I admire a few people from a far or just in general, but they don't know
To my friends he's "My Freshmen." He was a freshmen last year, but when I tell you he looks like a grown ass man, he looks like a grown man, okay? I have this huge sexual attraction to him, and I've seen bits and pieces of his , and so far they're alright. He always has a girlfriend, I don't mind. I usually like men I can't have- it's easier that way for me anyway. I watch him, I know where he usually stands- I'm like a huge stalker..the thing is though. I only know these things because the universe knows I am meant to adore him, watch his big arms as he stands in the middle of the hall. All the things he does, they just make me so happy.
He also has VERY similar traits to someone I may possibly love, I'm not to sure what my feelings for this person exactly are at this very moment, I don't think I'll ever now. I've adored him since I was 13, and now I just want him even more.
It's not a fun time for me, not being able to get close to these guys, but I like it this way, it's less work.
I often think, well where's my creep? Who watches me from a distance, who knows my routine- how could they? I don't have one. I'm just all over the place, but who tries to figure out where I am? Who I am?
Does anyone?
I wish I knew, it kind of sucks.
