Atomic Clock @cesium-sheep - Tumblr Blog

pinned post!

this blog is basically my external memory so if you're not comfortable hanging around that is a-ok we can still be friends (perhaps try one of my sideblogs below)

neocities: [here] (under construction) more in-depth about: [here] crochet commission info: [here] etsy page: [here] art blog: @kirby-the-gorb craft blog: @sleepy-princess-craftery meme blog: @heydarlinglook just the disability stuff: @did-they-mention-disability

lolita wishlist for convenience: [here] personal notes for printer troubleshooting: [here]

#last update: apr 17 2026

after listening to all 4 mouth albums in release order, I do think there is a pretty straightforward improvement from one to the next. the original mouth sounds is nearly unlistenable at times even for someone who is actively fond of Noise Hell soundscapes, but mouth dreams has multiple sections that are not just interesting, not just fun, but outright beautiful.

orpheusilver

HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE

orpheusilver

HOW TO EMAIL HUGS

orpheusilver

10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES

#reblog #<3

haveyouever-polls

have you ever had chicken pox?

Have you ever had chicken pox?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 2 hours

#reblog #I'm young enough that the vaccine was pretty broadly used by the time I was the age to get exposed #but old enough that that was a very recent development #so people were still actively invested in the herd immunity and keeping infected kids home and such #and it was still used as a pretty ubiquitous experience in the media I was exposed to #but I've never gotten it

binging all 4 of neil cicierega's mashup albums in a row will not make me feel more normal but I'm gonna do it anyway.

#also I still feel Real Fucked Up even though it's cool enough to put my sweatshirt back on #I'm pretty confident in my hypothesis at this point but it takes a long time to prove it

it seems like the dosing instructions for the omalizumab are kind of all over the place, some conditions the max is 300/4 weeks, but others the max is 600/2 weeks. some conditions it explicitly says do not administer more than 150mg per injection site, others don't have that specification. more understandably, some conditions are dosed based on weight and lab results, and others are just static for everyone.

other useful notes: 7-8 days for peak serum levels, average 26-day overall efficacy, can be left out of the fridge for up to 4 contiguous hours but no more than 2 cumulative days, "interruptions" of less than 1 year do not require dosage adjustments for those conditions dosed by lab results. still no visible warnings about discontinuation or tapering.

if I respond better to 300/4 than I have been to 300/2, I will ask the va about switching to 150/2.

#I should not have to be the one to do this reading.

update dad was like yeah I don't know what I would do with it after I implied I don't want it either so like I guess he was just trying to be polite? anyway why the fuck did she even send me that thing

also I did my injection 5 days ago and much scraping through drugs.com finally found me the actual info page where it says peak concentration is 7-8 days post injection so! we'll see if I feel almost as bad tomorrow even with tolerable weather.

#it would add more weight to my hypothesis that the injection frequency is detrimentally high.#although I *still* didn't see any info on *how* to stop taking the medication #so I may be able to get away with being a lot more aggressive.#I will read the page more thoroughly on a better device later.#before I start flooring it.#but wow this really really fucking sucks.#I felt noticeably better the day of my injection despite some very concrete reasons not to #I think it's a sound hypothesis and I don't think testing it will cost me that much in the grand scheme of things even if I'm wrong #certainly less than other people's stupid fucking cowardice has cost me.#oh and apparently the dosage can actually go twice as high as I thought #but that's no longer relevant if the current dose is detrimentally high

it's probably all being exacerbated by having to go to this stupid Event of hers, when I tried to express that there's a cognitive dissonance between being told they never want me to make myself sick just because they want me to do something and then having there be these huge genuinely dangerous and wholly non-negotiable Things where if I try to get out of doing them I'm being selfish and terrible and whatever the fuck, I said I didn't know if they weren't grasping how much they were asking, or if I wasn't grasping how important these things are. she said probably the latter. which makes me skeptical.

she probably just ignores it because that's usually what she wishes I would do, even though it never works out well when she gets her wish.

and just to add insult to injury my tamagotchi died because I didn't bring it with me to the other room while I was cooling off in the afternoon.

finally remember to ask dad if he wants this stupid hospital blanket mom sent me without even mentioning she was going to, he's all "no you should keep it" no tone indicators whatsoever. so I gotta be like well if you don't want it it might get donated, just so you're warned, without explicitly saying that I sure as fuck don't considering it was sent to me like a box of your ex's things you dumped on their doorstep.

jackie's getting bad enough that she's still grabbing food with her awful little paws even when she's actively full force scruffed.

#animal illness

also I am kind of hesitant to talk to either of them about having a therapy appointment with the va because they're both gonna get the wrong fuckin idea and then I have to deal with that too. I've mentioned it to her a couple times, because she says she knows it's a different situation, but she frequently bases her understanding of everyone off of how she works and she often denies therapy not because it isn't useful for her but simply because she's severely avoidant.

my mental health has been very very bad all year long. this is in small part due to a number of Upsetting Events but I am accustomed to handling those and it is not shifting At All, indicating to me that it is in much much larger part due to concrete physical processes which I cannot simply therapy myself out of. nor can I psychopharmacology my way out of them, I need to target my actual illness and get it actually under control.

at least she got one visit where I didn't have to Talk with her beforehand.

some days she just doesn't engage with me for some reason, which is annoying because she called me, she has full control over when she calls me, and she also has the ability to go "hey I'm tired let's keep it light/short/etc".

#it doesn't help that she was immediately like 'oh well did you set up the ac yet' when I mentioned I was too warm #which just feels very fuckin condescending.#and fundamentally misunderstands the problem #the problem is not 'the whole building is inhospitably warm no matter what I do'#the problem is 'my body throws a hissy fit when it is even a little too warm'#'and it is upsetting and unpleasant to have to capitulate to it all the time'#'and hanging out with matt in my room with the ac on sucks'#'and hanging out in my room alone while he's home sucks even more'#'so I have to weigh whether I want to feel kind of gross and awful or kind of gross and awful'#'but at least with sitting in the heat with him *he* gets something out of it'#'so it adds up to be the better option even though it also sucks'

only being a tiny bit smug about matt insisting no, this spatula matches this spoon and it definitely belongs to us and we've definitely had it a long time, then getting a confirmation text from taran that they did bring it over to make cookies last time they visited and leave it here by mistake just like I thought.

#Other People often have very. creative. interpretations of themselves.#things they hold as concrete character traits can turn out to just be plain incorrect #and they will continue to hold these things to the ground.

I hate that my spot on the couch is also the single warmest place in the entire apartment somehow. like not just "oh the heat drove me away therefore it must be worse there" it is like, measurably warmer in that corner cuz the exterior corridor traps heat that seeps through the busted door and it's furthest from the circulating air.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Atomic Clock