yo !

ask me about death

[myrloe]

[yolandepaquet]

[ In the gift box: all of the above, plus the Mocha Latte, Orange Dreamsicle, Pink Grapefruit and Galaxy bath bombs. ]

So I was just going to get you one but I have poor self restraint and Etsy kept recommending me great shit. Now you have all the corpsely merch you will need for a lifetime.

Merry Xmas. — Jude

“You gave me the greatest gift of them all: ‘will embalm for wine’ will be my new Insta bio. Merci infiniment, beau chéri !”

[yolandepaquet]

warrenkenna‌:

“…….Bitch! I fucking won a 100 dollar gift card for the Hideout. You know what that fuckin means, right?” Placing her phone over the small desk of her room, Kenna grinned from ear to ear, as soon as the blonde’s face became clearer on the smaller window on the screen. “I’m using it when you get your ass back here, we can have a croissant party. I miss you, okay? Come back soon, I have no one to poke my boobs.” ( @yolandepaquet )

“Hey, don’t call me bitch, it’s rude,” Yo said, but she wasn’t really that upset about it... just not a fan of the word. At all. She was beyond happy to be face to face with Kenna, though, even if it was just over the phone. As great as it was to be home-home, she missed Beaumont a ton. “That sounds like heaven, I am in,” she said, smiling brightly. Nice to know that plans were still being made in her absence. “Just a few more weeks and I will be back with you. Did I miss anything good? Apart from your boobs?”

[yolandepaquet]

vlmas‌:

    Sipping on her chocolate milkshake, straw - free in a futile act to SAVE THE TURTLES   (  she’d had one as a kid and now she felt eternally indebted   ), Alma laughs at the dramatized description.   “   Guns and strippers, is that not the American way ?   ”   She begins.   “   Think that might’ve been my dad, he’s really been feeling it this year. I’ve had to try ‘n rein him back in.   ”   Of course she doubted it’d literally been him, though she couldn’t rule him out entirely either. Some people were simply overly patriotic, and her father happened to be one of them.   “   He was tryin’ to put me and my brother in, get this, matching USA onesies. Onesies ! Now I will not deny that they looked awfully cozy, but I don’t think I would’a made it more than a couple of hours in it before heatstroke and embarrassment took me right out.   ”

Yolande shrugs, the girl is right after all. It’s all so very American. “Okay, yes you’re right. It’s just a bit... strong, you know? I thought we were doing a lot back at home, but it’s nothing compared to here,” she says, although she has to admit... the tv transmissions of the Paris festivities on le 14e Juillet are still an almost ridiculous display. “The onesies sound kind of cute, I would wear one,” she muses, kind of picturing it. Sure, she’d look like a big baby or whatever, not the most attractive look... but the coziness factor. At least worth considering. “It is far too hot though, I will give you that. Maybe you should get a nice big patriotic hat.”

[yolandepaquet]

sebfoster‌:

France? France?! Why did this feel like brand new information? “What? You’re fucking leaving me in this shit show of a town! For how fucking long?” he asked and moved so he was fully facing her. It was clear that this has come to a shock to him and honestly just a little pissed. He was really gonna miss her and if she was moving forever and being so selfish and enjoying her life, then Yolande better be ready for Sebastian dragging himself to the frog country. 

“You’re damn right I’m going to miss you,” Seb admitted and wrapped an arm around his second favourite girl. After a brief pause when he remembered something slightly about her going, but he purposefully decided to ignore it. “So… can you send me a fuck load of cheese?”

“I’m coming back!” she defended herself, almost laughing in his face at the sheer horror on his face. “I’m only gone for three weeks or so. Do you really think I would go back to Europe forever without taking you with me?”

As he wrapped his arm around her, she leaned against him, happy with the admission. No point in leaving if people weren’t upset about it. “I will miss you too, so much. And you can have all the cheese, I will bring so much. Maybe some French boys’ phone numbers.”

[yolandepaquet]

judenolans‌:

“The museum of salt and pepper shakers? What ever will we do…” Jude said, in faux shock and disapproval.  He kept throwing glances her way, the fact she was munching on something from a tray she insisted to bring along somewhat getting to him. Naturally he hadn’t had any breakfast besides coffee. “Gimme one ‘o those cornbreads,” he said, sounding very Tennesseean in that moment. This place was getting to him. He liked it, but part of him hoped he’d be back in New York before anyone started accusing him of being a full on Southerner. (although he could definitely get with this lifestyle too, and maybe more than he would like to have admitted, it suited him somewhat).

“Emo kid? Nah, I was a nerdy kid if anything. Glasses, braces, and always getting A’s on pop quizzes. Hell I don’t even remember if I listened to music back then. I was into basketball, baseball, and shooting nerf guns.” And finding stashes of my dad’s porn collection, but that didn’t need to be said out loud.

“We can always go back soon,” she teased, although she reluctantly had to admit that she kind of wanted to go. It sounded dorky but also like a fun place to tag your Insta pics, which counted for a lot in her books. And if Jude was there, it would be fun. She held the snack tray out for him to grab something, “You have to try the madeleines, they turned out really great.”

Yo smiled as he described the younger version of himself, “I can see it. But you would have been a good emo kid. I’m sure the emo girls would have loved you.” Full confidence on that, he would definitely have killed it... as long as he dropped the baseball, that didn’t feel very emo. “I was never an emo kid either, but I would have made a good one, I think. Maybe we just haven’t reached that phase yet.”

[yolandepaquet]

morticianbarbie qu’on est bien chez soi 🌊

♥ 82        💬  11

[yolandepaquet]

txt: yolande → nico

Nico: What makes you assume I don't get out?

Yo: your whole resistance against the 4th

Yo: but okay i did meet you in public so you get points

Yo: you are just allergic to people my age

[yolandepaquet]

charlie-foxworth‌:

“Travel a little further south and it gets worse,” Charlie scoffed. He knew all too well what a redneck Fourth of July could look like, no matter how sophisticated his political family could pretend to be. “My friends and I used to have holiday bonfires growin’ up and we’d play ‘gunshots or fireworks’ all night long every time we heard a pop.”

Yolande quirked a brow at the man, waiting for him to reveal that he was joking. Then that brief window of time passed, and apparently, he was serious. “You Americans are crazy, I am more convinced every day I’m here,” she told him, but she had to admit that she was kind of intrigued by the absurdity of the concept, at the very least. “Did you actually hear that many gunshots? I don’t think that is normal.”

[yolandepaquet]

“This is actually my first fourth of July in Beaumont and... this place is bizarre. Why are there guns and strippers everywhere?” she asked, brows raised to emphasize her befuddlement at the scale of it all. Exaggerating a little bit, sure, but somehow the small town celebration felt way more over the top than the ones she had experienced in Nashville, and Bastille Day back home was definitely no match in terms of sheer patriotic madness. “Someone actually walked by my house and shouted ‘USA USA’ at 1 am.”

[yolandepaquet]

@nhwoods

"I’m glad you came out tonight like you promised,” Yo told Nico, leaning her head against his shoulder in appreciation. She wasn’t entirely sure what was in her red solo cup (hard to say when it came from someone’s shed) but whatever it was, it had done the trick of getting her nicely buzzed. “I have kind of been pretending all day that the fireworks and everything are for the tricolore. Even though it is a bit early.”

“I am honestly a little disappointed that you don’t have red, white, and blue pastel colors all over your face today. I thought that was your thing.”

[ilanreyes]

Yarrrrr! || FrYo

[yolandepaquet]

friedsausage‌:

“Ooooh, it shall be our booty palace“, he said winking at her. Oh yes, this whole conversation was getting to this stupidity again. And Friedrich enjoyed every bit of it. He noticed how Cheri was avoiding his gaze and that only made him grin. He could go and hunt her gaze back to himself, but he didn’t want to be too invasive. She’d look at him soon again, he was sure of it. When she came to the part of what her job was Friedrich actually felt a bit bad for joking about the pirate ways. “Ouch. I hope that lady won’t come haunting me for making jokes about her death.”

He grinned taking ten points on his account for getting her to promise to visit if she got lonely. Friedr surely would open the door if she was knocking. “Of course the town is full of sausage thieves. Those who steal them to eat them and those who steal them to cover them in paint because animal rights and whatnot.” Friedrich certainly was a man who didn’t understand vegans or other salad biters. He loved his sausages and meat too much in general to understand why someone wouldn’t want to eat those. So in a way you could say he was stupid for not thinking the bigger picture. “If I’d write the shop is owned by a pirate people might not come in. Pirates might be scary to some, you know.”

“That is perfect, it really is,” she said, smiling with amusement. That was definitely one of the better pirate puns, and that was exactly why they made such a great team. A silly one for sure, but that was only part of their brand. Maybe some of the other pirates out there were tougher and scarier, but damn it, these booty pirates would have far more fun. A much better use of rum, if you asked Yolande. She shook her head as he mentioned the dead lady, “No, don’t worry. We have a guy who comes in to burn sage sometimes... it is supposed to set the ghosts free or something, I don’t really know.” She didn’t believe in all of that nonsense, but it was some kind of company policy from way before her time. “She was a nice lady too, I got a shoot from one of her gardenias once. I don’t think she would haunt anybody.”

Yo could certainly think of numerous things she would steal before getting to sausages, but she didn’t want to tell him that and make him feel like she was trash talking his business. It was an important part of the community, after all, and... apparently a hotspot for theft, though she wondered if that was entirely true. “But that was the point! Making them scared enough that they would not try anything,” she explained, maintaining that it was a good idea, “I am not saying you should go around threatening people with a hook hand or anything. But if I knew that I was messing with a pirate, I would think about it twice.”

[yolandepaquet]

jonahmatthews‌:

“Swear I’m not doing it on purpose,” said Jonah with a laugh. “I do it to try and make myself feel better about bad choices some of the time.” He’d even gone on hikes every now and again, following a night of heavy drinking, to try and make up for the fact he was a complete mess. Turned out it wasn’t the best idea. “Hey, even once a century’s a good start.”

“Okay, that makes sense. Maybe I should try that out,” she said with a light chuckle. She had definitely made her fair share of questionable decisions, so probably couldn’t hurt to try out his method. And if it actually worked, then that was just a bonus. He was a doctor after all, so maybe he knew what he was talking about. "Do you actually enjoy it? I mean, I know that some people do, but I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure I would be really bored just... walking.”

[yolandepaquet]

soniels‌:

“No problem.” A smile formed on her lips, seeing how excited the blonde got over body accessories. She could relate to the feeling, there were nights when Jude was at work and she would lie in bed, scrolling through pages. Now that Sophie knew how Yolande was just as interested, maybe she could help her out when the time to pick just one came. That shit was always too difficult. “Hot as fuck… I guess they’ve really caught your attention. Have you, you know, talked to them? Invite them over for a movie or something. Offer pizza. Lure them in.” 

“Of course I have talked to them, I’m not 12,” she said with a soft huff of laughter. Maybe she didn’t want to be too forward about the whole thing, but she was perfectly capable of flirting. “We also kissed, but things happened and then we didn’t see each other since.” It was a big mess, honestly, and she wasn’t too happy about it... but at the same time, the obstacles made her even more interested. “I don’t like pizza, but maybe a movie would work. That is just code for sex anyway, right?”

[yolandepaquet]

judenolans‌:

Jude hadn’t told her about any of his troubles. He was on the fence about that. Did he want to vent and get it out of his system? Hell yes. Did he wanna bring the mood down? Hell no. Plus, there was always the tiny offchance she would take Sophie’s side on this, and that was just about the last thing he wanted to hear. 

“Find anything good?” he asked with occasional glances over. “Also I’m not hungry yet, but if you start to get a hankering, let me know.” They were passing some burger joint or other every few miles now, and roadside stops for food was one of his favorite parts of going on drives. It was exciting, he’d never been out of Nashville or Beaumont, and now they were on the open road, driving well past both. To where? God knows, and that was part and parcel of the excitement. 

“Oh, no. Not Kacey.” Jude had to smile. “I love her more for her assets than her music, at any rate.” He found the playlist he wanted on his phone, and hit play. Much better. “Actually, lately I’ve been in a real screamo, emo kind of mood. But I won’t subject you to that shit.” 

“There are cool things, but I’m trying to find something that is not in the opposite direction... I told you you should have turned left,” she joked, back on her Weird Tennessee pages, “We missed the museum of salt and pepper shakers, so I’m not sure I can ever forgive you.”

Yo almost groaned when he said ‘hankering’, but her insistence of acting like English was never that foreign to her won. That definitely wasn’t going into her vocabulary, though. “No, not me either,” she said, even if she was snacking on her homemade madeleines during her destination research. “But we can get something later, all of those signs will probably get to me after a while.”

She wrinkled her nose at the mention of screamo, “Thank you.” Honestly, Yo wasn’t entirely sure what that even sounded like, but she was willing to bet that she was happier with A Tribe Called Quest. “Were you an emo kid? I can picture it.”

[yolandepaquet]

Jude: o rite makes sense. idk who you'd claim independence from anyway

Jude: oh damn ur going home i forgot about that!!

Jude: bring me back some brie thx

Yolande: yes leaving on the 10th !

Yolande: so technically i won't be there until the 11th

Yolande: i will bring the best brie i can find

Yolande: and i will call you from the beach

[yolandepaquet]

Jude: Is the 10th french independence day?

Yolande: no we don't really have one

Yolande: but our national day is on the 14th !

Yolande: i'm just starting the party as soon as i get home