GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN ! PART 1/? a collection of ozzy osbourne quotes taken out of the osbournes show in honor of the legend himself.
we're not going to break the law, [ name ].
i'm going to throw it into the pool.
it's that fucking terrorist.
why do they do it, sharon? what's the big deal, man?
it must have an extra tank in it's ass.
i love the smell of armpits in the morning. smells like victory.
maybe you have to drive without your car.
you can train the dog to balance balls on it's fucking head but not to open the door.
i feel like i'm invisible again.
don't get rid of lola. i love her.
no, darling, you don't need a therapist. you just need to get up at 7 and open the fucking door.
why don't we get a piece of wood and whack the dog 'round the back of the head with it?
i thought i saw it all but now i have a dog therapist. fucking hell.
what the fuck are you doing?
i'm standing here like a stripper with no clothes on.
do you think this looks like ricky martin on his day off?
i hate these fucking stretches.
i feel like a dick head in these things.
oh wonderful. we'll live here then.
we're going to talk about sexual intercourse and things.
you know, with the antidepressants, it screws your sex life up.
i'm all loaded and i fire blanks now!
i'm lying there like i'm camping with a tent pole!
i told him to buy a proper fucking backpack.
how the fuck to you feed a tree?
do you put a fucking ham sandwich on the tree or something?
what happened? what happened? what happened?
you've got that there for the rest of your fucking life.
that's going to get an infection.
she just thinks you're a very stupid person.
to be somebody unique, don't have a tattoo.
everyone and their friend has a tattoo.
i thought she was going to show me a picture of an eagle on her ass or something.
look. tell her to book me a gynecologist appointment. i won't mind.
i'd go. i'll go for you 'cause i feel like a cunt.
i wouldn't book him to a dick doctor!
every time i mention a vagina doctor you get a smirk on your face.
what have you been up to?
you haven't been playing doctors and nurses, have you?