sometimes love doesn’t win
Sometimes we need to know when to stop. To think if it’s really worth it to loose yourself over someone who can’t grow to my level, not in cocky way, but rather in understanding way. I can’t expect her to change who she is, because yes, most of the problems come from unhealthy attitudes. But some deep ones come from who she is, her history, who she developed to be. I don’t judge her, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for her until now, and even now it can be hard because she has to still deal with her unhealed trauma resurfacing.
I am really so sad to say I can’t survive this anymore, because to me it’s just unfair. Empathy can only go so far. My soul is aching for freedom, for a little peace. Now I have my own shit to deal with and lot of work to do to compensate for the year of personal growth lost and to achieve my ideal healthy and happy life. The world is waiting for me, and I can’t wait any longer, I need to be GONE.
I will always love and miss you, you were the biggest book I red, and the most complicated one. The fact that you still have a little power over me scares me a fucking lot, but at the end of the day I know I’m a better person far from you, at least now. Thank you for all the good times and the learning. You will live forever in a place of my heart and I know I will never love someone the way I loved you. You are unique. But so am I.
I am going to become the best version of myself and that is why for now there is no place for someone in my life.
-lysm gms
