honestly pavi largo is not even a character to me anymore heโs just like. a Concept. like when i first saw him in screen caps of the movie i was like oh heโs probably a super minor character who got a facial surgery that happens to look a bit unsettling but itโs fine bc thatโs how this world works, people do that kind of thing all the time. heโs the first face that comes to mind when i think of this movie bc his design stood out to me. too bad heโs just a minor character with no role in the story.
and then i actually watched the movie and i found out he is not only a main (?) character but one of The characters of all time. heโs a nepo baby. heโs supposed to be comic relief. and his face? itโs not a surgery, he literally collects the severed faces of murder victims and puts them on as like. a fashion statement. because his real face is all scarred and burned. and nobody questions it?? like no other characters in the movie do shit like that heโs literally insane. his looks range from creepy-but-cunty to absolutely fucking terrifying. a modern horror take on the classic opera comedy mask and i am HERE for it.
and then when i heard him talk for the first time i was like huh?? wha?? because i was Not expecting him to have the gayest italian accent iโve ever heard in my life (especially since his siblings donโt??) and his dialogue is so weird?? and heโs part of the story?? like i thought he was just a really well designed npc
and then i read more about him and it gets even crazier. he has a real life twitter account. he was born on september 29, 2024. heโs gen alpha. heโs bisexual. he might be trans. he suffers from a mixture of daddy issues and middle child neglect. heโs a self-proclaimed liberal. heโs a sex-crazed manwhore. heโs committed atrocities that i can only blame the writers for. he is madly in love with himself. he will not stop referring to himself in the third person. his accent is fake. he has a stutter. he carries a hand mirror at all times. one of his heroes is dorian gray. he listens to abba and high school musical and depeche mode. he canโt sing for shit. he sleeps with stuffed animals. he loves cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles. he writes terrible emo poetry. he has vibrating dick implants. heโs afraid of spiders. he humped and licked a door once. he won prom queen in high school. he cries at least five times a week. he doesnโt know what a vegetarian is. heโs afraid his tattoos will wash off in the shower. he doesnโt know how to shave because other people do it for him. and need i remind you that this is a 32 year old man who CUTS THE FACES OFF OF CORPSES AND WEARS THEM FOR FUN. these arenโt just headcanons that people made up to โbabygirlifyโ him, everything i just said is 100% confirmed canon.
how in the absolute GENUINE fuck am i supposed to deal with this absolute barrage of information when just two weeks ago i was thinking โoh he canโt be that important to the story, right??โ
and now heโs my stupid fucking problematic blorbo that i just gotta deal with because neither he nor his bitch ass siblings are going away anytime soon
