Emms, 30 yo, she/her. I ship Destiel and THAT will never change. Since I've watched Supernatural I'm not the same anymore. You'll witness me rambling about Destiel (and Cockles sometimes). I discovered that I love writing, so yeah, here's my AO3 account: youchangedmedestiel
I'm glad you ended up here. Basically, you'll see me: lose my shit, write fics, share thoughts and reblog others' amazing posts.
✒️To find my fics: my AO3 account
🗨️To talk about Supernatural, Destiel or Cockles, my ask box is open (here's a little help with some asks ideas)
🗓️To keep up with the fandom lore: Know your Destiel/Cockles history: a calendar
🔎To find your way around in all this mess that is my Tumblr, here's a little help:
Before the destiel tag below, you can find all the specific tags I use on my posts to sort them the best way possible. I hope it'll help and you'll enjoy what I post. (It'll probably evolve in the future). Here's Dean winking, just because why not.
What’s the most surprising or obscure topic you’ve had to research for a fic? How did it change your perspective on it?
Interesting question!
Nothing obscure but I had to search things about how a lighthouse works to write this Destiel fic and it was fun to learn about it.
If I get the occasion one day, I'd enjoy visiting one. And when I see one in a picture or something, I feel nostalgic about this fic and I think about this Dean and this Cas I wrote about 😊
Also there are other random stuff like searching how you feel when you have a concussion and what should you do to get better or looking straight razor pictures to help draw one (which isn't about writing I know but I drew one for that fic above so maybe it counts and I never thought I'd draw a straight razor in my life one day).
So far there’s only been two instances where I’ve fallen deep in the rabbit holes.
For my fic Love Awakened, Thyself Revealed the boys stop at the Gheens Science Hall and Rauch Planeterium at the University of Louisville. They had briefly closed due to COVID and were raising money to reopen; I fell deep down a research hole in how much the community around them loved it when it was open, all the star shows, and they even had a Led Zeppelin Laser Show. It quickly became something I continuously followed. A few days before my fic was set to post they updated saying they were going to close permanently due to lack of funding and they couldn’t find a buyer to reopen the space. I was so sad about it.
Then for my recent fic Fallen & Found there’s a lot about substance abuse and Cas becoming a stripper. I did a lot of research on stripper culture here on the east coast and I’d worked in the recovery space before so I had some insight but diving deep into ptsd and recovery opened my eyes to the plight of addiction.
It made me approach writing the story not simply from condemning addiction but the journey down addiction and how easily it consumes and how recovery is found in many different ways and in unlikely spaces.
It’s easy for me to find a topic and obsess over it but I love exploring different topics in my fics
Just imagine for a second. Cas and Dean working a case together near Fort Collins and Cas dragging Dean to the Denver Museum of Nature & Science. Dean doesn’t want to go there, because museums are boring, except maybe the part with the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are kinda cool, otherwise there’s no point in visiting a natural history museum, but since Cas wants to, well, they go anyway.
They do the tour around the parts where all the rocks are exposed. Cas is amazed by all of them, by their shapes and colors. He sees that Dean is not as interested as he is, even when Cas tells him where the rocks come from.
“I remember. This one was formed during the splitting of the continents, precisely between Europe and Africa. It was slow if you look at it from the human perspective but it’s actually fascinating.” Dean nods here and there, but Cas knows how to get his attention. "Look, Dean. The color of that quartz, it's beautiful." He starts, bending a little over the glass case protecting the rocks, pointing at the bright green one in front of him.
"Yeah, yeah." Dean answers, quickly glancing at the object of Cas's amazement, but really, he doesn’t want to look at pebbles right now, he would have preferred to go watch a movie or grab a bite at the diner they saw on their way to the museum instead.
"The green here is almost as beautiful as the one in your eyes." Cas states, his fingers brushing along Dean's arm tenderly. Dean looks at him suddenly with wide eyes, his cheeks start to tint a little. "And this pink is almost as intense as the one appearing on your cheeks right now." Cas smiles proudly, pointing at a pinkish rock next to the green one, and kisses Dean's cheek as he intertwines their fingers.
He stops near Dean’s ear, his lips brushing it, his other hand cupping Dean’s jaw. “Maybe we can visit the bathroom later.” He whispers then he drags by the hand a speechless and flustered Dean behind him to continue the tour.
Rereading this, it made me think of something else.
After their little bonus tour in the bathroom, they find more pebbles on their way to the dinosaurs.
"You know, you're kinda like those." Dean realizes, looking at a blue one, almost as blue as Cas's eyes.
"What do you mean?" Cas frowns, coming to his side and looking into the same direction.
"You're as old as them." Dean starts and Cas doesn't say anything so he keeps going. "Just like them, it took millions of years to make you who you are today." He continues, contemplative, "they were under specific conditions and intense pressure, which is what made them what they are and they are still here after all this time and beautiful." He pauses, then adds, "they are in front of us today because a human brought them here." Dean finishes, smiling slightly.
"Dean." Cas says, and grabs the human's hand, squeezing.
"I love you, Cas." Dean lets out.
"I love you too, Dean." Cas turns and kisses Dean's lips softly. "You've listened to what I've been saying earlier." Cas notices.
"Of course, my rock." Dean's smiling mouth presses against Cas's again.
Because someone might as well!? And look at this. Look. At. This.
Does this look right to you??
These are just the last three fics I wrote. I appreciate the likes, believe me I do, but you have to understand. Likes do nothing for content creators. It’s the reblogs. Because that’s how you find shit on your dashboard. Through reblogs. Not likes. This isn’t twitter or tiktok or instagram. This is a website that’s run by the reblog system.
Reblogging helps content creators put their stuff out there. Why do you think so many people stopped writing fanfic and creating beautiful fanart and edits? It’s because they put in hours of work and don’t get nearly enough notes for their masterpieces. Yes we do this because we enjoy it but like…some validation won’t hurt. A boost of confidence here and there might be all someone needs to finish whatever thing they started and left.
^^ Just some examples of my stories, pulled at random from my notes. Some of those stories are a couple of years old, and that’s not a lot of reblogs.
Likes don’t help get your favourite creators’ stuff seen. It doesn’t get artists commissioned for glorious artwork, and it doesn’t get writers new readers (or commissions if they’re open). If you didn’t enjoy it that much, then there’s obviously no pressure to reblog, but if you did enjoy it, then the least you can do is reblog.
The reason I’ve got my ‘old stories reblog’ tag is because new folks don’t necessarily know about my older stories, so I reblog an old one to bring it to light again. I feel no shame in doing this, and neither should you if you’re a content creator. Promote your work because not many people seem prepared to help out.
Yes. Reblogs are what keeps this site alive, and they are what keeps creators creating. AO3 works the same way. Kudos are just likes. Comments are how a writer knows you enjoyed their story.
Definitely check out Restraintstiel Week for so many Cas focused fics that put that angel in a situation 🥰 also check out the tumblr tag #restraintstiel week for art and fics and more.
Give a look into @destieltropecollection that catalogues some amazing fics! They span multiple years. With a lot of different tropes that could interest you.
My personal faves are written by these folks:
(To name a few and I’m missing many, don’t shoot me if you don’t see yourself on there but these definitely never miss)
Bethmints
WhoIPretended2Be
ZephyrHearts
Valdelion
Peachyhalloween
Youchangedmedestiel
Greenjello94
NiksFics
TheTwistedWillow
Also look through the big bangs and reverse bang lists they always have amazing entries submitted with beautiful art 💙💚
What’s the most surprising or obscure topic you’ve had to research for a fic? How did it change your perspective on it?
Interesting question!
Nothing obscure but I had to search things about how a lighthouse works to write this Destiel fic and it was fun to learn about it.
If I get the occasion one day, I'd enjoy visiting one. And when I see one in a picture or something, I feel nostalgic about this fic and I think about this Dean and this Cas I wrote about 😊
Also there are other random stuff like searching how you feel when you have a concussion and what should you do to get better or looking straight razor pictures to help draw one (which isn't about writing I know but I drew one for that fic above so maybe it counts and I never thought I'd draw a straight razor in my life one day).
set somewhere in s5, I love that the brothers' little patchwork family took that photo before the apocalypse, bobby and his sons, ellen and jo, castiel so close to humanity and feeling like more than just a comrade like these people truly found each other. and cas' "we're making things up as wek go" is the moment where things change for dean like that's his philosophy uttered out loud it means so much to him, that scene encapsulate their mutual fait so well i love s4 & 5
Cas is only in 5 episodes of season 7. And yet there's still so much destiel in there (also calling it 5 is very generous since in episode 2 he just walks into the lake)
There's something in here about the trenchcoat framing Cas' abscense from Dean's life. You know picking it up, folding and cradling it gently. Carrying it around the US all while switching cars multiple times and basically having to leave everything else of your "normal" life behind (no more rock aliases, no more motel rooms, ditching the car that's practically your home). But you allow yourself that one little indulgence because it's the only thing you have left of him. And then you find him, but he doesn't remember you. So you have to hold out just a little longer so that you can finally give it back to him. All while grappling with the fact that he betrayed you and you don't know if you'll ever be able to trust him again (you will).
Or well abscence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever
(As always I don't guarantee that all of this is 100% correct. Wie immer alle Angaben ohne Gewähr.)
the absolute trust shown though dean tossing the impala keys over to cas just moments after they'd been at each other's throats because cas had gone behind his back and stolen the colt. all of that is already forgiven as he casually tosses the keys to his childhood home, his safe place, and also symbolically his body and soul. it means so much.
When you get this, list 5 of your favorite songs, publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite mutuals!
Ooo this is hard! Thank you for the tag @greeneyedgrasshopperandhisangel 🥰
Tourniquet by Evanescence
Papercut by Linkin Park
Stay by NNAVY
Mango by Kamauu
Dance in the Dark by Lady Gaga
This is just a couple in English that I love, doesn’t include any of the ones in other languages I adore. My music taste is really varied 😂
@bethmints @king-lena @th3grunchler @shallowseeker @youchangedmedestiel @sam-wilsons-couch @em-bitterred @deweys-posts @lesbiandean @auperntural +free tag whoever would like to share please do! I need more songs to get obsessed with 💙💚
That's so hard to choose only 5 but here they are:
Human by Rag'N'Bone Man
Feeling Good by Nina Simone
Simple Man (Jensen Ackles' version)
Nothing Else Matters by Metallica
Let 'Em Cry by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Your turn @morallygreyintrovert @mygenderisthattrenchcoat @peachyhalloween @bangtanzucchini @i-miss-poptropica @inacatastrophicmind @imaginaryprotagonist @vannythedragon @here4thetrama @jensenacklesmybeloved and anyone else who wants to participate!
If I said that I've been planning an Actors AU where Dean is a really successful actor, but recently he's been cast as the lead in a load of action movies and his agent (Gabriel) doesn't want him to get typecast, so he agrees for Dean to star in something totally different... A Western Romance movie that's due to release for next year's Valentines Day.
The studio behind it thinks that it's going to be a big hit - the romance genre is making a lot of money right now, and a Western Romance released on Valentines Day starring Dean Winchester as one of the romantic leads is almost guaranteed to get them huge box office success. But! They're having trouble casting the right person to star alongside him as the other romantic lead.
The studio hasn't really got anyone specifically in mind for the part, so they've called in a bunch of actors who got through auditions and callbacks to have a chemistry read with Dean......
There's a lot of money riding on this, and a lot of a romance movie's success is largely due to the chemistry between the leads, so they're very invested in who to cast for this other role. Which is why the studio execs, the director, head writer, and casting director are all going to be sitting in the room to watch the chemistry reads.
No pressure.
Dean thinks being in a romance movie is kinda lame, but he's a professional and he will do. his. job.
Anyway, he reads his lines with a few different actors - Cassie, Lisa, Pamela, Tessa... and he thinks he's had chemistry with them all. (He thinks he has chemistry with everyone though.)
The last actor to be called in is announced as 'Castiel' and Dean is just thinking, 'huh weird name', when he's stunned speechless as a guy walks in.
Uh. No. Absolutely not. He's not starring in a romance movie with a guy!
But the room is full of top studio execs (including Crowley) and the very famous director of the movie (Balthazar) and he really can't make a fuss if he wants to keep working in the industry. It's not that he's homophobic or anything, he just doesn't personally, as a straight man (yeah okay) want to be act as a gay character. But Dean does his job and he grits his teeth and reads his lines.
He thinks it goes really really badly.
This Castiel dude is so weird - he keeps holding really intense eye contact, and then Dean gets kind of twitchy about it, so he keeps slipping out of the eye contact and looking down at his nose (not his lips. not his lips). And like, who does this guy thinks he is - he's performing the stage directions during a chemistry read, who does he think he's impressing?? So Dean matches his energy and acts right back.
By the end of the scene their characters are supposed to be leaning in for a light kiss, but somehow that's changed into something way more dramatic - Castiel is holding onto his shoulder with one hand, the other has tipped his chin up. One of Dean's hands has found its way into his hair somehow (when did that happen) and the other is curled around his waist.
The script ends there so Castiel steps back and thanks the room for their time.
Dean is left reeling, breathing heavily, and feels kinda like he's been left hanging.
Gabriel gives him double thumbs up from across the room while the execs all clap, and Castiel excuses himself from the room as they talk excitedly amongst themselves.
Who does that guy think he is?????
Dean is convinced after all that 'over-acting' there's no way that Castiel will get the role. They had no chemistry at all.
Guess who's starring in the Western Romance with Dean??
ofc the internet is buzzing with this new gay cowboy romance movie and they all think there's a secret thing going on between the two lead actors. Which there isn't!! ...... (Until there is)
Cas deliberately pushes Dean's buttons while they're in scenes together, because he knows how much Dean didn't want him to get the role in the first place (also why he played up at the chemistry read) so they're both as bad as each other honestly.
So now Dean finds Castiel difficult to work with and complains about him all the time to Gabriel (also Cas's cousin - he's the one that got him into the casting call in the first place by pulling some strings).
Much to Dean's dismay they have to work with an intimacy coordinator (Charlie) during their intimate scenes, and he seems to be the only one bothered by all of this!! But he can't say anything to anyone but Gabe because he doesn't want it to get around that Dean Winchester has a problem playing a gay character (because he doesn't okay! It's just that this Castiel guy is getting under his skin!!!) Dean is practically hissing he's so mad about this whole situation (he's lying to himself).
HOWEVER
as time goes on, and they work so closely together, Dean comes to some pretty life altering revelations about himself and his sexuality and just how fond of his costar he is.
they spend a lot of time with each other (especially during the press tour - Dean loves it, Cas hates it), they come to respect each other, their acting of having feelings for each other becomes real, they practice lines in each other's trailers, the movie is a big big success! The enemies become lovers !!!!
Distance calculated with DistanceFromTo. This is not the actual driving path and just the shortest distance between the two points. Take the timeline with a grain of salt because this one was hard to figure out and sometimes I just estimated which month it could be.
Taglist | Masterpost (for the other seasons and destiel focused infographics)
(As always I don't guarantee that all of this is 100% correct. Wie immer alle Angaben ohne Gewähr.)
