The weight of her silence
*author note* so this story has two endings : one with levi and the other with erwin which I will be posting separately later
So i twisted some of the facts and thing about titans ok?
"this" means talking
"this" means thinking
Hope you enjoy!
"Alright... Calm down, calm down there is no reason for you to be scared, Even if you are physically a bit weak but on the brighter side... got the brains.. Besides.. That's what you've always wanted, right?"
You have always wanted to be in the survey corps Even if you were considered physically weak and even were your rank was among the lasts
But you've always had a passion for saving people
Today was the training day, which is the worst for you, why you ask?
Well... Because you'd get your ass beaten almost every day unless you snuck out the training because as i said before you are not the best in the physical... Range
The vets (erwin.. Hange.. Levi.. Mike) almost feels pity for you every time
The doctors in the infirmary are basically your best friends, you see them more than you see your comrades basically...
Today you stood in front of Max (i just made up a random name just bear with me) and that is bad
Max is like... The bear of the corps, he graduated from the top 10 and is such a big foot standing at 6'6 while you were just a (insert height), and also is known for the ass hole he is that he never hold back
You gluped "this is gonna be bad, i am definitely going to the infirmary again today"
You internally sighed "this is gonna be like.. The 3th time this week and we barely even passed half of it"
You internally groaned and watched him get into the fighting position and you did the same
"if i were able to land at least a punch or two that would be good... Probably"
And as expected.. You got your ass kicked... Again
But this time, what you didn't know is that the higher ups were also watching what was happening and happen to stumble across your... Performance
"this brat is not gonna last even 5 minutes outside the walls" levi said "you should discharge them before they become a problem to both them and the others"
"yeah.. I'll call them today to see what I can do.." erwin said after a bit of silence
"aww such a shame! She's got such a lovely brain!" hange whined
"yeah.. To be eaten by a titan" levi sarcastically said
Hange Just grumpled while mike stayed silent what you leave the Ground to go to the infirmary because apparently, that Jackass has given you some harsh bruises
At late afternoon the commander called you into his office
You walked into his office shaking of what is about to come
"come in" a muffled voice answered after you knocked on the door
You opened the door and saw commander erwin sitting behind his disk with captain levi sitting on the leather couch on the corner of the room with his hands crossed and one leg over the other
"please sit" erwin said pointing at the chair at the other end of the desk
You sat completely nervous in front of the chair
And you heart almost stopped beating after he begins speaking
He wanted to discharge you
He found you useless
You quickly responded "b–but sir! I can promise i can be of use! I–I maybe weak physically b–but i can slay a titan! I–i can even help with the injured on the battlefield!" You said trying to give your self at least a chance
You need a chance to prove yourself!
"brat you do realise that the next expedition is coming up next week right? You don't want to die next week now do you? You already passed the one from couple of weeks ago because of your ankle"
That's right.. You twisted your ankle one day before the expedition a couple of weeks ago so you could go, but this time you will! You can't also pass this one...
"b–but i won't!" "how do you know that?"
"i don't.." "but I do know obe thing.. That i am sure that i'll be of use for you, sir! Whether it be with injured, or even the hourse! A–and if you are worried about the paperwork and the letters if i died or got injured you'd have to send for my family don't worry! I–i don't have anyone waiting on me!"
"it's not the paperwork cadet, it's about your safety, we already lose enough as it is, we need more too add into the already growing pile"
It's harsh... But it's true
"b–but i promise sir! I won't be of any hinder to mission, please sir just give this chance to prove myself"
You stood up fast and put your hand over your heart while bowing down
"p-please sir! If i was of any burden or hinder to the mission, y-you can discharge me!"
After erwin though for a bit, your brain and your medical knowledge can be of you well not if you are dead
He finally sighed and agreed of letting you go the expedition on the condition that if you were a hinder to the mission you get discharged the second you come back if you even came back
The day of the expedition
Finally you were out the gates for the first time in your life
The expedition were on a place where they first were able to reach the last expedition but weren't able to go deep because guess what they also discovered.. Yup, this place is filled with titan, it was up a piece of the ground that was higher than the rest
Most who tried to go there were killed almost instantly
Aaaaaand.. We are going there! Yay!
The soldiers first went ahead and tied a robe up to that place in case there was anyone injured and they needed to get to him quickly
It was such a high place
Just then commander erwin shouted at us to start moving
The plan was for half the soldiers (including me) to go up there and try to explore the place with captain levi
We can already hear and feel the footsteps of the disgusting gigantic creatures rooming around
"Alright... Take a deep breath"
"I mean... Al you have to do is to not die and try to save as many people as possible"
"you are not ordered to fight... Which is a good thing"
You said trying to keep yourself from fainting already feeling the cool sweet on the back of your neck
"Alright.. I mean... It can't be worse than that time where a titan came and swiped almost all your team"
...
I lied..
It can be worse than that time
Because this time...
The titans really swiped all your teammates and who are not dead are severely injured..
And captain levi..
Captain levi got pushed away by an abnormal trying to save us and now he is god only knows where
"fuck..." you hear very faint whispers from underneath you
"Come on (f/n)! I know it hurts but please hold on!" You said putting more pressure on his wound
And your friend (f/n)...
He was one of the severely injured soldiers..
His stomach was bitten by a titan but he was sav–freed from its hold as captain levi killed it before he got swiped away...
He was one of the if not the only real friend you've got since you got in..
And probably the only one that believeed in you
"come on (f/n)! You can make just hold on a little longer! Don't close your eyes!"
He won't make it
You both know that too well
He has already lost so much blood and is losing even more...
It's a miracle that he is still breathing until this moment
You have to get him out of here!
The robes!
But it's too dangerous and even though it's almost sunset titans are still active and–
"(f/n)? (f/n)! No no no no no please no! "You started shaking him incase he can wake up but it's over...
You put your two fingers on his neck, checking the pulse
Nothing..
Just cold mixed pale, red and blue skin, and very empty eyes looking at the sky...
Closing them with your shaky red and brown hand from the mix of blood and mud, You see tears pouring down before you feel it
You looked back from the hole in the tree your hiding in, still can feel those disgusting things footsteps
You took in a couple of shaky breaths with your eyes filled with tears
"what is it you want from me?" You asked nothing
Drawing in a couple mlre of breaths before continuing "what is it you want with me?"
You bit your lip, sniffing a bit and wiping your nose with the back of your sleeves
"I don't understand.."
"I cant hear you"
"HELP ME!". "HELP!" "PLEASE SOMEONE!"
You snapped your head to the direction of the sound
"HEEEELLPPP!!!!"
You took a look of determination on your face
"Alright... Now i hear you.."
You took off running silently into the bushes
You have already took off your ODM gear since the gases were empty and it will only weight you down
You looked to your left and saw a couple of unconscious (possibly dead) soldiers
But wait you saw one of them moving
You looked over to see if any titans were nearby
You quickly took off to help them
"harry! It's y/n"
You quickly took a look over them
And opened your medic bag and pulled out a roll of morphine to numb the pain
He doesn't look like he is bleeding out but he is still in pain
He was probably thrown off his his horse
I have to get him down there quickly
"we gon' fix you up, you just need to keep breathing, okay?"
He just groaned in pain and nodded
You quickly gave him the morphine and pulled on his collar to drag him over to where the robes were
While you were dragging him you felt someone hold at your leg
"help.. Please.. Help me"
He had a deep gash on his chest
"don't worry!" You quickly pulled out a cloth and pressed it to his chest
He groaned from the pain, "keep putting pressure on it! Don't worry i'm coming back!" "okay"
You quickly continued your way to the robes
As much as you wanted to also take him with you both him and Harry in one go you could barely drag Harry alone
"we're at the edge, Harry"
You finally made it
You tied the robe and made it the it has two big holes not one and made him wear it
"You have to trust me now, bud"
You quickly pushed him off the edge, holding the other side of the robes and putting around a tree bunk
You hisses as the robes kept burning away at your skin and trying to hold Harry's weight and dangling him down slowly until he reached the ground
A couple of soldiers noticed him once he got down and hurried up to him
Good
You quickly came back looking for the one with the gash on his chest
Hiding behind a tree to watch out for the titans you quickly noticed something wrong
One titan he was starting off to... Light?
No it was probably fire and the fire probably came from one of the damaged ODM gear
But that's weird...
The one you were coming to save... He was obviously alive and breathing and yet he didn't make a single move to go grab him or even look at him
He was just staring into the fire and when he finally moved we both held our breath
It wasn't towards him, it was towards the fire...
That's weird..
As you waited for the titan to get as far way as concidered safe you wrote what you saw in your notebook
You quickly took off to save him and bring him to edge where you did the same thing
...
"one more.. Help me get one more"
You said breathlessly as you laid down after bringing another one to safety
The was number.. 13? 16? 25? 31? i think?
You've already lost count of how many people you have dangled off that robe to safety
You have been doing this for hours...
God.. You looked at your hands completely torn and bloody from that damn round robe
But is doesn't matter..
As long as you are saving people you don't care even if you lost both of your hands
"God, please help me get one more.."
And the whole night went on like this
"God help me get one more..."
Robes
Pain
"one more.."
Blood
Titans
"help.."
Groan of pain
No pulse
Pulse
"please help me..."
Dead
Alive
Injured
"help me get one more.."
Robes
And it goes on and on
And speaking of titans..
Ivve discovered quite a few things about them
1_ they are blind
Well.. Not blind blind but the can see better when the thing is moving or bright like fire or the smoke signals, but not all the time.. Because
2_ they can smell your fear
Technically, that probably explains why most of the people that has already given up the titans didn't bat them an eye because they didn't see them
Well.. They are theories, but i think they could be true considering how you are still alive
You wrote all those in your notebook
You want to give it to someone trustful so that if you died at least someone can know these valuable informations
The sun was begging to rise as you can see already a it's blue rays in the sky
Wow.. You already spent the whole night alive
You have to be extra careful..
Titans will start to wake up..
You had swiped almost the whole place and now started to look for captain levi
You were about to lose hope of finding him until...
"Captain!" You exclaimed quickly running over to him still cautious if titans
"brat?..."
"Captain don't worry it'll be alright..." you quickly inspected him
Broken leg.. Head injury.. And there is a blood trailed up the tree ge was leaning on
"you are... Still alive..?"
"huh.. Well i guess miracles do happen cap" you chuckled as you layed the survey corps green cloak on the ground and pulled him on to it but of course not before bandaging his injuries as best as you could
He groaned as you layed him on the cloak and was about to drag him to the edge but then you felt gigantic footsteps
You looked up to see a titan coming towards the both of you
"brat..." he said weakly and then told you to hide quickly
You ignored him and took a look around and found a little hole in the ground
You quickly dragged him to that dent in the ground
"Captain, don't worry i know what i'm doing just take a deep breath"
"Brat what are you–" you quickly threw him in the hole and covered him with dirt only leaving one eye
"don't worry, just trust me"
The titan was getting closer
You quickly took two blades and made up a fire by rubbing them harsh together and light up a stick of wood full of leaves
You held it up quickly waving it around catching the attention of the titan as it became a lot closer
You quickly threw it faraway into the abyss
You turned around back to face the titan with a stoic look on your face then close your eyes
Happy thoughts
Think of anything
Don't be scared or you are dead
You waited until the titan had passed almost stepping in you
Levi's eyes widened
How did she...?
After the titan fell you quickly ran over to him digging him out of the dirt
"how did you...?"
"I'll explain later, now just hang on"
You quickly layed him on the cloak and took off
When you reached the edge you quickly wrapped the robe around him but before
"Captain, I need you to hold on to that for me" you gave him your notebook
"I really need you to keep it safe for me, If you can just... Give to section commander hange"
"there are still people out there who needs to be saved"
He looked at you and slowly nodded
"you better... come back alive brat.."
You didn’t answer
Just gave him the notebook and lowered him down the cliff
Then went back to see if anyone was still alive
… meanwhile with the scouts few of hours ago
Erwin was sittings in his tent reviewing some maps and brainstorming ideas how to make up for what happened
The loss was unlike anything they have ever faced before
Aside from the fact that humanity’s strongest soldier ; Levi Ackerman is missing
He stopped to take a breather for a second running’s a hand through his well combed hair
Just then Hanji came bursting into the tent “Erwin!”
“What’s is it Hanji?” He says not looking away from the map,he didn’t have time for this–
“You have to see this” he looked up when he heard Hanji speak in her voice”serious” tone
That means something is important
Entering the medical tent, to say he was surprised was an understatement
He was flabbergasted
Soldiers, dozens of soldiers
Injured soldiers
Ones he has written in a paper that they were dead
Is right there in the tent getting treated
He looked at Hanji for an explanation
“They have been coming all night, someone up there is somehow surviving with the swarm of titans and even helping the injured “
“And who are they” asked Erwin
Hanji was about to answer when one injured soldier answered instead
“Y/n l/n”
Erwin immediately looked at him not believing what he said one bit
“She’s been out there helping everyone of us, I saw her with my own eyes”
Some of the still conscious soldiers agreed
“And who is she with”asked Erwin again
“No one, she is all alone”
erwin stood still for a bit not quite believing them ,
Then walked to the hill and summoned all the left soldiers
“Prepare more bandages , beds and medical supplies for the injured soldiers coming down! I want half of you to take care of the injured and the rest guarding the place in case any titans nearby!” Erwin commanded
“Erwin! Shouldn’t we send more soldiers for help?”
“I will but not now Hanji, most of the soldiers are either injured or tired , sending anyone right now will be suicide”
Hanji seemed deep in thought for a minute and then nodded
…Back to present time
“Is that…captain Levi?!” A soldier saw Levi about to be lowered down the cliff
“SECTION COMMANDER HANJI!”
The soldier immediately called for Hanji as she emerged from the tent
They immediately carried Levi to the tent to get him treated but not before he gives Hanji the notebook and whispered “alone” to her.
…back to you
After you made sure to gather everyone who’s heart was still beating ,you immediately took the last one with you and lowered yourself down the cliff where everyone gathered to see the one who saved all these soldiers
You looked back and flinched you saw everyone looking at you like you came back from the dead
… well basically you did…
Walking in between the two lines of flabbergasted people looking at you like you’ve grown a second head and lowering down the hoods of their cloaks was surly a sight for sore eyes
Especially as your steps are unstable , your clothes are battred and ripped, filled with dried blood ,dust and dried clay much like your face, with your commander waiting for you face unreadable as always but there is a glint of pride in his eyes or maybe you are just imagining things
Reaching him and standing directly in front of the commander of the scouts you don’t know what to say or expect
…silence
And then … a salute
The commander of the Scouts just saluted you followed by the other soldiers standing
Is this a dream?
Your knees are buckling from underneath you threatening to fall… which you did…
You passed out from exhaustion right into your commander’s chest
Looks like it’s gonna be one hell of a ride huh
Aaaaaaaaaand done
Phew
That took me a while
Hope you like it … bye
