Daily Tales of a Twenty-Something Screw-Up

Breakfast food aficionado

[intensional]

i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word

[lordtableshark]

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

[notlindsay]

alright so who wants to fall in love with me

[notlindsay]

this is unbelievable I have to do everything myself

[ificouldlookoutyoureyesiwould]

[communistkenobi-archive]

obi wan is just so incredibly gay. limpest wrist in the galaxy

It’s why he keeps dropping his lightsaber

[communistkenobi-archive]

stop being funnier on my posts than me

[junkfoodcinemas]

Spaceballs (1987) dir. Mel Brooks

[thebootydiaries]

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: new phone who dis

[worthikids]

Palpatine’s Journey

[studentlifeproblems]

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[riverofmolecules]

true allyship

[lardypoison-deactivated20150405]

why r fire extinguishers in glass cases that u have to smash?? its like u know what this fire needs?? more danger

[toastbutteregg]

[toastbutteregg]

[jellybeanium124]

The Umbrella Academy but every time Five goes to the Commission/deals with the Handler he puts on a brown fedora like Perry the Platypus

[thebootydiaries]

waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks

waitress: sir please stop cyring