Some Common Sense Tips for Being an Excellent Play Partner
So, since I am currently in muse limbo, and I have been RPing for a very, very, very long time in many kinds of formats, I figured I would list some tips I’ve picked up along the way which make for a universally better roleplay experience. Obviously these are based on my experience, but they might just help you, too. Take them or not as you choose!
Communicate, communicate, communicate. One of the very best things you can do is to keep in touch with your playfriends. If you have questions, ask them. If you want to change tracks, ask them. If you want to do something which might be detrimental to their muse, tell them. If you want them to do something that might be detrimental to yours, tell them! But also, too, don’t be afraid of just becoming their friend. It makes the experience so much more enriching.
Take an active, genuine interest in the other person’s muse. If you tend to want to treat other muses (and muns) as something which only exists to gratify your muse and play, you’re going to struggle to keep play partners and threads going. But if you take an active interest in the other guy and their muse, then chances are, your partner will reciprocate and your play will be that much better. No one likes to feel used. Your muse may be the center of your RP world, but that also goes the same for everyone else. Taking an active, genuine interest makes everyone feel better.
You’re allowed to say ‘yes.’ That master-slave AU plot with hardcore torture you want to play but are shy about? Don’t be! No one here’s judging you, and if they are, then they are not worth listening to. Obviously be safe and make sure you and your partner are of age to do so, but if you both are, whatever plot you want to run is for yours and your partner’s enjoyment. Go for it!
You’re allowed to say ‘no.’ Sometimes people might pressure you towards something that might either damage your muse in ways you don’t want, or just otherwise make your play experience uncomfortable. You are absolutely allowed – and encouraged! – to say no. You are beholden to no one. Your muse is yours, and if you don’t want to allow them to be used in a storyline like that, then by all means speak up and say no.
Debriefing (not the sexy kind) works. Sometimes, we get into some really intense play. Anyone who tells you that RP can’t have a major influence on how you feel is being unrealistic. Sure, there’s a definite line between IC and OOC, and letting it damage your real life is not an option, but even when you have that line drawn, some kinds of play get intense. They make you feel. Sometimes, too, they make you feel badly. TALK ABOUT IT. Discuss it with your playpals, and get it out in the open. If your partner doesn’t wish to listen and talk after an intense play experience, then you probably need to disengage from them, because talking about it and processing it will be good for both mun and muse.
Don’t make it all about your muse, all the time.One of the hardest things to deal with is when an otherwise well-meaning playpal always steals center stage. Your muse just got hurt. Suddenly, their muse has to be hurt a hundred times worse. Don’t be that guy. Yes, your muse is yours, but one of the most subtle, awful ways to undermine your playpartner is to never allow them the spotlight, to steal it at first opportunity. This isn’t a game of one-upsmanship, it’s a game of mutual collaboration and cooperation. Therefore, collaborate, cooperate and share. You will have much better play.
Don’t devalue yourself or your muse. Trust me, you are worthy. You don’t need to do anything but bring your creativity to the table, and make an honest, active, courteous effort to be a good play partner. You don’t need to buy anyone’s affections. Just come and play and realize that yes, you’re worth it, and so is your muse, and you will probably feel a lot better. Confidence and attitude goes a long, long way.
Ask questions, read Abouts, continue to communicate. Sometimes, you can find a great play hook in someone’s About. And asking someone clarifying questions about their muse is a great way to engage and make people feel good, because everyone puts a lot of time and care into this. Being asked about things and getting to discuss things is so very much fun, so don’t be afraid to ask. Get into meta discussions. Track a piece of character psychology. You won’t regret it.
However you see your muse, not everyone is going to see them the same. Not everyone is going to like them. Not everyone is going to find them as wonderful as you. Conversely, someone may come to adore them even more than you, too. Any which way, though, not everyone is going to have the same point of view; leave room for interpretation and be gracious. Don’t get angry if your character is not universally loved by all; doing so only makes people less likely, not more, to play with you.
Always remember that ICA=ICC. I literally cannot hammer on this enough. If your character does something in game, then you cannot expect them to get off without consequences. If they attack someone, they need to be prepared for a counterattack. If they do something awful, they should be prepared to be untrusted regardless of motivation. Very few things are more frustrating than someone mass slaughtering fifty NPCs and then everyone being expected to accept it just so a character can maintain their reputation. Generally speaking, if something would upset someone in real life, it will probably upset characters in game, too. We might deal with the extraordinary, but the basic laws of cause and effect, of action and consequence, remains the same.
So, there you go. Ten basic tips. I hope they help. <3
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