merely living, broken

I hate my life, I hate myself, I hate that this shitshow keeps going on.

[gedankentumult]

“Sehnsucht nach etwas von dem ich nicht weiß was, wo und wann es ist oder ob es je sein wird.”

— gedankentumult

[younganonymus]

Nähe, Kontakte, Zuneigung, Familie (Frau und Kind), Leidenschaft, Frieden, Natur

[kngshxt-deactivated20180831]

i am not a hint taker. u need to speak up.

[originalvoyage]

big fan of everything calm and different

[shoelace4-48]

in the mood to be hugged for an entire night

[younganonymus]

That is quite literally THE thing I am most desperate for!!! At least that is why I was SO DAMN UPSET about yesterday. Other people, other men long for sex and blasting one off and whatnot, I LONG for affection. From time to time these past years I thought about getting a hooker, yesterday as well, but this is absolutely nothing that would make me happy. Whenever this thought comes up [Little background story: I’ve been single for eight/nine years now and had no sex for even longer than that, even though there were some chances but I let them slide.], I immediately realise this is not what I crave for. It may be physical touch, yes, but mostly it is holding someone special very close, taking care of them, caressing them with your heart and passion, letting bodies speak. But yesterday??? Yesterday it was all about not feeling so goddamn lonely all the time and it would have helped A LOT to hug someone really tightly and not letting them go.

[younganonymus]

Do I really have to jump to make an end to it, finally?!?

But from what height?

To me almost every height looks like I will survive it, especially considering what else I have survived and withstand before.

Or should I grab a back of rocks and dive into a river, like I came up with years ago?

But then again, how deep are the rivers around me and will my body instinctively discard it once near drowning?

…

I hate having all these doubts, I HATE being unable to kill myself.

So, SO many people do it on the daily, so many more die by accidents, but me??? I can’t even injure myself on purpose.

A former friend/classmate once said I must have a reeaaalllyyy good guardian then, but I still do not understand why that is.

…

…

I hate suffering like that…

[13.07.2036, 20:41 Uhr]

[brainfucked-extended]

Ich bin einfach nicht gut genug. Für nichts und niemanden.

[younganonymus]

Ich hasse es, einsam zu sein…

[kosmogrl]

[soul-inyour-bonesx]

Take me to your chest and let me in

[younganonymus]

[applepieandcupcakess]

hey google what is the most painless way to die asking for a friend

[younganonymus]

Well, if you’re asking for a friend go get a bullet and help him then. … Duh.

[mydarkawaits]

i like mine supportive, introvert, loyal, jealous.

[younganonymus]

(Sounds like a description… {^,^’} )

[thememedaddy]

[younganonymus]

Ol’ stray dog - Riley Green

I’m just a country boy - Don Williams

Disappearing taillights - Gord Bamford

July in Chayenne - Aaron Watson

I need a doctor - Eminem ft. Dr. Dre

I’ll be missing you - Puff Daddy ft. Faith Evans

Lieber Gott - Capital Bra & Samra

Tilidin - Capital Bra & Samra

Gott schenk ihr Flügel - Rapsoul

Three little birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers

[imsoofuckingsad]

do i really have to be alive every day

[wortedergefuehle]

Eine Wespe sticht dich und statt dich um deine Wunden zu kümmern, läufst du ihr nach und fragst, warum sie das getan hat

[younganonymus]

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[younganonymus]

“In all honesty, I can not say I plan a future this year and beyond.

And though it is not something _that_ actively, I do kinda plan how things may end this year.

I do not put much faith in it nor much preparation or thought, but I have two days/time slots where I hope things/life ends afterwards.“

- me, just now [04.07.2026, 23:06 Uhr]

[loveletters2myself]

all i crave is a peaceful life. no chaos, no drama, no gossip. safe friendships. devotion. sunlight. early nights. nervous system regulation. deep conversations about energy + purpose. intuition over logic. alignment over achievement.