Untitled

[ptashptashptash]

thinking about that scene again.

[yandere-monoma]

Im reading kill your ego right now and ill admit im a bit biased because John and Roxy are my favorites of all the human kids but I just have to know your thoughts on John Lalonde!!

HEHEHE don't tell the others but john lalonde might be my favorite of the kye kids hehehe

my DARLING little dark academia boyo. it's especially fun thinking about him at the moment because i'm in the middle of a homestuck reread with some friends and it's really reminding me of all the similarities between john and rose in the early acts. the way they both misrepresent and resent their parents for the interests they share (or don't share) and the way they try and avoid their dumb lame parents and all their lovey dovey shit

so it's fun taking john and giving something really to complain about and avoid. we take away the self-loathing and (psychotic) depression/chucklevoodoo influence that the egberts are cursed with and we replace it with a superiority complex and a whole lot of pretentiousness. john lalonde is an incredibly proud academic and scholar and you WILL know that he's an intellectual if it's the LAST THING HE DOES!!!

now, john's main problem with mom, as we'll see later in the fic, isn't that he thinks she's being passive aggressive with him, because i think that is honestly a very rose-specific result of her capacity to overthink. he's just honestly disappointed with her. as with all of the lalondes, john goes through the parentification that mom lowkey pushes all of her kids through by neglecting them emotionally, and he takes it pretty hard. he's overwhelmed by the endless attention, he's walking on tiptoes because he never knows when some new ridiculous thing is going to happen, and he can't even get space because who KNOWS what will happen to her and the house if he tries to stay away for an entire week???? and because he's so combative, he's incredibly loud and open about how it's affecting him. he is ready to trauma dump within a moment's notice about his mom's alcoholism, his mom's love bombing, his mom's flaws in general

though of course, he doesnt have any, no, he's perfect 🥰 HE does everything right its just everyone else thats wrong!!! and that's another point of conflict between him and everyone. his mom is into science and fantasy and literature, sure, but not the RIGHT kinds, because john's into the right kind and everyone should be into sci fi like he is, duh. both he and rose actually dabble in different types of reading and writing in this verse, but clearly HE'S the literary genius since HE reads all the good smart books while she reads a whole lot of dumb books that only horny nerd girls like 🙄 and he clearly sees jade and dave as on a lower level to him and takes every chance he can to try and 'assist' them because they're too dumb and naive to take care of themselves. lucky them, though, because they actually get to be kids, and he wants to protect their innocence just as much as he wants to protect his own status and reputation

so! at the end of the day, he's pretty much a rich boy who had to grow up too fast and is incredibly bitter of that fact, but he won't let that bitterness get in the way of all the interests and people he's so incredibly passionate about. i think john egbert is kinda aimless in a lot of ways (like we don't even really know what he wants to do when he grows up) and while i don't think john lalonde has decided a career just yet, he's someone who is constantly working on some sort of creative project for himself and can easily imagine himself in quite a few different paths for life. i think he's full of love and the capacity for empathy but struggles to access it as he drowns in his frustration over the life he feels trapped in. he's incredibly sensitive which is why we see him flying off the handle so often because he's got such a delicate little ego that feels threatened so often (god does johnny have npd i think he does rip)

and i think he dearly dearly dearly loves his mother as every lalonde child does (not that he openly shows it, which of course he's going to regret with EVERYTHING he has) and he will utterly be in PIECES when she dies. he's a mama's boy through and through but he doesn't want to come across as one, he wants people to see him as a respectable and independent bachelor but he doesn't want to show weakness either. he wants to be a leader (because his mom is a leader!!) but honestly he's still the pushover we know and love and he's constantly at the whims of his mother, especially physically, because he's such a cute lil proper boy haha i always imagine him with like cute styled hair and stiff lil preppy outfits and thin wiry glasses (if he even wears glasses, i love the thought of him getting pushed into either wearing contacts or fully just already having some bonkers corrective surgery done on him already)

and hes SUCH A CUTIEEEEEEEE I CANT WAIT TO SHOW HIM OFF MORE WHEEEEEEE

[badshipshitblog]

pulling his puppet into his lap, the ventriloquist momentarily forgets that he compells her speech, and falls for the reflection of himself in her perfect chrome

[badshipshitblog]

#i definitely have a READ where there were Layers to that scene that even dirk as narrator didn't perceive#i think rose's interjection was both genuine and deliberate#i think she does calculate how affectionate to be with him and when to head off narrative control#*episodes of narrative control#but i think simultaneously it is inextricable from her genuine love for him and desire to work on the same goal#she ALSO believes she is doing this for her friends--but also knows that is a weak psychological pastiche over her insecurities#(the real reason she's doing this--if you have a problem you fix it by Saving The World not by addressing it)#she wants her expressions of love for dirk to be genuine is i think part of it. rose chafes at others describing her feelings for her#much less deciding what they are to begin with#is this her manipulating him? yeah but like also that's their entire Thing#can they even have an authentic emotional exchange that doesn't serve a purpose on both of their ends?#absolutely not that's part of the appeal#i think she sometimes reflects his self image back to him intentionally bc it serves their relationship#she exaggerates her role as his daughter and an extension of himself to both garner his affection and solidify her perceived power#i think you can draw a direct line from her behavior with scratch to how she's now acting with dirk#anyway sorry for rambling in the tags of some random art i just like it so much and i like them so much#incest 4ever i will start keeping up with this comic actively if they bring back the incest as a major factor (tags via @nightmericana)

[yandere-monoma]

triple killswitch update for 4/13!!!! got that shit all out with an hour to spare HOO

[shiramono]

DAAAAVE PICK UP YOUR BLIND ASS AND CALL 911 NOW

[yandere-monoma]

in bed waiting for these painkillers to hit lmfao so WHOO KYM 4 COMMENTARY

I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT RELEASING THIS CHAPTER LOL. this update was so goddamn scary lmfao it is very rare that i actually give a shit about my audience's reaction but i was SO WORRIED about possibly backlash from this chapter because it is such a TOPIC. and not only is it a TOPIC but it is a TOPIC that i've only written about... just the once? i'm pretty sure kym is the first time i ever wrote about miscarriage yeah. so more on that later but everything about approaching this chapter was scaring the shit out of me at the time it's rly funny to look back on hahahfjgsdfg

SO!!!! fun fact, the miscarriage plot was entirely created via me and a friend and collaborator of mine (yall know her as yanderetodoroki, who is actively helping me with KYE!!). we were brainstorming and the following exchange happened:

(i'm the black, yanderetodoroki is the blue! tw for miscarriage/abortion/reproductive issue discussion)

and so that was the outline i was going into the chapter with!!! and once again, i literally adore taking a brainstorm session and actualizing it into prose and i'm super proud of how it came out nyehehe

ANYWAY, to the actual chapter!

i have so many thoughts on this conversation because it was probably one of the first kym scenes i wrote (i actually wrote and finished so many of the pesterlogs super early in the process cuz i fucking LOVE writing pesterlogs lmfao)

it's also one of my favorites because of the way it really showcases how in love the both of them are. there's no preamble or preparation or prose to explain how both of them are feeling. i've mentioned it before but such an interesting aspect of the pesterlog function in homestuck is the way it really only shows what characters are feeling but rarely sits there and spells it out for you. and a fun part about taking that format and putting it in fic form is the way that you're also robbed the ability to see the setting in which these conversations take place. it's fun to write conversations without showing the way they're hunched over their keyboards, biting their lips and fretting as they look for the words.

(it's also a fun stylistic difference between KYM and KYD. one of those accidentally-on-purpose things that's completely influenced by the difference in narration. jake as a narrator is far more willing to show the in-between moments in conversation. he'll share his reactions to the things he's reading; he'll share his thoughts as he's gathering his words... SOMETIMES.... but rose won't let you see shit)

anyway this convo was so fun because it's a sudden soft and intimate moment that really showcases that puppy love between the two of them, with dave being clearly infatuated with her and incredibly open in showing it, while rose is actually shy because of the topic and the vulnerability it's taking to have it. she actually allows dave to take the lead for once, and actually reaches out and, most importantly, tries to believe him. because i think sometimes she just sees their relationship as a game

because that's definitely an aspect of their relationship that they both don't outright acknowledge but absolutely understand. especially when they got together, it was all to play a part. dave and rose playing boyfriend and girlfriend, going through the motions of teen love because that's what everyone their age is doing. and there's something stable in playing that role. it's normal. they both want to be normal so badly and they're so willing to use each other to do that.

but it's not a game!!! it's not just a superficial relationship born out of impulse and convenience. they actually care dearly for each other and rose reaches out specifically to ask dave just how serious he is about this, because something serious and scary is happening to her that she can't tell him or anybody about and she wants so badly to know that there's someone out there she can depend on. and dave provides her with all that and more!!!

and aughghfhgg i love the thought of rose suddenly getting hit with the realization that dave has been thinking about this for so long. it's easy to watch him claim to want to save her but to have an actual plan for it (and it's a clumsy idealistic plan, but a plan nonetheless!) shocks her. it makes it so real that she can't quite handle it. he offers her a home while simultaneously offering to throw that home away for her if she asked him to and it's... AHH!!

also dave being open with how much he loves her, actually saying it out loud (sheepishly and absolutely flustered and expecting it to be thrown cruelly back in her face) and rose retorting like she always does, brushing it off, downplaying it and trying to tease him until she can finally reduce the moment to a biteable size juuuUUUUUUST enough to fight through the strilonde-isms... JUUUUST enough that she can perhaps actually honestly admit that she wants this too

AUGH

i forgot about this line LMFAO LAUGHED

my rendition of yanderetodoroki's sentiment here:

and this moment was still so fun because i think rose rarely gets to be wistful and soft like this and it's so rare for her to be introspective, too. and i just love this plotine and i'm so glad we ended up coming up with it and i'm so glad i doubled down on creating it because i think this connection rose has with motherhood (which is such a HUGE THEME in the lalonde storylines) and how sburb somehow doesn't manage to pry it away from her despite the change in role, how it still defines her and how she still becomes a 'failure', how that perceived failure is almost doubled because of the fact that she doesn't have someone to 'reflect' her trauma back at her. roxy and rose are two sides of the same coin, but in the killverse, 'beta' rose miscarriages while 'alpha' rose moves on to psychologically batter her son jake, knowing full well how badly he'd be affected from it and not even really having the.... '''excuse'''??? of simply creating a narrative parallel between herself and the former guardian that raised(???) her.

(which DAMN that's a thought i've never sat and thought about before, that alpha rose specifically knows that it's jake she's preparing for. ... gurgles blood)

Hell, even trying to consider it makes you realize you’ve never expected to even live long enough to get the opportunity. 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i LOVE rose introspecting and considering her life circumstances for the first time in like a decade UGH

SOB SOB SOB

rose's attempt at redemption was so bittersweet to write but also so fun because i knew everyone would yell at me because of it and so fun because everyone Does yell at me about it HAHA

it was also especially fun to drop different details hinting on what could have actually caused the miscarriage themselves. like, this moment is truly not about what specific incident caused it. it's the fact that her environment itself was just so cruel and harsh that there was no way in hell there was ever a chance. and the fact that her actively working towards her own recovery was, in itself, a leading factor as to why she miscarriaged (as one lovely commenter even pointed out, which was AWESOME, i love when you guys notice shit like that +_+)

she doesn't really say it here, but another aspect of what feels good is finally being able to think in a way that's more independent of bro. sure, she falls into that usual habit of thinking about his opinion before her own, but then she forms her own thought, and actually realizes she prefers it.

and that's such a first for her. and ugh i'm so PROUD OF HER I LOVE YOU MY BABY...

and then, of course, that moment is ruined.

and tbh the way it's ruined specifically cracks me up because the very first critique i ever got on my writing by a professional editor was that i have a tendency to only write happy scenes when i'm preparing to immediately ruin them directly after. and it's funny cuz like. damn RIGHT i do cuz that's the BEST LMFAO

rose refusing to play along with bro's game for, again, what's probably the first time in a decade. attempting to keep the role up without committing to the worst parts of it. immediately getting cruelly beat down for fighting it, a reminder of why she's been so firmly cemented into this character in the first place.

the drowning scene formed out of the following thoughts:

i was horny and-

i have a drowning during sex fetish and-

sometimes while writing a porn tragedy fic i go 'oh no my readers must be so bored cuz there hasn't been PORN in a while' which is a silly thought but it is a thought i can't help but have so anwayy

i definitely wanted a BIG scene to 'blame' the miscarriage on. it's not the actual cause, especially because of all the details that came before it, but i wanted a final nail in the coffin. i wanted something that said 'this is literally what she deals with every day, this is her LIFE, but this is also an escalation and a punishment and exactly what happens when she steps out of line'. it took me a while to pick what that would be exactly, because it wasn't enough to just write a rape scene when that's already been happening over and over and over again. and, personally, i can write noncon again and again and again and again, but i wanted this to stand out compared to the scenes before it.

the sheer amount of times i have to reread the first few acts just to remember details about the strider household lmfao. on one of my skims i noticed that the strider sink had a garbage disposal (shown in the scene where dave completely wrecks a smuppet and also one of bro's webcams, which, on a recent reread, just gave me SO many thoughts on how dave is characterized and how i wanna try and start characterizing him more in the future, because quite honestly??? this boy is fuckin VIOLENT in canon lmfao) which made me go 👀!!!!!

You block a blow to the head and scramble back, wrenching open the refrigerator so that the door can obstruct his path. In a second, it’s cleaved in half, wrenched off its hinges, being thrown at you, jesus christ–

STRIFES ARE SO FUN TO WRITE WHEN YOU LEAN INTO HOW RIDICULOUS THEY ARE grrrrr hate when homestuck is fun

and just in general i have such a deep love for writing combat scenes i love working with fight choreography i love writing action and i get to do it so RARELY U G H

fetish moment there is something so satisfying about breaking glass on someone's head ok

also there's something to be said about striders training themselves to not react to pain, especially when this reaction is largely influenced by adrenaline and dissociation and bro pretty much being a flesh puppet who is only barely connected to his nervous system at best HJDKFG

TINY BABY ROSE MOMENT I LOVE TINY BABY ROSE i love intrusive memories popping up at the worst time i love that everything and every moment in life is always connected with each other i love the way trauma heightens the power that the past has on you and i love bro wuving his lil baby baby daughtersisterbrotherboyson

Now that you’re not strifing, his full strength is back, lazily settling into place as he fondles you to his leisure.

fun line because i think that's just a detail about bro i'll always be fixated on, like you are fully just beating up a child for literally no reason, you are literally SO so SO strong and powerful and you're taking it out on a kid for WHY??????

btw i wish i could say there was a deep reason why bro decided to do anal in this scene but honestly it just felt right and it was fun to write

line i need to MONETIZE ONE DAY cuz i love it

MMKAY ONE OF MY FAVE PARTS EVER

the miscarriage scene

there wasn't much planning for this tbh!! it came super naturally and was written up in a goddamn jiffy. for anyone who is familiar with my original work (or even just my more experimental fics), yall will recognize that i just LOVE a meta reversal moment. i love when characters, not just identities but the idea of being a CHARACTER is referenced in a piece and used to further manipulate and destroy someone. i love when watching one character become forced to play out the role of another in a way that is seamless within the narrative itself, never really called out or explained, but it just happens and the audience is left with the result of that change.

and it's super fun here, in a piece like this where the characters get to take turns playing at being a narrator, not even realizing that this is a gift that can not only be robbed from them, but also weaponized and used against them. rose is forcibly ejected from her own story, no longer given the ability to make 'choices' (but who was making the choices? has she truly ever been making them if someone else has been the person to dictate them?) the narrator (who is the narrator?) mocks her and the audience, too, because this is a story that's aware of itself. the story knows its an angst fic, the story knows the reader read (OR SHOULD HAVE READ) the tags, the story knows that not only were there ample warnings of what's coming, but it knows how foreshadowing works, it knows how pacing works, it knows that despite the fact that everyone would know that rose is going to miscarry, people will hope that it won't end up exactly the way they think it will

(which in turn makes the comments that chapter received that much cuter, because people did admit to doing that very thing and it gave me a pretentious lil hehe high-five moment LMFAO)

and i just love this image of rose suddenly becoming trapped within the commands of the story, trying to beg in the only way she can by attempting to order it but having no narrative control to do so. i love the thought of this as a nightmare sequence, because the miscarriage is something she'll wake up to, so as she's asleep, her consciousness is trapped and her body is doing this awful thing in rejecting her child while she can't do anything about it.

did you know i just fucking love poetic structuring like this and i try and sneak it everywhere HAHA

i can't remember if i ever talked about this here but i'll TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN but my conclusion after a great deal of classpect meta (especially based on me and my friend's fansession that we will never sit and create but i love so so so much) was the following:

so if we approach sburb as a story generator, princes as the character who gets BEAT to hell and back for the plot™ of it and everything they will unleash on others because of it and light players as the main characters™ with a whole lot of influence and understanding over the narrative, then the prince of light's role in the story is to have a narrative focused on their suffering and the suffering they will promptly dole out to others. thinking about dirk breaking the hearts of others and breaking himself into pieces in the process, and the way KYM is the set-up for something similar, rose destroying the light in herself, rose erasing herself, rose setting herself up for failure and taking that legacy she's meant for, the entire purpose of her 'character', and destroying that too.

but not yet :D no first we gotta be mean and bully and break her until she gets to that point HAHA

and the blood! dear god, the blood!!!!!! that line was so fun to write!!!!!!! so satisfying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the note on this update is so funny too HAHHJSDFG i'm unfortunately very strilonde-coded where i love pretending i don't feel emotions cuz i'm dumb and especially with my writing, for the most part, it's a very emotionless process. FORTUNATELY i've been doing this thing called therapy lately HAHAHFJGSDFG which is getting me more in touch with my feelings and blahblah which has done some INTERESTING things for my writing in that suddenly i get just so goddamn immersed to the point of it being AGONIZING and it is SO FUN. i was actually shocked how incredibly cathartic it was to write this chapter, like SUPER PAINFUL my chest hurt SO BAD this shit ACHED and i was NOT about to try and express all that in the a/n but that's how it FELT!!!!!! holy FUCK it was like something punched my soul it was great and i love love love writing so much and i love love love this piece so much and i miss kym so much DAMN

[yandere-monoma]

hii! i found u through "ruin yourself (ecclesiastes 7:16)" and ive got entraptured by your mha/genshin works,,,, ouagh your writing is very specific and supe rviscerl sort of thing. i adore your work, and hope that the ao3s author curse dosnt hurt too bad. may your luck be good!

hello!!!!! thank you so much for your kind words omfg that makes me so happy and i'm super happy my works resonated with you!! ruin yourself has a special place in my heart especially, i love hearing its impact on people and it's great to hear that that's what got ya reading :') 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰✨✨✨✨💖💖💖💖💖

idk if i know what curse you're referring to tho lmfao so i hope that means i'm dodging the hell out of it!!!! personally i've adored my experience on ao3 because i have readers like you who make me feel so appreciated so 🥰😘💋

hope you have the best rest of your day MWAH

[yandere-monoma]

im not sure if this is the place to do this, if not then WHOOPS but on ur mei/nobara fic u said u needed more ideas for the pairing and it says on mei's wiki "She also claims to not understand relationships not based on money." so like what if mei was nobara's therapist or doctor or interior designer or something where she's being paid. then things start getting real weird real fast but nobara doesn't really get that what she's doing is wrong. also i loved that fic of them u wrote if u ever write a follow up of idk mei finally getting her some good underwear i'd read the shit out of that.

it's the right place, thank you!!

also MEI MEI AS A THERAPIST!????????????????!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!!?!! my life @_@ my world @_@ my universe has been DESTROYED WRECKED REMADE i can't beLIEVE i've never thought of that before oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

also yeah!!! there will be a third chapter and it will absolutely involve her getting some pretty panties for herself >:3 that fic is one of my warm-up multichaps so idk when it's coming but hopefully i do get that chapter out cuz ugh i love toxic sugar parents s o much....

[yandere-monoma]

DONT STOP PLEASE AS A DEDICATED ANON (who's been stalking your fics for SO LONG) i just wanted to say YOU'RE SO COOL EVERYTIME I SEE YOU POST I SQUEAL WITH JOY. came here from KYM and that commentary??? 100000000/10 made my 2023 and my 2024 :D i fucking LOVE the way you showed rose's desperation for a bit of light in her life (even when it came from the equivalent of a house fire!!!)

HI DARLING MWAH THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO SOOOOOO SWEET 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

don't worry i won't be stopping anytime soon, i gotta finish k/s even if it kills me in the process 😭😭😭😩😩😩😩😩 but i so appreciate hearing what parts you guys love and getting to share this story with you guys was def one of the best parts of 2023 for me too 🥰🥰🥰 augh rose my desperate baby how i miss you,,,,

[yandere-monoma]

re: your kym 2 commentary post

1) in canon, Eridan and Feferi dropped their typing quirks when they "broke up"

2) that post blasted me with the mental image of Dave Egg going to meet up with his Super Cool Girlfriend only to end up getting assfucked by her Bro. Think of like... most BroJohn fics, except if Dave was more of an active participant/getting off on it.

-anonchum

AHA knew i forgot something, thank you!!

2. ok tho there was this one time where i rp'd bro/ro-stri/daveegg before and the scenario was bro convincing rose to let him call dave as a laugh and later forcing him to listen to his gf getting fucked over the phone while they talked dirty about it. like i loooooooove thinking about brojohn scenarios but with dave eggy instead, especially because of that instant cognitive dissonance rose would go through where she's immediately siding with her brother no matter what he puts dave through. definitely one of those dynamics where she's willing to talk shit about him in private but in public she's always helping him and hyping him up and dave is just left to fend for himself 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 i love it i LOVE ITTTT

[yandere-monoma]

do you perhaps have a homestuck discord server??

not yet!!! atm i have a jujutsu kaisen server with a secret channel homestuck channel (that's the renaissance chat i keep mentioning on here!) but it is tempting to make one since all the servers i'm a part of are so otp-centric @_@ and i'm too much of a multiship slut for that HSJDKFGSDF

[yandere-monoma]

deleting kym from my wip folder aughhh ❤️‍🔥💔❤️‍🔥

[yandere-monoma]

John Strider making you laugh the same way Bro’s homophobia does makes me think the answer to “what the fuck is going on with John Strider?” is nothing good. You keep teasing him. I feel like a Victorian lad getting just a glimpse of a sexy sexy ankle.

HAHAHA I'M SORRY i keep trying to keep him in but crumbs keep falling out it's so difficult... i will try and keep my sexy sexy ankles covered (steps on a grate like marilyn monroe and suddenly exposes everything again with a gust of wind) OH NOOOOO

[yandere-monoma]

They haven’t gotten any real focus yet and John Strider hasn’t even appeared in a fic yet but it’s notable how you write the prospit kids as being more resistant to Strider bullshit. Like, they come off as normal almost? Is that a good thing or not? Only time (and new fic updates) will tell

:3c indeed!!! is being resistant a good thing or a bad thing? is it better to adapt to your surroundings or try and resist and fight every inch of the way in the hopes of finally gaining something suitable for yourself? is there a 'better' tactic to cope with abuse or neglect?

it's so super fun to explore that give and take. rose strider ending up (debatably) the most mentally unhealthy of the strider kids but also becoming (debatably) the strongest of them all as a result. does this make her more successful than dave, since she can absolutely fight better than he is and thus is better 'suited' to play the hero? or is dave, who manages to regain his individuality and break through his (co)dependency on his brother faster, better than her? can they even be compared??? oh the traumalympics of it all...

or, another example, using a different set of messed up kids: rose lalonde vs jade lalonde.

the latter doesn't immerse herself completely in her mother's antics, which has actually heightened the sense of competition between them, even if there is no active 'war' between them like rose and her mom. rose and mom create a 'loving' '''rivalry''' of their dynamic, which gives rose an outlet and gives her a way to express her frustration towards her guardian, even if it's not translating right. jade does not. she makes a habit of venting to her friend(s) but she otherwise does not feel heard when trying to confront mom on her terms and she doesn't feel like she can do much to retaliate otherwise, because she doesn't want to play the same game her mom does. and since she isn't playing along, she's actually formed twice as many insecurities linked to her that rose has.

another really fun aspect of all this is the fact that... MAN!! i have so many thoughts just always about the way homestuck is told mostly through dialogue and pictures, so you're only able to infer so much about characters. there's a characterization tip i learned in college that everything people say (or at least most of it) is twice removed from their actual thoughts, at the very least. like, people say things that perhaps they've been thinking for days, weeks, years before the fact. and that's if they're even willing to be honest with themselves and their emotions to the people around them. something that is so great about homestuck is that people lie, they deflect, they manipulate the perspectives around them so successfully that readers don't even catch on unless it gets spelled out for them... if it gets spelled out

(jake is such a great example of this i could talk about jake forever)

switching from a comic book medium to one that uses narrative prose is so interesting because of that, because we suddenly get a window into the direct thoughts of the characters, we suddenly get the full picture that all of their dialogue leaves out.

i say this because it is a very very deliberate choice that certain killswitch characters and their arcs are only implied in dialogue vs others who have their entire psyches written out. we know rose is batshit because we spend 9+ chapters of prose in her head, reading her thoughts. we don't actually get to see how messed up dave is inside until way later when he expresses it. the jades are all jumbled up inside, but we keep missing out on it because they have such a good handle on their personalities and making themselves sound stable even when they aren't, and who knows when we'll actually get a peek inside of their heads. and like... DAMN it's so fun to think of what kym would have been liked if it started off like the other killswitch fics, where you're just subjected to dialogue that gets parsed out later. like rose strider talks like a 4channer and it's fun to imagine a world where that was in the forefront and she got a chance to seem just as normal as jade and dave strider get to at the beginning of their journeys. alas i need everyone to know she's insane... 😌🥰

[yandere-monoma]

So, Jade Strider, huh? What’s her deal? She still seems very Jade but like more vulgar and definitely dealing with some shit.

THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION MWAH

YEAH jade strider is very jade. imo the strilondes are very malleable when it comes to switching their guardians around versus all the prospit bitches who tend to retain so much of their 'original' personalities and i base that largely on the fact that dave and rose seem to be incredibly impressionable while john and jade tend to be more rebellious with their guardians. dave engages in the irony bullshit, rose engages in the passive aggressive mind game war, john complains and bitches about his dad's lame bullshit constantly and jade.... U_U jade.

so yeah, jade strider is dealing with some SHIT. in the killswitch universe, all the guardians are fixed points that force whoever they're with through the same plotline. so bro strider will always train the kid that lands on his doorstep and that training will always grow into something twisted as hell, just like mom will always drink and neglect her kid, and dad will always do his best to nurture his kid to the best of his flawed ability, and jake. U_U JAKE........................

also:

it's so fun thinking about rose strider vs jade strider because ultimately, rose is playing a mind game with herself, and is actively sand violently self-harming on top of everything bro is doing to her, and that's why she ends up so ultimately fucked. meanwhile, jade copes by just going into brain empty mode. 100% ID, impulsive as hell, probably got some stunted emotional and social development that she is just NOT going to think about ever. so she honestly seems like. so well adjusted in comparison but :) can a strider ever be mentally well the answer is no HAHA

[yandere-monoma]

hey! i just read chapter 3 of kill your darlings and i wanted to say, i fucking love your talent for characterization <33333 i was so engrossed by how seemingly Normal jane strider was at first (for a strider) and then my jaw fucking dropped when i realized what her intervention was about. i'm always hanging onto every word of your characters, you're so good, thank you so much for writing!!!!

yall are literally so sweet to me it's so SJDKFGLSDFGSDFKGSDFGSF 🙈🙈🙈🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!!!!! thank you so SO much!!!!!!! janey predictably drives me fuckin CRAZY and i've been holding her in since like.... march??? april??? one of those GOD it's so fun watching everyone's reactions to her i'm so happy

🥰🥰🥰

thank you for your kind words and i hope your week and your holiday is lovely <3

[yandere-monoma]

Munchausens by proxy DaveRose? Or pairing of your choosing, I just ADORE MBP. This is only if you take requests!! You're just one of my favorite whumpy authors

hi darling!! i don't actually do full requests (i do have commissions open, though, if you'd like a full fic!!) but MBP is too fun prompt of a prompt to ignore so i did a lil drabble for ya 🥰 merry christmas darling!!

Her long fingers sprawl across his torso like an ashen horde of spiders. Dave hides his wince as her cold hands ghost along his cage of his chest, slowly palming at every protruding bone. A nail comes to trace the thinning skin, leaving a trail of rose pink in its place, and she slowly, slowly, draws a heart, right between two slender ribs.

"You're growing so thin," she tuts. Her painted lips purse with worry and she narrows her eyes at him, suspicious. "Have you been eating like I've told you...?"

He shrugs, sheepish, and she clicks her tongue again, fussing over him again as her hands abandon his chest and flit over his bangs, brushing them away from his forehead. Rose places a dark kiss against his skin with a loud, obnoxious mwah, and the ridiculous sound of it is just barely enough to drag a weak laugh from him.

She lowers himself to kiss him on the lips, and he shyly returns it, holding back just so. His mouth stays pressed shut despite her lazy effort to lick it open; he's afraid of the bile haunting the back of his throat, the iron tang that's clung to him since earlier that day. He wants to tell her about the blood, warn her somehow, whisper out the confession of how much it had terrified him to see swirls of gore as it disappeared down the toilet with his sick.

Rose kisses his cheeks. She pulls away, pouting and sighing, twirling a lock of his hair between her fingers and pretending the strands aren't breaking with her touch.

"I suppose I'll just have to stay to make you dinner..." she murmurs with a little roll of her eyes and an affectionate twitch of her lips. "Must you force my hand so desperately, Dave?"

He chuckles weakly again.

He's always at his sickest after he has her cooking. But she's so happy to do it, and he's so missed a maternal touch.

Rose makes a show of tucking him in, and he ignores the ugly, feverish itch building up under his skin, the anxious ramping up of his heart rate as she prepares another dose of her care. He loves her, even though the thick, syrupy soup she adores to feed him has him puking all through the night, even though his hair is falling out and his nails are growing brittle, and he can't sleep a night without nightmares of her smile and the lullaby she sings him when he falls into a pyretic slumber.

His blankets now tucked to his neck, she leans in to kiss him again, lingering for long enough that he has no choice but to let her pry apart his teeth. She invades his mouth, devouring the grotesque taste of him, biting down hard on his cracked, splitting lips and he squirms as she moans, whining as the taste of blood only grows.