I believe no one is going to read this or give a fuck about it thats why i'm going to talk here.
I was in love with this girl for two i really struggled to gain her love by not expressing my feelings for her for a whole year, a whole year of my life i spent on being her friend but from the inside i did not see her as a friend, from the beginning i saw her as "the one".
Then i confessed to her, for first time she rejected i was so sad but i kept going because i was soo afraid of losing her.
After a long period of time we becamo lovers
2 years of my life was dedicated for her and i always i mean always saw that as a duty toward her i give her safety love friendship family time literally everything.
I used to watch these reels and read articles on how to be a good partner even though some were out of my charecter i tried to to them.
Long story short, she got sick and start taking heavy bills and i did not walk away i became evem more kind toward her so i can be her rock, regardless of my life and the difficulties im facing at work home etc...
The relationship became one sided i was doing all the work emotionally mentally and i did not mind it was the peak of my life when she used to be tired and i threw this terrible joke and she start laughing.
She said she wanted to break up because she saw that it became hard on me i could not focus on my job and my life in general.
We broke up and after 2 months of breaking up i went to her place sat on my knees and said "i love u and i dont care about anyting all i care about is u".
Few days later she said i cant do that to u you will regret in the near future.
Two days ago i opened her letterboxd to check on her if she is watching movies and moving on, and i saw the same diary of her on another's guy profile its literally the guy she told not to worry about, the watching movies at the same time started from the day we broke up untill now.
The point of this story is that u can burn urself for a girl thinking she is the one saying i will do everything to protect her and keep her, and u will end up alone losing confidence in urself.
I hate her and i hate her illness become worse and she will suffer for the rest of her life.
