No matter what the last petal say, nothing will change. As her knight, your duty is to protect her, not to love her. Even if the temptation of her eyes calls to you, even if your heart shatters with every courteous gesture, every bow, every formality, you cannot give in to your own selfish desires. After all, people count on you to keep her safe Phainon, not to love her.
———
Please like for more doodle🥹🫶🍊
Thanks you to the person who requested Phainon Knight x Princess reader!! Sorry that I only do a doodle of it, I need to study now so no more time for clean drawing😔💔
Can I have Phainon and reader when Phainon is friendzoned by reader??:3
“Bro”
Phainon x Female reader
YES, BRO, IT’S MYDEI HER BOYFRIEND NOW😂🙏💔
Bonus..
Like for more drawing please🥹🫶🍊
Guys I don’t have any drawing left, and I need to study now. It was the last one I had, so I’m going to be posting in a longgg time before I get the time and energy to do more drawing. Probably the next holiday??? I’ll just do doodle now🥹🫶
Synopsis (finally spelt it right)- Yandere popular Phainon x Nerdy loser reader who thinks no one likes her… mmmmmghhhh..
A/N- Tysm for the support on my last fic!! The ending was kinda rushed LAWL😓 I had to go out that day and I didn’t wanna leave it unfinished 🧍🏽♀️ set in college au btw
Warning- Stalking, mentions of violence and gore, self deprecating thoughts, sexual thoughts, reader is such a loser tbh…
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What did it mean to be alone? Did it mean you’d have nobody around you for comfort? Did it mean you were just an invisible speck of dust in the eyes of everyone around you? Were you truly lovable? Would you die alone?
These were all questions you grew quite familiar with the existence of, as they’d live in your mind rent free, propagating at the sight of love and passion in the world around you. It hurt, of course it did. Knowing you would never experience such luxuries.
But over time, you grew used to it. You grew used to the silent murmur of degrading thoughts, that lingered at the back of your head, only growing in volume slightly as you’d pass by some random couple cooped up in the lone corner of the library, away from prying eyes besides your own, making out passionately behind a bookshelf, such as right now.
Groaning at the filthy, public display of affection, you kicked off your seat, holding your heavy books to your chest, slinging your backpack- which was filled with even heavier books- over your shoulder, and making your way out your once safe haven of literature and knowledge, which was now dominated by lust. You didn’t wanna think of what that couple may be doing now, with nobody around. As you walked, those thoughts that would ring in your head somehow got louder, it was unbearable for some odd reason- but not enough for you to collapse or anything- but just enough for you to lose focus, causing you to collide with something hard and firm, resulting in you tripping up pathetically and dropping your books with a slight gasp.
“S-sorry-“ You whispered apologetically realising what you had bumped into wasn’t a wall, but a person. Nervousness seeped into your voice as you frantically reached to pick up your books, that were now spread out across the floor, with desperate hands.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, are you hurt?? Do you need me to take you to the nurse’s office?” Yelled out a gentle, handsome voice as their shadow grew larger, the sight of pale, large- but bony hands- reaching out to hold your shoulder, gazing into your eyes with worry, which were fixated onto the floor in embarrassment.
“I’m fine I-“ Your words were cut short once your head had finally lifted up to meet with his. Your eyes locked onto his, which were dominated with a beautiful hue of azure blue, with small yellow pupils that resembled the sun. You felt your face heating up at the very close distance between your nose and his, glancing away shyly. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” You’d say meekly, trying to get up, but feeling something heavy weigh you down. You forgot about that heavy bag you carried. You then heard a soft chuckle, that reverberated nicely through your ear due to the close contact.
“You sure? That bag of yours seems to be holding you down a bit. Here, lemme carry it for you.” Without a second thought, he effortlessly unhooked your bag’s strap around your shoulder, and lifted it up, as if it weighed nothing. The loss of weight made you think more clearly, as you managed to grab all your books and smaller trinkets in quicker succession. You felt his large, warm palm on your back as he coaxed you to stand up slowly, following through just as gently.
“We can go to my dorm room and you could just drop my bag off for me there, if that’s okay with you..” You muttered quietly, avoiding his gaze, knowing it would only make you even more awkward if you kept your eyes on his. He beamed brightly at this, and although you weren’t looking at him, you could easily hear the innocent smile in his voice as he spoke.
“That’s fine with me! And don’t worry, I’m used to carrying heavier objects, so this is light work for me~” He exclaimed proudly, without a care in the world for whoever may hear his less-than-egotistical tone that boomed throughout the empty hallways. You thought it was.. cute. But there was a lingering feeling in you that secreted less-than-innocent thoughts into your mind. ‘God, could he carry me around like that with minimal effort and boast about it for everyone to hear?’ You thought to yourself as the pair of you walked, growing closer to your dormitory. Once the dirtier thoughts dissipated away, another thought came.
“..Uhm, you’re Phainon, right? Captain of the sports team? Shouldn’t you be with your team training or something?” You asked curiously, now turning your head to look at him, having to tilt it upwards slightly to meet his gaze, due to the slight height difference between the two of you, which stirred even more sensations in you, that you tried to ignore as he spoke.
“Ah, training is cancelled for us today. One of my members was gravely injured a few nights prior, and I, as the sports captain, firmly believe that a good days training must include the whole squad. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to critic each other, and build stronger bonds between us all equally!” Phainon declared virtuously, holding his head up high with his eyes closed, a hand over his heart. At this, you giggled softly, admiring his show of righteousness and dedication to his team.
“They must feel so lucky to have such a strong-willed captain such as yourself, who cares so much about his teammates, Phainon..” You admitted gently, before wanting to take it all back as you realised how corny you may have sounded. Gosh, you couldn’t even form a proper compliment. Was he creeped out by you now? Did you make him cringe? Did he find you weird now?
Amidst your internal turmoil, Phainon laughed quietly, a faint pink flush spreading onto pale, slim cheeks, his voice now taking on a more shyer, sheepish tone as he began once more.
“You’re praising me too much here. I’m sure they’re more than happy to have me as their captain, I know I am. But I fear I’m sometimes a bit too encouraging at times, which may overwhelm them a bit. I’m working on it though!”
To that, you smiled at him sympathetically, acknowledging his worries as he now had his face down turned and away from yours.
“I’m not the best at comforting, but if you’re worrying too much about how you’re training your team mates, then maybe that’s a good thing, y’know? Worrying about things like this just means you’re worrying out of good will, which shows that you truly care. I’m more than certain your team mates are aware of this, but if it’s bothering you so much, why don’t you talk to them about it? I’m sure they’d understand.” You spoke calmly, the words flowing out your mouth with precision. As you said, you weren’t the best at comforting another person, you couldn’t even help yourself, but the topic of bad thoughts and feelings was something you knew like the back of your hand, so why not at least try to comfort someone on a topic you knew so well?
“I.. thank you. I guess I never saw it that way, I always thought my worries were a product of my own faults, which in turn, would make me even more worried.” He admitted lightly, his voice becoming less pronounced and more relaxed, which was short lived as he continued yet again, tone now taking up a more teasing lilt. “..Though, I didn’t take someone as quiet as you to be such a smooth talker. You’ve got a way with words, that’s for sure. I almost thought my heart was about to jump out and end me right there!” He grinned, his expression becoming less somber, and more playful as he teased you, monitoring your own expression shifting from one of pity, to one of surprise.
“You’re just teasing me now.. I’m really not that good with words. I just know how it feels to be overwhelmed with such thoughts, I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through that, especially someone as hardworking as yourself.”
As you both drew to the entrance of your room’s door, which was situated in a lone corner of the campus, where other quiet kids liked to stay, he flashed you a boyish, toothy grin.
“Hmm, say what you want. It’s always the quiet ones who shock us louder ones with their words the most. Oh! I forgot to ask you for your name, I don’t think we’ve met before.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m [Name]. Uh, I like to study literature and ancient texts, but I major in science. Not that you needed to know all of that anyways.” You answered absentmindedly as you fumbled with your key in the door’s lock hole, opening it quietly, picking up your bag and looking at him.
“Oh, no way! I also like to study ancient texts! I major in history, so we have something in common! Here, I’ll give you my number, we can chat more frequently!!” He chirped happily, quickly swiping a pen from his pant’s pocket and grabbing your hand, scribbling his number messily onto your palm.
“Our schedules may be different, but I’ll still look for time to talk to you, [Name]. I gotta run though, I have an essay to complete for Professor Anaxa..” Dullness and gloom creeped into his tone as he rolled his eyes, which you could only copy. Professor Anaxa- or Anaxagoras as he liked it- was definitely someone you’re glad didn’t teach practical science, and instead, theoretical and spiritual science, as well as history.
“I can imagine that.. anyways, bye Phainon! I’ll add you later.” You waved him goodbye, before disappearing into your dorm and shutting the door with a last smile to him, locking it securely.
‘Perfect.’ He thought to himself, as he began his journey back to his own dorm, his footsteps echoing through the hallway as he walked.
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You sat at your desk at the peak time of exactly 3:58am in the morning, papers messily scattered across the wooden expanses, as pen met paper hastily, untidily. You were so unbelievably tired of being assigned research project after research project by your ever so cruel, demanding professor, who happened to be an even crueller teacher than Professor Anaxagoras, or Anaxa as Phainon liked to call him.
Speaking of Phainon, you had forgotten to add his number to your contact list. Getting up and walking over to your bedside to unplug your fully charged phone from its charger, you couldn’t help but notice something small and black on your bed’s headboard, just above where you’d rest your head on your pillow. Assuming it was just a mere bug, you flicked it away with your fingers, and opened your phone, adding Phainon’s number.
What you didn’t know, was that said ‘bug’ wasn’t gone.
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Phainon leaned over his own desk, nervously looking at his computer screen as you stared at the camera he had placed to discreetly in the middle of one night. He was a mess, even messier than those papers that mapped out your desk, that were littered with scribbles and whatnot. Drenched in sweat, biting his nails whilst running another hand through his now matted, damp white locks, he stared in anticipation. It didn’t help how you also hadn’t added his phone number and messaged him hours prior. You must’ve hated him, he thought.
As you flicked the camera aimlessly and turned to your phone, he let out a long sigh of utmost relief, as if he weighed nothing, slumping back on his chair in solitude. He was at his desk all day after the two of you parted ways, he was glad he had a reason to, considering it would be more than suspicious if the captain of the sport’s team wasn’t at training today..
He reminisced shortly on the scene from last night, as he followed one of his members home from practice. Said member was giving you the dirtiest of looks a few days prior in a crowded hallway, laughing and making odd faces as you’d walk by. Phainon knew he just couldn’t let such a crime to unpunished, especially with that dejected, sad look on your face. Oh how he wanted to break his stupid teammate’s legs right then and there, and just bunch you up in his arms and take you away someplace else, comforting you and praising you gently whilst peppering kisses all over your sad face.. he wondered if you were into praise and manhandling , though, he did know that going for that route would mean carnage. So instead, he simply opted for just the first part instead, breaking that bastard’s knees of course!
He had cornered the unknowing guy in the middle of an alleyway from behind, and was clad in a dark black hoodie, with the inside of the hood being purple, dark pants, and black gloves to remove any DNA evidence from his bat if it was ever taken into custody. With one swift hand, he drove his bat hard against the other boy’s knees, which made him cry out and fall. To avoid raising suspicions, he bent over the figure and hit him harder, whilst digging his shoe over his mouth, silencing him effectively. Once his legs were on the verge of breaking, as he checked by roughly twisting them with his free foot to check for any fractures, he bent down further, lifting him up by his shirt’s collar.
“You wanna talk shit about my [Name]? I’ll cut your tongue off clean and shove it down your throat like the mangy dog you are. And I know where you live, and I also happen to know that your stupid little sister’s being bullied. We wouldn’t want her bullies to go further, would we? So keep your mouth shut, unless you want to see her hanging from her ceiling tomorrow.” His voice was muffled, due to the hoodie’s collar covering his mouth. With a swift kick to his face, he concealed his bat and started walking off into the night, making it back to the campus and sneaking in through his window, to avoid raising any suspicions.
Back to the current moment, he let out an involuntary moan, as he felt something warm and gooey coat his shorts. He chuckled softly as he lifted them up, seeing the white expanse of his cum coating his underwear and shorts, as well as his big, lengthy cock, his angry tip pulsating and spewing out more cum somehow. He gently rubbed his thumb against his tip.
“Tsk.. I’ve made such a mess.. if only you were here, [Name]. You’d look so sweet cleaning this mess up you made me make.. I bet you’d be so fucking loud too, gagging and choking over me.” He spoke reverently, imagining you sucking his dick lovingly, on your knees and looking up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, his cock spreading open your lips. Oh, how he wished his cock could spread open both sets of your lips.. With a sigh, he peeled off his bottoms and carried them into his bathroom, along with his phone. Setting his phone aside, he piled his boxers and shorts with his other dirty clothes in the laundry basket by his cupboards, before hopping into the shower to draw some cold water from the shower head, but not before placing his phone in a safe corner, away from any water, just to watch you on an app that could also monitor your activities through that camera placed in your room, that had, by miracle, not flung to a dusty corner of your room as you flicked it away with no thought. It was definitely reliable, to say the least. Being able to watch you from anywhere was most certainly a good pastime.
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Anxiousness creeped into your mind as you were thinking of a message to send Phainon. Would you be nonchalant? Overly sweet? Funny?? Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought of a message to send him, before finally tapping the appropriate keys for each word in your message.
[Name]: “Hi Phainon!! I’m really sorry I didn’t add your number before, I was really cooped up with work and assignments, so I didn’t get the chance to contact you earlier today!”
You anxiously waited for a reply, but didn’t get one for a few minutes. Thoughts lingered in your head- Was he asleep? Was he airing you on purpose for not messaging him sooner? Was he angry at you? Did he find you annoying? Were you just a charity case?-
Your endless supply of thoughts came to a sudden halt as you heard the nice ‘ding!’ of your phone, and his message pop up at the top of your screen in banner form.
Phainon: “Hey [Name] !! It’s completely fine, I was busy too with my own affairs, so you’re not to blame! I will admit, I was still a bit upset when I didn’t receive any response or notification of a message from you tho… (*´Д｀*)…”
The usage of those deathly adorable emoticons, and his ‘texting language’ in his message made you coo and squeal in delight, you didn’t think such a popular, charming guy would use such displays in his texts. Though, he was quite bubbly in real life too. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d also use these cute emoticons with his friends as you typed out your response message.
[Name]: “Omg I’m so sorry! :(( I’ll make up for it, I swear. Idk how, but I will!! 😼 And btw, that emoticon was so cute!! I didn’t think someone like you would use them!”
Phainon: “Haha, I do like to use them from time to time. They really capture how I feel yk? Typical emojis don’t exactly cut it for me (＞人＜;)..”
Before you could write your own reply back, he sent another message in quick succession.
Phainon: “Besides, someone as cute as you deserves to be spoken to in equally as cute ways ^_−☆”
At this, you flushed greatly and fell onto your bed, kicking your feet and burying your face into your pillow. There was absolutely no way in hell such a popular guy just called some loser like you cute! But he did complement your manner of speech a lot earlier… Despite feeling so cringed out in the moment, you also simply couldn’t help but feel like a lovesick fool, fantasising about being his girlfriend, what it would be like.
[Name]: “Oh wow, thanks Phainon. I honestly don’t know what to say- I’ve never been spoken to like this before 😭 ty tho, I really appreciate it. :))” You sent back quickly, not caring how corny or stupid you may have sounded with that text, simply focusing on a life with Phainon as his girlfriend, walking hand in hand after games.. going on romantic dates.. him saving you from the clutches of your dark thoughts..
Phainon: “Aww, I’m surprised nobody’s ever spoken the truth! Well, I’m here now, and I’ll 100% make sure you know your worth!! Anyways, you better get to sleep, or I’ll drag myself back to your dorm and put you to sleep myself ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ !”
[Name]: “Okay I willlll dw!! I’m putting my assignments away as we speak- or type. My stupid prof assigns sm work everyday! Now I’m regretting ever thinking poorly of Prof Anaxagoras, I’d rather have him! 😞💔 Anyways, to avoid your wrath, I’ll go to sleep, but you better too! Ik I said you’re a good team captain, but even captains need good rest too!! Goodnight!”
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Phainon laughed huskily at the sight of you blushing and kicking your feet on your bed at his message, as he rewatched the recorded footage on his phone- since he was busy washing himself up-. He had meant every word in his message, no denying that. You were the sweetest, most cutest thing he had ever come across in his life before, and it was his duty to make that known to you. Albeit, it was difficult at first, considering how distant the two of you were, regarding classes, cliques, personal schedules and whatnot. But now, he had done it, and he had definitely implemented himself into your mind. But he didn’t want to assume he was fully in control, that just didn’t sit right with him. Because although he had made you swoon, you were truly the owner of his heart.
As he made himself comfortable in his own bed, after having cleaned himself and his room up, now watching the live footage from your room. You were indeed curled up in your bed, as he watched from the sneaky camera on your headboard. The camera had night-light vision, so he could easily see your soft, peaceful sleeping face. Your lashes fluttered gently over your soft cheeks, oh, how he wanted to squish your face so hard ‘til it’d burst.. he’s sure confetti and glitter would come out !
Alas, he himself put his phone down, keeping it next to his head on his pillow. He had only your notifications on, in case you were in a life threatening emergency, and required his knightly aid. He felt himself drifting off, his face pressed against the cloth of his pillow, which was actually one of your old t-shirts, that was coated with your scent, as if it was sewn in along with the cloth.. Your scent, the memories of today- and yesterday-, made him sleep like a baby reborn, a sweet smile gracing his features.
I SUDDENLY TRANSMIGRATED TO A BLOODY THRONE WAR NOVEL AND I CAN’T GO BACK!
Yandere Crown Prince Phainon x Fem Transmigrated Reader
WARNINGS: obsessive and manipulative behaviors, depictions of violence, blood, slight gore, death of minor characters, non-consensual affection, phainon is delusional, parallels to amphoreus' storyline which can be considered as spoilers. YANDERE/DARK CONTENT AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION. 11.2k words.
ALSO CONTAINS: Isekai/transmigration themes.
One of these days I’m gonna put myself on a silver platter and serve it to Phainon.
You typed in your phone, gushing to your friend about the new update from the novel both of you had been following lately.
The Era Nova. An action-thriller novel about a charming crown prince thrust into a bloody game of court and throne. The story follows how Phainon, the crown prince with a golden heart, will navigate the dangers of the messy palace life, and how he shall succeed to finally become the emperor of the kingdom.
You were absolutely smitten with Phainon. First and foremost, the author surely did their best job at hiring good artists for the illustrations, because damn did they make justice of the ‘charming and handsome’ part of Phainon's character. Secondly, the gripping scenes of Phainon finally seizing the power from his enemies might've done something to your brain.
[Blue eyes suddenly flashed golden as he raises his sword and lays waste inside the throne room. What used to be regal figures now lie like broken statues, the red on their backs bleed farther than their capes.
Ascending from the blood of past kings, the new emperor, Phainon, has arrived.]
The words of the novel still stuck to your mind like glue, are you wrong for thinking that scene is just,
So hot?
phainon looked so YUMMY in the ending scene like the mask and cloak??? hmmm yes, and he makes even blood look good.
wtf
ur so real for that tho, but the ending's kinda sad don't you think? he'll be left alone in the palace far away from his people
oh-
Maybe it's the way Phainon’s character is brought into the story, but he's this kind-hearted prince who transformed into an imposing ruler. The way his character hardened and developed pulled in your heartstrings. He brings conflict to your emotions, on how you loved his radiant and princely side, but at the same time is swept off your feet by his blinding majesty.
Must be the reason why you loved reading this novel. It seems that the author did a great job of stringing you, the reader, into Phainon's emotions and inner world. It makes you wish for the success of his plans in the story, but it also pains you to see him change as a price.
affected by literal fucking words and pixels, please save me from era nova, why can't i just pick a fav and go??? why do i also have to feel for them like please leave me alone
he just wanted to be an appraiser and live normally with his people, why'd they have to do him like that
ikr, like noooo phainon my sweet baby :(
he succeeded but at what cost? :((((
Phainon ascends to the throne, the end. You saw this coming from a mile away, but actually seeing something that's been a part of your daily life for months finally concluding did hurt you a bit. There's a pang of emptiness, ah, the feeling of finishing a book and never hearing from that world again.
Sucks.
You'll probably get over it and find a new thing to fixate on soon, but for now you'll lament Phainon’s fate and think about the damn novel for a few more hours.
well becoming an emperor so suddenly sounds kinda lonely so if he needs a princess by his side im just here 🙏
girl, you'll die from the court shenanigans alone lol
oof yeah u right
[are you willing to do that?]
fuck yeah lol, all in for PHAINON
[heh, come here then]
??? it's 4am rn tho
Don't wanna go out yet. You're supposed to type, but suddenly you felt the most splitting headache you ever had the misfortune to feel. Your vision goes blurry and suddenly, everything's so dark.
★
You woke up to the fluttering of soft…lace?
Opening your eyes, you are faced with the soft swishing of the lacy fabric hanging up on the bedposts. The fabric dancing in the air caresses your face, the gentle touch of lace rouses you further from sleep. Wait, bedposts?
Realizing the anomaly in your room, you stood up. Well, tried to do so. Because your head suddenly feels like it's groaning in pain and so do you.
“Oh no miss! Don't stand up too fast, your head injuries might worsen!”
A brown-haired lady wearing a black dress with white apron suddenly ushers towards you. Her face is frowning, filled with as much worry as her frantic voice has.
White apron… like a maid outfit.
You stilled, brain churning for the last bits of the previous night. For one, you are texting your friend about Era Nova, second is that they asked you to ‘come to them’ at such an ungodly hour, and then… and then what?
“Master! The lady has awoken!”
What happened last night?
Your head suddenly throbs in pain again, it's akin to a migraine that suddenly surprises you when you least expect it. The difference though from an ordinary migraine is that this one seems to carry something.
A lot of things, memories to be exact, actually.
You are the only daughter of the count of this area. You are currently in your estate at Okhema, and that you had a bad fall at… some market?
More and more flooded to your head, some crystal clear memories and some are fuzzy, something bathed in yellowing lights — childhood memories. It doesn't clear itself though, as if it's decided that those are not of importance.
“My daughter… how do you feel?”
A voice interrupts your train of thoughts. There enters a man seemingly in his late forties. He's wearing clothes that seem to be out of a theater play you watched back then. His tall stature exudes elegance, something out of a regency drama.
Where are you exactly?
You didn't speak, mind running in different directions, different explanations and reasonings for whatever absurdity you are currently in as of now. Are you kidnapped? Did you get drunk last night and wandered to a TV set? Why would they play along then if that's the case? Is this a new, untapped-by-science side effect of combined lack of sleep and caffeine overdose?
All of your hypothesis sounds like it was spoken by insanity itself. Why would this happen? Is this real? Dozens of questions floated around your mind until it was cleared away by the same voice.
“My dearest, we have investigated the entirety of Marmoreal market and found no signs of the carriage that hit you. I'm deeply sorry for this news, but don't worry, father is not going to stop looking for…”
Your ‘father’s’ voice droned in and out of your ear, his words seem to be mixing and swirling into your senses.
Except for one.
Marmoreal. Then you also remembered one of the information bits that flooded to your brain, Okhema. You were so distraught earlier that you didn't process the memories itself, the familiar places and names suddenly makes sense, finally tracing back to their origin.
The Era Nova.
Marmoreal is the center of Okhema’s trade, a place where half of the story convenes because Phainon frequents this place so much. The kingdom that hailed him as one of their crown princes is Okhema.
Maybe it was really insanity who penned these events unfolding to you right now.
“Master, excuse my interruption, but my lady seems to be in great pain earlier, she may not be ready for that conversation,” The woman who you first saw when you woke up warily said to the man beside you. In your memories, she is your lady in waiting.
“Right, of course, please take care of her and make sure she rests.”
The man leaves, the brown haired maid follows, telling you that she's going to fetch you soup and medicine.
Left alone in your thoughts, you only can look outside the window. Behind the branch where two songbirds are perched, singing a duet — lies the Marmoreal Palace, in front of your very own eyes.
Insanity, yes, this must be insanity.
There's no fucking way you just got isekai’d in your favorite novel.
★
Of all the things to read before your isekai trip, it had to be this dramatic thriller of a genre.
You sluggishly stood up after your maid left you with the soup and medicine. You walked towards an ornate mirror, something that looks like it belongs to a museum, not in a home.
With that in mind, you found out two things.
First is that your family is rich. Second is that despite being transmigrated into a fantasy, kingdom-themed novel, you still looked the same.
Yes, unfortunately, no waking up in the body of a pink-haired maiden with flawless skin and plump lips.
At least you're rich, right?
“Man, I wanna know what it feels like to have natural pink hair.” You sighed in front of your mirror. You do look a bit more radiant at least, as if you finally scrounged enough money to contact a dermatologist and do something about your eyebags.
Yes, yes, it might seem like you were just put on a dress for some play but at least your face looks clearer. A win is a win.
Going back, you repeatedly consider your family’s status. Rich and has a stable business? Then it is perfect. An unspoken rule in the isekai world is that, peace comes from not fucking around with the plot. It seems that you're in a lineage of businessmen, not royalty, so there's no reason for you to get tangled up in the bloody ‘court games’ that Era Nova is all about.
Gotta thank the plot for giving you some background on who you are in the story at least. Still, you've opted for pretending that you lost some of your memories, much to your family's horror — so that asking painfully obvious questions in case you forget something isn't too strange.
That, and also because you've seen this in many transmigration novels that you wanted to try it.
You probably should've stuck to something along the lines of romance or slice-of-life novels instead if you knew that this is going to happen.
All feels surreal, you never expected to experience being sent into the world of a novel. You thought isekai is just a fantasy genre you only read.
But alas, you're here now. There's no cameras or crew members revealing you're in a prank, a show, or something. It's been too long for that.
★
Crazy thought, but what if I try finding Phainon?
You suddenly think while you're in the bath, a pair of maids helping you scrub your body. It's been a few days since you got here. You did your best in adjusting, using the memories that were given to you and the books which, luckily, you can understand and read.
It also helps that you're proficient about The Era Nova back in the real world. You've been into forums and posts discussing the plot and the worldbuilding of this work. Save for the more innate traditions and customs, your knowledge about the events and how this kingdom came to be is more than enough for you to navigate in your daily life here.
In fact, you might be too proficient, because your butler let out a stray comment telling you that you have the potential to be a historian in the academy.
Your earlier thought about finding Phainon resurfaced again. Now that you think about it properly, it seems to be the stupidest idea you've made as of now.
No, no! Do not get involved with Phainon, he's the most direct, one-way ticket to the plot.
You didn't think further, instead you relaxed into the bath.
★
Thankfully, you have recovered. You think it's because your brain finally conjured all the memories it needed, hence your headaches had finally stopped.
Your father now also reluctantly lets you go outside again, but he strictly advises you to be careful, a long spiel of reminders and shoving at least two knights with you everywhere you go.
Wow, your family had knights.
Today, you're heading to the Marmoreal Market, where you're supposed to have been run over by a carriage before. You shivered at the thought, although nothing concrete came into mind when you tried remembering it.
Maybe it's mercy, who wants to remember that kind of pain?
Your carriage moves along the cobblestones. Estates, parks, ornate fountains and rows of wooden stalls pass by your window. Straight out of a fairytale kingdom. You couldn't believe your eyes, your heart was pounding. It's real, you're really here.
You only went out to have a closer look at the world you got thrown into. You knew what it's like in the novel, but seeing it in person is a whole ‘nother experience that cannot be replicated.
Today, you're going to investigate, but you guess it wouldn't hurt to explore Okhema too.
★
It's unfortunate that you only have two feet and can only go in a single direction at a time when the Marmoreal Market has a dozen pathways and shops calling your attention.
It's vastly different from the real world, that's for sure.
The colorful tapestries draped into the rooftops of each store weave a grand picture to your eyes. The goods displayed felt magical, even what's supposed to be simple bread sold in the west area looks like it's glazed in gold and the dresses hanging in the southern part all have intricate stitching that make the fabric feel alive.
Your eyes are twinkling in wonder. It felt like you were a kid again in an amusement park, the excitement on each turn of your head palpable. You took advantage of your sizable allowance and picked pastries and trinkets that interest you, those that seem otherworldly that you'll probably never see again once you go back.
Right, what about going back to the real world?
Magic exists in the story of The Era Nova. One of the shops here sells magical items. It's your main objective for the day. The concept of other worlds could still be seen as strange, but it's worth a shot, you think.
When you finally reach the shop, it's unassuming at first, only a crooked wooden signage and an old wind chime greet you when you lay your eyes on its facade, but what's inside is completely different.
Rows and rows of shelves filled with various jars and knick-knacks welcomed you. It's like you stepped into the set of Alice in Wonderland. The line of shelves leads to a counter, a single woman faces you, her little corner filled with hanging plants and more trinkets.
The woman on the counter only stares at you. At first you think it's strange, but remembering that you're inside a novel cuts off that thought. Maybe it's normal here. In most novels, characters that have to do something with magic tend to be a bit mysterious and quirky anyway.
You continued browsing, eyes looking for strange artifacts that could be connected to how you can go home. It feels like a shot in the dark as you have no idea what could be considered ‘a strange artifact’ because all of these things are foreign to you.
As you collect your courage to just straight up ask the bizarre questions of ‘portals’ and ‘other worlds’ to the woman on the counter, a flicker catches your attention.
A hand mirror, it's embellished with small golden suns and silver moons on its frame. The handle is just the same, with a bigger sun and moon eclipsing at the center.
But the design isn't what catches your attention, it's what's within the mirror itself. Because instead of reflecting the shop’s interior — it's reflecting the inside of your real world bedroom instead.
You nearly jumped towards the glass display it's being held in. The woman on the counter stares at you before giving a somewhat pitied look.
“It's a great piece, but unfortunately that's reserved for a special customer.”
Your heart drops at her statement. No, no way, this could be the key to going home. You're going to have this one, even if you have to put trade offers that are disadvantageous to you. As you were about to open your mouth to argue, you were interrupted by a chime.
“Lord Phainon, are you here for your reservation?”
“Yes, thank you for keeping it for me.” A man — no Phainon, walks into the counter. If your heart dropped earlier, it's now currently digging itself lower than the ground. Of all people, it just had to be him.
The woman walks past you and into the glass display. She grabs the mirror and heads into a door hidden by plants. This leaves you awkwardly standing beside the Phainon.
“It's rare to see other customers here, I'm starting to think that I’m the only one who knows of this place honestly,” Phainon casually starts off. You shouldn't be surprised at his friendly demeanor as you've read about it a thousand times already, but that friendliness directed to you makes your heart race at a dizzying speed.
Snow-white hair that's slightly tousled, the striking blue eyes, like it's twinkling as he smiles. His tall stature is more obvious due to the small space but his stance is relaxed as he watches over you, the differences in your height just perfect enough to display the golden sun on his neck at your eye level. There's no denying, it's really Phainon in the flesh, and the novel did not lie, he's the most charming and radiant person you've seen in the entire time you're here.
Oh dear, he's so beautiful.
You would've gushed about him more if it weren't for the silence that's hanging over you and the current situation about that mirror.
“Ahh… yeah this store is… really interesting!” The response came as awkward as you can imagine, although Phainon didn't seem to mind as he chuckled and continued the conversation.
“I know, right? The shop’s filled with so many antiques and magical devices that I couldn't imagine how long it would take to appraise them all, they seem endless and that's what draws me here,” His tone is cheery, a smile spreading across his face.
You nearly forgot that Phainon has a hobby of collecting antiques and appraising them.
The lady comes out of the room carrying a box — presumably the mirror with your room in it inside. She hands the box to Phainon, but her stare never leaves you.
“Miss if you'd like, we have more hand mirrors and other displays-”
“Oh, is the lady over here interested in this mirror too?” Phainon suddenly interrupts the lady, who answers his question with a nod.
“Actually… I really wanted to check this specific mirror,” you softly said, might as well whisper with how quiet it went out of your mouth.
“My, I didn't expect to make a lady sad today. Unfortunately, I did reserve this a week ago… and I’m kind of expecting this piece — but! If you'd like, you can join me in appraising this, you said you wanted to see it closely right?” He offers, his smile widens as he turns to you, seemingly proud of his solution.
Oh no, he has such a nice smile.
Who could say no to that?
You take his offer.
★
In the first place, why do you still want to go home?
You woke up in a world filled with magic and whimsy, a world that looks like it has your dreams for its foundation. From a fantasy novel to a daily occurence.
So why?
Maybe it's because despite being physically here, you never really belonged. The monotonous voice that calls out to your ‘parents’, the practiced greetings, and the feeling of disconnect from your very self.
It's like you're just playing a role.
A role you cannot take seriously. Because back there, you have a life, a pretty boring one but it's yours. You're wondering if your cat is fed back home, you're thinking about your friend who wanted to meet up that day, and is your family worried? What about your real body? And your phone.
Oh you miss the glorious internet even for all its flaws. Maybe you wouldn't be as lost here if search engines existed.
The thoughts barrage your supposed peace of mind again, which is why you broke your promise of not getting involved with Phainon.
You need to see that damned mirror.
Isn't it funny how things are progressing just like an actual isekai novel? Because you do remember a few titles that had the protagonist promising to stray themselves off of the plot only to get plunged right in the middle of it moments later.
You mentally swatted the thought.
Because unlike the romance novels you've seen, the main driving force of this story is violence and revenge. Phainon succeeded in the story by removing all that tried stopping him. If you make a mistake — get too entangled, you might just get yourself extremely hurt.
There's a hypothesis that if you were to die in an isekai, your soul might just go back to reality. It's a hypothesis that you wish to not prove by looking for alternative paths instead, but if all comes crashing down, you'd rather have your death not by a weapon.
But… there's the alternative already right? Maybe getting a bit involved with the main character is a small price to pay for that. If the mirror proves to be the way of going home, then your involvement with Phainon would have no way of going any further.
So here you are, meeting the very man himself. The Sun of Okhema and the star of The Era Nova, Phainon.
You're not one for lying to yourself, you're a little too excited about seeing Phainon again. He’s totally your type, and if you're as headstrong as those female leads in isekai, you might've even risked it for him.
Well, you're not, and you want to go home now.
“Over here, my lady!” A loud voice beckoned you. With how cheery it sounded, you knew it's definitely Phainon even without looking.
He's wearing casual attire, too casual. White dress shirt that’s a little too sheer, and plain black slacks that go straight down to his leather shoes that's studded with small golden bits on its straps (which you found out are small suns as you walk closer to him). For all the straightforwardness of his outfit, the black choker that wraps around his neck stands out.
You see, you have no qualms about his clothing choices, but the sheer fabric is quite literally framing his muscles to all its glory and you’re a teeny tiny bit flustered. The choker isn't helpful either, as that leads your stare on his neck and jawline instead.
Ah self, pardon my bullshit just this once, not everyday you see the man of your dreams.
You swallow your embarrassment and approach him. You've opted to just a simple wave, but Phainon had other plans — he grabs your waving hand gently kisses it, his eyes never leaving you.
Well, shit.
“Oh? Was that too direct? Apologies, it's a common courtesy here so I just got used to it,” Phainon suddenly retracts himself when he sees your half open mouth.
“No, no, it's fine! Don't worry about it,” You responded almost too quickly, “Anyways, so…”
“The mirror, yes?”
“Yes, yes, the mirror! Can I have a look at it?” Now that you listen closely, it seems weird that you're so eager to ask for someone else’s personal belongings, but for the sake of your trip back home, you're willing to just swallow your pride for now.
“Hmm… no?” Phainon playfully answers, the smile on his face growing.
“Ah?” You could only utter that syllable. Did he finally catch on how weird this entire thing is?
“What I mean is not yet, we have to appraise it first.”
You could only stare at him dumbfounded before laughing it off. Phainon has a hobby of appraising antiques, this is one of his most highlighted quirks in the novel as he wishes to finally break free from his royal duties and work as a full-time appraiser.
Unfortunately, he has to let go of that dream after bearing the crown in the ending.
So as an avid reader and a fan of Phainon, you just let him talk your ear off about the intricate carvings of the mirrors and what tool could have been used in making them.
Just this once Phainon, because in the upcoming years, you'll have bigger worries than telling me the approximate age of this hand mirror.
You smile at how enthusiastic his voice sounded, but as he got into explaining the mirror itself, the entire thing started to feel off.
The mirror, which showed you your old bedroom, now suddenly feels… too normal. Plain. Nothing.
Back in the shop, it's eye-catching. Not only because it showed your real world, but also because the object itself seemed to be calling out your attention.
But right now, as Phainon traces his fingers on the embellished grooves, it feels nothing, like the magic sucked out of it. The suns and moons are now just ordinary embossing on the thing’s surface.
You and Phainon are currently sitting on a bench just right outside the palace. The two of you might've sunk too deep in conversation that the lamp posts that towers you are already lit up. The skies are blurring into orange blue tones.
“Oops, I got carried away. But I hope the lady is satisfied with my appraisal? Hopefully I was able to give you the closest look to it.”
Phainon moves closer to you, before gently putting the hand mirror to your lap.
“It's yours now, a gift, you're the only one who listened this long,” He grins, before standing up and offering his hand, “It's nightfall now, so I will walk you to your carriage.”
The two of you walked across the streets that's starting to liven up. Stalls are being set, with vendors hanging up lights and signages. The kids are running around, the adults sighing behind them. It seems like a bazaar is being set up.
A bazaar?
[As night befalls, the festivities rose. In between the hanging lights and the rows of wooden stalls, lies a plot turned against Phainon.
The assassin waits, a rifle at hand. The people flow until they fill the crevices of the bazaar. In the mind of the hunter, a flock of panicked sheep will cover the fallen prey long enough for him to get away.]
“Fuck was that today?” You whispered to yourself, which earned a curious look from Phainon.
Assassinations. This is what you're talking about as danger and Phainon go hand in hand. Of course, one less royal is one less contestant to the crown.
And now, you might've gotten yourself involved at just the perfect timing to be right beside him when he's supposed to be shot from above.
Phainon did survive this in the novel, but you're not quite sure if you would. The two of you are heading closer to the bazaar when you decide to do your last-ditch effort at distracting him.
You ran towards a little girl selling flowers and bought whatever flower catches your eye, it so happens to be a bunch of hyacinths.
You didn't even collect your change from the girl when you walked back to Phainon and handed him the flowers. “Uhh.. I just wanted to give these to you, thanks for today, Phainon!”
Right, he wanted to buy flowers in the bazaar that day.
“Oh and also, let's just take a detour, the bazaar lights kinda make me dizzy… unless you need to buy something there?”
“No, I don't need anything… thank you too.” Phainon answered. Thank god it worked.
Right in front of you, Phainon is smiling softly, staring at the bunch of hyacinths that are now in his hands. He has the prettiest smile, wish he could keep that.
As the two of you walked to your carriage, it started to slowly sink in that maybe Phainon is not just a character, at least not right now, because that smile felt real.
You hope the assassin gets tired of waiting.
★
When you sat down in the carriage to collect your thoughts, you noticed a few things that were a bit wrong.
In the flurry of your thoughts and emotions earlier, there's one thing you'd miss — the honorifics. Despite him being a complete chatterbox, he's still a prince, and never once in your entire conversation had you referred to him as such.
Oh god, does he now think I’m disregarding his status like the other nobles and royals that are against him?
You've known that your family are businessmen, but you only recently found out that you're prominent ones. Your nobility goes far and wide in Okhema, your family's influence in trade could certainly be used as leverage to the likes of Phainon.
Oh no, I hope I’m not on his hitlist yet, I didn't mean to disrespect him.
Now that you mention it, you might've acted suspicious because of your fixation on that mirror. And now, you also feel bad for trying to claim something he technically owns, knowing his background in the story.
You comforted yourself with the fact that it's his idea to meet like this though, also his idea to let go of the antique, but you now can only hope that it's a genuine meeting and not some sort of test for the weird daughter of the biggest business man in the city.
Right, he did give me the mirror.
You propped up the thing that led you in this situation. An antiquated mirror, which now should've shown you your real world, if your hypothesis was right.
But just like earlier, it doesn't even feel magical or even interesting, as if the mystique that led you to it was knocked straight out of it.
“Fuck, don't tell me that I was only hallucinating back when I was in that shop… to think that I might've made Phainon uncomfortable and pressured him into giving this up, ugh.” You buried your face in your palms, sighing deeply.
A thought popped into your head — the Academy. The Grove of Scholars do have a few mages in their ranks, they're the teachers of magic in this world. Maybe they could help you identify whatever's in the mirror.
Alright, let's make use of this thing, sorry Phainon, but it's a gift now isn't it?
★
The academy in this world is bizarre.
It sits atop of a ginormous tree that towers the entire field. Its branches envelop the surrounding area, in them, different buildings are encased, which can be accessed by the winding pathways that wrap around the trunk.
The tree isn't really the most bizzare thing to you though, it's the stairs. There's special devices scattered that could bring you to the various facilities of the grove, but stairs are still the predominant way of moving around here.
“I'm not built for this thing… is this why they always make the art for those scholar characters bulky despite them claiming they're feeble?” You sat down on one of the staircases. You checked back on your bag and saw that the hand mirror was still there, you breathed a sigh of relief.
“Are you new here, miss? Haha, yes the grove has a lot of stairs, but once you enroll here, you'll get used to it!” A bubbly voice suddenly comes beside you.
“Oh, hello! Yes… it's embarrassing I get tired this easily, I'm not here to enroll though, I'm just here to inquire about an antique.” You answered the pink-haired girl.
Her smile brightens and she shows you a badge, it's the same as the academy’s.
“Oh, I'm a student here, miss, rest assured that I'm knowledgeable enough though. If you want to tell me about it, maybe I can save you from climbing further up there!”
You take her kind offer and tell her everything you've noticed about the mirror you're holding. She asks you to put it in her hands, and after a few moments her answer comes to you.
“There's not a single trace of magic in here.”
You should've known, but you still felt quite disappointed. What was that back in the shop then? Delusion?
“Oh… I see, well good thing you're here, I might've gone up there only for nothing.” You can only laugh softly at her.
“Well, my professor's lab is there, so even if the mirror turns out to be a fake, you can still ask him about your theories regarding the portal. Don't worry, he won't think it's weird!”
“Also…” The cheerful voice suddenly turns into a whisper, “If you're planning to sell this thing, it might not be worth much.”
“Oh, uhm, I’m not going to sell it… but why wouldn't it be worth much?” You looked at her slowly.
“The mirror is tampered, or probably recently restored, the glass is new. It's not entirely an antique if there's new parts right?”
★
[Broken, bloody pieces of what used to be a fair hand mirror lie messily on the carpeted floors. The golden eyes staring at it only blinks.
The eyes move back onto the table, the metal that used to carry the glass is facing him. The man’s bloody hand, one where some shards are still buried in its skin, carefully caresses the embossed suns.
He then picks up a round piece of mirror, the crafting skills he picked up from his adventures made it so that the foreign piece would fit perfectly in the hollow space the old one left.
If not for keen eyes, it would've looked like it belongs there just fine.]
★
You just woke up, but you feel like going back into the darkness of your sleep.
And stay there for a long, long time.
Because in front of you is a maid. She's an ordinary maid, if not for the blue and gold envelope in your hands.
“His highness Phainon wishes to formally meet you in his estate. Today. Should I prepare your bath and clothes while you eat breakfast?” There's a hint of a smile on her face.
But not yours.
Because you think that this might've been your end. The words his highness sting you. Ah yes, the royalty and their titles, what could go wrong.
But the envelope is already there. For a split second, the idea of just chucking it down the fireplace and running to the countryside like those villainesses sounded good in your head, but you soon came to realize that declining a royal might just pose more misunderstandings.
Let's just hope he lives up to his novel persona and I'll be able to plead with him.
★
You're kind of disappointed in yourself.
For someone who's a ‘self-proclaimed The Era Nova specialist,’ you judged Phainon way too quickly.
It feels more awful seeing his closed-eye smile directed at you.
No, he didn't execute you or put you under some royal decree. What he did do is literally thank you for buying him flowers that night and served you the most fragrant (and probably expensive) tea you've ever had.
“Sorry for the sudden invite, I was just excited to finally have a friend here.”
“Ah… yes, of course, I'm happy to have met you too, your highness-” This time you made sure to not forget, but he only frowned at this.
“So formal now, aren't we?” He looks at you with what seems to be puppy-dog eyes and your heart flips.
“Did I… have I offended you that night? I'm sorry-”
“Oh no! No you didn't, I don't care much about titles like that anyway… plus even if I do, it's not your fault, you're not used to it, right?” He quickly exclaims, trying his best to prove your thoughts about that night wrong.
Used to it?
“Anyways, please don't think of this meeting as anything else aside from a simple chat with a friend.” He smiles again, “Oh, the biscuits ran out, let me fetch some more, if you excuse me.”
He saunters to the door, leaving you alone in his office. You suddenly feel smaller when you realize where you are. Is it really okay for him to bring a stranger to such a place?
He even personally fetched snacks for you, as in the novel, he's used to doing things on his own. It's because he grew up to do so, because he's raised to be alone.
But he never brought that up against anyone, instead he just considers it as a way of showing sincerity to those around him, personally attending to them and being ‘a friend’. These things about him make him such a warm character. You feel the worst for being distant to him.
You should've known that he probably never had anyone listen to his long-winded explanations about his antiques or just have a simple chat that doesn't involve royal politics. He's always been described in the novel as a free-spirited and cordial fellow after all.
But hopefully, he doesn't blame you for putting up walls. He was at the center of all in this novel, all the good and the bad. You just wanted to enjoy your stay here and go back home. You cannot risk being tied to him.
All these thoughts had you fiddling your necklace that's made with a rare pearl only found in the deepest parts of the sea. The thing is incredibly expensive. So when the pearl suddenly detaches from the chain, you pray Phainon takes longer and crawled to the floor to retrieve it.
You think you've hit an all-time high stress level when you feel a sharp pain in your palm. As you're skittering around the sofa, you manage to feel the pearl underneath it, what you didn't notice is the shard of glass sitting beside it.
It was too late when you felt it after unknowingly pressing down on it to catch the pearl. You sat back down on the sofa, carefully dropping it to your purse.
You held onto the glass shard though. The piece emanates a strange sheen to it, as if it's glowing.
Suddenly, the mirror flickers, a bright light reflects on it for a few seconds before disappearing.
No way… are all the mirrors in this world weird?
“Hey I'm back…?” You turned your head towards Phainon, who's carrying a plate of various biscuits and sweets. You hurriedly shove the shard in your purse too.
Phainon's stare darkens and you gulp. Shit did he see me crawling around in his office right after he trusted me to be left alone?
“Wait, so-”
“Your hand is bleeding, what happened?” Phainon quickly ran towards you. He set down the plate and pulled a snow-white handkerchief from his pockets. He gently wiped the blood which you hadn't noticed, had trickled to your fingers. He also patted closer to the wound, which made you wince.
“Wait, my pendant fell and I went to retrieve it, but I must've pressed my hand on a sharp edge… thank you for wiping it, I didn't notice the blood.” You alter the story a bit, not wanting to alert him about you taking something from his home, even if it's a mere mirror shard.
“I see… there's a washroom down the hallway, let me bring you there.” He stops dabbing at the wound, he then helps you up, the worried look on his face now lightened.
★
If you hadn't known, you would've thought that Phainon's estate is the Palace itself.
What's supposed to be a simple walk into the washroom turned into sightseeing for you. The hallways are magnificent, something you thought you'd only see in movies. The interior of the entire place is entangled in gold. There's also sculptures and antiques, which you're guessing are a part of Phainon's collection.
The washroom is covered in dark blue, which makes the marble of the sink stand out. As you dip your hand into the basin, you unconsciously looked into the mirror and met with Phainon's stare.
“Your estate is magnificent, your hi- ah, Phainon.” You mentioned, trying to stave off the awkwardness of him staring like a hawk while you clean your wound.
“Hmm, family passed it down to me, gift from the emperor.” Phainon continues. His body leans to the doorway, eyes still in your hands.
“I see… Do you live alone? Sorry if it seems prying, but I haven't seen another soul ever since I got here.”
He lives alone. You think. In the novel, while Phainon is presented to be this outgoing boy, he actually leads a secluded life. He chose to live alone in an estate to distance himself from the palace. But it would be weird if you acted like you knew.
“No, it's not prying, and yeah, I live alone, quite lonely if you ask me.” He walked towards you when you finished, grabbing your hands and gently drying it with a wash towel. He then wraps your palm in thin gauze, the actions making your cheeks heat up.
“Apologies if it seems sloppy, I haven't really done this to anyone aside from myself.” He murmurs.
“No, no, it's fine! Thanks a lot, Phainon.”
The two of you walk back to his office, there's still biscuits to finish and stories to tell, after all.
★
[For all he could remember, he's always been alone.
A child born from a loveless marriage, only brought to this world to fight for a piece of embellished metal. There was a time when he had friends and such, but it's a time long gone as what's only left now is a hollow manor he calls his home.
It's a lonely gift, devoid of anyone who cares. It's a cage in a sense that what's only keeping him here is the promise of a crown. If he could, he would've left in a heartbeat, but all he ever built up will be left in waste too.
So you cannot blame his anguish when he found out that his hardships were only written for entertaining an otherworldly audience. That one fateful evening where his magic uncovered the reality of his sad, lonely world.
But there was someone.
Who kept flipping the pages of his story, the one who laughed when he did, cries when he does. Curiosity led to observation, and suddenly, he didn't seem too alone.
He kept track of you in the reflection of waters, in dreams, in mirrors. Sometimes your words would be heard in his head, sometimes you're like an apparition in his walls.
But all that's important to him is that you're his devoted reader. A dedicated audience to this woeful farce.
He saw the ending, the bloodshed in the throne room, the crown and the new reign. He laughs, because it was framed as a victory, it's ironic — because all the nights he wished he was just born an ordinary boy ultimately ends up with him being farther away from it.
He’s not going to stray away from it though, he doesn't think he can, he's too deep to ever go back up. But he's still a lonely man, so when his magic finally transcends barriers, he couldn't help but ask you a question.
“Are you willing to do that for me?”
Your agreement is all that mattered, as he's hurriedly scribbling in the tattered book he found somewhere. The book lists itself as ‘The Era Nova’, but Phainon did not care about what anomaly made him aware of the universe’s truth, all he could care about is your new identity written in frantic scribbles.
Your soul feels nice. It's the only thing he could come up with when you came to him. It's like you truly loved him.
It's dark in his office. He couldn't believe a few hours ago you sat within the same room. He thanks the assassin sprawled out dead in the dungeons of this estate, his foolish plots gave him a reason to bring you here.
And a reason for you to save him, to show him you truly care for him. The handkerchief in his nose smells of faint iron. He could only apologize in his head for leaving you to hurt.
But he hopes you'd understand a desperate man’s attempt of making his predetermined ending feel better.]
★
You made it this time.
This time, you didn't whine about the academy's preference of stairs, instead you ran as fast as you could to a laboratory, in hand a broken piece of mirror. Your mind being more focused on the questions that lingered after your discovery at Phainon’s estate probably helped in obscuring the effects of running up at around five floors (to your estimation, at least).
When you reached the metal doors of the lab, you didn’t even knock, you only barged in, meeting the gazes of the pink-haired scholar who helped you last time and her so-called professor who’s sporting a peculiar eyepatch. The man did not seem to mind though, as he only sighed and mouthed a ‘told ya’ to his student. The said student only awkwardly smiled and ushered you further inside the room.
“When my dear student told me about your small predicament last time, it honestly piqued my interest. I had always heard of theories about portals and such, but this is my first time actually hearing about it as an experience rather than a hypothesis. Well then, I presume what’s in your hand is the experiment sample then?” The professor with the dead stare did not even spare that to you, his eyes are only trained towards the shard that’s nearly piercing through your skin.
“Don’t mind his bluntness, my teacher is a reliable scholar first and foremost, you can entrust him with studying about this seriously, especially since he’s very interested in it. I will also be sharing the progress transparently, so don’t worry. Now, if you don’t mind, you can loosen up your grip on that broken glass, it might pierce you…again.” The scholar’s eyes trail on your bandaged hand, her gentle words made you drop the mirror into the table, your fingers pushing it towards the professor.
“If my deductions are on the right track, alchemy might be able to replicate this kind of glass. If you would give me time to construct, I’ll be sure to leave your name into the papers I will produce about this. Hehe, imagine the looks on those fools’ faces once they realize that I am, once again, correct.” He muttered, attention now more focused on assessing the shard rather than in your conversation, with that in mind, you relent from asking further questions and just trusting their words.
“If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know. Thank you for this new knowledge, kind lady.” The pink-haired scholar assures you, escorting you out of the room, it’s probably because her mentor’s starting to open five cabinets at once now. Yeah, I’ll leave that guy alone too.
“If all of these end up right and the mirror or whatever portal is made, please give me a chance to use it.”
“Of course! I thought I’ll have to drag some poor scholar down or myself in that but it’s nice to know that someone is willing to play guinea pig in this experiment.” A voice from the inside suddenly rings out.
The two of you outside the door chuckled at that.
★
Just like in the real world, learning facilities at nighttime are eerily quiet and give off a strange chill the longer you stay.
The leaves surrounding the grove are rustling along the wind’s howls. You’re starting to regret your decision of not waiting until tomorrow morning to visit. You couldn’t blame yourself though, it was the closest lead you had to going back home, but running here at nightfall wasn’t the brightest idea you had for the day.
All the scholars are probably within their dormitories now or have already gone home. The likes of that professor are stuck within the highest floors that contain their laboratories.
If anything were to happen, nobody will be fast enough to get you out.
What the hell? Shut up. You reprimanded your unnecessary thoughts. In fact, you need to tackle a few questions that are plaguing your mind first.
Why did Phainon have this kind of item, a broken one at that, just littered on his floors. Wasn’t he a bit fussy of his collection in the novel? Why wouldn’t he notice if one of them is broken?
More popped up in your mind, unfortunately, it’s all questions and no answers.
If I’m correct, this glass belongs to that mirror he gifted me. But it’s intact, is this from another item? Another magic portal item or something?
Then, the scholar’s words rang loud and clear; “It's tampered.”
Did Phainon…break the mirror? Did he restore it because he was too embarrassed? Or was he someone who doesn't mind alterations on his antiques?
A stupid sounding thought broke out at the back of your mind.
Did he break it because he knew something was up?
Suddenly, a breeze passes by your shoulders. At first. At first it was only a breeze, but when you looked to your side, you suddenly felt something on the other. A fabric, just brushing close enough to feel in your skin but light enough to make you question if it's real.
But now you're sure it's real, because a few moments you hear pieces of metal clanging. You looked in front of you, and just like those apparitions in horror movies, there's a figure at the end of the dimly lit hallway.
A tall figure, donned in a black cloak and armored in swirling metal plates. A mask sits inside its hood. Its fingers covered in plated claws and its chest appear to be hollow.
He looks familiar.
You stop in your tracks, senses on high-alert. He's probably the one who brushed past you and if that's correct, then he's extremely fast. No use in outrunning him then, better just keep an eye out on his movements or sources of help.
The figure also stops and stares at you. Your stand-off lasted for a short while until it tilted its head,
And waved.
At least that's what you think it did before it suddenly vanished before your eyes, nowhere to be seen or felt again.
★
Phainon has developed a habit of sending you random letters and various trinkets he got from his travels.
He also loves to initiate meetings and tea times with you. At first, you're happy to attend each and every one of them, but as time goes on, you start to question his fondness for inviting you at least every other day.
Not that you doubt him, at least not too much — you knew his tendencies to latch on to things due to his upbringing, but you can't help but question his true motives when he just invades your personal time as if you're not an acquaintance he just met recently.
You learned to decline his invitations. You really liked his character, but you're unsure of whether you can handle being involved with him as a person. He's on his way to becoming the ruler of this vast kingdom and you're supposed to be on your way home, so not much should happen.
The invitations thinned out, albeit gradually. He still sends a lot of trinkets — such as small woodworks of cute animals and magic lamps, which are now starting to pile up on your work desk, but the letters and requests to meet do not overflow from the holder anymore. He appears to have gotten the message.
You want to go home. Sure, you loved this place and the magic it has, but the gnawing anxiety of the life you left back there is haunting your days here. If you're going to get yourself thrown into another world, you want to at least make amends in your previous one.
Speaking of going home, you're currently staring at a letter. The pale green envelope stares back, proudly displaying the logo of the academy on its seal. You take a deep breath and brace yourself for whatever the results will show.
Greetings, My Lady
I’m pleased to inform you that I was able to recreate the material you brought here last time. It was truly a magnificent experience…
The light in your eyes sparkled. I can finally go home. Your cheeks hurt grinning. You looked up to your ceiling, mentally saying farewells to the place that took you into this world.
You continue reading.
“...but unfortunately, a huge accident happened within the academy. A cloaked assailant sneaked within the grove and hurt a few scholars, aside from that, it seemed to be targeting this specific experiment. I saw with my own eyes how it shattered the mirror, almost pulverizing it. I was able to retrieve a few samples and escape but I am not sure if I'll be able to recreate it as fast…”
Now, this is why they say never celebrate too early. Disappointment eats you up, causing you to just chuck the letter away. Not time for farewells yet, you suppose.
But one thing caught your attention. Cloaked figure. That night, you also saw a figure with a similar description.
Black…cloak?
Phainon.
Many scenes of the novel involve Phainon disguising himself in a black cloak. When he assassinated the other royalty in that throne room, he was wearing a black cloak.
“Shit, why didn't I remember that sooner?” You uttered, almost inaudibly. You've been focused on going the past few days that you have forgotten the details of the novel.
Phainon might just be the reason you're failing your attempts at returning home, and you just let yourself be too involved with him.
★
Lately, instead of you, only letters of your declines have been reaching his doors.
Phainon is growing frustrated at the replies he received. Just as when he thought the two of you were getting closer, you just had to start distancing yourself.
Did you find out something?
He laughs sardonically, his hands covering his right eye that's now turning golden due to the sudden influx of magic. He looks down at his table, the paper now ruined, too much ink seeped into it. Of course you denied it again, and somehow managed to send it to him as he's writing another invite.
He can feel it, your soul wavering. When he first brought you here, all he felt was pure amazement and curiosity from you, but now he can feel doubts and fatigue too.
“Can't you… just- ah.” He slumps his head, turning towards the small figurine he carved earlier. It's a figure of two lovebirds, perched on a small throne while nuzzling each other. Both of them were wearing a tiny crown on their heads.
Really, he tried carving your likeness more times than he'd like to admit, but there's something about you that makes it so hard for him to be satisfied with just carvings. Whatever he makes doesn't live up to his image of you in his head — feels fake, feels cold. So he just opts to present your likeness as animals and things he's fond of.
Nowadays, Phainon has been fantasizing about you joining him on his journey.
So when he felt your soul trying to break free from this world, he couldn't help but silently beg you to stay and not leave him to be alone in this world again.
★
Please, be my partner. There is an upcoming ball to the palace, you're the only one I can trust.
You never expected such a heavy statement coming from him, especially not after you just tried to keep him at an arm's length. You've even reached a point of telling him off. There was stirring conflict within you, Phainon clearly appears to be invested in your friendship, but at the same time, you're uncertain of what kind of plot he'll bring into your already bizarre situation.
However, if you keep declining him time and time again, it'll appear unusual. The two of you started on good terms, suddenly abandoning him could be seen as rude and might just make him ask more questions.
And frankly, you're running out of believable reasons for declining him.
So you push yourself up and ask the maids for help. You'll humor him this time, maybe even get to ask him why he's so dead set on sticking close to you.
★
The carriage ride to the palace is a peaceful little thing.
You looked out to the town square, the awe of being in another still hints at you, but you've gotten used to the sights by now. All your attempts at steering away from the plot ironically ended up with you driving right through the center of it.
Everything with the palace screams imposing, it's a marvelous place, but it does a good job of making you feel small. Luckily, not a lot of guards are stationed to stare down at your minute existence. But the few ones who were are staring at you oddly.
You went through normal procedures and you're escorted to the grand doors. It's closed.
On your way here, there have been a multitude of red flags raising left and right. Firstly, it's quiet, not a single peep, not befitting of such a proud place. And for all the palace’s vanity, there's no other visitors of the same caliber, in fact there's no other visitors at all.
There was no ball.
That's your final observation. You don't know what you did so, so wrong in your stay here, but Phainon has reached a new point where he straight up lies to get your attention now.
What was so important about meeting you? When all he talks about when the two of you have your little tea parties are idle topics not worth making a palace this grand deserted.
The guards opened the door, and you're right, it's absolutely empty. There's supposed to be an option to go back, but the men outside had conveniently closed it off before you could say anything.
He really, really wants to talk, huh?
You march down deeper into the building, hoping that guesswork and acquired knowledge from the novel could bring you towards the prince’s quarters.
But before you could even reach the third set of winding hallways, you heard a loud scream coming from the central part of the floor. You froze, cold sweat forming in your temples. No, it couldn't be today right? Your heart pounds loudly, you can feel the beating in your ears.
Too early, it's years too early.
Phainon ascending to the throne couldn't be today, hell, it couldn't be this year. Because he's not yet prepared. He bought support from various kingdoms before the ascension, it's an integral part of the novel’s worldbuilding. From what you've heard from him, he only traveled within Okhema the past months.
So it shouldn't be today right?
One scream, two screams. Screams interrupted your silent denial of what's happening. There's too many, and it just got louder after the sound of a door being thrown open boomed.
I need to get out.
You tried navigating the hallways, hunching down when the screams got louder. It died down soon though, and you managed to find yourself in an open area that looked similar to the lobby you went in from.
It's not the same lobby though.
“Going to decline my invitation again?” A voice suddenly emerges from behind. You turn towards it and you see Phainon, holding a bloody greatsword and wearing an uncanny grin on his face.
Oh his face. It's a shame that his beautiful face is so fucking bloody right now. It's dripping, some clinging to his white hair. And his white regalia — might as well be red, with how drenched it is in blood.
The scarier part is that none of it is probably his blood. He's unscathed against this many royals, they didn't stand a single chance.
So not a chance you would. He makes way towards you, you can only step back mere centimeters before finally freezing up. He stops when he's close to your form, the smell of iron almost suffocating you.
He leans down, “You're going to leave me again, aren't you?”
“What…?”
“The people you're so afraid of ruining your life, these stupid royals, I killed them all, so you don't have to be afraid.”
“How did you… fuck, you're insane-” Your words are caught in your throat when Phainon suddenly grabs you and carries you in his shoulders. You tried hitting his back, but he only holds your waist tighter and snicker at your feeble attempts of breaking free.
He walks past the dead bodies of what used to be royals. You remember the scene from the novel, the fallen figures. You only tear up, your hands fall limp, refusing to hold onto Phainon's damp attire, lest you want to squeeze out royal blood from it.
“All of these blood flowing out of them and converging into one, this might just be the purest form of the royal blood they keep prattling about!” He suddenly mentions in passing, you feel his shoulders shake from laughter.
You shuddered.
You reach the throne room, which aside from the throne, just contains multiple portraits and statues. And the bodies of the people behind those, probably.
He settles you down the grandiose throne. It feels foreign, the velvet clings to your skin, while the metal feels too cold for comfort. He kneels down, arms clamped to your waist as he leans his head down on your thighs.
“Phainon.”
“Can you say my name again?” He looks up, putting his palm on your thigh and setting his chin on top of it, his manic, golden eyes just laser-focused on yours. The color just pops out more in contrast to the red around it.
“Why are you doing this?” You didn't entertain his request, which put a slight pout on his face. He removes his head on your thighs and lifts you up again, earning a yelp from you. He then settles down to the throne and places you on his lap, his arms locking you close to his chest.
“You said, that if I needed a princess by my side, you'd be willing to take that place,” Phainon whispers, now putting his chin up on your shoulders, his head slightly leaning towards yours.
Your eyes widened, “All this time, you're aware-”
“I am. What I didn't expect was you finding those anomalous portals fast, I tried breaking them all but they kept reappearing.” He sighs, sulking a bit.
That's why. That's why he seems so relaxed about you forgetting his titles, that's why he treats you as if you're not used to the customs of Okhema, your supposed birthplace.
Because it's him that plunged you right into this world.
“What I also didn't expect is that after all your declarations that you love me and that I am your favorite, the first thing you do is to try and leave me.” He continues.
Phainon made it a point to bring you entirely here, and not just stuff your soul on some poor extra. He altered the story not for himself, but to drag you along with him into this world.
“I am not from here, Phainon, and that was clear as day to you. I have a life back there! And the love I had for you, it's because you're a character I loved reading about-”
“What I had for you was real!” Phainon suddenly exclaims, he flips your positions, hands on your shoulders as he pushes your form to the throne’s backrest. “I've always observed you, you always appear to me when I feel so down. I've known you longer than you think!”
You're speechless. He can see you? All this time.
“You love me, don't you? So why leave?” Phainon leans his forehead on your shoulders. He's now straddling you, which makes it harder to move and the smell of blood more nauseating.
He lifts his head up, bringing his face close in front of yours, “Well it's not like you can, because yeah, it was me. All of it was me. The hand mirror? I broke it. The scholars, I just gave them a little scare. I did it all, for you… so you can't leave, not after you said you love me.”
“I don't-” He interrupts you.
“I will kill you.”
If there's still anxiety and fear left pent up within, it finally spilled out now. Your breath hitched at his statement, your entire body tensing up.
“My power grew to the point where I found out some… things. Did you know that if you leave your other body for too long, it'll cease to- hm, operate?” Phainon caresses your face before continuing, “If your body died there, then you'll have nothing to return to right?”
“I'm not going to kill you here, I’m killing you there, so that you'll be able to live here.”
“You're sick… You're the fucking worst, what did I ever do to you.” You broke down. Phainon responded by cradling your form and running his fingers in your hair.
“Nothing, you don't have to do anything. It's because I love you. Ah! I almost forgot,” He suddenly reaches out under his vest. He pulls out a blue velvet box and hands it to you.
His stare is expectant, so you opened the box, inside was a wooden figurine of two birds, perched on a throne that looks like the one the two of you are sitting in. You hate it. Not because it's badly made, no, actually the opposite — it's such a chillingly accurate representation of the scene you're currently in right now.
You hate what it's insinuating, you'd love to deny it, but underneath the figurine is a ring, a silver band, with a blue and yellow gem opposite of one another. The blue gem is enclosed in a moon, while the yellow one is within a sun.
Stop denying it, it's no use.
“I learned it from a jeweler who’s been working here since I was a child,” Phainon loosens his hold. He gently puts the ring on your finger. On his own is an identical one.
And as if noticing that something is missing when compared to the bird figurine, Phainon leans down and plucks something off of the floor on the throne's side. He grips the armrests as he does, caging you in, but his lowered form gives you a clearer picture of the bloodbath in the room. Gold and blues all intermingled with red.
Phainon straightens his posture again, in his hand are crowns. Two crowns.
You feel cold metal on the top of your head, in front of you Phainon also puts a crown on his. He smiles at you, so sweetly, before leaning down and sealing your fate with a passionate kiss.
That fateful day, the two of you are crowned Emperor and Empress of the kingdom.
Phainon had ascended the throne, this time, he isn't alone.
[The end.]
[seraph's note]: AWOOOOOOGH PHAINON. i am utterly devastated with 3.4 but at least brought the peak gameplay and character of my GOAT phainon. i've been enjoying on bringing him to just about any available content in-game lol.
this took waaaaaay longer than it should, i was supposed to upload it on the day i got him but i got writer's block lol. if it wasn't obvious, this is heavily based off of those isekai manhwas (that i will always eat up despite having almost the same plot everytime). the delay hopefully paid off as i channeled my inner yap god to this 11k word piece lmao. thx for reading if you managed to get to the end, love you for that, mwah.
want more? check out the [database.] for other content!
Pics or it Didn't Happen: Glow-Up Edition [Phainon x f!reader]
Summary: The story of how Phainon from age 16-21 started crushing on you via Cyrene's ugly photo wall. CREDIT TO @tsubaki3192 who gave me this idea in my comments!
A/N: Uhhhh so this is actually a prequel to Part 1 and Part 2, pre-shirtless carwash (more of a "coming full circle" type of fic)
Warnings: uh-oh there's a tad bit of angst (insecurities, our poor baby is just nervous around pretty girls) but you know how this ends 🙂, Cyrene bullying Phainon, slight Mydei slander, dialogue heavy (already shortened it but it’s still 8K words, yikes)
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Phainon (Age: 16)
"Do you like video games?"
Phainon, who is now sixteen years old, is currently rethinking who he should be friends with, because his friend since childhood, Cyrene has been making him cut out embarrassing photos she printed out of himself. It was a new humiliation ritual at this point. Clearly Cyrene could care less, handing Phainon the scissors without even sparing him a glance.
"Hm? Why do you ask?" Cyrene starts cutting up some other photos.
Cyrene was uncharacteristically hard working right now, as she recently started an ugly photo board with embarrassing pictures of her friends. Double chins, mid-sneezes, 0.5s- this was just the beginning. For the memories, would be her excuse.
"Well they're trendy, you know? Everyone likes playing video games." Phainon explains, though Cyrene doesn't think his rambling is making much sense. "Or coins? Do you like collecting coins?"
"What is it Phainon? Just spit it out." Cyrene stops cutting her print outs and interrupts him. She could sense in the light exaggeration in his voice that he was hinting at something else- not video games or coin collecting.
"I was just wondering... maybe you could find some normal hobbies? Not... this- ow!" Phainon softly explains and Cyrene smacks his arm. He winces at his best friend's sudden violence, watching as she huffs then immediately going back to cutting the photos.
"Photography is a hobby, Phainon." Cyrene says sarcastically. Phainon gives a deadpan expression, knowing that that obviously wasn't what he meant. "It keeps people humble. Like you. Now cut those for me."
Phainon was about to argue again, but clicks his tongue. It was almost ironic how Cyrene was right, so he keeps quiet. His photos on the her wall made up quite a big fraction of it- he was her longtime friend after all. To him, his embarrassing pictures weren't too bad. Yeah, some made him look like an unknown entity from Mars, but there was a part of him that found it fun. He enjoyed collecting "memories" with Cyrene. And besides, it's not like he had anyone to impress-
"Who is that...?"
Phainon's soft question tumbles out of his mouth before his brain could take a moment to process it. Cyrene looks up at him, trailing his line of sight to a photo... of you.
"Hm? Oh, that's (Y/n)." Cyrene says, casually taking the picture off and shoving it in his face. What she didn't know was that a close up was making him teeter off having a nosebleed or not.
It was a photo she had taken of you recently. It depicted you clawing mindlessly at your sleeping bag with your eyes barely open- definitely when you just woken up. Your left eye was squinting more than the right, your lips curled in a pouty way that said "I do not get paid enough for this". And to top it off... your glorious bed head. It was a simple one, just as embarrassing as anyone else's photo on her wall. But not to sixteen year old Phainon.
"Is that... your friend?" Phainon asks carefully, and he thinks it's pathetic how he can barely form sentences. Cyrene tilts her head curiously at him.
"We volunteered at a summer camp together a couple months ago. That's what happens when you can't get a bunch of ten year olds to stop talking about brainrot at two in the morning." Cyrene giggles, recalling their shared experience in attempting to wrangle children (and failing). But Phainon was busy daydreaming, because to him, you were a goddess... a bed head goddess.
“Does she go to our school…?”
“No, different one.” Cyrene replies, and Phainon breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t know if he could handle knowing there was a pretty girl at his school and not know all this time. Cyrene stops taping as she notices her friend staring off into space. She senses something suspicious, so she asks him, "Why do you want to know?"
"No reason..." Phainon quickly snaps from his daydream. But Cyrene catches it- he's blushing. For god sakes. This makes her instantly launch up and deliver a series of punches to his side.
"Phainon! Are you serious? How could you- you're so gross! Crushing on my friend?!" Cyrene's battle cries barely make sense, but Phainon blushes even more at being caught immediately by her.
"Hey- Ow, ow!!" He hunches over, trying to lessen the impact of her blows.
"Oh my god, I can't believe you fell in love with her photo." Cyrene stops hitting him and topples backwards dramatically.
"N-No I didn't." He tries to deny Cyrene's accusation, but his voice cracks halfway through, betraying him.
"I saw you blushing- actually you’re still blushing." Cyrene points out, not missing a beat. Phainon sports a small pout, still with a pink tint on his cheeks.
"...She's cute." Phainon admits shyly under his breath. "Okay- she's really cute."
"She would cook you alive." Cyrene enunciates as if she was Gordon Ramsay, and he was an irresponsible restaurant owner. Instead, Phainon's eyes widen curiously.
Cyrene's not wrong though. When she met you, she immediately hit it off with you, both laughing and keeping your conversations flowing despite the chaotic children. However, Cyrene learned that you were not one to be played with. It wasn’t just because you had to be commanding at a summer camp, but because of the way you weren’t afraid to say no. Especially to incompetent boys. She remembers how one of the other high school volunteers tried “getting closer” to Castorice, and how your stink eye never stopped. He didn’t really do anything, but everyone knew that you thought the vibes were off. (They were)
The pink haired girl suddenly notices Phainon pathetically pouting like she denied him candies or something. Honestly, would (Y/n) fall for this mess?
“Hey, cheer up Phai. (Y/n) may not like idiots, but she never said no to idiots who wear yellow and purple.” Cyrene says jokingly and Phainon scoffs.
The duo goes back into their natural rhythm of bantering and casually talking about whatever. But at the corner of her eye, Cyrene could see Phainon staring hard at the photos- though not really looking at them, more like he was spacing out. His lips were pursed into a tight line, and the young girl wonders if he was actually serious.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 17)
“You know, I think I deserve some compensation for helping you.” Phainon groans, one year later. The white haired boy was starting to grow taller, much to Cyrene’s dismay. What’s not to her dismay is how his voice keeps accidentally cracking as it slowly transforms into a deeper one.
“Oh stop whining. This is for a good cause.” Cyrene counters, waving him off while looking at her printed photos again. This time she was busy curating her board better, organizing them by year as she spreads the cut-outs on the floor like cards.
"You say that like I'm donating to a non-profit." Phainon frowns, reluctantly cutting the papers with scissors. He reaches out to grab another photo sheet- only for his breath to catch in his throat.
Oh no, no no no...
It’s you again.
(Y/n).
On a whole photo sheet, depicted many photos of you with questionable expressions. One with you mid-yawn, another when you seemed to accidentally spit water out from laughing too much, and one where you were wrapped up in a blanket like a cocoon. Cyrene had a new stash already?
Phainon’s breath hitches. He thought he had forgotten about you- key word, thought. He too, sworn this was a silly baby crush that would go away within a week or so. But somehow, seeing your photos a year later, just reignited something within him all over again.
"...Pretty." He blurts out.
"Excuse me?" Cyrene's head snaps up, making the scissors in his hand nearly slip out. He froze- shit. He wasn't supposed to say that out loud.
"I- I said your cuts are pretty even." He stammers.
"You liar," Cyrene immediately calls him out. "Are you still hung up on her?"
“I didn’t know you were still hanging out together…” Phainon says, trying to divert the subject quickly while his palms get sweaty. Translation: I didn’t know Cyrene would pull up with more pictures. Also you’ve gotten prettier.
“We’ve gotten really close. Me, her and Cas. We hung out a few times over the breaks.” She explains. But then she sees Phainon’s hand trembling as he holds the photo sheet and she sighs. “Got a problem?”
“No problems.” Phainon replies curtly. Cyrene purses her lips, pausing for a moment before speaking again.
“No problems, hm?” She repeats. Phainon nods, but not before swallowing hard, and completely loses his credibility when his face flushes pink. God, he was too easy, Cyrene thinks. But she doesn't say anything, feeling as if there was a change in her childhood friend.
Phainon was and always will be: an idiot, in her eyes. She's been friends with him since they started losing teeth, and has witnessed every embarrassing moment, every cringey phase, and every tell of his true emotions. Now in the romance department? Cyrene was a bit clueless, she won't lie. She can't recall if Phainon ever had a crush. They both grew up in the small town of Aedes Elysiae, not really having a lot of kids. At the same time, her and Phainon were likely too busy playing with cards to care.
If she had to put a label on Phainon now, she thinks the hopeless romantic type is likely the category he would fall under if he was seriously in love. However, she can't doesn't really think anything happened in high school either. Maybe a fleeting, "you're attractive, but not my type" kind of deal? But he never showed any signs. Until now.
"She's coming over for a sleepover this weekend~" Cyrene sing-songs out of the blue.
"She- what?" Phainon chokes on his saliva, his heart beating a million miles per minute. He almost curses at her for dumping this information on him so suddenly. You would be here, sleeping over.
"Mhm. We're having a sleepover here, (Y/n) and Cas and I. But it wouldn't hurt for you to drop by and say hi, you know?" Cyrene idly pins up a blurry picture of Castorice mid-sneeze, then looks at Phainon who's going pale.
"I- I have to walk my dog." Phainon says. A poor excuse.
"Walking your dog only takes fifteen minutes." Cyrene points out. She knows he's making stupid excuses, so she doesn't mention his obvious crush and tries framing this as a casual group hangout. "We don't mind, really. You can even invite your new friend. Mydei, right?"
"I don't think Mydei likes face masks." Phainon says. "It's okay, I'll just... stay in all weekend. And lock my doors."
"Pfft- seriously Phai?" Cyrene bursts out laughing, but Phainon scowls (he was dead serious). Here she was giving her best friend an opportunity without any pressure and he was busy complaining about whether Mydei likes doing face masks. "I think you're focusing on the wrong thing."
"It's just- she's still pretty... how is that even possible?" Phainon whispers, unsure whether to blush or crash out. He ends up doing both. Cyrene giggles, her hopeless romantic friend acting lovesick for you.
To tell the truth, he felt helpless. It was pathetic but he knew this wasn't a dumb little crush. He really liked you, and he couldn't do anything about it. He glances at your pictures and can’t help but feel like he couldn’t measure up. Wasn’t Cyrene's photo board supposed to be filled with ugly photos?
"You could talk to her.” Cyrene says as if it was obvious what he should do. Phainon nervously shakes his head and the girl sighs. “Well, if you want to come over, just text me. I promise we'll welcome you with open arms~"
"I'll... think about it." Phainon answers softly.
Cyrene gives a thumbs up, and tries not to look too excited. Did she spontaneously declare that they were having a sleepover this weekend before even asking you guys, just to try and get Phainon to get out and meet you?
Maybe. But clearly he needed an excuse. So as gracious as she is, Cyrene plans the sleepover, and hopes that Phainon doesn't chicken out.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 18)
Phainon did not come over that weekend, nor did he visit any other times Cyrene hung out with you. He really kept to his word, and stayed at home. Cyrene beat him up (in theory), wondering why he was acting so shy all of a sudden.
"-and then, after she told us how she roasted the guy, she stole my fries like it was nothing." Cyrene says in an exasperated tones.
Phainon listens to Cyrene updates about her group hang outs- this one that included you. You've been getting a lot closer to her and Castorice, he thinks. It's good- he likes seeing his friends enjoy themselves and making genuine connections. Now... as she talks, all he could think about was sharing fries with you. Would you steal them from him? Would you let him steal yours? The image was sinking warm and deep in his chest.
"You've been hanging out quite a lot recently. How is (Y/n) doing by the way?" Phainon asks, trying not to tremble as he said your name. Yeah, you still gave him butterflies, but he won't say it. Phainon smiles casually, but it drops once Cyrene rolls her eyes at him.
"You would know, if you came along with us. Phai, you're pathetic, you know that?" She says, not even letting him warm up with a normal conversation. But she thinks it's sweet that he's asking about you.
"Wow, thanks." He says with a fake smile, not even fighting back about being put to work for cutting Cyrene's photos this year. Speaking of, her photo board only got messier, resorting to using pins to hang multiple instead of tape. She’d probably need another board after this.
"I mean it. How many times have I asked you to come over or join us to hang out and you were busy hiding in your house like a hermit?"
"I said I'd think about it first." He sheepishly protests, but that's been his excuse for the past year. Cyrene rolls her eyes at him. Phainon takes a look at his own photos that have accumulated on the cork board and he starts to cringe. "(Y/n)'s not gonna see this right?"
"Phainon, she's been seeing this."
"Oh no." Phainon groans and drags a hand down his face. He does a deep inhale before speaking again, and Cyrene thinks about what a drama king he is. "She's never gonna take me seriously."
"Bold of you to assume she would take you seriously." Cyrene snaps back. Phainon lets out another long groan. “But don't worry, you've got time."
“Are you planning another sleepover soon?” Phainon’s heart still beats just as fast at the thought of meeting you at Cyrene’s house (and then staying home).
“Mm, maybe but not this time. You can’t hide from her forever. She’s going to the same university as us.”
Phainon’s face goes pale, then he suddenly sits up and shakes the pink-haired girl’s shoulders.
“I need that glow-up. Now.”
“Phai, what- are you serious?” Cyrene sputters and wriggles herself out of her dumb friend’s desperate grip. “You don’t need to change anything. You haven't even met her yet!”
But Phainon's expression remains serious. The feeling is a little different, he thinks. For years, he's laughed along with Cyrene at his embarrassing photos that have accumulated on her board. However, after seeing you looking like an angel from heaven, he suddenly feels like he needs to be better. He hasn't met you yet- yes that's true, but that means this photo board was your first impression of him. The tips of Phainon’s ears go pink. That’s almost exactly how he felt- especially knowing that he hasn’t stopped thinking about you ever since Cyrene started inviting you over more. Did you ever think about him? Maybe you did but the only one you could think about was the version of him with a yellow shirt and purple pants.
“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Cyrene exclaims. Phainon seems to come back to Earth, and Cyrene sighs. "Phainon, you don't need a glow up. You're already funny, smart, and stupidly loyal. You're my best friend, and I don't need you changing just because you think (Y/n)'s pretty or whatever. Well- maybe the pants you can change... but everything else!"
"You still referencing my purple pants era? Those were comfy, you know?" Phainon chuckles at the memory, then sighs thinking of Cyrene's heartfelt words. "I know reinventing myself won't make her like me. But every time you give me the chance to meet her I start getting nauseous. It's like doing a test while knowing you didn't study."
Cyrene's eyes widen at Phainon pouring his feelings out on the table, but at this moment she realizes for sure that he's serious. She listens intently.
"I didn't mean glow up as in how I look. I guess I just... I want to feel like I could stand in front of her one day and not feel like a dork." Phainon explains softly. Cyrene nods. She gets it now. He just wanted to believe in himself a little, because right now he felt like a nervous wreck.
"Hey- I understand." The girl says, putting her hand on his arm. "You just want to make a good impression. But I think you're already good the way you are, and I think (Y/n) would think so too. I mean, I did tell her about you on the photo wall."
"Oh god-"
"Shush, you didn't let me finish. She doesn't think you're a dork. Even when I pointed out your dreadful purple pants, she didn't think anything of it. She wants to meet you, Phai." Cyrene encourages, and Phainon's eyes light up like a kid on Christmas.
"Fine. I'll just- I still want to lock in a little bit." Phainon says, not even ashamed of the blush creeping on his cheeks. Cyrene giggles, an internal sigh of relief going off as her friend seems to have hope.
"Fine. You'll be the hottest dumbass she's ever seen." Cyrene says jokingly and Phainon rolls his eyes. He straightens up, then grabs his laptop nearby.
"Well- I guess I can take your advice on my clothes at least. I saw an intro to fashion course I could take as an elective." Phainon scrolls along the courses and squints at the course description.
"Phainon. I know I said your purple pants were atrocious but please don't spend hundred of dollars just for someone to tell you to wear jeans. Just let me go shopping with you." Cyrene sighs. He was still a dumbass. Hopefully you liked dumbasses.
"Oh- you're right." Phainon chuckles at himself. He feels more hopeful now, knowing that he's slowly improving himself to having more confidence in himself.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 19, university year 1)
Everyone was starting university now, and Phainon has gotten extremely tall over the year. Yeah, he's been growing but this time it was significant. Cyrene doesn't like this and decided to label him as a beanpole.
It's the middle of the first semester. He did end up going shopping with Cyrene beforehand to look for new clothes. Phainon adjusts the strap of his backpack as he makes the way to the library to join a couple of his friends to go over the reading together. Although, we all know that nobody ever gets work done when you're with your friends.
"Phainon... if you don't mind me asking, how are things with you and (Y/n)?" Castorice's soft voice shyly interrupts the silence, and Phainon almost chokes on nothing. He glances over at Cyrene who's got this guilty oops-I-may-have-accidentally-told-her look, but equally as surprised.
"Ca-Cas! Since when did you start asking spicy questions?" Cyrene sputters, also choking on nothing. It was quite rare to see their usually soft friend ask something so straightforward. Phainon buries his face in his hands, yet Castorice can still see a peek of him smiling, which tells her everything.
"O-Oh, I thought you said that he thought (Y/n) was cool..." Castorice says meekly, wondering if she hit a nerve. The other two almost laugh at how innocent her thought was.
"Yes Cas, he does think (Y/n) is 'cool' but all summer he's been busy texting me excuses."
"I-I'm not making excuses." Phainon protests, still with a faint blush. "I told you, I'll meet her when I meet her... I don't wanna look like a creep."
Castorice looks at Phainon in a kind of solemn yet heartfelt way. After noticing Phainon’s reaction and response, she thinks she understands what he meant.
"I think it's sweet, Phainon." The lavender-haired girl says with a genuine smile. "She's not scary. She's very kind, and easy to talk to."
Phainon's smile gets melty as Castorice tries to give him some encouragement. Castorice was not one to lie about her feelings, so he's glad he has some acknowledgement of his feelings (even if they show minimal effort due to nervousness). He almost starts daydreaming again about the thought of talking to you. But there's still a feeling of insecurity. The summer has passed, you probably have gotten prettier- he's seen it from the photos so he knew it was possible.
"Actually- that reminds me." Cyrene points at Castorice, interrupting Phainon's train of thoughts. "We were planning to go restaurant hopping around campus on Thursdays. It would be fun if you join us?"
"...With (Y/n)?"
"Yes, Phainon. With (Y/n)."
They were trying to include him in another outing. But a part of his brain still hesitates. He doesn't think he knows where to start even with Cyrene and Castorice beside him. What does he even say to you?
"I... I can't." He finally says with a sigh. Cyrene suspects something suspicious again, while Castorice looks at him with a bit of disappointment. He feels the disappointing gazes he gets, but he swallows as he prepares what he's about to say next. "I've been going to the gym with Mydei on Thursdays."
"Ugh, Phaiiii. Are you seriously ditching good food for Mydei?" Cyrene complains, though she doesn't mean to offend Mydei (mostly).
"I tried out for a couple of the school's sports teams the other week... but I felt really out of shape. I hadn't exercised much this summer." Phainon explains. This part was true.
"Well if you ever want to ditch Mydei and his pomegranate protein drinks, just text us, okay?" Cyrene says. Phainon notices the lack of scheming in her expression. It was almost as if there was a bit of desperation in her voice, and he can't help but almost feel pathetic for backing out again.
"Fine... I guess if I can, I'll skip leg day." Phainon says, breathing in. There was a slight lack of promise behind his words. Still, he sits back, wondering what it would've been like- sitting across from you on one of those Thursday nights.
"That's what I like to hear~" Cyrene smiles, giving him a thumbs up, and Castorice nods as well. "Maybe you can invite us to your games."
"That's only if I make it on the team." Phainon's cheeks almost go pink again at the thought of you coming to his games. Cheering for him, smiling at him, wearing his jersey- "I don't think it would be good to meet you guys all sweating and stinking after a game."
"Phai, you always stink." Cyrene says, sneering.
"Wow, thanks." Phainon replies, rolling his eyes. Cyrene laughs, relishing in Phainon's reactions to her jabs. The banter goes on, mostly with Cyrene bullying Phainon. As it starts to die down, Castorice taps Phainon’s hand and gives him another soft smile.
"I know you can do it, Phainon." She says.
A familiar warmth flushes through his body for a second. She was talking about his tryouts... he thinks. But a certain look in her eyes made him feel like she was telling him something else.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 20, university year 2)
By the time second year was in full swing, it was as if Phainon was fully transformed into a different being. His outfits no longer contained his purple pants, and continued listening to Cyrene's advice of keeping his style simple yet boyish. He did end up making the team by the way, and with his weekly gym session with Mydei, his figure has significantly gotten more athletic. He's taller, more confident, but in a way that was playful and warm- not cocky.
Of course, this confidence came with its own results- people naturally started gravitating towards him. Somewhere in the middle of the semester, he received his first love letter, which then turned into much more. People started lingering after class, hoping to say hi and get his number. Anyone who was in his group for a project was deemed incredibly lucky, as they already had an excuse to talk to him. At first, he didn't know how to handle this. He's never been approached like this before.
Whether it was out of nervousness or the sudden feeling of being wanted, he said yes.
He went on a few dates, smiling and laughing along politely with a person across from him. Someone cute, bubbly, clearly interested- and yet it always ended up making him hollow. He thought he was enjoying it, since smiling came easy for him, but it felt empty, like something was missing.
These dates usually didn't get him very far. Sometimes, it was the other person who would say something like, "You're nice Phainon, but I don't think we work." Other times, it was him who eventually got the courage to shamefully break it to them that he wasn't feeling it. Eventually, he realized halfway through that he was forcing it, like he was waiting for a spark that will never come.
He didn't feel too bitter, because he knew there was no point in continuing a relationship that didn't have both parties invested. Eventually these cycles accumulated to creating a restless ache in his chest that he didn't even notice.
During that year, he'd text Cyrene, and sometimes Mydei and Castorice, but everyone was also starting to get busy. With school work, practising with his sports team, and those dates, he felt a sense of dread- that he was drifting away from his loved ones. Even with Mydei who he used to see often, he can't remember the last time he talked to him. When was the last time he saw any of them? He's starting to be unable to recall.
One day, he collapses backwards on his bed, his hands covering his face. He still smelled of cologne from an earlier date that resulted with him nervously ending it. He felt something uncomfortable stir inside him, and decided he couldn't continue like this.
I think I need a break, he says to himself in his head.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 21, university year 3, mid-1st semester...)
"Hey."
On a rainy day, a voice suddenly calls out to Cyrene. Her shorter stature made it seem like her umbrella was covering her entirely, but Phainon could still recognize her.
"Phainon..." There's a bit of a startled shake in her tone as she raises her umbrella to finally see the familiar face she matched to the voice. He's taller, she notices, and he's bulked up. He looks at her with the same smile she's always known. However, there was something else- something sad beneath this mask he was putting on. As his best friend, she always knew when he was faking something. His smile was sheepish, barely holding on and seemed exhausted. "Do you... wanna come over?"
Phainon gives a silent nod, which almost makes her break down. They quickly turn and head on route to a path they knew best. Phainon walks into Cyrene's room, and for once he wishes he was there cutting away at her photo sheet. He also subtly notices that the board hasn't been updated since the end of high school. For the next few hours, they spend it updating each other on things that have happened in the past year and a bit. A few tears were even shed.
"...are we not gonna address the obvious?" Cyrene asks as she mindlessly stares into space while sitting and leaning on her bedside. She sniffles, having just ranted with Phainon of things that happened in the semester and upset her. Phainon lies on her floor looking up at the ceiling, in a similar condition, sniffling.
"What...?"
"Your boobs."
"My boobs?"
"Yes your boobs. They've gotten bigger. Like Mydei's." Cyrene says in a monotone way, but it makes Phainon chuckle with snot still in his nose. He misses this a lot, he thinks. The dull ache in his chest from his failed dates, the missed hangouts, and lonely walks back from practice were slowly starting to fade. Of course it would take time.
"I've been following his workout regimen, so I guess that explains that." Phainon says, enjoying Cyrene's teasing.
A pause. Cyrene glances down at her friend for a brief moment. She was partially making a joke to lighten the mood from their crying session, but she did think that. He does look different, but he's still the same Phainon who's been her friend since they were kids. He's gained a lot of muscle, his baby fat pretty much completely lost. His features were a lot sharper and defined. His smile was the same, which was good, she thinks, although seeming a bit tired.
"Anyway- I'm not done talking about that girl who dated you for 'aesthetics'." Cyrene pops back into their previous conversation. Phainon groans, but he feels he can laugh at it now. The more he talks with Cyrene about his past year, the more he wishes he could go back and at least find some time to talk to her. "Phai, you don't need to say yes to every person who asks you, you know? Especially not to some NPC who thinks she's the main character."
"Yeah, I know... I wish I could've caught on earlier on how performative she was." Phainon sighs as he remembers his list of failed dates. This performative influencer girl was one of them. He's surprised he still remembers what happened, but they all likely affected him a little deeper than he thought, he concludes. "I just- I thought that if I said kept saying yes, I'd feel like- I don't know... like I'd matter more. But nothing ever stuck, so I just waited for the next chance. …I'm sorry I didn't tell you.”
"Don't apologize. I'm your friend Phai." Cyrene says, looking down at him. He angles his head so that he can see her. The pink-haired girl sees his watery eyes, making her almost want to cry again.
"Anyway-" Phainon quickly rubs his eyes, removing any traces of his tears. "It's okay. Like I said, I stopped saying going on these useless dates for months now. Can we take a break from talking about my stupid relationship decisions? Tell me more of what you've been up to."
Cyrene smiles. Knowing her, she definitely wants to revisit this topic to complain with him. For now, she agrees that he could use a break.
"Nothing much... mostly stress from classes. A lot of group work disasters." Cyrene says mindlessly. To be honest, she's still thinking of how stressed he must have been, and by himself.
"Mm? What else? How are the girls?" He asks.
"Mm, well I still text Cas, but I feel like she's getting awfully busy. We talk but I haven't hung out with her in a while." Cyrene recounts a little sadly. "Then there's Hyacine- remember her? She's so sweet but sometimes she's too sweet. I heard she was helping other students struggling in Professor Anaxa's class."
"I heard about that." Phainon interjects briefly.
"Mhm, and then there's Cerydra whom I met last semester- but everyone knows she's got a temper of her own." Cyrene inhales, then faintly smiles before saying the next thing. "And then... there's (Y/n)."
Cyrene watches as Phainon's form on the ground stiffens. There's a moment of silence before they both burst out laughing.
"Don't start." Phainon says, covering his face in embarrassment. As their laughter dies down, he turns his head the other way, looking at Cyrene's board of ugly photos. He still remembers you- how you made him feel since he was sixteen. He looks at your photos, smiling without shame as he revels in the nostalgia. You've probably gotten even more beautiful by now.
"Mm, wasn't going to." Cyrene claims, though Phainon rolls his eyes, knowing his best friend too well. "We still talk, but mostly because we luckily have classes together. We've been stressing about our work together, and she's been sitting through my 3am rants about my dumb professors. I feel kinda bad at times for rambling, but she tells me she wants to hear it so she can complain with me."
"I'm glad you have her." Phainon says, with a sigh and closing his eyes. At least some people were finding silver linings. "She's probably dating someone now, isn't she?"
"Um, no actually." Cyrene corrects. Phainon's eyes open, looking at Cyrene's calculating yet concerned expression. His heart starts beating a little faster at the thought of you surprisingly being single. But he decides not to act on it from how depressed he currently was. "(Y/n)- she's so smart at avoiding problematic people, but it sure makes her life boring as hell."
"Doesn't sound boring..." Phainon grumbles, more about how he definitely preferred boring over heartbreak.
"Of course you'd say that."
"What."
"Kidding! I'm kidding. But seriously- she's way too strategic. No spontaneity, no whimsy. Maybe you should take a page out of her book, learn how to say no." Cyrene remarks, and Phainon deadpanned. She was right to some degree, though.
"I can't argue with you. I'm glad you have someone like her though." Phainon says with a genuine smile. Cyrene looks at him curiously, blinking at his sudden sincerity, and having a series of thoughts in her head.
"You have people too. You have me, Mydei, Castorice... You don't need to prove anything. We're all here for you, you know? We always have been."
"Right, thank you." Phainon blinks away the tears and feels a big weight lifted off his chest as he finally reconnects with his friend.
"And Phai?"
"Yes?"
"I don't care how many stupid decisions you make. Don't ever go that long without talking to me, or anyone else. Got it?" Cyrene points her finger at him, and Phainon's eyes widen, feeling scolded.
"Right- sorry, I mean- thanks, Cyrene." He stammers.
"Don't thank me, just remember."
Cyrene's looks at Phainon, thinking back and taking in his responses in relation to you. There's a thought that occurs in her head for a second. However, seeing the state she and him were in, she decides it's not the right moment to bring it up. She feels that they still have a lot to catch up on, a lot of memories they missed out on.
But she doesn't ignore the gears that start turning in her head. She just simply... holds them off for a better day.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 21, university year 3, three months later...)
"Ugh, Cyreneee..." Phainon whines, his large and lanky form draping over the restaurant table. Cyrene gives him an impassive stare, while Hyacine gasps, looking between her and this... soggy puppy.
"Is he usually like this...?" Hyacine asks, genuinely concerned.
Right now, Cyrene has taken Phainon, Mydei and Hyacine to a restaurant together to catch up. They were at a noodle place, one that she visited with you and Castorice early in first year when you guys went restaurant hopping. Mydei took responsibility for grabbing the orders once they were called. But nobody cares about the noodles anymore, especially not with somebody brooding like a drama king.
"I- yes." Cyrene almost rants, but stops herself and gives Hyacine the short answer.
"Hyacine-“ Phainon groans turning to the other girl, his bottom lip jutting out, smushed on his arm as he rests his head on it. “I'm so, so so lonely..."
For the past three months, Cyrene has been connecting back with Phainon like old times. They talked constantly, catching up and doing a little healing therapy by venting and hanging out more. Sounds good right? Wrong. Phainon felt much better since he's bottled up his feelings for the past year. But the dull ache in his chest was still there, because healing takes time, and now they were all coming out in the form of him complaining.
"Lonely? But Phainon- you have all of us here." Hyacine innocently remarks. "Me, Cyrene, and even Mydei!"
"What." Mydei blurts out gracefully as he walks back at the perfect time, bringing back two trays of noodles, then going back for the other two.
"Hyacine, it's not that type of lonely. It's the other type of lonely." Cyrene explains.
"Oh..."
"I know I've been taking a break, but guys- I think even Mydei is more likely to find love instead of me." Phainon comically whispers the last part and the girls blink at him.
"Woah- let's not get too crazy here." Cyrene says with her arms up defensively. Mydei comes back again and he quirks an eyebrow, making Cyrene suspiciously pretend like she didn't just throw shade at him. But he doesn't question anything. "Ahem- anyway... ignore him. He's been annoying, doing nothing but moping all day long."
"Are you really okay, Phainon?" Hyacine asks, still concerned even after Cyrene insults him. Phainon gives a soft chuckle, waving his hand as if telling her it's okay.
"I'm okay Hyacine. I was joking… kind of. I’m just... recalibrating. Last year I tried going on dates, but took it too fast. Nothing worked. So now-" Phainon stops for a moment, taking a bite of his noodles since he was quite hungry. "-now I'm taking a break. Figured I should learn to stop forcing myself just for a bit of affection that won't get reciprocated."
"Aw, well I'm happy for you, Phainon." Hyacine gleams cheerfully, glad that her friend was improving. The group all start on their meals, while catching up on life.
"Enough complaining Phai- you've been annoying me for weeks. What do you guys think of the noodles so far?" Cyrene asks, midway through finishing their food.
"It's really good! I've never been to a noodle place where you could choose your own toppings." Hyacine chimes in, while the boys nod along, agreeing with her. Her bowl was topped full of veggies, eating super healthy. Mydei on the other hand- also a health-nut though his was filled mostly with different meats.
"Well, this is the last restaurant recommendation." Cyrene declares, as a happy ending to their restaurant hopping journey. She's happy. Both because she's bringing her friends together again, and enjoying good food.
"I'm gonna miss going to these new restaurants with you guys." Phainon says, sighing. "I think this place makes my top three along with that diner ten minutes away. Oh- and that brunch cafe too."
"We can always go back to any of these places. Those were our favorites too." Cyrene points out.
Several minutes pass as the group continues finishing their noodles. Mydei wipes his mouth then suddenly turns to Phainon.
"Did you tell them about the fundraiser?" Mydei asks Phainon. It was soft almost like a secretive whisper that makes the girls tilt their head in confusion. Phainon almost spits out his noodles at his reminder of the fundraiser.
"Uh, no." Phainon swallows, then lowly whispers back. Both the boys are starting to blush in embarrassment, which blows their chance of hiding what was really happening. Mydei breathes in steadily, then nods to him, a signal to tell the girls. Phainon grimaces, then slowly pulls out his phone. He taps the screen a few times then cringes as he reluctantly pushes his device towards Cyrene and Hyacine.
The girls quickly skim over the post on the screen. Cyrene gasps with her mouth wide open, while Hyacine's eyes go wide.
"You're- You're doing a shirtless carwash?! Oh my god-" Cyrene dramatically leans back onto her chair and starts laughing. The boys grumble, but Phainon gets defensive to try and save face.
"Y-Yeah? What about it?" Phainon sputters. Then he realizes he's beyond saving and turns to attempt to blame Mydei. "Mydei- why did you make me tell them?"
"We need more funds." He says bluntly. But it was true. For a fundraiser, they needed more people to come for their services. And how else would they be able to make people come without spreading the word?
"I think you two will look great!" Hyacine says cheerfully. Phainon groans, too defeated to even protest.
"When is it? Wait..." Cyrene looks closer at the bottom of the post and realizes something else. "This was posted two weeks ago?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"For obvious reasons!" Phainon almost yells. Cyrene and Phainon almost start beefing in the middle of the restaurant until Mydei cuts in.
"It's in a month." Mydei says, giving the only normal reply.
"One month? Oh Hyacine- this is gonna be so good! We should totally go! Oh, I can revive my photo board. Staring with you!~" Cyrene exclaims, grabbing the girl's hands in her own. Hyacine blushes, unsure of how she feels seeing shirtless boys, but somewhat understands the hype.
"Do what you want. You're already enjoying making me suffer." Phainon says with his face in his hands. There's a familiar feeling that rises when Cyrene mentions her photo board. He was about to be the magnum opus again, but it brings a fond memory for him, so he decides not to argue too much. He then looks at Mydei with a sigh, a silent way to scold him for the two girls howling across from them.
"You'll thank me later." Mydei says leaning back, (and as usual making no effort in comforting Phainon).
"For what? More humiliation?" Phainon snaps back.
"For pushing you into things you can't run away from. Sometimes they end up better than you think." Mydei grins, and Phainon rolls his eyes.
He misses the weight of Mydei’s words, but Cyrene doesn't. A thought lingers for the next month.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
Phainon (Age: 21, university year 3, one month later...)
Today, Phainon feels like the gods were testing him. For weeks after the sports teams got together to organize this shirtless carwash, he didn't think it was a big deal. For some reason, now that the day is finally here, he finds himself feeling more of the embarrassment. This is what happens when you suppress your feelings.
Chat between Phainon and Cyrene, yesterday:
Phainon: Heyyy, are you gonna come to pick me up after the shirtless carwash tomorrow? I need moral support!
Cyrene: I can’t, I’m sorry Phai. I’m will be going home early to prep for the girls to come over.
Phainon: Hey, don't sweat it
Phainon: I guess I'll just suffer 🥲
Cyrene: Believe me, I wish I could be there recording your dumbass 😔
Phainon: Rude
Cyrene: You'll be fine you dork🙄
Cyrene: Remember to put on sunscreen!
He wasn't able to convince any of his friends to come save him, which internally scarred him. The girls were either gonna be out or stuck in class, as informed by his best friend. On top of all this, Cyrene asked to borrow his car for today- probably to carpool and pick up the girls, he thinks. He's not mad, but it means he likely has to ask someone else to drive him back.
Cyrene: You can come over afterwards?
Phainon: Sorry I think I'll be too tired afterwards. You ladies have fun
Cyrene: Don't worry about it! Rest!
Cyrene: Just know I'll be supporting you from afar
Indeed, he could come over to Cyrene's afterwards. From the way she talked to it briefly to him, it seemed like she was getting the whole group together. He sighs, wishing he could. But at that point, he might as well go home. His captain was particularly strict with this fundraiser going well, and would likely stay washing cars until dinner time. Phainon can't forget the cringey words coming from his captain wanting to draw in customers with fan-service.
"Remember, this isn't about soap and water. It's about the team." "Put your back into it- sell it like you're a model!" "Smile, boys!" "Remember to flex when you scrub the hood, Phainon!"
Who thought this was a good idea? Why couldn't they just do a bake sale instead?
Phainon sighs, thinking beggars can't be choosers. Also, speaking of team captain: Mydei recently became the captain for his own team. He was with him at the carwash, but because of his new leader status, he was abusing it and being super lazy. For majority of the day, Mydei wasn't washing cars, but instead sitting on his ass on a nearby lawn chair like your uncle at a barbecue. Phainon was jealous that he could get away with it, and he won't even hide it.
The white haired male currently stands in disbelief, towelling his wet torso. Just mere moments ago, Mydei's customer who happened to be a girl in his class that he was eyeing, came over. He suspects he might've been too mouthy when trying to drive up sales, thus leading Mydei to let her spray him with the hose. Well, at least he got to tease his usually broody friend for getting so blushy.
The things Mydei does for a girl, Phainon thinks to himself while discarding the towel and putting his shirt back on.
"Hey Phainon, someone's asking for you." A volunteer suddenly comes up to him as he sends his previous patron off with a clean car. Phainon turns around, blinking curiously at the volunteer.
He sighs, internally groaning at the thought of another one. Another one of the handful of people who would come to get the service from him, and linger longer than necessary. Their intentions were obvious from the compliments, giggles, and asking for his number. Yeah, he was still getting approached, but he's grown used to politely saying no. It was a bit exhausting and uncomfortable, but it was better than getting your heartbroken. He's learned his lesson that it wasn't the right way to approach a relationship.
He nodded to the volunteer, who quickly scurried away to let the next car into his lot. Just smile, clean their car, flex a little, then if they ask for my number just politely decline.
Phainon rolls his shoulders to stretch and get ready, but suddenly freezes- shoulders half-raised as he hears the very familiar rumble of a car.
His car.
His car was pulling into his own lot, smooth and careful like the driver actually respected it. For a split second he chuckles, thinking it must be Cyrene who decided to surprised him and poke fun at him after all. When the car parks in and he finally sees who’s inside, he abruptly stops as he realizes he was only partially right.
His chest starts tightening, his palms sweating, and his throat started getting dry- in the exact same way when he was sixteen.
It was you.
(Y/n).
He knew it was you, even through the tinted glass of his windows. At that point he realizes how your face somehow followed through in his memories- every awkward date, every half-hearted crush, every half-baked relationship. It was you.
And now you were pulling into his lot, in his car.
His heart was hammering in his chest, but this time he didn't run.
How many times has he made excuses again? "I said I'd think about it first." "I'll meet her... eventually." "I'll see her when I see her." Years of brushing off Cyrene's invites, telling her of a next time that never happened. Years of dodging, and months of saying yes to the wrong people, only to watch that spark fizzle out quickly.
"Phai, you don't have to say yes to everyone, you know? It's okay to wait. It's okay to say no."
That's what Phainon remembers Cyrene saying to him that day. And she's right. He should have said no earlier to things that weren't going to be genuine. But what happens when he's given this opportunity? Does he say no?
"I know you can do it, Phainon."
"-For pushing you into things you can't run away from. Sometimes they end up better than you think."
Perhaps the only thing he should have said no to what the insecure version of himself that wanted to hide. Did he feel like running right now? Yes. Did he feel like he was gonna throw up out of nervousness? Yes, but hopefully not.
Still, despite the sheer amount of sweat, awkwardness, and completely inevitable feeling of being unprepared- he was here, smiling. Smiling as you rolled down your windows, looking equally as awkward, but still had the same fierceness- the “I don’t get paid enough to do this” expression that told him Cyrene likely put you to this. But you were still you, the same you that he memorized from Cyrene's photo wall from years ago. You were brighter, sharper... real. Not to mention a hundred times more gorgeous- which of course did wonders for his heart. You were looking for him. And he was an idiot who let himself lose sight of what was a chance for him all this time.
"Hey, were you looking for me?" He says, with full confidence.
And for the first time, Phainon didn't feel like running. He grinned- wide, easy, and genuine as he perched himself on the edge of your his open window. His heart was pounding, but it was steady now.
He's missed out on a lot- so why shouldn't he give you the full show?
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
A/N: Hi Phainon nation, once again thank you for your support (if you read the previous parts, I love you)!
To paraphrase my reply to a fellow commenter, POIDH was supposed to be written as a series (which is why The Waiting Game feels like it ends on a cliffhanger). However, I did not feel like I had strong enough ideas. Therefore, the options are:
Waiting until I do have ideas
Opening requests? Like if you want to see a small drabble written on something you wanna see in relation to this series
Leaving it at this
Idk!!! Either way, tell me your thoughts (or scream with me about Phainon and Mydei's soapy boobs) because I love all your comments ❤️
I may or may not have one last idea(?), so if I decide to continue this, uhhhhh I guess you'll see it in the tags :)
Some unhinged eldritch Phainon blurb I wrote at the witching hour. Inspired from the summer hikaru died (god I love the manga and the anime just fed my delusions more lol). Mentions of death, body horror, body snatching, Phainon being weird (aka having adhd), non consensual touching, mild nsfw etc. it's not proof read or edited, so enjoy the 2k word vomit.
Phainon hasn't been the same since he went to that mountain three summers ago.
The most beloved son of your small farming village, the person people turned to help with small problems, the boy who used to play with the little runts in your neighborhood and your best friend of many years changed all of a sudden.
He was found after being missing for more than a week that summer all bruised up with a broken limb. You remember bawling your eyes out at the sight of him sitting in the hospital bed in a stupid gown, looking at you as if you are the most precious thing he had ever seen. You didn't mind it much when the hug you had crushed him into tightened up a bit. It was negligible, forgettable, but looking back on it, that was your sign that the boy who went up the mountain never came back down.
And he never told you why he went there in the first place. Something about an old tradition his dad, and his dad, and his dad before him used to do. It was sacred, necessary and he had to do it, even when the weather report said that it would be the stormiest day in all of that year.
Phainon came back though. He weathered a rough week up the mountain, got scolded by his mom and his friends alike for scaring the shit out of them, started school again and everything went back to normal.
It should have gone back to normal.
It started out small, this feeling that something didn't fit as it was meant to, like some pieces of furniture that aren't meant to be in the same room. Phainon was handsy with you, touching you in a gesture meant to be between friends, a safe protective hand that you were familiar with.
But this Phainon couldn't be without you for one second. His hands needed to touch anything remotely belonging to you or you. His hands would encircle your shoulders, hanging off them like wet laundry. Sometimes he would grab you by the waist, his head fitting into the crook of your neck.
You scolded him for being like this, swatting away his hands at times when you couldn't take it, but then he would start crying, saying that you didn't like him anymore, didn't want him anymore. Strange, you thought as you tried to make him stop crying in the corridor for everyone to see, he never used to say things like that.
Your classmates since elementary cooed at how close you both had gotten, clinging to each other like paper to glue. Like a baby chick following after its mother. They laughed and made fun of Phainon, how he must have his wits rattled that he was clinging to you this much. You laughed good-naturedly, trying to mask your unease by ruffling the boy’s ivory hair, thinking that you needed to give him time to readjust.
But he hasn't left your side since then.
He would sometimes follow you all the way home, making sure you got home safe even though his house was on the other end of the road.
“There are talks of strange and weird stuff happening around the village,” he said as paddled alongside you on his worn bike. “It's best to be vigilant about things like this!” You couldn't argue about it. Things had gotten strange. Corpse turning up in strange places. People dying in bizarre manners. All after Phainon came back.
Worst of all nobody had any idea why this was happening. So you chalked up his sudden protectiveness for prevention. You should have gone with your gut and questioned the situation more.
He hung out at your house a lot too. Rather than staying at your house every other day of the week he started visiting regularly, sometimes bearing gifts or wanting to do homework together. Other times he barged in like he owned the place.
“Do you not want me around anymore?” He would ask all puppy-like, his big blue eyes innocently staring at you, but the Phainon you knew wasn't a big cry baby like this one was. You with your big heart would eventually surrender and show him up to your room as he happily trailed after you, the doubts only creeping up more.
From staying at your house to eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, sometimes even staying the night when it got too late, you saw Phainon 24/7 around the clock.
You couldn't sleep properly whenever he stayed at your house. Something always watched you whenever he slept in your room on the floor, and the thought of him doing that was just absurd. There was no way he was constantly watching you all night long without sleeping a wink.
Besides he doesn't have those molten, cold, golden eyes. His are the softest cornflower blue. So it couldn't be him,
Right?
You thought that after reaching the final year of your high school life Phainon would tame a little. Be more restrained in his so-called ‘friendly’ affection. But he only increased the bar that could be tolerated.
Seeing Phainon sticking to your butt every single second was no longer weird or strange for your school, neighborhood or families. They all only saw a boy too attached to his childhood friend who will soon leave for college and nothing more.
They didn't dig deeper like you and some others did, didn't see the wrongness of it all. How could they? He had three years of practice, three years to rifle through memories to perfect his act, and three years to make everyone believe that ‘Phainon’ had come back from that mountain alive and well.
You tried to talk to Cyrene, another one of your and Phainon’s childhood friends, but no matter how many times you brought it up she only gave you an uncomfortable smile and fake assurance that you were just overthinking things. But you knew her. She wouldn't outright lie to you or try to deflect the problem if she didn't think it was the right thing to do.
Cyrene was warning you in her own way that you shouldn't dig further, be blissfully ignorant of the warnings, because if you didn't…
Phainon's moodiness had increased when he saw that you had started to drift away. He clung harder, fiercely following you everywhere where he could.
“Let's eat at this restaurant this time after school! Huh? What do you mean you have to study? You are already so smart! Any of those big city colleges will be happy to take you. And…if you don't get into any, then there's always this village! You could stay here back home, with me.” He said stuff like this on the regular, poking and proding at you when you were trying to study in your room.
The knot in your throat was only getting tighter with each doubt. Those eyes you couldn't see when you turned the road, that constant feeling of being watched even when you took a shower, that coldness on your bare thighs when you shucked off the blanket one particularly hot night.
You couldn't take it anymore. This torture that the boy you had been treating as your Phainon night not be him after all.
And the lack of answers wasn't helping. If he wasn't Phainon, then who was he?
You needed to know, otherwise you were sure you would go insane.
So you did what any sensible person would do– you asked him directly.
“Hey, Phai?” You asked when he was blissfully eating that cheap ice cream from the roadside stall that you both had been eating from since you were kids. For him to eat it like it was his first time was nothing short of terrifying.
“Yeah?” The cream clung to the corners of his mouth. He looked at you with that love struck expression he had since he came back and it does nothing to soothe your nerves. You took a deep breath and asked him the question that had been weighing on you for three years– “Who are you?”
A silence as long as eternity stretched between you two. You think you saw a hint of gold in those otherwise blue eyes, but it was gone as soon as his smile returned. “What do you mean? I am Phainon. Who else would I be? Maybe you had too much ice cream and are having a brain freeze.”
He bit into your melting ice cream in your hand while you stared at him with utter confusion, licking at your hand a little. The recoiling sensation you felt, the same one you had when you felt something going up your shirt at night and groping you in places it shouldn't, rushed into your senses.
You backed away from him and the immediate broken expression he had on his face, on Phainon's face, was gut-wrenching.
You apologised profusely, saying that your mind was elsewhere, but you thought he knew why you ran away from him.
You knew he wasn't Phainon. The boy had been dead for three fucking years and this…thing wore his skin and masqueraded around as him and no one knew. All except for the people who were murdered.
Those strange bodies had definitely been his handiwork, you were sure of it. But with nothing except the fear of being next on the chopping block you didn't come out of your house for the entire week.
You didn't go to school, didn't eat anything, didn't shower, and didn't answer the door when he came to check on you.
“Please, open the door,” he had the audacity to plead in your Phainon's voice. "At least eat something. Look! I brought–”
“I don't want it!!!” You screamed through the door. You couldn't be within breathing distance from your friend's corpse. That monster, whatever it was, would kill you like the others. It was just the matter of when.
Then that night came. The air was chilled for a month like July, and you felt even colder underneath the heaps of blankets you hid under.
A knock came by your window. Once politely, gently rapped against the glass. But after five knocks it grew desperate, enraged.
“(Name) open up the door.” The voice wasn't like anything you had ever heard. It didn't belong to any man, or woman. It was a garbled mess, like someone chewed on it, and reverberated it your head.
It asked three more times, each met with silence on your end. After the third it grew quiet. 'Maybe he left,' you thought and peeked out from the small opening in your blanket.
The room was deathly silent and cold, and then something whispered right by your ear– “I am in your room.”
It clamped your tearful shrieks with a strong hand and tore you out from your fortress of blankets. The window hadn't been smashed or the door opened. You didn't know how it got in but it did and you looked at it in horror.
Its eyes were no longer blue. It had shed that mask, and instead you were met with eyes so golden, so wrathful that you thought it might burn you to death. His palm seared into your jaw preventing your movement. His chest had a crack that glowed with the same gold as his eyes and was the only source of light in the entire room.
“(Name)!! I can finally see you,” it used your friends voice, the fucking bastard, greetings you like you were old pals who hadn't seen each other in weeks. Your tears never clung to your lashes. They evaporated under the heat of this being.
“It wasn't fair you know,” he pulled you closer, making you sit on his thighs that were bigger than the last time you had remembered. “I was trying to be nice, not trying to scare you. But then you had to hole yourself in your room and not make me see you anymore!! You were really mean.”
It was ridiculous how he was pouting about unfairness without caring that he was potentially melting half of your face. He smiled and like concrete cracks emerged on his face, “Don't you know that I can't spend a single day without seeing you smile? Oh, well. I’ll have to punish you for making me go through that.”
Your eyes widened and your efforts to wrench yourself out of his grasp doubled. Please don't kill me, the words echoed in your mind and maybe he heard them because what he said next made you want to stop breathing – “Oh nonononono, I won't kill you!!! How can I? You are the most precious person to me, my guiding light, my everything. Since having this body you are the only thing that has breathed life into it, how could I snatch away my only source of oxygen?”
Its hands lowered and burned at your quaking skin, repulsed by the softening heat. He toyed with the waistband of your night shorts and looked at you with lidded eyes. “Y’know, he only had the thoughts of you in his final moments. The only cherished memories he had was of you. Maybe that's what made me fall for you. Who knows? I feel sorry for the guy,” his fingers touched the skin underneath and you cried harder. “He’ll never get to fulfill his dreams of having you. But don't worry, I'll fulfill them in his stead. Since I am ‘Phainon'.”
It pushed you against your own bed, your voice now unmuffled now pleading with him to stop; it never listened. But as it lowered down further you realised that it couldn't kill you.
It had already committed worse by falling in love with you.
Pics or it Didn't Happen: Shirtless Carwash Edition [Phainon x f!reader]
Summary: Your school is hosting a shirtless carwash as a fundraiser for the sports teams. There's no problem with hot boys being shirtless and wet. The problem is when your best friend asks you to film Phainon, and then you realize the previously scrawny kid was not scrawny anymore. (Modern!au and college/uni!au)
A/N: Aaand here we go again :) Mydei version here!
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Can you please go to the shirtless carwash fundraiser the sports teams are hosting? Phainon is gonna be there and I know he's busy making a fool of himself. Could you get a video for me, pretty please? I need proof!
Or something like that.
Earlier today, your best friend Cyrene tasked you with the worst task on campus.
"Phainon is doing the shirtless carwash today."
"...congrats?"
Cyrene rolls her eyes and giggles at your confused yet genuine response. She leans back a bit more comfortably, adjusting how she was looking at you, with that face. You knew that face. It usually meant trouble.
"Thanks," Cyrene replies in the same tone to match yours. "Anyway- I need evidence. I already know it's gonna be a disaster, acting like a total show off. Sooooo... will you do it?"
"Wait- you're actually serious? You want me to film your friend flexing for strangers while washing cars for a penny?"
"It's actually for five dollars. Don't underestimate it, it'll add up." Cipher pipes in all of a sudden, and you whip your head over to her. Your eyes narrow at her chiming in so randomly, since she's been lounging on the grass like a cat tans in the sun.
"Well... it's cringey... and I have dignity I want to preserve, so just- no." You reply curtly, barely even creating a good argument from the absurdity of the request. The damage it would do to your non existent reputation!
"Come onnnn! This will be great blackmail material for me. And it's not like you like him or anything, right?"
Of course you don't. In fact you've never actually seen him ever in your life. You've been to Cyrene's house several times, but never encountered her longtime childhood friend- Phainon, you remember his name was. Every hang out, every sleepover, every picnic in her backyard... you were always surprised Phainon never made an appearance.
From the minimal knowledge you do have of him, is from hearing Cyrene complain about him, or his ugly photos on her wall of photos of friends since childhood. You remember him- who wouldn't? He was the only one with fluffy white hair and eyes as blue as the sky. The photos were taken when he was a lot younger- maybe elementary school and high school... which was probably why Cyrene needed more "updated" blackmail. Most of the bad photos were mostly of him crying- one probably when he was a teenager from eating something too spicy, another from him sleeping with his mouth hanging open. Sadly, you find yourself on that wall too taken from the most unflattering of angles (thanks Cyrene).
"Behold: The Idiot", or "His fashion sense was terrible back then- some things never change!" is what Cyrene would say when she acquired a new photo for her wall. Yeah, that's a pretty mean thought for a child, but you figured it had to mean something for how much Cyrene complained about how annoying he was. Either way, this was the narrative she created of him for you as well.
"Why can't you do it? Or Hyacine? Castorice? What about you Cipher? You don't seem to be doing anything." You protest, and it was a perfect argument. Why you?!
"Mmph- what?" Cipher almost chokes on her own saliva as she suddenly jolts up from the grass. "No no no- not me. I do have better things to do, so I won't be watching boys soap up cars."
"Hyacine and Castorice have class until tonight. Plus, they're way too jittery. As for you, I've seen your face go stone cold even when the school mascot sang Despacito in the middle of our lecture." Cyrene responds, although you still don't think thats good enough to convince you. "And obviously I can't go, he'll know somethings up. Which is why, you need to be my valiant Trojan Horse~"
"Okay... but what is a Trojan Horse without the actual horse...?" You internally smirk to yourself, thinking you had her now. How could you even go to the shirtless carwash if you had no car to wash? And you knew Cyrene didn't have one either.
"You can borrow mine~" You and Cyrene turn your heads at the same time to Cipher, who just nonchalantly offered. "It could use a nice cleaning, y'know?"
You make a face of disgust, though you're not sure if it was more for Cyrene's wide smirk, or Cipher smiling and somehow not seeming like she's scheming for once. Why.
Anyway, something something "it's a five dollar car wash, in this economy?!", is how you find yourself walking off with a huge sulk. With Cyrene's annoying, "See you later! Tell me how it goes and send me the pics!", you were off to war. The war that was shirtless boys, with your Trojan Horse known as Cipher's car. You were starting to think Cyrene was the annoying one, and not her idiot friend.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
The parking lot was a complete mess- though what did you expect? Buckets were clattering on the floor, hoses spraying everywhere, loud pop music blasting. And of course, wet shirtless boys. Shirtless carwash customers were supposed to be people who have zero shame of ogling at abs. God, if there was one place you didn't want to be, it was here.
You reluctantly pull up in Cipher's car, slowly driving into the lot. It’s weird that she has such a nice car, you think for a brief moment. Maybe you could go so slow that you'd disappear and then have a nice evening at home, without the embarrassment. Instead, one of the volunteers rushes you forward and suddenly you have to go in. Shit, now I'm actually doing this, you think.
"Welcome! You here for the carwash?"
"I- uh... I'm with the photography club." Your brain blanked, trying to find a way to save face. You mentally facepalm at your stupid excuse. Yeah it sounds plausible but the photography club was already out and taking pictures... you know- not in a car ready to look at boys? But the volunteer didn't seem to care, despite the suspicion.
"Okay... well we have an open spot on the left." He gestures to the empty spot on the left, and suddenly you think of something. You don't even know if that spot was Phainon. There were so many boys, and you didn't know which one was Phainon.
"Phainon."
"What?"
"I- I mean... I need Phainon." Way to be subtle.
"Oh. Of course you do." The volunteer sighs with a smile then redirects you. You want to crawl in a hole. "Well in that case, pull over to the right over there and he'll wave you over. He should be finishing up."
Did the soldiers inside the Trojan Horse ever die in there? You didn't know, but you sure did. You pull over to the right as instructed and idly wait. Your heart starts beating really fast and suddenly you realize that you don't even know why you're actually taking this seriously. You were glad you made the call to ask for Phainon but it really wasn't worth the embarrassment. You take a deep breath, mentally calming yourself before what was about to happen. Cyrene was right wasn't she? You were stone cold, and boys are cringe- Phainon was no exception. You even started to feel bad knowing this scrawny kid was sacrificing his dignity to wash cars for five bucks. Maybe you'd even share a laugh with him knowing Cyrene bullied you both, which was fine because she always told you how...
"Hey, were you looking for me?"
...how hot he was?
No.
This... This guy was supposed to be the one who slept with his mouth open and makes ugly faces when eating spicy food. The one who was awkward and wore mismatches clothes. And now- his abs were about to be in your window.
You gulped as you slowly parked inside the empty lot. He was tall, with white hair all damp and starting to curl from how many times the water probably splashed on him. The sun was highlighting every ridge of his muscles, which were straining against the tight white t-shirt he wore. He has definitely bulked up. His shorts were slung teasingly low, and it was worse that he strutted over to you like he owned the place. But looking closer, the guy was unmistakably Phainon- with the same white hair and bright blue eyes. This was him now?!
"Hi..." You roll down your window and suddenly your face goes beat red. He hasn't even done anything yet, and somehow he's got you wrapped around his finger. He leans his forearm on the ledge of your open window, and cocks his head to the side as if he was a cute puppy. You knew this was already spelling more trouble if you were more flustered than him. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"Cute. And you are?" Shit. He called you cute too.
"Uh- I'm with the photography club." You blurt out. It seems your brain was still thinking about the embarrassment and how to save face.
"I was asking for your name sweetheart." He chuckles, and oh it is so unfair how handsome he is when he smiles (even at the expense of you being an idiot). "But not to worry. You asked for me personally, so I'm sure I'll get to know your name later."
"I-It's not like that." You softly protest. You knew asking for Phainon from the volunteer earlier would spark that kind of thought- like you were here for something else.
"Mm, I'm sure." He says casually with a teasing lilt. You were sure he wasn't believing you. He was already getting the hose ready, testing the spray to wash your car. That seems to snap you back to why you were here in the first place- oh yeah, record the idiot. The idiot who happened to be a hot idiot who now had abs and a nice smile and called you sweetheart.
"...Is it okay if I filmed this?" You ask shyly. You knew you had a duty to do for Cyrene but truly you didn't want to do it and humiliate the poor guy.
"Of course, that's why you're here isn't it? Photography club?" He looks over his shoulder and smirks when he says that, almost in a mocking way. He knew. He definitely knew. And the worst part was, he knew and he was enjoying it. You watched as he tugged the hem of his shirt and peeled it up and over his head with practiced ease, revealing his bare chest. He flings his shirt carelessly somewhere on the grass, his eyes never leaving yours. The cocky smirk he wore told you exactly what you didn't want to hear.
He's doing this on purpose. He knows exactly what he's doing.
"You ready?" He asked, and you hated the way his voice dipped in a teasing way, like he meant something else. You gulped but didn't answer, only rushing to close your window before he started rinsing the car.
Without waiting, he suddenly angles the hose at himself and sprays his chest with the water. The water streamed all over his sculpted lines, glinting under the sun. He let out a boyish giggle and he ran a hand through his hair, which was pointless because it just fell back in the same handsome formation.
You fumble as you shyly hold up your phone, trying to document the spectacle but it was too much. Your hands were shaking the entire time, and Phainon seemed to be enjoying the subtle reactions he got out of you. In every frame of your video so far, Phainon has held your gaze, almost as if he was making sure you were watching every flex of his muscles and teasing smile.
Cyrene was right about one thing- he was annoying.
Your grip tightened on your phone, not sure how much longer you could stay sane while needing to record him. You tried thinking of other things, like how much you were going to kill Cyrene. But that thought could only go so far, because your eyes kept darting to Phainon and his stupidly hot- ...everything.
As Phainon gradually made his way around the car to wash it, you were sure he knew how attractive he was. He wasn't just washing the car anymore, he was performing. It was so stupid. He's so stupid. You get it now, you really do. When Cyrene called him a clown, an idiot, a buffoon... you get it.
He dragged the sponge with long wipes, making sure for it to take the most strength it could out of him so his arms could flex. His abs still dripping with water and rippled every time he stretched over to clean a certain place. You also realized he had a sun tattoo on his neck, which you were sure was a sign from the gods that mocked you because it reminded you of how the sun was highlighting all his features. Worst of all, his eyes kept darting towards yours too, seeing if you were still recording. What did you get yourself into? He wasn't supposed to be hot.
And for the last part- where he finally ended up right in front of your window, he lifted the hose again and sprayed it on his chest again, as if to shred the last of your composure. God you hated this. You hated that he knew how hot he was and that you just discovered it five minutes ago. The water cascaded all over his chest, letting it drip down the lines of his stomach.
At this point, you weren't even paying attention to the recording anymore. This was a blatant thirst trap and you fell right into it.
Before you knew it, Phainon finally shut off the hose and tosses the sponge and towel into the empty bucket as if he was wrapping up your performance. He dries himself off and puts his white shirt back on- which by the way was useless since his torso was still damp so you could still see his stupid abs underneath. He tapped on your window and you snap out of your trance, rolling down your window again. He bent down slightly, the same cocky boyish grin he had on earlier.
"Hey gorgeous," He said casually as the water droplets were slightly dripping into the car. "Did you enjoy yourself?"
Ugh. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out as you barely know how to respond. But suddenly a voice interrupts you and you don't have to.
"Phainon?"
Professor Anaxagoras?
"Professor Anaxa! Hi!" Phainon yells and waves with both arms as Professor Anaxa passes by the parking lot, absolutely disgusted with what he's seeing.
"Don't- Don't call me that- in fact don't call me anything. I cannot even look at you in the eye right now." Professor Anaxa sputters and averts his eyes, quickly speed-walking away from the shirtless carwash. "And (Y/n), I expected better of you-"
You suddenly flinch when Professor Anaxa addresses you. You blush in embarrassment as you didn't know he even realized you were in the car. Phainon on the other hand, spins his head back towards you, his baby blues widening.
"You're (y/n)?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh, so you are Cyrene's friend." He's caught you, you think. Wait he knows you? "I thought you looked familiar when you pulled in."
"Anyways- for the carwash..." You quickly pull out a five dollar bill and hand it to him, hoping to cut off his suspicions to why you were really here. Hopefully after this you could just be on your merry way. He takes the cash and puts it in his pocket. He looks at the sky for a moment, noticing the sun about to set then turns back to you.
"So, I think I'm done for the day. What do you say I drive you back to Cyrene?" He offers. You're suddenly confused as his large hand dips through your window and unlocks the rest of the car doors. He doesn't even let you answer, only smiling as he opens your door and gestures for you to come out. You’re confused yet you can’t help but comply when a hot boy commands you to do something.
"Wait- what..." You awkwardly round the car and head in to sit in the passenger seat as Phainon gets in the drivers seat. You put on your seatbelt, your heart pounding. Suddenly, you see Phainon already staring at you.
"I think I'd know if I was washing my own car, princess." Phainon tilts his head in the most annoyingly hot way and gives you a wink. Your face drops- he knew it from the start. Cyrene and Cipher set you up. You knew you had a weird feeling of Cipher having a crisp black car. No, he was never the idiot, you were.
He holds his hand out, as if waiting for you to put something in his hand. And you knew. You took the car keys out of your pocket and put them in his palm. He starts up the car (why did he look hot doing that?) and doesn't back out yet. He senses your embarrassment and chuckles, finding it cute.
"Well, seeing as we're both being bullied by Cyrene, what do you say we go out for a bite to eat instead?"
Was he... asking you on a date? No... he was just a mutual friend, right?
"Sure..." You curse yourself, thinking of how easy it is for Phainon to make you fold and say yes.
"Perfect," He says, with a smile as if he knew you were going to say yes. "Let's go then, photography club."
“Oh my god…”
He laughs as you bury your face in your hands, both of you knowing that your ploy was silly and was foiled from the start. But somehow, you find yourself feeling comfortable with him. And with his window open and his fluffy white hair flowing in the wind, you can't say you're complaining about the view either-
"Careful sweetheart. Keep looking at me like that and you'll make me think that you came here on your own looking for me." Phainon smirks without taking his eyes off the road. You whip your head to the other side. Why was he so good at this?
"I-It's not like that..." You say shyly.
"Mm, I'm sure. This feels like deja vu." He says teasingly. You scoff trying so hard to be annoyed with him, but he's too handsome. He only chuckles again.
"Don't worry, you're cute so... I'd let you."
The words lingered in the air for a bit longer than you imagined. For once, Phainon's usual (hot) smirk was replaced by the genuine smile and light tint of pink on his cheeks. His eyes kept facing forward and his hands were steady on the wheel, but the faint blush of his face betrayed him. You stared at him for a moment too long, your chest fluttering at the implications. How many times has he called you cute by now?
This wasn't supposed to end with a date, let alone anything romantic. And yet you somehow find yourself smiling, like it was all going to end up how you never would've dreamed of.
You, and the hot idiot known as Phainon.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆
After a bit of back and forth with Phainon in the car, you fumble with your phone, almost forgetting about the main task. You send the videos to Cyrene.
Y/N: Here.
Y/N: [see video attachments]
Cyrene: Those are for you to keep!
Cyrene: You're welcome ;)
Y/N: fuck you
And of course, it was completely deliberate.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Edit: Hi friends, thank you for the support on this. 300+ notes in a day is quite a lot for me. I loved reading all of your comments.
Unsure how many of this will see this, but who wants a part 2 to this?
my husband suddenly became love"sick"?! ft. phainon
got the collective ideas from my post! ty yall <333 basically regressor au bc he lowkey fumbled in the past lifetime (and you died) so he pulled the uno reverse card and highkey turned back the time
WARNING/S: yandere, obsessive behavior, implied drugging at the end
