[yfnwu-blog]

skvllkd:

continuing from ( x ) ㅡ @yfnwu !!

a furrow to his brows, an exhale of tobacco as he shifts his gaze from the chaotic scene in question to the man that stands beside him.

“you think he’ll do it?”

he hopes not. like any decent human being, he hopes not.

and a part of him sympathizes. empathizes, even. he has never thought to end his own life, but he knows what it’s like to stand in the middle of heartbreak’s violent storm, stranded in the aftermath of pain and tainted memories that refuse to fade quickly enough. the memories of his past were like that - cruel and merciless as their claws gripped at the core of his being, squeezed tight until puncturing the surface of his lungs and he was left breathless. the path leading to the future that he thought he had was no longer feasible, and there was no way that he could go backwards.

back to her.

he couldn’t.

but there were other paths. eventually, there were. he made them for himself, and the pieces of his shattered memories, dangerous with their jagged edges, were eventually swept into a tidy pile and thrown away.

“he shouldn’t. she’s not fuckin’ worth it,” is an added mutter of words under his breath.

don’t let her win, hayden thinks as he turns his eyes back to the top of the building, takes another drag of the cigarette between his fingers.

yifan would like to see it happen-- would like to see him jump i dare you. humans are daring and fearless (for the most part that is) but in most cases, such like this situation right now, fear is a shaking emotion. we can all do as we please but what is a world without worry. 

everywhere we look, there are stories untold and this is a story that is begging to be written in the sky. sure she’s not fucking worth it, but neither is he (but then again, no one is ever worth it in his eyes). prying eyes and curious ears are makes society a dangerous place and his story is already leaving yifan’s lips as if he’s lived it himself. 

“he’s not so great himself,” the demon starts off, shrugging nonchalantly, “he’s a violent man and does as he pleases with his fists.” and hopefully that’s enough to depict their unclaimed romance. a tear-jerking romance that leads to broken class and bloody wounds. both of them are guilty, but who more? “if he doesn’t jump, he’ll get away with it-- if he jumps, he’ll not only get the sympathy of others but she’ll suffer more than she already did before all of this.” 

happy endings don’t exist. 

[yfnwu-blog]

         Darkness falls only once the light has faded and death follows the path he walks.                 Once the sun has risen, darkness is a thing forgotten, but death continues.                          Death and life are contained within him.                                   He is death and life brought together. 

✞✞✞✞✞

[yfnwu-blog]

(( open plot ; positions 0/1 ))

it's not destiny or fate : yifan sees someone who looks like his past lover from hundreds of years ago and he's not sure whether or not he wants to court (him/her) or destroy (him/her) because from what he remembers, it didn't end well.

[yfnwu-blog]

sunmiv:

The movement of her brows furrowed intensely while her lips fell into a normal state, still continuing to listen to the stranger. Hearing someone sneak themselves into a conversation that wasn’t necessarily meant for them wasn’t exactly typical and for the amount of attitude received lacked common sense in humanity. Bizarre to pursue another reason why people have cursed another minute of her life, growing confused while Sunmi’s mentality sustained a built up barrier. A bitter laugh could be left from her, echoing off into the wind as both arms crossed themselves firmly against her chest. The way circumstances were seen didn’t necessarily mean someone’s world were being demolished, the way contracting opinions and approaches gave another fact to attitudes which clearly were a contradiction in itself. 

“And that makes sense how? Being around people is tiring and it happens no matter what they may do. But I mean since you rudely stepped into a personal conversation, it pretty much does matter or we wouldn’t really be having this conversation.”

yifan only speaks from experience, of course. the winds never shift where you wish for it to carry and he’s watched the lives of many people (possibly his own from the time he has fallen as well) drifting along the currents of reality. she’s right however, because everyday constitutes some form of connecting with someone. at some point it becomes a constant routine and its tiresome to feign interests in situations too plausible to avoid. 

“oh, it doesn’t make sense,” since when has anything ever. the skies have always been conjuring and p r y i n g themselves actively against anyone who tries to understand. “they’re unavoidable-- conversations, that is.” of course he states the obvious and that makes him chuckle at himself (and rudely, which depicts himself well enough makes his lips curve up slightly, an indistinguishably cross between a smirk and an amused smile because when will he ever have self control. the answer is never and its more problematic than beneficial). “even more when it’s a norm to be seen speaking with someone,” as he refers to the frequent encounters at work.

[yfnwu-blog]

sunmiv:

Indignant emotions weren’t a frequent matter, optimism cascaded Sunmi’s life entirely and never did negative gestures linger themselves freely. It wasn’t a surprise that a person who called themselves a friend lied to her very face, if it wasn’t disappointment- it was devastation at its finest. Who would’ve stayed if there was nothing but dishonesty, deceit and deception within a friendship? Not her, in fact there were too many incidents regarding that very subject- hence to why walls were being built day after day. Trust definitely raised itself on the highest level after anything, if there wasn’t some sort of assurance- what was the point? It was sorrowful enough certain situations as these weren’t meant to catch wind to the public, the family name was at stake- better yet to know anyone could’ve heard the argument brought utter embarrassment.  

“So, annoying.”

Whispers lingered themselves off into the distance, silently cursing to herself as a finger harshly pressed the end call button on her gold iphone. Sunmi’s dark brown orbs closed softly, pondering a few suggestions before taking a deep breath as she heard the random replies coming from behind. Eyes blinking themselves thoroughly to hide the overflowing water dripping from them before her entire body shifted views. The breeze carried the girl’s dark brown strands of hair gracefully against the current, physical features calming themselves down as she returned to a content but rather bewildered state.

“Coming back to them? It won’t happen, I’m usually just tired of people that’s all. Who are you by the way?”

there’s an obvious aura of someone’s world falling apart and he tastes the bitterness in the air. yifan isn’t sure whether or not he likes seeing people suffer  more than he likes to watch the universe slowly crumble into a million pieces or witnessing the life draining from someone’s eyes. he thinks about this on the little free time he has-- is the pain worth it, is deteriorating into nothingness and being washed away with the waves that desirable? the answer is yes, and since he can’t do so himself, since he can’t fade away, he’d rather watch others do so. 

it isn’t easy to face the reality of things, and that’s something yifan himself struggles with. it’s funny to observe how relationships build off of nothing but trust when trust is so fictional in itself. he can’t ever fathom the idea of needing to have someone close by, having someone to worry about, having someone to care about. it’s all a cruel and sick joke because silver linings are meant to keep us hopeful but instead it’s a raging tornado of disappointment. 

so maybe he was speaking to himself at first but maybe he had intentions of allowing the girl to hear what he has to say. “it’s so amusing how we all ‘get tired of people’ yet are surrounded by so many, ever. single. fucking. day.”  the model clicks his tongue with the obvious statement. it’s not that yifan savors every waking moment of catastrophic downfalls, it’s just that-- he does. “does it make a difference whether or not you know who i am--” either way yifan is a stranger (and actually he’d rather not ruin his pride by saying he’s a damn fucking model on every other tabloid out there). 

crying doesn’t help wounds recover, it makes them sting worse. 

[wordsbymymind]

You’re everything I want, but everything I can’t have.

Wordsbymymind

[yfnwu-blog]

“What’s your fucking problem?!”

basic angst starter : status :  (( C L O E D ))

if every single person in the world were rewarded for the amount of times yifan is known to be stubborn then well, the world would probably be a better place. he’s a certified asshole– everyone of his employees would say so themselves, but never in front of him. volcanoes erupt when anger riles through his bones and somewhere in the distance death falls over a valley with daises and sunflowers wilting in a bath of a yellow field. and when something isn’t done the way he asks and to his likings, there’s no telling what’s about to come. yifan fires his assistant who doesn’t get his coffee order right for the fifth time– which longer than he’s put up with others. can’t believe i have to go out and get my own damn coffee when my next shoot is in five minutes. a known complainer as well. 

          “what’s your fucking problem?!”  

some girl probably trying to mind her own business. preys are hunted when they are the most v u l n e r a b l e – when they’re alone. predators pounce at anything they can sink their teeth into and call it their own. the model only watches as exchange of words are taking place and his eyes roll because beasts come in different shapes and sizes– this one happens to be some idiot that can’t leave this girl alone after a sad rejection. yifan hardly finds himself interjecting with people’s fate, but he can smell blood and agony in this twisted fate. it’s too early in the fucking morning to watch someone die– whether it be the girl or the dude who’s trying to press himself up against the petite girl. 

“sorry i took so damn long, they couldn’t get the temperature of my coffee right,” the model says using his free hand to brutally push the attacking man away, almost sending him toppling backwards. “this guy bothering you, love?” an arm slides over the girl’s shoulder, pulling her close by with a feigned smile. 

“i mean, i’m not sure what business you have with her, but i’m not likin’.” yifan takes a sip of his piping hot coffee, then sighs, the roof of his mouth blistering but healing right over. “i just bought this coffee, but here, have it. it’s on me,” he says while tossing liquid lava from his cup, the contents staining brown against the guy’s shirt, steam spiraling the air around him. 

[yifan]

kris wu for lima

[yfnwu-blog]

“Oh god, it was a mistake coming here… I’m sure of it.”

basic angst starter : status :  (( a c c e p t i n g ))

lighting strikes with the sky cracking like it’s upset. he thinks that maybe for once hell will break loose and he’ll meet with people he once knew. today isn’t that day though, the ground doesn’t shake and rain isn’t pouring the start the mark of w a r . orange burns at the end of his cigarette, lips parted with angry smoke puffing out. he doesn’t mind so much the busy streets with people trying to get home because apparently there’s a storm hitting, so says the forecast. he laughs because people will listen to anything the news tells them. sips of coffee come between each drag of cancer and he watches as people cower as thunder roars throughout the city.

           “oh god, it was a mistake coming here… i’m sure of it.”

yifan takes one long look at the speaking stranger, chuckles under his breath and shrugs. he’s sure the comment wasn’t meant for him, maybe the other is speaking to himself. beats him. the statement has his bones rattling with amusement.

 “i don’t think he can help you from up there,” and he takes another stick out from the pack and shoves it between his lips. there’s a lighter somewhere in his pockets…. “no body can help any o’ us when we’re trapped here,” he’s hardly coherent with the cigarette between lips still. “sure we can ask and maybe they’ll here us,” yifan takes the thing out of from between his lips to take another gulp of coffee, heat scalding the back of his throat, “but shit won’t happen.” he talks as if he knows and the thing is, he really does. 

fuck, where’s my lighter? 

[yfnwu-blog]

“I’m leaving. And I’m not intending to come back.”

basic angst starter : status :  (( a c c e p t i n g ))

the wind blows and leaves fall one by one agonizingly. time ticks but the world threatens to move forward. if yifan really could control time, he’d make earth stop its rotation and make the stars fall because at least then, in the darkness, he would be at peace. but he can’t so with each waking moment misery courses through his veins. he’s suffering and he’s been suffering. maybe he’s not the only one, but he’s been through hell and back (literally), so after walking the streets of several countries over the course of who knows how long he thinks he’s the only one waiting for time to boil over. 

          “i’m leaving. and i’m not intending to come back.” 

yifan can catch every detail of every conversation, usually, but doesn’t this time. some girl speaking on the phone rather angrily. it’s none of his business really, but he can’t help it. life works in mysterious ways like that: noses stick themselves in places they shouldn’t be. so that’s where he is now. “we always end up coming back in the end,” he speaks from experience but also from what he’s seen and what he’s heard. “leaving will never be enough, so we come back so  d e s p e r a t e  for something we didn’t know we’d miss.” 

it’s almost impossible to run away from your problems, he thinks, you think that even for a split second, running away would shove down and wash away any pain that’s left. you think maybe when you’re not around any longer, we can watch pain wither away and find its next victim– but it will always be there, it will constantly haunt you– me...  e v e r y o n e  in this damned universe. 

[yfnwu-blog]

“Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?”

basic angst starter : status :  (( a c c e p t i n g ))

it’s not everyday the streets are blocked off with sirens blaring. but today shadows cast over the city, grey filter thrown against  every building in attempt to bring everyone’s mood down (the sun refuses to come out but yifan thinks the world deserves to look ruined). everyone is too curious for their own good and it’ll get them killed one day, but for now a large crowd watches a show from behind yellow police tape. 

the demon can hear the ruckus from miles away and he refuses to turn away without seeing for himself. there are murmurs between groups and they’re all sputtering nonsense because no one knows the true story. yifan watches from a distance because he won’t blend with that crowd and what use would he have there if he’s not gonna try to be some fucking hero and save everyone from  their misery. there’s no time for dress-up. 

          “will you tell me what the fuck is going on?” 

he’s seen enough and he’s heard enough– nothing’s going to happen because no matter how much someone wishes for death, it’s too hard to say goodbye to a cruel world. 

“some idiot wants to jump off the damn building and end his life because his girlfriend cheated on him.” it’s not as bad as it sounds though, really, because yifan knows he won’t jump. fear is shaking in the dude’s limbs and he’s begging for someone to ask him not to do it– not to jump because eventually it’ll get better. but that’s all bullshit. nothing ever gets better. 

[yfnwu-blog]

“Ever been held at gunpoint? Want to know what it feels like?”

basic angst starter : status :  (( a c c e p t i n g ))

it’s funny how the world works– one minute you’re minding your own business, trying to smoke a damn cigarette and the next minute you can’t figure out whether or not it’s appropriate to forget what’s been asked and move on with what’s left of his life. He opts for not.          “ever been held at gunpoint? want to know what it feels like?” 

a question like this makes him scoff, the burning stick between his fingers meeting with his lips for one last drag before smashing it onto the pavement with his foot. thousands of years does something to a person– and for now, he’s a changed man (although that’s what they all say, but old habits never die). there’s no need to recall when the last time he had a gun held to his head, cold metal clashing with his skull and he begs to be shot because even a split second of experiencing death again makes him feel alive. but he’s not. and he prays to no one but himself, knowing another a million more years will drive him insane, if he’s not already. 

“feels thrilling doesn’t it?” yifan’s tongue drags out to wet his dry lips, expression dull because oh he knows all too well what it feels like. “some people see their lives flash before their eyes and see they’ve done nothing worth living saving them from having a bullet pass through their brain.” there’s a sigh but the world doesn’t stop for people who are on the brink of death– the ones who need real help are the ones at the other end of the gun, finger on the trigger. “get’s boring though, because sometimes you’re waiting for them to shoot but nothing happens because they’re cowards.”  

[angstmemes]

Basic Angst Starters

because sometimes what’s left to the imagination is much more terrifying.

“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it.” “I just heard something… Something bad…” “Why didn’t you tell me about this?!” “What’s all this blood?!” “Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” “You should probably sit down for this.” “Please tell me you forgive me!” “I can’t live without you!” “Oh god, It was a mistake coming here… I’m sure of it.” “What the hell happened to you?!” “Where have you been?! I’ve been waiting for hours!” “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore!” “I knew not to trust you!” “What’s that in your bag…? Is that–? Tell me it’s not!” “Is this what a dislocated shoulder feels like?!” “How could you do this to me?!” “Wake up! Wake up!!! You’re having a nightmare!” “I feel weird… what was in that drink…?” “I don’t want to leave you, but you’re not really giving me another option.” “Please… you’re scaring me…” “Ssh, I heard something again. How aren’t you hearing it? It was loud… and getting closer.” “Are you okay in there? You’ve been so quiet.” “I came as soon as I could! Did he/she get to you already?” “I don’t know whether I want to do this. I don’t know whether I CAN do this.” “Do you remember anything?” “You have to tell me who did this to you!” “No, no, I’m not alright. I’m definitely not alright.” “What’s your fucking problem?!” “Are you crying?” “You’re freaking me out! Please calm down!” “I’m leaving. And I’m not intending to come back.” “You… are dying?” “Did you drink the whole bottle while tripping? Seriously?” “Do you have a deathwish or something? Jesus!” “Ever been held at gunpoint? Want to know what it feels like?” “Stop screaming! Shh, calm down! You have to keep quiet!” “When’s the last time you slept?”.

[yfnwu-blog]

         Darkness falls only once the light has faded and death follows the path he walks.                 Once the sun has risen, darkness is a thing forgotten, but death continues.                          Death and life are contained within him.                                   He is death and life brought together. 

✞✞✞✞✞

[poetryandthesea]

How should I get you out of my heart when I can’t even get you off my mind?

// let me go j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

[k-blahblah]

Kris in a 1.2m pool...