hey one-eye, why did you decide to become a medicine cat apprentice after the final battle?
“’Cause it’s ‘nother way t’serve t’clan. S’way t’survive. Always known little “healin’”: stoppin’ bleedin’, clearin’ breathin’... Necessary. Can’t expect medicine cat at paw. An’ it was good thing I had learned, ‘cause when we were captive, few medicine cats around; Elkclan had lost all of theirs and we doubted’d see em again.
While was there, only way t’survive was t’avoid focusin’ on ‘ow horrifyin’ t'was. Needed different focus. Found it in protectin’ and tendin’ t’as many cats as possible, regardless of clan. Liked that. Gave me worth an’ purpose when those who’d rule us wanted us t’have no worth or purpose but amusin’ em.
Then I felt desire t’be medicine cat. T’learn how they used herbs t’do so much good. Rowancloud of Hawkclan helped t’save Whiterain, m’friend, who's now our deputy. I’d done everything I could t’help Whiterain, but m’power was limited. If I wanted t’truly be able t’save and tend t’my clanmates, I needed more power.
An’ durin’ the battle, I defended those least-able t’fight back. I earned serious wounds for it, ‘cross m’throat and m’eye. Lost m’vision, an’ nearly lost m’voice completely. Though m’voice is returnin’, m’vision never improved; it worsens. Born deaf in m’right ear already, this makes much more difficult to hunt, which was before m’greatest skill and contribution to the clan.
One most important things t’understand, as warrior, is accidents an’ injuries happen. Y’can’t decide what they’ll do t’you, but y’can choose whether y’let em keep you down. Don’t force y’t’be certain thing. May make things harder, but in clan, endless roles must be filled every day, an’ we all have our place in em. S’not destiny, but common sense. We’re family, which means we treat each other and work together like family.
Couldn’t hunt as well, but could still help ‘round camp wi’out any trouble. Was irritatin’ no-one runderstood me well for long time, guess never considered ‘portant t’sign ‘less had a deaf blood-relation. But I worked, but wasn’t makin’ m’self happy. Wanted t’do more for m’clan.
S’approached Scorchedheart and Hollowstone, an’ asked if they’d be willin’ to take me on as medicine cat apprentice, despite my age. They agreed, an’ after we talked it over wi’ Aspenstar, she gave her approval as well.
S’been difficult, learnin’ t’reconnect with my spirituality, an’ t’understand that, even as medicine cat, don’t hold unlimited power over protectin’ m’clanmates. Was my choice t’make, an’ I don’t regret it. Wasn’t chosen for me, but it was m’choice. An’ I’ll proudly serve Elkclan as a medicine cat ‘til I die.Now if you’ll s’cuse me, need t’go swallow beehive of honey an’ not speak for a week. G’thing I taught Plumpaw t’sign. Whiterain, you’re next on my list.”
