It hurt my heart so deeply that I'm once again questioning and blaming myself for everything, particularly my previous relationship.
I thought that it was best for us to let go of each other since that time, I felt that I didn’t meet the expectations of my partner.
I’ve watched the skypodcast, and Kryz said,
“Our focus is on different things in life. But, the beauty of it is always coming back and knowing that when you come back, there’s someone there to catch you or to hold your hand again.”
Back then, I was focused on my career.
My job before was demanding. Sometimes, we worked overnight and on weekends. I just want to sleep when I have free time.
I have financial problems. I don’t have extra money to go on dates. They know how much I earn from my previous job.
I can’t meet the expectations since I don’t have extra money to do so. But I swear, I’m really trying!
I felt so insecure about everything. I felt so small, especially when money was involved. I tried my best to save, but it wasn’t enough.
On the other hand, I’ve realized that I don’t have to feel bad about what happened. I’m still working on developing myself. I’m still learning.
As an independent person, I tend to solve everything on my own. Now, I try to open myself to other people. I’m just hoping if I need help, there’s someone who will hold my hand and uplift my morale rather than someone who makes me feel that I’m not worthy.