something funny
my friend just texted me that she was reminded of me cuz she was listening toĀ āi found a girlā by the vamps and i used to listen to that all the goddamn time
how does she not suspect that im gay???
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@youraveragesorcerer
something funny
my friend just texted me that she was reminded of me cuz she was listening toĀ āi found a girlā by the vamps and i used to listen to that all the goddamn time
how does she not suspect that im gay???
oh to be that teen who wears tacky, stained clothes. dirt on my shoes, a tattered backpack, smudged eyeliner, crazy, unkemt hair. i want to carry around that old stuffed animal that i just canāt stop sleeping with. i want to listen to my cringey music and not be ashamed of it. i hate that teens are expected to be perfect, have perfect style, listen to only the best music. tacky should be acceptable! messy converse and poorly made gloves should be okay to wear! who doesnāt like a bit of acne, or those eye bags that never seem to go away? embrace the unconventional! who gives a shit about looks anyway?
psa
i want a cat !!
I REALLY WANT A CAT.
thats it :)
sleep
this might sound stupidly obvious, but iāve been getting enough sleep at night lately and holy shit i feel so much better? like iām happier and *not* tired all the goddamn time.Ā
seriously, try it. i know there's a ton of romanticisation around being sleep deprived (think late nights, eye bags, tortured genius type shiz) but!! this is not a drill!! itās your health!! adjusting might take time, but iād recommend having some warm honey and milk if you really arenāt feeling like sleeping
exam season has stopped for a while for me - my big tests start around the end of april and finish in june so iām going to savour the nights in bed iām free to rest. give it a shot, would ya?
me going to sleep surrounded by the love and warmth of my so:
me going to bed thinking about how pretty girls are
a dumb ramble
i just realized iāve got another 80-ish years (hopefully) before i stop existing. itās scary. itās really scary. iāve only considered this right now and iāve come accustomed to joy; i do not want to lose it in death. logic tells me i wonāt know when i *have* lost it (the ability to feel anything) so there isnāt really anything to fear but even so the thought of not-existing seems so bleak right now.
shout out to myself
I beast-moded today and it was great.
Iām talking hitting the books, hitting the mall and hitting the gym whilst having time to hang out with my family. Its nice to have a productive and chill day, especially when most of my days from now are going to be pretty study-oriented.
Now Iām kinda sleepy :)
10/01/2020
i cried for the first time this year today.
it was overwhelming; the feeling that everything was speeding towards me and so much change was heading my way. see, theres a chance iām moving next year and i donāt know if i want to. i just moved a little over a year ago and iām finally happy here. i have friends, goals, norms and a way of life. having to move, to rip all that down just to completely start anew soundsĀ exhausting and iām not sure i want to do it anymore.
itās okay, though. iām okay.
quick reminder
look for the good things in your day in every moment: your hot mug of tea, golden hour, ivy curling around the wall of that building. notice all the good things because lord knows thereās enough bad :)
its the little things, man.
the literal softest song in the freaking world
at this moment in time, only me andĀ āsunkissedā by khai dreams exists
a few days of better than okay
Iāve been trying to do my best for a few days and Iām not going to lie, it can get hard. Itās so easy to stay in bed for five more minutes (spoiler alert - itās never just five minutes) or forget about eating more fruits n veggies or simply neglect my studies, but Iāve been trying. I even went to the gym today! It was a little under twenty minutes but Iām still super proud!Ā
I donāt know if its eveyone around me or simply myself that has changed, but Iām feeling more settled and happy. Donāt get me wrong, further math is still kicking my ass and I have absolutely no friends in that class, but Iām trying. That being said, Iām going to make it a goal to participate in at least 3 of my classes a day justĀ ācause I want my teachers to like me more.Ā
Cheers to personal growth <3
who i want to be
Itās 2020! A new decade, a new start, a new me.
I suppose Iām not bad at the momement; I would consider myself kind, funny and hardworking in between long bouts of laziness, but I want to be the best me. I want to be happier, healthier and more confident. I want to be smarter, kinder and more self-assured.Ā
I want to wake up with a smile. I want to feel secure in myself, in my body. I want to be so full of oppurtunities that I everyday I remember I am living in the present as well as the future. That doesnāt have to be far away.
On that note, my 2020 goals:
ā§ Get all 8ā²s and 9ā²s in my GCSEs
ā§ Do something for myself each day. A break from the routine of everyday life
ā§ Eat more whole foods
ā§ Spend more time with the people around me
ā§ Physically, I want to be stronger and more toned
ā§ Write! Especially when Iām feeling stressed, a chance to let my mind wander is always appreciated
ā§ Talk to myself in a more positive manner
This year, Iām putting full trust in myself. Iām going to grow and become and become happier - last year I was sad too often and Iām done with that.
Good luck with your resolutions!