A writer in an aqua ocean

Writer.

[yesaquawriterme]

It’s difficult to be positive when everything is turning out wrong. I know life isn’t fair but I can’t live with this illness anymore, it’s takes too much out of me. I’d like to do soooo many things but.... everything I’ve planned turns around and says no. I want to die, last year I tried and the same date is coming up, I’m hoping to just go for it and do it right this time. I’m defective, and my mother needs her peace. I don’t want to keep ageing and have the world go around me and I can’t follow, everything’s too fast and I’m too slow. I’m being watched all the time... I just want to die and be left alone. It’s selfish of my mother to keep me here,when it’d be so much easier for her if I was gone

[fyjjong]

30th golden disk awards ♡ 160121 © everlasting (do not edit or remove logo)

[novice-at-play]

Life is better in pink… 😘

Happy birthday to my beautiful Tumblr daughter from another mother, Ashley @drxgonfly/ @drxgonflysphotos​!! 😄 Thank you for all you do for us and thank you, especially, for the in-depth conversations we have about… everything!! 💩🙄 Wishing you lots of love, laughter and presents in all shades of pink!! 🌸 Love you sweet child o’ mine!! *BIG HUGS* ~Angie 😙💕🤗

[yesaquawriterme]

[fyjjong]

in celebrating their twentieth anniversary as a leading international source for k-pop: soompi put together a video with one song chosen to symbolize each year, from 1998 - 2018. “lucifer” was chosen to represent 2010 and “빛이 나 (shinin’)” was chosen to represent 2018. (source)

[yesaquawriterme]

The first time I saw Shinin’...I still have the same bittersweet feeling.

[yesaquawriterme]

NaNo Challenge for IG, I’ll update here too

[yesaquawriterme]

Coming home from a long day.

[yesaquawriterme]

I have his novel, and my goal is to be able to read it by the end of this year.

[fyjjong]

(death tw) a kind reminder: there is not expiration date on grieving and being sad. please do not say or imply to people who are still openly sharing their sadness about losing jonghyun that they need to “get over it” or “move on already”. it’s only been two months. jonghyun meant the world to so many of us. he was a lifeline, a source of happiness, and not having him here with us anymore is something that will take a long time for many to get used to. some will never get used to it. some will always been upset when thinking about the loss and that’s completely okay because, as said: there is no expiration date on grieving and sadness. in making comments like this you are not only policing the emotions of others but you are putting a stain on fandom. each of us is unique in how we’re dealing with this. we’re one fandom but we’re not a hive mind. we need to be kind to one another, but we also need to take care of ourselves so if you feel like the “negativity” is getting in your way, you need to do what is best for you and not make others feel like what they’re feeling is wrong when it isn’t. this obviously goes both ways: don’t tell people who are trying their best to be happy and move forward that they are moving on too quickly. 

i have seen this issue addressed directly already though so i figured it would make sense to comment on the opposite side of the spectrum, seeing as i have gotten messages from a few people on here who feel like they are being driven out of fandom because they’re “too sad” still. just … play nice, people. none of this is easy.

[yesaquawriterme]

Thank you for these words.

[jjonghyun]

you did well ~  수고했어요.  그댄 나의 자랑이죠.

[kibaems]

[ultrakdramamama]

Jjong, out there doing his best to reassure us Shawols :)

cr: @ontaekey

[byulrooyah]

I hope when people talk about Jonghyun, it’s not just about his passing...

I hope they mention his struggles he had to overcome as a child being raised by a single parent, and had to essentially live on welfare for part of his life. 

I hope they mention that despite the opposition, he dropped out of school and got a GED in order to invest himself fully in his music. 

I hope they mention the years he devoted as a trainee before debuting and consistently ranked as one of the top vocalists from the time he was signed. 

I hope they mention his on-stage charisma with Shinee and as a soloist that captivated audiences for almost 10 years. 

I hope that they mention what he was able to crossover from being an idol to being an artist, and a singer-songwriter at that. 

I hope they talk about how his feat was unprecedented and all of his music has been subject to critical acclaim and praise across the board not just in Korea, but also recognized by Western critics and publications. 

I hope they mention that he wrote and composed not only for SM and himself, but for other artists outside of the company, creating collaborative ties that helped to facilitate SM’s investment in such collaborations musically with the start of The Station. 

I hope they mention his years as a radio DJ on Blue Night becoming an outlet for him and his skills, and for helping to appeal general audiences to take notice of his work despite the bias against idols. 

I hope they mention his skills as a poet and writer for contemporary literature with his novel Skeleton Flower: things that have been released and set free, which also received commercial and critical success. 

I hope they mention how he released 4 solo albums (with 1 to be released posthumously) in the past three years while still promoting with Shinee as a group in between. 

I hope they mention his four series of sold-out solo concerts in those three years, each of them artistically diverse and marvels. 

I hope they mention that he broke away from his “assigned” image in order to be true to himself and to his fans. 

I hope they mention that he put his career on the line to advocate for education, LGBTQ+ rights, mental health awareness, and anti-discrimination for minorities.

I hope they mention that he never hid his emotions, and his lyrics came from the depths of his soul and touched countless others.

I hope they mention his undying love for his family and his members.

I just hope they mention how much of a legacy he left behind, and how important and beautiful that legacy is.

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

via @extramadness

[yesaquawriterme]

Who knows how long I can keep up...

[yesaquawriterme]

An Aqua Light

You’re light is always shining, I miss you.

This blog is a release, irl no one understands or cares.