Questions about making a safe space

The about page tells you a lil about me and the goals/tags of this blog: you-deserve-voice.tumblr.com/about

[you-deserve-voice]

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."

Mother Teresa (according to some)

[you-deserve-voice]

You don't have to justify what you like to anyone

Here are some websites that have helped me calm down, pass time, and distract myself (even smile when I was healthier):

Cute animals: http://cuteoverload.com/, http://attackofthecute.com/

Best baby hippos: http://worstcats.tumblr.com/

Humor miniseries: Bee and Puppycat, My Drunk Kitchen

OK THE POINT IS IT’S OK TO SPEND TIME LOOKING AT HUMOROUS OR CUTE THINGS. YOU ARE NOT WASTING TIME. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND MAKE TIME FOR JUST YOURSELF AND FIND THINGS THAT YOU LIKE FOR NO REASON.

Big hugs, A.E.S.

[you-deserve-voice]

Body dissociation

For a while I wore thick socks to bed, because I couldn’t feel my sensitive-skin-spots/feet against each other without having a very anxious reaction.

I had to do that for a while, and that’s OK.

Xo A.E.S.

[you-deserve-voice]

Things you can control.

Here are some things you can control, regardless of most things, I think:

whether you prefer to step ON or OVER cracks in the sidewalk

level of dress you like to sleep in (with shoes to be ready to run if you want/or if you don’t want to feel your feet, in full jammies, naked to get lots of skin feedback and know you are there)

your favorite tumblr tags

your taste in food/drink

how long to wear your hair (for masculine-identifying ppl too)

whether to put on makeup

if you prefer sitting cross-legged or hugging your knees or back-straight

What to keep secretly under your pillow, pocket, or bag

Whether you prefer mints or gum or neither

I feel I can probably say: if someone has a very strong opinion on how you are about any of the above—and voices it bossily or coercively— check that relationship.

And for friends: if you have an opinion or concern about a friend on any of the above, check why. Are you genuinely only concerned for their safety? If safety and wellbeing is the issue, here’s some language to bring up the subject in a supportive way:

How are you feeling lately?

I think you have an eating disorder. It seems like maybe you’re stressed about food. Do you want to grab lunch together, or set up a meal to have together, no pressure? Or…would it be helpful to tell me about what you are eating each day? (If the answer is no, let them know the offer stands.)

Why are the sheets always so dirty?  Hey babe, I noticed you’ve been wearing shoes to bed, which I think is new. Is it because anything is wrong? If so, I just want you to know I’m here to listen.

Hey, what’s up?

How are you?

How are you?

How are you feeling right now?

How are you?

Lurv, A.E.S.