gay person a “faggot”, you are invoking decades and centuries of bigotry and hate against that person, reminding the person of their supposed “place” as being less human and worthy of respect.
Personally, I have had several people hurl that word at me, knowingly or otherwise and it hurt a lot to know that they think that my lived experiences of shame, fear and violence can be reduced to a word that they frivolously use to describe someone they don't like or they think is stupid. Words have power, and words can hurt.
If you hear someone use such a word around you, you don't have to call them out and go on a tirade about how the word is harmful. Rather, just tell that person kindly why you feel hurt or troubled by the use of this word (or any other offensive word actually!) and suggest that the person take the word back. It's always about sharing and empathy so we can make the world a better place! (:
Q: Why is Perry so lovely?
B: We don’t know! We ask ourselves every day. It’s one of the many wonders of the universe.
Q: Why are gay men so effeminate and lesbian women so butch?
V: Actually there are many gay men who are not effeminate and lesbians who are not butch. Sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression are separate entities. But to answer your question, I remember seeing something before about how young gay boys tend to have more friends who are girls and pick up their mannerisms- not sure how accurate that is.
G: People who are not straight might feel more comfortable not having to conform to gender norms. I suppose this also helps queer individuals distinguish themselves from the larger heterosexual world
D: There are also plenty of straight men who are effeminate and straight women who are butch. I can’t even begin to talk about how these people confuse my gaydar so much (for the aforementioned conventions and stereotypes) but we should remember that sexual orientation and masculinity/femininity are not necessarily related. Personally I grew up being more feminine but so was my younger brother who turned out to be straight.
B: Like G, I also think it’s because queer people might feel less pressure to conform to social standards in terms of gender expression because we’re breaking norms already! Although of course it doesn’t apply to everyone. And the aesthetic canons of queer people change a lot from culture to culture - when I’m in my own city I can literally spot queer girls in the middle of a crowd from half a kilometer away. When I’m in a different country, or in an international community like Yale-NUS, cultural differences completely mess with my gaydar. Y’ALL ARE CONFUSING.
Q: I guess this is about sexuality... I am really attracted to this guy in school... and I've tried to avoid it but I see him too often to do that. Ok when I say attracted I mean he makes my private parts burn!!1! And I've never been in this situation before.. am I discovering my sexuality? What... should I do... And I know you guys aren't looking for this sort of question, but what do I do about him??? I'm a girl by the way.. Yeah... so embarrassed to ask you this.. but please help?
[Editor’s note: We don’t know if you’re a troll or not, but just in case you aren’t…:]
G: Ah, no worries and don’t freak out. You are perhaps experiencing sexual attraction for the first time. It’s up to you whether to act on your attraction,
V: This sounds very normal to me! Don’t worry :) Regarding what to do, I think it depends on what you’re looking for at the moment? Are you looking for a relationship/to hook up/one night stand? Also consider if you’re only attracted to him because he is hot or because you really like him as a person. Hope this is helpful!
Q: I am female, and I like guys but I sometimes think about touching another female. Does that mean I am bi?
E: Sexuality is fluid, which means that you can think about or want to touch another female, and it does not have to matter (i.e. you could still be straight). Labels are just generalizations, and they only put you into categories that might not, and often don’t, holistically represent your sexuality, so don't think too much about what labels you fall under. If you want to label yourself, however, think about how you choose to define "bi." Does it, to you, mean sexual, emotional, or romantic attraction to people of any sex or gender identity? And/or does it mean actual experience being with people of any sex or gender identity?
V: I agree with E. Also, I think you can consider what sort of touching you long for and why you want to touch them.
B: I’ve heard this question so many times! In short, you’re bi if you want to call yourself bi - no one can tell but you. Categories like “straight” or “bi” are only conventions; ultimately there’s 7 billion different sexualities in the world, so it’s up to you to choose what word you feel describes your experience best. Human sexuality is complicated! To give an example, a friend of mine is a girl who is mostly attracted to girls, but occasionally attracted to guys. However, even if she experiences sexual attractions for some guys, she doesn’t want to actually engage in sexual activities with them, and she is not at all interested in pursuing a relationship with a man. She calls herself lesbian and bisexual almost interchangeably, depending on the context and what side of her sexuality she wants to highlight. Some things you might want to consider when thinking about how to define your sexual orientation:
It’s totally okay to be bi-curious, experimenting, fluid or whatever other word people might want to use to describe a not-so-sure phase of their identity. Some queer people have always known what their sexual orientation was, some went through a phase of confusion, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not being certain.
Some people are primarily heterosexual but occasionally attracted to people of the same sex, and vice versa (for a simple way of looking at it, think of a 1 or a 5 on the Kinsey scale: https://becausewearediverse.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/kinseyscale.png). Some of these people decide that “gay” or “straight” are words that mostly fit their experience well; some identify as bisexual; some use more complicated labels like “heteroflexible” or “homofluid”. Some people choose not to use any label, or to just define themselves “queer”, because they find it impossible to pin down their experience to just one word.
There’s many different types of attraction. Here I found a nice graph detailing four main kinds, but I’m sure some people have idenfied even more: http://41.media.tumblr.com/ef7b61745af8ebeab892232673a3f01e/tumblr_n7wvlbLoYX1qea57bo1_500.png I’ve found in my personal experience that sometimes I feel sensual attraction for someone and that confuses me because I want physical contact but not necessarily sexually. I don’t know if this might help in figuring out what you feel towards girls?
Finally, some people have fantasies that are just fantasies and don’t want to translate them into concrete actions. Maybe you like thinking of touching girls, but don’t necessarily want to do it in reality. That’s okay! People are sometimes aroused by images that have nothing to do with what their day-to-day sexual behavior is. Again, it’s up to you to figure out if that’s something meaningful to your definition of your sexual orientation, or not. I would say if it’s only a fantasy, but you don’t experience any sexual attraction for girls in real life, you can safely keep calling yourself straight (at least for now). On the other hand, having these fantasies might be the tool to unlock things you didn’t know about your sexuality. In any case, good luck on the journey!
