I hope everyone in my life knows that I love them. A lot. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, and for most of my life, it backfired horribly---I started to see affection and vulnerability as a sign of weakness. So, I put on a tough idgaf exterior, and I was angry. All. the. time. I shut everyone out and let myself get angrier and angrier. And I felt like I couldn't change because I was stuck in a box. To be clear, I very much put myself in this box. But I felt like I couldn't get out. I will never blame anyone for not wanting to be around me, because I, gen, was so, so hard to be around. I was mad because I told myself I had to be. Everyone around me was. But maybe it's because no one was showing them love either. Maybe if everyone loved harder, louder, and stronger, people wouldn't be so angry. I didn't want to be angry. I did so much work to stop being such an evil, mean bitch. Maybe all this is saying nothing idk. Or maybe it's your sign to love harder. Love in the way that you love. The right people won't find it suffocating, and they def won't take advantage of it. Let yourself get hurt. Let yourself be vulnerable. Let yourself love the way you love, because life is too fucking hard. Life is so so hard, but it doesn't have to feel that way, I guess. Love with your whole heart, your whole body---from the top of your head to the bottom of your fucking feet. Hug, kiss, laugh, fuck, giggle, sing, dry hump, dance, love love love love so hard. I love loving, and i love to love. love love love. I try really, really fucking hard to love loud. And I feel embarrassed so often, and anxious so often, like, so, so often. But it's worth it. It is so so worth it to see the people in your life feel loved. I love it. And while we are at it. Let yourself be loved.
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